GEORGIA     SCENES 

Characters,  Incidents,  etc.,  in  the  First 
Half -Century  of  the  Republic 


(A 


BY 

A   NATIVE   GEORGIAN 
-B    L*v\gStV 

NEW  EDITION 
FROM  NEW  PLATES 


WITH  THE 
ORIGINAL  ILLUSTRATIONS 


NEW    YORK 

HARPER    &    BROTHERS    PUBLISHERS 
1897 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1840,  by 

HAKPKR    &    BROTH KKS, 
In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  Southern  District  of  New  York. 

All  rights  reitrved. 


Add  to  Lib* 
GIFT 


. 


//817 


PREFACE 

TO   THE   FIRST   EDITION 


THE  following  sketches  were  written  rather  in 
the  hope  that  chance  would  bring  them  to  light 
when  time  would  give  them  an  interest  than  in 
the  belief  that  they  would  afford  any  interest  to 
the  readers  of  the  present  day.  I  knew,  how 
ever,  that  the  chance  of  their  surviving  the 
author  would  be  increased  in  proportion  to  their 
popularity  upon  their  first  appearance ;  and, 
therefore,  I  used  some  little  art  in  order  to  rec 
ommend  them  to  the  readers  of  my  ownv  times. 
They  consist  of  nothing  more  than  fanciful  com 
binations  of  real  incidents  and  characters  ;  and 
throwing  into  those  scenes,  which  would  be 
otherwise  dull  and  insipid,  some  personal  inci 
dent  or  adventure  of  my  own,  real  or  imaginary, 
as  it  would  best  suit  my  purpose — usually  real, 
but  happening  at  different  times  and  under  dif 
ferent  circumstances  from  those  in  which  they 
are  here  represented.  I  have  not  always,  how 
ever,  taken  this  liberty.  Some  of  the  scenes  are 


780 


PREFACE 


as  literally  true  as  the  frailties  of  memory  would 
allow  them  to  be.  I  commenced  the  publication 
of  them,  in  one  of  the  gazettes  of  the  State, 
rather  more  than  a  year  ago  ;  and  I  was  not  more 
pleased  than  astonished  to  find  that  they  were 
well  received  by  readers  generally.  For  the  last 
six  months  I  have  been  importuned  by  persons 
from  all  quarters  of  the  State  to  give  them  to 
the  public  in  the  present  form.  This  volume 
is  purely  a  concession  to  their  entreaties.  From 
private  considerations,  I  was  extremely  desirous 
of  concealing  the  author,  and,  the  more  effect 
ually  to  do  so,  I  wrote  under  two  signatures. 
These  have  now  become  too  closely  interwoven 
with  the  sketches  to  be  separated  from  them, 
without  an  expense  of  time  and  trouble  which  I 
am  unwilling  to  incur.  Hall  is  the  writer  of  those 
sketches  in  which  men  appear  as  the  principal 
actors,  and  Baldwin  of  those  in  which  women  are 
the  prominent  figures.  For  the  "  Militia  Com 
pany  Drill"  I  am  indebted  to  a  friend,  of  whose 
labors  I  would  gladly  have  availed  myself  oftener. 
The  reader  will  find  in  the  object  of  the  sketches 
an  apology  for  the  minuteness  of  detail  into 
which  some  of  them  run,  and  for  the  introduc 
tion  of  some  things  into  them  which  would  have 
been  excluded  were  they  merely  the  creations  of 
fancy. 

I  have  not  had  it  in  my  power  to  superintend 
the  publication  of  them,  though  they  issue  from 


PREFACE 


a  press  in  the  immediate  vicinity  of  my  residence. 
I  discovered  that  if  the  work  was  delayed  until 
I  could  have  an  opportunity  of  examining  the 
proof-sheets,  it  would  linger  in  the  press  until 
the  expenses  (already  large)  would  become  in 
tolerable.  Consequently,  there  may  be  many 
typographical  errors  among  them,  for  which  I 
must  crave  the  reader's  indulgence. 

I  cannot  conclude  these  introductory  remarks 
without  reminding  those  who  have  taken  excep 
tions  to  the  coarse,  inelegant,  and  sometimes 
ungrammatical  language  which  the  writer  rep 
resents  himself  as  occasionally  using,  that  it  is 
language  accommodated  to  the  capacity  of  the  per 
son  to  whom  he  represents  himself  as  speaking. 

THE  AUTHOR. 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 

GEORGIA  THEATRICS 1 

THE  DANCE 6 

THE  HORSE-SWAP -.22 

THE  CHARACTER  OP  A  NATIVE  GEORGIAN  ...  34 

THE  FIGHT 65 

THE  SONG 82 

THE  TURNOUT 94 

THE  "CHARMING  CREATURE"  AS  A  WIFE.  .  .  .  108 

THE  GANDER-PULLING 147 

THE  BALL 160 

*  THE  MOTHER  AND  HER  CHILD 175 

THE  DEBATING  SOCIETY 180 

THE  MILITIA  COMPANY  DRILL 196 

THE  TURF 207 

AN  INTERESTING  INTERVIEW 220 

THE  FOX-HUNT 228 

V  THE  WAXWORKS 248 

A  SAGE  CONVERSATION 259 

THE  SHOOTING -MATCH  .  .  274 


ILLITSTKATIONS 


PAGE 

HURRYING  TO  THE   RACES Frontispiece 

A   LINCOLN   REHEARSAL 4 

BLOSSOM   AND   HIS   HORSE   BULLET 25 

NED   BRACE   AT   CHURCH 53 

NED  BRACE  AND  THE  LITTLE  MAN  AT  A  FUNERAL  .  55 

RANSY  SNIFFLE 68 

MICHAEL  ST.  JOHN,  THE  SCHOOL-MASTER,  EFFECTING 

AN  ENTRANCE  BY  STORM 103 

"ANOTHER  WOULD  'BUSS  HER'  BECAUSE  SHE  WAS 

GEORGE'S  WIFE" 134 

MILITIA  DRILL 199 

HARDY  SLOW  AND  TOBIAS  SWIFT 222 

THE  FOX-HUNT 241 

THE  WAXWORKS  .  .  255 


GEORGIA   SCENES 


GEORGIA    THEATRICS 

IF  my  memory  fail  me  not,  the  10th  of  June, 
1809,  found  me,  at  about  eleven  o'clock  in  the 
forenoon,  ascending  a  long  and  gentle  slope  in 
what  was  called  "  The  Dark  Corner"  of  Lincoln. 
I  believe  it  took  its  name  from  the  moral  darkness 
which  reigned  over  that  portion  of  the  county 
at  the  time  of  which  I  am  speaking.  If  in  this 
point  of  view  it  was  but  a  shade  darker  than  the 
rest  of  the  county,  it  was  inconceivably  dark. 
If  any  man  can  name  a  trick  or  sin  which  had 
not  been  committed  at  the  time  of  which  I  am 
speaking,  in  the  very  focus  of  all  the  county's 
illumination  (Lincolnton),  he  must  himself  be 
the  most  inventive  of  the  tricky  and  the  very 
Judas  of  sinners.  Since  that  time,  however  (all 
humor  aside),  Lincoln  has  become  a  living  proof 
"  that  light  shineth  in  darkness."  Could  I  vent 
ure  to  mingle  the  solemn  with  the  ludicrous, 
even  for  the  purposes  of  honorable  contrast,  I 
could  adduce  from  this  county  instances  of  the 
most  numerous  and  wonderful  transitions  from 


GEORGIA   SCENES 


vice  and  folly  to  virtue  and  holiness  which 
haveieyer,  perhaps,,  beer,  witnessed  since  the  days 
of  the  apostolic  miimti'y.  So  much,  lest  it 
should;  be  .thought  -by-some  -that  what  I  am  about 
to  relate '  is  bharacter.isti'a  oi .'the  county  in  which 
it  occurred. 

Whatever  may  be  said  of  the  moral  condition 
of  the  Dark  Corner  at  the  time  just  mentioned, 
its  natural  condition  was  anything  but  dark.  It 
smiled  in  all  the  charms  of  spring ;  and  spring 
borrowed  a  new  charm  from  its  undulating 
grounds,  its  luxuriant  woodlands,  its  sportive 
streams,  its  vocal  birds,  and  its  blushing  flowers. 

Rapt  with  the  enchantment  of  the  season  and 
the  scenery  around  me,  I  was  slowly  rising  the 
slope,  when  I  was  startled  by  loud,  profane,  and 
boisterous  voices,  which  seemed  to  proceed  from 
a  thick  covert  of  undergrowth  about  two  hundred 
yards  in  the  advance  of  me  and  about  one  hun 
dred  to  the  right  of  my  road. 

"  You  kin,  kin  you  ?" 

"  Yes,  I  kin,  and  am  able  to  do  it !  Boo-oo-oo  ! 
Oh,  wake  snakes,  and  walk  your  chalks  !  Brim 
stone  and fire  !  Don't  hold  me,  Nick  Sto- 

val !  The  fight's  made  up,  and  let's  go  at  it. 

my  soul  if  I  don't  jump  down  his  throat, 

and  gallop  every  chitterling  out  of  him  before 
you  can  say  l  quit '  \" 

"Now,  Nick,  don't  hold  him!  Jist  let  the 
wild-cat  come,  and  I'll  tame  him.  Ned  '11  see  me 
a  fair  fight !  Won't  you,  Ned  ?" 

"Oh  yes;  I'll  see  you  a  fair  fight,  blast  my 
old  shoes  if  I  don't !" 


GEORGIA    THEATRICS 


"That's  sufficient,  as  Tom  Haynes  said  when 
he  saw  the  elephant.  Now  let  him  come  I" 

Thus  they  went  on,  with  countless  oaths  in 
terspersed,  which  I  dare  not  even  hint  at,  and 
with  much  that  I  could  not  distinctly  hear. 

In  mercy's  name  !  thought  I,  what  band  of 
ruffians  has  selected  this  holy  season  and  this 
heavenly  retreat  for  such  pandemoniac  riots  ! 
I  quickened  my  gait,  and  had  come  nearly  op 
posite  to  the  thick  grove  whence  the  noise  pro 
ceeded,  when  my  eye  caught,  indistinctly  and  at 
intervals,  through  the  foliage  of  the  dwarf-oaks 
and  hickories  which  intervened,  glimpses  of  a 
man,  or  men,  who  seemed  to  be  in  a  violent 
struggle  ;  and  I  could  occasionally  catch  those 
deep-drawn,  emphatic  oaths  which  men  in  con 
flict  utter  when  they  deal  blows.  I  dismounted, 
and  hurried  to  the  spot  with  all  speed.  I  had 
overcome  about  half  the  space  which  separated 
it  from  me,  when  I  saw  the  combatants  come  to 
the  ground,  and,  after  a  short  struggle,  I  saw 
the  uppermost  one  (for  I  could  not  see  the  other) 
make  a  heavy  plunge  with  both  his  thumbs,  and 
at  the  same  instant  I  heard  a  cry  in  the  accent 
of  keenest  torture,  "  Enough  !  My  eye's  out  \" 

I  was  so  completely  horror-struck  that  I  stood 
transfixed  for  a  moment  to  the  spot  where  the 
cry  met  me.  The  accomplices  in  the  hellish 
deed  which  had  been  perpetrated  had  all  fled  at 
my  approach — at  least,  I  supposed  so,  for  they 
were  not  to  be  seen. 

"Now,  blast  your  corn -shucking  soul  !"  said 
the  victor  (a  youth  about  eighteen  years  old)  as 


4  GEORGIA    SCENES 

he  rose  from  the  ground — "come  cutt'n' your 
shines  'bout  me  agin,  next  time  I  come  to  the 
court-house,  will  you  ?  Get  your  owl  eye  in  agin 
if  you  can  I" 

At  this  moment  he  saw  me  for  the  first  time. 
He  looked  excessively  embarrassed,  and  was 
moving  oft',  when  I  called  to  him,  in  a  tone  em- 


A  LINCOLN  REHEARSAL 


boldened  by  the  sacredness  of  my  office  and  the 
iniquity  of  his  crime,  "Come  back,  you  brute, 
and  assist  me  in  relieving  your  fellow  -  mortal, 
whom  you  have  ruined  forever  I" 

My  rudeness  subdued  his  embarrassment  in  an 
instant ;  and,  with  a  taunting  curl  of  the  nose, 
he  replied,  "You  needn't  kick  before  you're 
spurr'd.  There  a'n't  nobody  there,  nor  haVt 
been  nother.  I  was  jist  seem'  how  I  could  V 
fout."  So  saying,  he  bounded  to  his  plough, 


GEOKGIA   THEATRICS  5 

which  stood  in  the  corner  of  the  fence  about 
fifty  yards  beyond  the  battle-ground. 

And,  would  you  believe  it,  gentle  reader  ?  his 
report  was  true.  All  that  I  had  heard  and  seen 
was  nothing  more  nor  less  than  a  Lincoln  re 
hearsal,  in  which  the  youth  who  had  just  left 
me  had  played  all  the  parts  of  all  the  characters 
in  a  court-house  fight. 

I  went  to  the  ground  from  which  he  had  risen, 
and  there  were  the  prints  of  his  two  thumbs, 
plunged  up  to  the  balls  in  the  mellow  earth, 
about  the  distance  of  a  man's  eyes  apart ;  and 
the  ground  around  was  broken  up  as  if  two  stags 
had  been  engaged  upon  it. 

HALL. 


THE   DANCE 
A    PERSONAL   ADVENTURE   OF   THE   AUTHOR 

SOME  years  ago  I  was  called  by  business  to  one 
of  the  frontier  counties,  then  but  recently  set 
tled.  It  became  necessary  for  me,  while  there, 
to  enlist  the  services  of  Thomas  Gibson,  Esq., 
one  of  the  magistrates  of  the  county,  who  re 
sided  about  a  mile  and  a  half  from  my  lodgings ; 
and  to  this  circumstance  was  I  indebted  for  my 
introduction  to  him.  I  had  made  the  intended 
disposition  of  my  business,  and  was  on  the  eve 
of  my  departure  for  the  city  of  my  residence, 
when  I  was  induced  to  remain  a  day  longer  by  an 
invitation  from  the  squire  to  attend  a  dance  at 
his  house  on  the  following  day.  Having  learned 
from  my  landlord  that  I  would  probably  "be  ex 
pected  at  the  frolic  "  about  the  hour  of  ten  in 
the  forenoon,  and,  being  desirous  of  seeing  all 
that  passed  upon  the  occasion,  I  went  over  about 
an  hour  before  the  time. 

The  squire's  dwelling  consisted  of  but  one 
room,  which  answered  the  threefold  purpose  of 
dining-room,  bedroom,  and  kitchen.  The  house 
was  constructed  of  logs,  and  the  floor  was  of 
puncheons  —  a  term  which,  in  Georgia,  means 


THE    DANCE  7 

split  logs,  with  their  faces  a  little  smoothed 
with  the  axe  or  hatchet.  To  gratify  his  daugh 
ters,  Polly  and  Silvy,  the  old  gentleman  and  his 
lady  had  consented  to  camp  out  for  a  day,  and  to 
surrender  the  habitation  to  the  girls  and  their 
young  friends. 

When  I  reached  there  I  found  all  things  in 
readiness  for  the  promised  amusement.  The 
girls,  as  the  old  gentleman  informed  me,  had 
compelled  the  family  to  breakfast  under  the 
trees,  for  they  had  completely  stripped  the 
house  of  its  furniture  before  the  sun  rose. 
They  were  already  attired  for  the  dance,  in  neat 
but  plain  habiliments  of  their  own  manufacture. 
"  What !"  says  some  weakly,  sickly,  delicate,  use 
less,  affected,  "charming  creature"  of  the  city— 
"  dressed  for  a  ball  at  nine  in  the  morning  !" 
"  Even  so,  my  delectable  Miss  Octavia  Matilda 
Juliana  Claudia  Ipecacuanha ;  and  what  have 
you  to  say  against  it  ?  If  people  must  dance,  is 
it  riot  much  more  rational  to  employ  the  hour 
allotted  to  exercise  in  that  amusement  than  the 
hours  sacred  to  repose  and  meditation  ?  And 
which  is  entitled  to  the  most  credit — the  young 
lady  who  rises  with  the  dawn,  and  puts  herself 
and  whole  house  in  order  for  a  ball  four  hours 
before  it  begins,  or  the  one  who  requires  a  fort 
night  to  get  herself  dressed  for  it  ? 

The  squire  and  I  employed  the  interval  in 
conversation  about  the  first  settlement  of  the 
country,  in  the  course  of  which  I  picked  up 
some  useful  and  much  interesting  information. 
We  were  at  length  interrupted,  however,  by  the 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


sound  of  a  violin,  which  proceeded  from  a  thick 
wood  at  my  left.  The  performer  soon  after 
made  his  appearance,  and  proved  to  be  no  other 
than  Billy  Porter,  a  negro  fellow  of  much  harm 
less  wit  and  humor,  who  was  well  known 
throughout  the  State.  Poor  Billy!  "his  harp 
is  now  hung  upon  the  willow";  and  I  would 
not  blush  to  offer  a  tear  to  his  memory,  for  his 
name  is  associated  with  some  of  the  happiest 
scenes  of  my  life,  and  he  sleeps  with  many  a 
dear  friend  who  used  to  join  me  in  provoking 
his  wit  and  in  laughing  at  his  eccentricities; 
but  I  am  leading  my  reader  to  the  grave  instead 
of  the  dance,  which  I  promised.  If,  however, 
his  memory  reaches  twelve  years  back  he  will 
excuse  this  short  tribute  of  respect  to  Billy  Por 
ter. 

Billy,  to  give  his  own  account  of  himself, 
"  had  been  taking  a  turn  with  the  brethren 
[the  Bar]  ;  and,  hearing  the  ladies  wanted  to  see 
pretty  Billy,  had  come  to  give  them  a  benefit/' 
The  squire  had  not  seen  him  before  ;  and  it  is 
no  disrespect  to  his  understanding  or  politeness 
to  say  that  he  found  it  impossible  to  give  me 
his  attention  for  half  an  hour  after  Billy  arrived. 
I  had  nothing  to  do,  therefore,  while  the  young 
people  were  assembling,  but  to  improve  my 
knowledge  of  Billy's  character,  to  the  squire's 
amusement.  I  had  been  thus  engaged  about 
thirty  minutes,  when  I  saw  several  fine,  bounc 
ing,  ruddy-cheeked  girls  descending  a  hill  about 
the  eighth  of  a  mile  off.  They,  too,  were  attired 
in  manufactures  of  their  own  hands.  The  refine- 


THE    DANCE  9 

ments  of  the  present  day  in  female  dress  had 
not  even  reached  our  republican  cities  at  this 
time ;  and,  of  course,,  the  country  girls  were 
wholly  ignorant  of  them.  They  carried  no  more 
cloth  upon  their  arms  or  straw  upon  their  heads 
than  was  necessary  to  cover  them.  They  used 
no  artificial  means  of  spreading  their  frock-tails 
to  an  interesting  extent  from  their  ankles.  They 
had  no  boards  laced  to  their  breasts,  nor  any 
corsets  laced  to  their  sides ;  consequently,  they 
looked,  for  all  the  world,  like  human  beings, " 
and  could  be  distinctly  recognized  as  such  at  the 
distance  of  two  hundred  paces.  Their  move 
ments  were  as  free  and  active  as  nature  would 
permit  them  to  be.  Let  me  not  be  understood 
as  interposing  the  least  objection  to  any  lady  in 
this  land  of  liberty  dressing  just  as  she  pleases. 
If  she  choose  to  lay  her  neck  and  shoulders  bare, 
what  right  have  I  to  look  at  them,  much  less 
to  find  fault  with  them  ?  If  she  choose  to  put 
three  yards  of  muslin  in  a  irock  sleeve,  what 
right  have  I  to  ask  why  a  little  strip  of  it  was 
not  put  in  the  body  ?  If  she  like  the  pattern  of 
a  hoisted  umbrella  for  a  frock,  and  the  shape  of 
a  cheese-cask  for  her  body,  what  is  all  that  to 
me  ?  But  to  return. 

The  girls  were  met  by  Polly  and  Silvy  Gibson 
at  some  distance  from  the  house,  who  welcomed 
them — "with  a  kiss,  of  course?"  Oh  no;  but 
with  something  much  less  equivocal — a  hearty 
shake  of  the  hand  and  smiling  countenances, 
which  had  some  meaning. 

[Note. — The  custom  of    kissing,  as  practised 


10  GEORGIA    SCENES 

in  these  clays  by  the  amiaUes,  is  borrowed  from 
the  French,  and  by  them  from  Judas.] 

The  young  ladies  had  generally  collected  before 
any  of  the  young  men  appeared.  It  was  not 
long,  however,  before  a  large  number  of  both 
sexes  were  assembled,  and  they  adjourned  to  the 
ballroom. 

But  for  the  snapping  of  a  fiddle  -  string,  the 
young  people  would  have  been  engaged  in  the 
amusement  of  the  day  in  less  than  three  minutes 
from  the  time  they  entered  the  house.  Here 
were  no  formal  introductions  to  be  given,  no 
drawing  for  places  or  partners,  no  parade  of 
managers,  no  ceremonies.  It  was  perfectly  un 
derstood  that  all  were  invited  to  dance,  and  that 
none  were  invited  who  were  unworthy  to  be 
danced  with  ;  consequently,  no  gentleman  hesi 
tated  to  ask  any  lady  present  to  dance  with  him, 
and  no  lady  refused  to  dance  with  a  gentleman 
merely  because  she  had  not  been  ma.de  acquaint 
ed  with  him. 

In  a  short  time  the  string  was  repaired,  and 
off  went  the  party  to  a  good  old  republican  six 
reel.  I  had  been  thrown  among  fashionables 
se  long  that  I  had  almost  forgotten  my  native 
dance.  But  it  revived  rapidly  as  they  wheeled 
through  its  mazes,  and  with  it  returned  many 
long-forgotten,  pleasing  recollections.  Not  only 
did  the  reel  return  to  me,  but  the  very  persons 
who  used  to  figure  in  it  with  me,  in  the  hey 
day  of  youth. 

Here  was  my  old  sweetheart,  Polly  Jackson, 
identically  personified  in  Polly  Gibson ;  and  here 


THE    DANCE  11 

was  Jim  Johnson's  in  Silvy,  and  Bill  Martin's 
in  Nancy  Ware.  Polly  Gibson  had  my  old 
name's  very  steps  as  well  as  her  looks.  "  Ah/' 
said  I,  "  squire,  this  puts  me  in  mind  of  old 
times.  I  have  not  seen  a  six  reel  for  five-and- 
twenty  years.  It  recalls  to  my  mind  many  a 
happy  hour,  and  many  a  jovial  friend  who  used 
to  enliven  it  with  me.  Your  Polly  looks  so 
much  like  my  old  sweetheart,  Polly  Jackson, 
that,  were  I  young  again,  I  certainly  should  fall 
in  love  with  her." 

"That  was  the  name  of  her  mother,"  said  the 
squire. 

"Where  did  you  marry  her  ?"  inquired  I. 

"  In  Wilkes,"  said  he  ;  "  she  was  the  daughter 
of  old  Nathan  Jackson,  of  that  county." 

"It  isn't  possible  !"  returned  I.  "  Then  it  is  the 
very  girl  of  whom  I  am  speaking.  Where  is  she?" 

"She's  out,"  said  the  squire,  "preparing  din 
ner  for  the  young  people  ;  but  she'll  be  in  tow 
ards  the  close  of  the  day.  But  come  along,  and 
I'll  make  you  acquainted  with  her  at  once  if 
you'll  promise  not  to  run  away  with  her  ;  for  I 
tell  you  what  it  is,  she's  the  likeliest  gal  in  all 
these  parts  yet." 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  I'll  promise  not  to  run  away 
with  her,  but  you  must  not  let  her  know  who  I 
am.  I  wish  to  make  myself  known  to  her ;  and, 
for  fear  of  the  worst,  you  shall  witness  the  intro 
duction.  But  don't  get  jealous,  squire,  if  she 
seems  a  little  too  glad  to  see  me ;  for,  I  assure 
you,  we  had  a  strong  notion  of  each  other  when 
we  were  young." 


12  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"  No  danger,"  replied  the  squire  ;  "  she  hadn't 
seen  me  then,  or  she  never  could  have  loved  such 
a  hard-favored  man  as  you  are." 

In  the  meantime  the  dance  went  on,  and  I 
employed  myself  in  selecting  from  the  party  the 
best  examples  of  the  dancers  of  my  day  and  Mrs. 
Gibson's,  for  her  entertainment.  In  this  I  had 
not  the  least  difficulty  ;  for  the  dancers  before 
me  and  those  of  my  day  were  in  all  respects 
identical. 

Jim  Johnson  kept  up  the  double-shuffle  from 
the  beginning  to  the  end  of  the  reel ;  and  here 
was  Jim  over  again  in  Sammy  Tant.  Bill  Mar 
tin  always  set  to  his  partner  with  the  same  step ; 
and  a  very  curious  step  it  was.  He  brought  his 
right  foot  close  behind  his  left,  and  with  it  per 
formed  precisely  the  motion  of  the  thumb  in 
cracking  that  insect  which  Burns  has  immortal 
ized  ;  then  moved  his  right  back,  threw  his 
weight  upon  it,  brought  his  left  behind  it,  and 
cracked  with  that  as  before  ;  and  so  on  alternate 
ly.  Just  so  did  Bill  Kemp,  to  a  nail.  Bob 
Simons  danced  for  all  the  world  like  a  "  Supple 
Jack  "  (or,  as  we  commonly  call  it,  a  "  Supple 
Saivney  ")  when  the  string  is  pulled  with  varied 
force  at  intervals  of  seconds  ;  and  so  did  Jake 
Slack.  Davy  Moore  went  like  a  suit  of  clothes 
upon  a  clothing-line  on  a  windy  day  ;  and  here 
was  his  antitype  in  Ned  Clark.  Rhoda  Nobles 
swam  through  the  reel  like  a  cork  on  wavy 
waters,  always  giving  two  or  three  pretty  little 
perch  -  bite  diddles  as  she  rose  from  a  coupee. 
Nancy  Ware  was  her  very  self.  Becky  Lewis 


THE   DANCE  13 

made  a  business  of  dancing — she  disposed  of  her 
part  as  quick  as  possible,  stopped  dead  short  as 
soon  as  she  got  through,  and  looked  as  sober  as 
a  judge  all  the  time  ;  even  so  did  Chloe  Dawson. 
I  used  to  tell  Polly  Jackson  that  Becky's  coun 
tenance,  when  she  closed  a  dance,  always  seemed 
to  say,  "Now,  if  you  want  any  more  dancing, 
you  may  do  it  yourself  I" 

The  dance  grew  merrier  as  it  progressed  ;  the 
young  people  became  more  easy  in  each  other's 
company,  and  often  enlivened  the  scene  with 
most  humorous  remarks.  Occasionally  some 
sharp  cuts  passed  between  the  boys,  such  as 
would  have  produced  half  a  dozen  duels  at  a 
city  ball ;  but  here  they  were  taken  as  they  were 
meant,  in  good  humor.  Jim  Johnson  being  a 
little  tardy  in  meeting  his  partner  at  a  turn  of 
the  reel,  "I  ax  pardon,  Miss  Chloe/"  said  he; 
"Jake  Slack  went  to  make  a  cross-hop  just 
now,  and  tied  his  legs  in  a  hard  knot,  and  I 
stopped  to  help  him  untie  them  !"  A  little  af 
ter  Jake  hung  his  toe  in  a  crack  of  the  floor  and 
nearly  fell.  "Ding  my  buttons,"  said  he,  "if  I 
didn't  know  I  should  stumble  over  Jim  Johnson's 
foot  at  last !  Jim,  draw  your  foot  up  to  your  own 
end  of  the  reel!"  (Jim  was  at  the  other  end  of 
the  reel,  and  had,  in  truth,  a  prodigious  foot.) 

Towards  the  middle  of  the  day  many  of  the 
neighboring  farmers  dropped  in,  and  joined  the 
squire  and  myself  in  talking  of  old  times.  At 
length  dinner  was  announced.  It  consisted  of 
plain  fare,  but  there  was  a  profusion  of  it.  Rough 
planks,  supported  by  stakes  driven  in  the  ground, 


14  GEORGIA    SCENES 

served  for  a  table,  at  which  the  old  and  young 
of  both  sexes  seated  themselves  at  the  same 
time.  I  soon  recognized  Mrs.  Gibson  from  all 
the  matrons  present.  Thirty  years  had  wrought 
great  changes  in  her  appearance,  but  they  had 
left  some  of  her  features  entirely  unimpaired. 
Her  eye  beamed  with  all  its  youthful  fire ;  and, 
to  my  astonishment,  her  mouth  was  still  beautified 
with  a  full  set  of  teeth,  unblemished  by  time. 
The  rose  on  her  cheek  had  rather  freshened  than 
faded,  and  her  smile  was  the  very  same  that  first 
subdued  my  heart ;  but  her  fine  form  was  wholly 
lost,  and,  with  it,  all  the  grace  of  her  movements. 
Pleasing  but  melancholy  reflections  occupied  my 
mind  as  I  gazed  on  her  dispensing  her  cheerful 
hospitalities.  I  thought  of  the  sad  history  of 
many  of  her  companions  and  mine,  who  used  to 
carry  light  hearts  through  the  merry  dance.  I 
compared  my  after-life  with  the  cloudless  days 
of  my  attachment  to  Polly.  Then  I  was  light- 
hearted,  gay,  contented,  and  happy.  I  aspired 
to  nothing  but  a  good  name,  a  good  wife,  and  an 
easy  competence.  The  first  and  last  were  mine 
already  ;  and  Polly  had  given  me  too  many  little 
tokens  of  her  favor  to  leave  a  doubt  now  that 
the  second  was  at  my  command.  But  I  was 
foolishly  told  that  my  talents  were  of  too  high 
an  order  to  be  employed  in  the  drudgeries  of  a 
farm,  and  I  more  foolishly  believed  it.  I  for 
sook  the  pleasures  which  I  had  tried  and  proved, 
and  went  in  pursuit  of  those  imaginary  joys 
which  seemed  to  encircle  the  seat  of  Fame. 
From  that  moment  to  the  present  my  life  had 


THE    DANCE  15 

been  little  else  than  one  unbroken  scene  of  dis 
aster,  disappointment,,  vexation,  and  toil.  And 
now,  when  I  was  too  old  to  enjoy  the  pleasures 
which  I  had  discarded,  I  found  that  my  aim 
was  absolutely  hopeless ;  and  that  my  pursuits 
had  only  served  to  unfit  me  for  the  humbler 
walks  of  life,  and  to  exclude  me  from  the  higher. 
The  gloom  of  these  reflections  was,  however, 
lightened  in  a  measure  by  the  promises  of  the 
coming  hour,  when  I  was  to  live  over  again  with 
Mrs.  Gibson  some  of  the  happiest  moments  of 
my  life. 

After  a  hasty  repast  the  young  people  returned 
to  their  amusement,  followed  by  myself,  with 
several  of  the  elders  of  the  company.  An  hour 
had  scarcely  elapsed  before  Mrs.  Gibson  entered, 
accompanied  by  a  goodly  number  of  matrons  of 
her  own  age.  This  accession  to  the  company 
produced  its  usual  effects.  It  raised  the  tone  of 
conversation  a  full  octave,  and  gave  it  a  triple- 
time  movement ;  added  new  life  to  the  wit  and 
limbs  of  the  young  folks,  and  set  the  old  men  to 
cracking  jokes. 

At  length  the  time  arrived  for  me  to  surprise 
and  delight  Mrs.  Gibson.  The  young  folks  in 
sisted  upon  the  old  folks  taking  a  reel,  and  this 
was  just  what  I  had  been  waiting  for  ;  for,  after 
many  plans  for  making  the  discovery,  I  had 
finally  concluded  upon  that  which  I  thought 
would  make  her  joy  general  among  the  com 
pany;  and  that  was,  to  announce  myself,  just 
before  leading  her  to  the  dance,  in  a  voice  audi 
ble  to  most  of  the  assembly.  I  therefore  readily 


16  GEORGIA    SCENES 

assented  to  the  proposition  of  the  young  folks, 
as  did  two  others  of  my  age.,  and  we  made  to  the 
ladies  for  our  partners — I,  of  course,  offered  my 
hand  to  Mrs.  Gibson. 

"  Come/'  said  I,  "  Mrs.  Gibson,  let  us  see  if 
we  can't  outdance  these  young  people." 

"  Dear  me,  sir,"  said  she,  "  I  haven't  danced 
a  step  these  twenty  years." 

"  Neither  have  I ;  but  I've  resolved  to  try 
once  more,  if  you  will  join  me,  just  for  old 
times'  sake." 

"  I  really  cannot  think  of  dancing,"  said  she. 

((  Well,"  continued  I  (raising  my  voice  to  a 
pretty  high  pitch,  on  purpose  to  be  heard,  while 
my  countenance  kindled  with  exultation  at  the 
astonishment  and  delight  which  I  was  about  to 
produce),  "  you  surely  will  dance  with  an  old 
friend  and  sweetheart,  who  used  to  dance  with 
you  when  a  girl !" 

A't  this  disclosure  her  features  assumed  a  vast 
variety  of  expressions  ;  but  none  of  them  re 
sponded  precisely  to  my  expectation ;  indeed, 
some  of  them  were  of  such  an  equivocal  and 
alarming  character  that  I  deemed  it  advisable 
not  to  prolong  her  suspense.  I  therefore  pro 
ceeded  : 

"  Have  you  forgot  your  old  sweetheart,  Abram 
Baldwin  ?" 

"What!"  said  she,  looking  more  astonished 
and  confused  than  ever.  "  Abram  Baldwin  ! 
Abram  Baldwin  !  I  don't  think  I  ever  heard  the 
name  before." 

"Do  you  remember  Jim  Johnson  ?"  said  I. 


THE    DANCE  17 

"  Oh  yes/'  said  she,  "  mighty  well/'  her  coun 
tenance  brightening  with  a  smile. 

"  And  Bill  Martin  ?" 

' '  Yes,  perfectly  well.     Why — w7io  are  you  ?" 

Here  we  were  interrupted  by  one  of  the  gen 
tlemen,  who  had  led  his  partner  to  the  floor, 
with  "  Come,  stranger,  we're  getting  mighty 
tired  o'  standing.  It  Avon't  do  for  old  people 
that's  going  to  dance  to  take  up  much  time  in 
standing  ;  they'll  lose  all  their  spryness.  Don't 
stand  begging  Polly  Gibson,  she  never  dances; 
but  take  my  Sal  there,  next  to  her ;  she'll  run 
a  reel  with  you  to  old  Nick's  house  and  back 
agin." 

No  alternative  was  left  me,  and  therefore  I 
offered  my  hand  to  Mrs.  Sally — I  didn't  know 
who. 

"Well,"  thought  I,  as  I  moved  to  my  place, 
"  the  squire  is  pretty  secure  from  jealousy  ;  but 
Polly  will  soon  remember  me  when  she  sees  my 
steps  in  the  reel.  I  will  dance  precisely  as  I 
used  to  in  my  youth,  if  it  tire  me  to  death. "  . 
There  was  one  step  that  was  almost  exclusively 
my  own,  for  few  of  the  dancers  of  my  day  could 
perform  it  at  all,  and  none  with  the  grace  and 
ease  that  I  did.  "  She'll  remember  Abram  Bald 
win,"  thought  I,  "  as  soon  as  she  sees  the  double, 
cross-liop."  It  was  performed  by  rising  and  cross 
ing  the  legs  twice  or  thrice  before  alighting,  and 
I  used  to  carry  it  to  the  third  cross  with  consid 
erable  ease.  It  was  a  step  solely  adapted  to  set 
ting  or  balancing,  as  all  will  perceive  ;  but  I 
thought  the  occasion  would  justify  a  little  per- 


18  GEORGIA    SCENES 

version  of  it,  and  therefore  resolved  to  lead  off 
with  it,  that  Polly  might  be  at  once  relieved 
from  suspense.  Just,  however,  as  I  reached  my 
place,  Mrs.  Gibson's  youngest  son,  a  boy  about 
eight  years  old,  ran  in  and  cried  out,  "  Mammy, 
old  Boler's  jumped  upon  the  planks,  and  dragged 
off  a  great  hunk  o'  meat  as  big  as  your  head,  and 
broke  a  dish  and  two  plates  all  to  darn  smashes  !" 
Away  went  Mrs.  Gibson,  and  off  went  the  music. 
Still  I  hoped  that  matters  would  be  adjusted  in 
time  for  Polly  to  return  and  see  the  double  cross- 
hop  ;  and  I  felt  the  mortification  which  my  de 
lay  in  getting  a  partner  had  occasioned  some 
what  solaced  by  the  reflection  that  it  had  thrown 
me  at  the  foot  of  the  reel. 

The  first  and  second  couples  had  nearly  com 
pleted  their  performances,  and  Polly  had  not 
returned.  I  began  to  grow  uneasy,  and  to  in 
terpose  as  many  delays  as  I  could  without  attract 
ing  notice. 

The  six  reel  is  closed  by  the  foot  couple 
balancing  at  the  head  of  the  set,  then  in  the 
middle,  then  at  the  foot,  again  in  the  middle, 
meeting  at  the  head,  and  leading  down. 

My  partner  and  I  had  commenced  balancing 
at  the  head,  and  Polly  had  not  returned.  I 
balanced  until  my  partner  forced  me  on.  I  now 
deemed  it  advisable  to  give  myself  up  wholly  to 
the  double  cross -hop;  so  that  if  Polly  should 
return  in  time  to  see  any  step  it  should  be  this, 
though  I  was  already  nearly  exhausted.  Ac 
cordingly,  I  made  the  attempt  to  introduce  it  in 
the  turns  of  the  reel;  but  the  first  experiment 


THE    DANCE  19 

\ 

convinced  me  of  three  things  at  once — first, 
that  I  could  not  have  used  the  step  in  this  way  in 
my  best  days ;  second,  that  my  strength  would 
not  more  than  support  it  in  its  proper  place  for 
the  remainder  of  the  reel ;  and,  third,  if  I  tried 
it  again  in  this  way  I  should  knock  my  brains 
out  against  the  puncheons  ;  for  my  partner,  who 
seemed  determined  to  confirm  her  husband's  re 
port  of  her,  evinced  110  disposition  to  wait  upon 
experiments,  but,  fetching  me  a  jerk  while  I 
was  up  and  my  legs  crossed,  had  wellnigh  sent 
me  head  foremost  to  Old  Nick's  house,  sure 
enough. 

We  met  in  the  middle,  my  back  to  the  door, 
and  from  the  silence  that  prevailed  in  the  yard 
I  flattered  myself  that  Polly  might  be  even  now 
catching  the  first  glimpse  of  the  favorite  step, 
when  I  heard  her  voice  at  some  distance  from 
the  house  :  "  Get  you  gone  !  G-e-e-e-t  you  gone  ! 
G-e-e-e-e-e-t  you  gone  I"  Matters  outdoors 
were  now  clearly  explained.  There  had  been  a 
struggle  to  get  the  meat  from  Boler  ;  Boler  had 
triumphed,  and  retreated  to  the  woods  with  his 
booty,  and  Mrs.  Gibson  was  heaping  indignities 
upon  him  in  the  last  resort. 

The  three  "  Get-you-gones"  met  me  precise 
ly  at  the  three  closing  balances  ;  and  the  last 
brought  my  moral  energies  to  a  perfect  level 
with  my  physical. 

Mrs.  Gibson  returned,  however,  a  few  min 
utes  after,  in  a  good  humor;  for  she  possessed 
a  lovely  disposition,  which  even  marriage  could 
not  spoil.  As  soon  as  I  could  collect  breath 


20  GEORGIA    SCENES 

enough  for  regular  conversation  (for,  to  speak 
in  my  native  dialect,  I  was  "mortal  tired"),  I 
took  a  seat  by  her,  resolved  not  to  quit  the  house 
without  making  myself  known  to  her,  if  pos 
sible. 

"How  much/'  said  I,  "  your  Polly  looks  and 
dances  like  you  used  to  at  her  age  !" 

(t  I've  told  my  old  man  so  a  hundred  times/' 
said  she.  "  Why,  who  upon  earth  are  you  ?" 

"Did  you  ever  see  two  persons  dance  more 
alike  than  Jim  Johnson  and  Sammy  Tant  ?" 

"Never.     Why,  who  can  you  be?" 

"You  remember  Becky  Lewis  ?" 

"Yes." 

"Well,  look  at  Chloe  Dawson,  and  you'll  see 
her  over  again." 

"Well,  law  me!  Now  I  know  I  must  have 
seen  you  somewhere ;  but,  to  save  my  life, 
I  can't  tell  where !  Where  did  your  father 
live  ?" 

"He  died  when  I  was  small." 

"  And  where  did  you  use  to  see  me  ?" 

"  At  your  father's,  and  old  Mr.  Dawson's,  and 
at  Mrs.  Barnes's,  and  at  Squire  Noble's,  and 
many  other  places." 

"  Well,  goodness  me  !  it's  mighty  strange  I 
can't  call  you  to  mind  !" 

I  now  began  to  get  petulant,  and  thought  it 
best  to  leave  her. 

The  dance  wound  up  with  the  old  merry  jig, 
and  the  company  dispersed. 

The  next  day  I  set  out  for  my  residence.  I 
had  been  at  home  rather  more  than  two  months 


THE    DANCE  21 

when  I  received  the  following  letter  from  Squire 
Gibson  : 

"DEAR  SIR, — I  send  you  the  money  collected  on  the 
notes  you  left  with  me.  Since  you  left  here,  Polly  has 
heen  thinking  about  old  times,  and  she  says,  to  save  her 
life,  she  can't  recollect  you." 

BALDWIN. 


THE    HORSE-SWAP 

DURING  the  session  of  the  Supreme  Court  in 
the  village  of  -  — ,  about  three  weeks  ago,  when 
a  number  of  people  were  collected  in  the  princi 
pal  street  of  the  village,,  I  observed  a  young  man 
riding  up  and  down  the  street,  as  I  supposed,  in 
a  violent  passion.  He  galloped  this  way,  then 
that,  and  then  the  other ;  spurred  his  horse  to 
one  group  of  citizens,  then  to  another ;  then 
dashed  off  at  half- speed,  as  if  fleeing  from  dan 
ger  ;  and,  suddenly  checking  his  horse,  returned 
first  in  a  pace,  then  in  a  trot,  and  then  in  a  can 
ter.  While  he  was  performing  these  various 
evolutions  he  cursed,  swore,  whooped,  screamed, 
and  tossed  himself  in  every  attitude  which  man 
could  assume  on  horseback.  In  short,  he  cavort 
ed  most  magnanimously  (a  term  which,  in  our 
tongue,  expresses  all  that  I  have  described,  and 
a  little  more),  and  seemed  to  be  setting  all  crea 
tion  at  defiance.  As  I  like  to  see  all  that  is 
passing,  I  determined  to  take  a  position  a  little 
nearer  to  him,  and  to  ascertain,  if  possible,  what 
it  was  that  affected  him  so  sensibly.  According 
ly  I  approached  a  crowd  before  which  he  had 
stopped  for  a  moment,  and  examined  it  with  the 
strictest  scrutiny.  But  I  could  see  nothing  in  it 


THE   HORSE-SWAP 


that  seemed  to  have  anything  to  do  with  the  ca- 
vorter.  Every  man  appeared  to  be  in  good  hu 
mor,  and  all  minding  their  own  business.  Not 
one  so  much  as  noticed  the  principal  figure. 
Still  he  went  on.  After  a  semicolon  pause, 
which  my  appearance  seemed  to  produce  (for  he 
eyed  me  closely  as  I  approached),  he  fetched  a 
whoop,  and  swore  that  "he  could  out-swap  any 
live  man,  woman,  or  child  that  ever  walked  these 
hills,  or  that  ever  straddled  horseflesh  since  the 
days  of  old  daddy  Adam.  Stranger,"  said  he  to 
me,  "did  you  ever  see  the  Yallow  Blossom  from 
Jasper  ?" 

"No,"  said  I,  "but  I  have  often  heard  of 
him." 

"Fm  the  boy,"  continued  he  ;  "perhaps  a  lee- 
tie,  jist  a  leetle,  of  the  best  man  at  a  horse-swap 
that  ever  trod  shoe-leather." 

I  began  to  feel  my  situation  a  little  awkward, 
when  I  was  relieved  by  a  man  somewhat  ad 
vanced  in  years,  who  stepped  up  and  began  to 
survey  the  Yellow  Blossom's  horse  with  much 
apparent  interest.  This  drew  the  rider's  atten 
tion,  and  he  turned  the  conversation  from  me  to 
the  stranger. 

"Well,  my  old  coon,"  said  he,  "do  you  want 
to  swap  hosses  9" 

"  Why,  I  don't  know,"  replied  the  stranger  ; 
"I  believe  I've  got  a  beast  I'd  trade  with  you 
for  that  one,  if  you  like  him." 

"Well,  fetch  up  your  nag,  my  old  cock; 
you're  jist  the  lark  I  wanted  to  get  hold  of.  I 
am  perhaps  a  leetle,  jist  a  leetle,  of  the  best  man 


24  GEORGIA   SCENES 

at  a  horse-swap  that  ever  stole  craMins  out  of 
his  mammy's  fat  gourd.  Where's  your  hossf 

"I'll  bring  him  presently;  but  I  want  to  ex 
amine  your  horse  a  little." 

"Oh,  look  at  him/'  said  the  Blossom,  alight 
ing  and  hitting  him  a  cut — "look  at  him  !  He's 
the  best  piece  of  Aossflesh  in  the  thirteen  united 
univarsal  worlds.  There's  no  sort  o'  mistake  in 
little  Bullet.  He  can  pick  up  miles  on  his  feet, 
and  fling  'em  behind  him  as  fast  as  the  next 
man's  Jioss,  I  don't  care  where  he  comes  from. 
And  he  can  keep  at  it  as  long  as  the  sun  can 
shine  without  resting." 

During  this  harangue  little  Bullet  looked  as 
if  he  understood  it  all,  believed  it,  and  was 
ready  at  any  moment  to  verify  it.  He  was  a 
horse  of  goodly  countenance,  rather  expressive 
of  vigilance  than  fire ;  though  an  unnatural  ap 
pearance  of  fierceness  was  thrown  into  it  by  the 
loss  of  his  ears,  which  had  been  cropped  pretty 
close  to  his  head.  Nature  had  done  but  little 
for  Bullet's  head  and  neck  ;  but  he  managed,  in 
a  great  measure,  to  hide  their  defects  by  bowing 
perpetually.  He  had  obviously  suffered  severe 
ly  for  corn  ;  but  if  his  ribs  and  hip-bones  had 
not  disclosed  the  fact,  lie  never  would  have  done 
it ;  for  he  was  in  all  respects  as  cheerful  and 
happy  as  if  he  commanded  all  the  corn-cribs  and 
fodder-stacks  in  Georgia.  His  height  was  about 
twelve  hands  ;  but  as  his  shape  partook  some 
what  of  that  of  the  giraffe,  his  haunches  stood 
much  lower.  They  were  short,  strait,  peaked, 
and  concave.  Bullet's  tail,  however,  made 


THE    HORSE-SWAP 


25 


amends  for  all  his  defects.  All  that  the  artist 
could  do  to  beautify  it  had  been  done ;  and  all 
that  horse  could  do  to  compliment  the  artist, 
Bullet  did.  His  tail  was  nicked  in  superior 
style,  and  exhibited  the  line  of  beauty  in  so 
many  directions  that  it  could  not  fail  to  hit  the 
most  fastidious  taste  in  some  of  them.  From 


BLOSSOM  AND  HIS  HORSE  BULLET 

the  root  it  dropped  into  a  graceful  festoon, 
then  rose  in  a  handsome  curve,  then  resumed 
its  first  direction,  and  then  mounted  suddenly 
upward  like  a  cypress  knee  to  a  perpendicular 
of  about  two  and  a  half  inches.  The  whole  had 
a  careless  and  bewitching  inclination  to  the 


26  GEORGIA.    SCENES 

right.  Bullet  obviously  knew  where  his  beauty 
lay,  and  took  all  occasions  to  display  it  to  the 
best  advantage.  If  a  stick  cracked,  or  if  any 
one  moved  suddenly  about  him,  or  coughed,  or 
hawked,  or  spoke  a  little  louder  than  common, 
up  went  Bullet's  tail  like  lightning ;  and  if  the 
going  up  did  not  please,  the  coming  down  must 
of  necessity,  for  it  was  as  different  from  the 
other  movement  as  was  its  direction.  The  first 
was  a  bold  and  rapid  flight  upward,  usually  to 
an  angle  of  forty-five  degrees.  In  this  position 
he  kept  his  interesting  appendage  until  he  satis 
fied  himself  that  nothing  in  particular  was  to  be 
done  ;  when  he  commenced  dropping  it  by  half 
inches,  in  second  beats,  then  in  triple  time,  then 
faster  and  shorter,  and  faster  and  shorter  still, 
until  it  finally  died  away  imperceptibly  into  its 
natural  position.  If  I  might  compare  sights  to 
sounds,  I  should  say  its  settling  was  more  like 
the  note  of  a  locust  than  anything  else  in  nature. 

Either  from  native  sprightliness  of  disposition, 
from  uncontrollable  activity,  or  from  an  uncon 
querable  habit  of  removing  flies  by  the  stamping 
of  the  feet,  Bullet  never  stood  still,  but  always 
kept  up  a  gentle  fly-scaring  movement  of  his 
limbs,  which  was  peculiarly  interesting. 

"I  tell  you,  man,"  proceeded  the  Yellow  Blos 
som,  "he's  the  best  live  hoss  that  ever  trod  the 
grit  of  Georgia.  Bob  Smart  knows  the  hoss. 
Gome  here,  Bob,  and  mount  this  hoss,  and  show 
Bullet's  motions."  Here  Bullet  bristled  up,  and 
looked  as  if  he  had  been  hunting  for  Bob  all  day 
long,  and  had  just  found  him.  Bob  sprang  on  his 


THE    HOUSE  SWAP  27 

back.  "  Boo-oo-oo  !"  said  Bob,  with  a  fluttering 
noise  of  the  lips,  and  away  went  Bullet  as  if  in 
a  quarter  race,  with  all  his  beauties  spread  in 
handsome  style. 

"Now  fetch  him  back/'  said  Blossom.  Bul 
let  turned  and  came  in  pretty  much  as  he  went 
out. 

"Now  trot  him  by."  Bullet  reduced  his  tail 
to  customary,  sidled  to  the  right  and  left  air 
ily,  and  exhibited  at  least  three  varieties  of  trot 
in  the  short  space  of  fifty  yards. 

"Make  him  pace  I"  Bob  commenced  twitch 
ing  the  bridle  and  kicking  at  the  same  time. 
These  inconsistent  movements  obviously  (and 
most  naturally)  disconcerted  Bullet  ;  for  it  was 
impossible  for  him  to  learn  from  them  whether 
he  was  to  proceed  or  stand  still.  He  started  to 
trot,  and  was  told  that  wouldn't  do.  He  at 
tempted  a  canter,  and  was  checked  again.  He 
stopped,  and  was  urged  to  go  on.  Bullet  now 
rushed  into  the  wide  field  of  experiment,  and 
struck  out  a  gait  of  his  own  that  completely 
turned  the  tables  upon  his  rider,  and  certainly 
deserved  a  patent.  It  seemed  to  have  derived 
its  elements  from  the  jig,  the  minuet,  and  the  co 
tillon.  If  it  was  not  a  pace,  it  certainly  had  pace 
in  it,  and  no  man  would  venture  to  call  it  any 
thing  else ;  so  it  passed  off  to  the  satisfaction  of 
the  owner. 

"  Walk  him  !"  Bullet  was  now  at  home  again, 
and  he  walked  as  if  money  were  staked  on  him. 

The  stranger,  whose  name  I  afterwards  learned 
was  Peter  Ketch,  having  examined  Bullet  to  his 


28  GEORGIA    SCENES 

heart's  content,  ordered  his  son  Neddy  to  go  and 
bring  up  Kit.  Neddy  soon  appeared  upon  Kit, 
a  well-formed  sorrel  of  the  middle  size,  and  in 
good  order.  His  tout-ensemble  threw  Bullet  en 
tirely  in  the  shade,  though  a  glance  was  sufficient 
to  satisfy  any  one  that  Bullet  had  the  decided 
advantage  of  him  in  point  of  intellect. 

"Why,  man,"  said  Blossom,  "do  you  bring 
such  a  hoss  as  that  to  trade  for  Bullet  ?  Oh,  I 
see,  you've  no  notion  of  trading  !" 

"  Ride  him  off,  Neddy  !"  said  Peter.  Kit  put 
off  at  a  handsome  lope. 

"  Trot  him  back  !"  Kit  came  in  at  a  long, 
sweeping  trot,  and  stopped  suddenly  at  the 
crowd. 

"Well,"  said  Blossom,  "let  me  look  at  him; 
maybe  he'll  do  to  plough." 

"Examine  him,"  said  Peter,  taking  hold  of 
the  bridle  close  to  the  mouth ;  "  he's  nothing  but 
a  tacky.  He  ain't  as  pretty  a  horse  as  Bullet,  I 
know,  but  he'll  do.  Start  'em  together  for  a 
hundred  and  fifty  mile,  and  if  Kit  ain't  twenty 
mile  ahead  of  him  at  the  coming  out,  any  man 
may  take  Kit  for  nothing.  But  he's  a  monstrous 
mean  horse,  gentlemen ;  any  man  may  see  that. 
He's  the  scariest  horse,  too,  you  ever  saw.  He 
won't  do  to  hunt  on,  nohow.  Stranger,  will  you 
let  Neddy  have  your  rifle  to  shoot  off  him  ?  Lay 
the  rifle  between  his  ears,  Neddy,  and  shoot  at 
the  blaze  in  that  stump.  Tell  me  when  his  head 
is  high  enough." 

Ned  fired  and  hit  the  blaze,  and  Kit  did  not 
move  a  hair's-breadth. 


THE    HORSE- SWAP  29 

"  Neddy,  take  a  couple  of  sticks,  and  beat  on 
that  hogshead  at  Kit's  tail." 

Ned  made  a  tremendous  rattling,  at  which 
Bullet  took  fright,  broke  his  bridle,  and  dashed 
off  in  grand  style,  and  would  have  stopped  all 
further  negotiations  by  going  home  in  disgust, 
had  not  a  traveller  arrested  him  and  brought  him 
back  ;  but  Kit  did  not  move. 

"I  tell  you,  gentlemen,"  continued  Peter, 
"he's  the  scariest  horse  you  ever  saw.  He  ain't 
as  gentle  as  Bullet,  but  he  won't  do  any  harm  if 
you  watch  him.  Shall  I  put  him  in  a  cart,  gig, 
or  wagon  for  you,  stranger  ?  He'll  cut  the  same 
capers  there  he  does  here.  He's  a  monstrous 
mean  horse." 

During  all  this  time  Blossom  was  examining 
him  with  the  nicest  scrutiny.  Having  examined 
his  frame  and  limbs,  he  now  looked  at  his  eyes. 

"  He's  got  a  curious  look  out  of  his  eyes,"  said 
Blossom. 

"Oh  yes,  sir,"  said  Peter,  "just  as  blind  as  a 
bat.  Blind  horses  always  have  clear  eyes.  Make 
a  motion  at  his  eyes,  if  you  please,  sir." 

Blossom  did  so,  and  Kit  threw  up  his  head 
rather  as  if  something  pricked  him  under  the 
chin  than  as  if  fearing  a  blow.  Blossom  repeat 
ed  the  experiment,  and  Kit  jerked  back  in  con 
siderable  astonishment. 

"  Stone-blind,  you  see,  gentlemen,"  proceeded 
Peter ;  "but  he's  just  as  good  to  travel  of  a  dark 
night  as  if  he  had  eyes." 

"Blame  my  buttons,"  said  Blossom,  "if  I  like 
them  eyes  !" 


30  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"No,"  said  Peter,  "nor  I  neither.  Fd  rather 
have  'em  made  of  diamonds  ;  but  they'll  do — if 
they  don't  show  as  much  white  as  Bullet's." 

"Well,"  said  Blossom,  "make  a  pass  at  me." 

"No,"  said  Peter,  "you  made  the  banter,  now 
make  your  pass." 

"Well,  I'm  never  afraid  to  price  my  bosses. 
You  must  give  me  twenty-five  dollars  boot." 

"Oh,  certainly;  say  fifty,  and  my  saddle  and 
bridle  in.  Here,  Neddy,  my  son,  take  away  dad 
dy's  horse." 

"Well,"  said  Blossom,  "I've  made  my  pass, 
now  you  make  yours." 

"I'm  for  short  talk  in  a  horse-swap,  and  there 
fore  always  tell  a  gentleman  at  once  what  I  mean 
to  do.  You  must  give  me  ten  dollars." 

Blossom  swore  absolutely,  roundly,  and  pro 
fanely  that  he  never  would  give  boot. 

"  Well,"  said  Peter,  "  I  didn't  care  about  trad 
ing  ;  but  you  cut  such  high  shines  that  I  thought 
I'd  like  to  back  you  out,  and  I've  done  it.  Gen 
tlemen,  you  see  I've  brought  him  to  a  hack." 

"Come,  old  man,"  said  Blossom,  "I've  been 
joking  with  you.  I  begin  to  think  you  do  want 
to  trade ;  therefore,  give  me  five  dollars  and  take 
Bullet.  I'd  rather  lose  ten  dollars  any  time  than 
not  make  a  trade,  though  I  hate  to  fling  away  a 
good  hoss." 

"Well,"  said  Peter,  "I'll  be  as  clever  as  you 
are.  Just  put  the  five  dollars  on  Bullet's  back, 
and  hand  him  over  ;  it's  a  trade." 

Blossom  swore  again,  as  roundly  as  before,  that 
he  would  not  give  boot;  and,  said  he,  "Bullet 


THE    HORSE-SWAP  31 

wouldn't  hold  five  dollars  on  his  back,  nohow. 
But,  as  I  bantered  you,  if  you  say  an  even  swap, 
here's  at  you." 

"I  told  you/'  said  Peter,  "Fd  be  as  clever  as 
you  ;  therefore,  here  goes  two  dollars  more,  just 
for  trade  sake.  Give  me  three  dollars,  and  it's  a 
bargain." 

Blossom  repeated  his  former  assertion  ;  and 
here  the  parties  stood  for  a  long  time,  and  the 
by-standers  (for  many  were  now  collected)  began 
to  taunt  both  parties.  After  some  time,  however, 
it  was  pretty  unanimously  decided  that  the  old 
man  had  backed  Blossom  out. 

At  length  Blossom  swore  he  "  never  would  be 
backed  out  for  three  dollars  after  bantering  a 
man"  ;  and,  accordingly,  they  closed  the  trade. 

"Now,"  said  Blossom,  as  he  handed  Peter  the 
three  dollars,  "Fm  a  man  that,  when  he  makes 
a  bad  trade,  makes  the  most  of  it  until  he  can 
make  a  better.  Fm  for  no  rues  and  after-claps." 

"That's  just  my  way,"  said  Peter;  "I  never 
goes  to  law  to  mend  my  bargains." 

"Ah,  you're  the  kind  of  boy  I  love  to  trade 
with.  Here's  your  hoss,  old  man.  Take  the  sad 
dle  and  bridle  off  him,  and  Fll  strip  yours  ;  but 
lift  up  the  blanket  easy  from  Bullet's  back,  for 
he's  a  mighty  tender-backed  hoss." 

The  old  man  removed  the  saddle,  but  the 
blanket  stuck  fast.  He  attempted  to  raise  it,  and 
Bullet  bowed  himself,  switched  his  tail,  danced  a 
little,  and  gave  signs  of  biting. 

"Don't  hurt  him,  old  man,"  said  Blossom, 
archly  ;  "  take  it  off  easy.  I  am,  perhaps,  a  leetle 


32  GEORGIA    SCENES 

of  the  best  man  at  a  horse-swap  that  ever  catched 
a  coon/7 

Peter  continued  to  pull  at  the  blanket  more 
and  more  roughly,  and  Bullet  became  more  and 
more  cavortish,  insomuch  that,  when  the  blanket 
came  off,  he  had  reached  the  kicking  point  in 
good  earnest. 

The  removal  of  the  blanket  disclosed  a  sore  on 
Bullet's  backbone  that  seemed  to  have  defied  all 
medical  skill.  It  measured  six  full  inches  in 
length  and  four  in  breadth,  and  had  as  many 
features  as  Bullet  had  motions.  My  heart  sick 
ened  at  the  sight ;  and  I  felt  that  the  brute  who 
had  been  riding  him  in  that  situation  deserved 
the  halter. 

The  prevailing  feeling,  however,  was  that  of 
mirth.  The  laugh  became  loud  and  general  at 
the  old  man's  expense,  and  rustic  witticisms  were 
liberally  bestowed  upon  him  and  his  late  pur 
chase.  These  Blossom  continued  to  provoke  by 
various  remarks.  He  asked  the  old  man  "if  he 
thought  Bullet  would  let  five  dollars  lie  on  his 
back."  He  declared  most  seriously  that  he  had 
owned  that  horse  three  months,  and  had  never 
discovered  before  that  he  had  a  sore  back,  "or 
he  never  should  have  thought  of  trading  him," 
etc.,  etc. 

The  old  man  bore  it  all  with  the  most  philo 
sophic  composure.  He  evinced  no  astonishment 
at  his  late  discovery,  and  made  no  replies.  But 
his  son  Neddy  had  not  disciplined  his  feelings 
quite  so  well.  His  eyes  opened  wider  and  wider 
from  the  first  to  the  last  pull  of  the  blanket,  and 


THE    HOUSE-SWAP  83 

when  the  whole  sore  burst  upon  his  view,  aston 
ishment  and  fright  seemed  to  contend  for  the 
mastery  of  his  countenance.  As  the  blanket 
disappeared,  he  stuck  his  hands  in  his  breeches 
pockets,  heaved  a  deep  sigh,  and  lapsed  into  a 
profound  reverie,  from  which  he  was  only  roused 
by  the  cuts  at  his  father.  He  bore  them  as  long 
as  he  could  ;  and,  when  he  could  contain  himself 
no  longer,  he  began,  with  a  certain  wildness  of 
expression  which  gave  a  peculiar  interest  to  what 
he  uttered  :  "  His  back's  mighty  bad  off ;  but  dod 
drot  my  soul  if  he's  put  it  to  daddy  as  bad  as  he 
thinks  he  has,  for  old  Kit's  both  blind  and  deef, 
I'll  be  dod  drot  if  he  ein't  !" 

''The  devil  he  is  \"  said  Blossom. 

"  Yes,  dod  drot  my  soul  if  he  ein't!  You  walk 
him,  and  see  if  he  ein't.  His  eyes  don't  look 
like  it ;  but  he'd  jist  as  leve  go  agin  the  house 
with  you,  or  in  a  ditch,  as  anyhow.  Now  you 
go  try  him."  The  laugh  was  now  turned  on 
Blossom,  and  many  rushed  to  test  the  fidelity 
of  the  little  boy's  report.  A  few  experiments 
established  its  truth  beyond  controversy. 

"  Neddy,"  said  the  old  man,  "  you  oughtn't  to 
try  and  make  people  discontented  with  their 
things.  Stranger,  don't  mind  what  the  little  boy 
says.  If  you  can  only  get  Kit  rid  of  them  little 
failings  you'll  find  him  all  sorts  of  a  horse.  You 
are  a  leetle  the  best  man  at  a  horse-swap  that  ever 
I  got  hold  of  ;  but  don't  fool  away  Kit.  Come, 
Neddy,  my  son,  let's  be  moving ;  the  stranger 
seems  to  be  getting  snappish." 

»  HALL. 


THE  CHARACTER  OF  A  NATIVE  GEORGIAN 

THERE  are  some  yet  living  who  knew  the  man 
whose  character  I  am  about  to  delineate,  and 
these  will  unanimously  bear  testimony  that,  if 
it  be  not  faithfully  drawn,  it  is  not  overdrawn. 
They  cannot  avouch  for  the  truth  of  the  anec 
dotes  which  I  am  about  to  relate  of  him,  because 
of  these  they  know  nothing ;  but  they  will  un 
hesitatingly  declare  that  there  is  nothing  herein 
ascribed  to  him  of  which  he  was  incapable,  and  of 
which  he  would  not  readily  have  been  the  author, 
supposing  the  scenes  in  which  I  have  placed  him 
to  be  real,  and  the  thoughts  and  actions  attrib 
uted  to  him  to  have  actually  suggested  them 
selves  to  him.  They  will  further  testify  that 
the  thoughts  and  actions  are  in  perfect  harmony 
with  his  general  character. 

I  do  not  feel  at  liberty  as  yet  to  give  the  name 
of  the  person  in  question,  and  therefore  he  shall 
be  designated  for  the  present  by  the  appellation 
of  Ned  Brace. 

This  man  seemed  to  live  only  to  amuse  himself 
with  his  fellow-beings,  and  he  possessed  the  rare 
faculty  of  deriving  some  gratification  of  his  favor 
ite  propensity  from  almost  every  person  whom 
he  met,  no  matter  what  his  temper,  standing,  or 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A   NATIVE    GEORGIAN  35 

disposition.  Of  course  he  had  opportunities 
enough  of  exercising  his  uncommon  gift,  and  he 
rarely  suffered  an  opportunity  to  pass  unim 
proved.  The  beau  in  the  presence  of  his  mis 
tress,,  the  fop,  the  pedant,  the  purse-proud,  the 
over-fastidious  and  sensitive,  were  Ned's  favor 
ite  game.  These  never  passed  him  uninjured, 
and  against  such  he  directed  his  severest  shafts. 
With  these  he  commonly  amused  himself,  by 
exciting  in  them  every  variety  of  emotion,  under 
circumstances  peculiarly  ridiculous.  He  was  ad 
mirably  fitted  to  his  vocation.  He  could  assume 
any  character  which  his  humor  required  him  to 
personate,  and  he  could  sustain  it  to  perfection. 
His  knowledge  of  the  character  of  others  seemed 
to  be  intuitive. 

It  may  seem  remarkable,  but  it  is  true,  that, 
though  he  lived  his  own  peculiar  life  for  about 
sixteen  years,  after  he  reached  the  age  of  man 
hood  he  never  involved  himself  in  a  personal  ren 
counter  with  any  one.  This  was  owing  in  part 
to  his  muscular  frame,  which  few  would  be  will 
ing  to  engage,  but  more  particularly  to  his  adroit 
ness  in  the  management  of  his  projects  of  fun. 
He  generally  conducted  them  in  such  a  way  as 
to  render  it  impossible  for  any  one  to  call  him  to 
account  without  violating  all  the  rules  of  decen 
cy,  politeness,  and  chivalry  at  once.  But  a  few 
anecdotes  of  him  will  give  the  reader  a  much 
better  idea  of  his  character  than  he  can  possibly 
derive  from  a  general  description.  If  these  fulfil 
the  description  which  I  have  given  of  my  hero, 
all  will  agree  that  he  is  no  imaginary  being ;  if 


36  GEORGIA    SCENES 

they  do  not,  it  will  only  be  because  I  am  unfort 
unate  in  my  selection.  Having  known  him  from 
his  earliest  manhood  to  his  grave — for  he  was  a 
native  Georgian  —  I  confess  that  I  am  greatly 
perplexed  in  determining  what  portions  of  his 
singular  history  to  lay  before  the  reader  as  a 
proper  specimen  of  the  whole.  A  three  days' 
visit  which  I  once  made  with  him  to  Savannah 
placed  him  in  a  greater  variety  of  scenes  and 
among  a  greater  diversity  of  characters  than  per 
haps  any  other  period  of  his  life  embracing  no 
longer  time  ;  and,  therefore,  I  will  choose  this 
for  my  purpose. 

We  reached  Savannah  just  at  nightfall  of  a 
cold  December  evening.  As  we  approached  the 
tavern  of  Mr.  Blank,  at  which  we  designed  to 
stop,  Ned  proposed  to  me  that  we  should  drop 
our  acquaintance  until  he  should  choose  to  renew 
it.  To  this  proposition  I  most  cordially  assent 
ed,  for  I  knew  that,  so  doing,  I  should  be  saved 
some  mortifications,  and  avoid  a  thousand  ques 
tions  which  I  would  not  know  how  to  answer. 
According  to  this  understanding,  Ned  lingered 
behind  in  order  that  I  might  reach  the  tavern 
alone. 

On  alighting  at  the  public-house  I  was  led  into 
a  large  dining-room,  at  the  entrance  of  which,  to 
the  right,  stood  the  bar,  opening  into  the  dining- 
room.  On  the  left,  and  rather  nearer  to  the  cen 
tre  of  the  room,  was  a  fireplace,  surrounded  by 
gentlemen.  Upon  entering  the  room  my  name 
was  demanded  at  the  bar  ;  it  was  given,  and  1 
took  my  seat  in  the  circle  around  the  fire.  I  had 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  37 

been  seated  just  long  enough  for  the  company  to 
survey  me  to  their  satisfaction  and  resume  their 
conversation,  when  Ned's  heavy  footstep  at  the 
door  turned  the  eyes  of  the  company  to  the  ap 
proaching  stranger. 

"  Your  name,  sir,  if  you  please  ?"  said  the  rest 
less  little  barkeeper,  as  he  entered. 

Ned  stared  at  the  question  with  apparent 
alarm,  cast  a  fearful  glance  at  the  company, 
frowned,  and  shook  his  head  in  token  of  caution 
to  the  barkeeper  ;  looked  confused  for  a  moment, 
then,  as  if  suddenly  recollecting  himself,  jerked 
a  piece  of  paper  out  of  his  pocket,  turned  from 
the  company,  wrote  on  it  with  his  pencil,  handed 
it  to  the  barkeeper,  walked  to  the  left  of  the  fire 
place,  and  took  the  most  conspicuous  seat  in  the 
circle.  He  looked  at  no  one,  spoke  to  no  one, 
but,  fixing  his  eyes  on  the  fire,  lapsed  into  a  pro 
found  reverie. 

The  conversation,  which  had  been  pretty  gen 
eral  before,  stopped  as  short  as  if  every  man  in 
the  room  had  been  shot  dead.  Every  eye  was 
fixed  on  Ned,  and  every  variety  of  expression 
was  to  be  seen  on  the  countenances  of  the  per 
sons  present.  The  landlord  came  in ;  the  bar 
keeper  whispered  to  him  and  looked  at  Ned. 
The  landlord  looked  at  him  too  with  astonish 
ment  and  alarm  ;  the  barkeeper  produced  a  piece 
of  paper,  and  both  of  them  examined  it,  as  if 
searching  for  fig-mite  with  the  naked  eye.  They 
rose  from  the  examination  unsatisfied,  and  looked 
at  Ned  again.  Those  of  the  company  who  recov 
ered  first  from  their  astonishment  tried  to  revive 


38  GEORGIA    SCENES 

the  conversation,  but  the  effort  was  awkward,  met 
with  no  support,  and  failed.  The  barkeeper,  for 
the  first  time  in  his  life,  became  dignified  and 
solemn,  and  left  the  bar  to  take  care  of  itself. 
The  landlord  had  a  world  of  foolish  questions  to 
ask  the  gentlemen  directly  opposite  to  Ned,  for 
which  purpose  he  passed  round  to  them  every  two 
minutes,  and  the  answer  to  none  did  he  hear. 

Three  or  four  boarders  coming  in,  who  were 
unapprised  of  what  had  happened,  at  length  re 
vived  the  conversation  ;  not,  however,  until  they 
had  created  some  confusion  by  inquiring  of  their 
friends  the  cause  of  their  sober  looks.  As  soon 
as  the  conversation  began  to  become  easy  and 
natural  Ned  rose  and  walked  out  into  the  entry. 
With  the  first  movement  all  were  as  hushed  as 
death,  but  when  he  had  cleared  the  door  an 
other  Babel  scene  ensued.  Some  inquired, 
others  suspected,  and  all  wondered.  Some  were 
engaged  in  telling  the  strangers  what  had  hap 
pened,  others  were  making  towards  the  bar,  and 
all  were  becoming  clamorous,  when  Ned  re 
turned  and  took  his  seat.  His  re-entry  was  as 
fatal  to  conversation  as  was  the  first  movement 
of  his  exit  ;  but  it  soon  recovered  from  the 
shock,  with  the  difference,  however,  that  those 
who  led  before  were  now  mute,  and  wholly  ab 
sorbed  in  the  contemplation  of  Ned's  person. 

After  retaining  his  seat  for  about  ten  minutes, 
Ned  rose  again,  inquired  the  way  to  the  stable, 
and  left  the  house.  As  soon  as  he  passed  the 
outer  door,  the  barkeeper  hastened  to  the  com 
pany  with  Ned's  paper  in  his  hand.  "  Gentle- 


THE  CHARACTER  OP  A  NATIVE  GEORGIAN     39 

men,"  said  he,  "  can  any  of  yon  tell  me  what 
name  this  is  ?"  All  rushed  to  the  paper  in  an 
instant ;  one  or  two  pair  of  heads  met  over  it 
with  considerable  force.  After  pondering  over 
it  to  their  heart's  content,  they  all  agreed  that 
the  first  letter  was  an  "  E,"  and  the  second  a 
"  B"  or  an  "  R,"  and  the  d — 1  himself  could  not 
make  out  the  balance.  While  they  were  thus 
engaged,  to  the  astonishment  of  everybody,  Ned 
interrupted  their  deliberations  with,  "  Gentle 
men,  if  you  have  satisfied  yourselves  with  that 
paper,  1 11  thank  you  for  it."  It  is  easy  to  imag 
ine,  but  impossible  to  describe,  the  looks  and  ac 
tions  of  the  company  under  their  surprise  and 
mortification.  They  dropped  off,  and  left  the 
barkeeper  to  his  appropriate  duty  of  handing  the 
paper  to  Ned.  He  reached  it  forth,  but  Ned 
moved  not  a  hand  to  receive  it  for  about  the 
space  of  three  seconds,  during  which  time  he 
kept  his  eyes  fixed  upon  the  arch  -  offender  in 
awfully  solemn  rebuke.  He  then  took  it  grave 
ly  and  put  it  in  his  pocket,  and  left  the  barkeep 
er  with  a  shaking  ague  upon  him.  From  this 
moment  he  became  Ned's  most  obsequious  and 
willing  slave. 

Supper  was  announced ;  Mrs.  Blank,  the  land 
lady,  took  the  head  of  the  table,  and  Ned  seated 
himself  next  to  her.  Her  looks  denoted  some 
alarm  at  finding  him  so  near  to  her,  and  plainly 
showed  that  he  had  been  fully  described  to  her 
by  her  husband  or  some  one  else. 

"  Will  you  take  tea  or  coffee,  sir  ?"  said  she. 

"  Why,  madam,"  said  Ned,  in  a  tone  as  cour- 


40  GEORGIA   SCENES 

teous  as  Chesterfield  himself  could  have  used, 
"I  am  really  ashamed  to  acknowledge  and  to 
expose  my  very  singular  appetite  ;  but  habitual 
indulgence  of  it  has  made  it  necessary  to  my 
comfort,  if  not  to  my  health,  that  I  should  still 
favor  it  when  I  can.  If  you  will  pardon  me,  I 
will  take  both  at  the  same  time." 

This  respectful  reply  (which,  by-the-way,  she 
alone  was  permitted  to  hear)  had  its  natural  ef 
fect.  It  won  for  him  her  unqualified  indul 
gence,  raised  doubts  whether  he  could  be  the 
suspicious  character  which  had  been  described 
to  her,  and  begat  in  her  a  desire  to  cultivate  a 
further  acquaintance  with  him.  She  handed  to 
him  the  two  cups,  and  accompanied  them  with 
some  remarks,  drawn  from  her  own  observation 
in  the  line  of  her  business,  calculated  to  recon 
cile  him  to  his  whimsical  appetite ;  but  she 
could  extract  from  Ned  nothing  but  monosylla 
bles,  and  sometimes  not  even  that  much.  Con 
sequently,  the  good  lady  began  very  soon  to  re 
lapse  into  her  former  feelings. 

Ned  placed  a  cup  on  either  side  of  him,  and 
commenced  stirring  both  at  the  same  time  very 
deliberately.  This  done,  he  sipped  a  little  tea, 
and  asked  Mrs.  B.  for  a  drop  more  milk  in  it. 
Then  he  tasted  his  coffee,  and  desired  a  little 
more  sugar  in  it.  Then  he  tasted  his  tea  again, 
and  requested  a  small  lump  more  sugar  in  it. 
Lastly,  he  tasted  his  coffee,  and  desired  a  few 
drops  more  milk  in  that.  It  was  easy  to  discover 
that,  before  he  got  suited,  the  landlady  had  sol 
emnly  resolved  never  to  offer  any  more  encourage- 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  41 

ments  to  such  an  appetite.  She  waxed  exceeding 
ly  petulant,  and.,  having  nothing  else  to  scold,  she 
scolded  the  servants,  of  course. 

Waffles  were  handed  to  Ned,  and  he  took  one; 
batter-cakes  were  handed,  and  he  took  one  ;  and 
so  on  of  muffins,  rolls,  and  corn-bread.  Having 
laid  in  these  provisions,  he  turned  into  his  plate, 
upon  his  waffle  and  batter- cake,  some  of  the 
crumbs  of  the  several  kinds  of  bread  which  he 
had  taken,  in  different  proportions,  and  com 
menced  mashing  all  together  with  his  knife. 
During  this  operation  the  landlady  frowned  and 
pouted,  the  servants  giggled,  and  the  boarders 
were  variously  affected. 

Having  reduced  his  mess  to  the  consistency  of 
a  hard  poultice,  he  packed  it  all  up  to  one  side  of 
his  plate  in  the  form  of  a  terrapin,  and  smoothed 
it  all  over  nicely  with  his  knife.  Nearly  opposite 
to  Ned,  but  a  little  below  him,  sat  a  waspish 
little  gentleman,  who  had  been  watching  him 
with  increasing  torments  from  the  first  to  the 
last  movement  of  Ned's  knife.  His  tortures 
were  visible  to  blinder  eyes  than  Ned's,  and, 
doubtless,  had  been  seen  by  him  in  their  earliest 
paroxysms.  This  gentleman  occupied  a  seat 
nearest  to  a  dish  of  steak,  and  was  in  the  act  of 
muttering  something  about  " brutes"  to  his 
next  neighbor,  when  Ned  beckoned  a  servant  to 
him,  and  requested  him  "to  ask  that  gentleman 
for  a  small  bit  of  steak."  The  servant  obeyed, 
and,  planting  Ned's  plate  directly  between  the 
gentleman's  and  the  steak -dish,  delivered  his 
message.  The  testy  gentleman  turned  his  head, 


42  GEORGIA    SCENES 

and  the  first  thing  he  saw  was  Ned's  parti 
colored  terrapin  right  under  his  nose.  He 
started  as  if  he  had  been  struck  by  a  snapping- 
turtle,  reddened  to  scarlet,  looked  at  Ned  (who 
appeared  as  innocent  as  a  lamb),  looked  at  the 
servant  (who  appeared  as  innocent  as  Ned),  and 
then  fell  to  work  on  the  steak  as  if  he  were  am 
putating  all  Ned's  limbs  at  once. 

Ned  now  commenced  his  repast.  He  ate  his 
meat  and  breads  in  the  usual  way,  but  he  drank 
his  liquids  in  all  ways.  First  a  sip  of  tea,  then  of 
coffee  ;  then  two  of  the  first  and  one  of  the  last ; 
then  three  of  the  last  and  one  of  the  first,  and  so 
on. 

His  steak  was  soon  consumed,  and  his  plate 
was  a  second  time  returned  to  the  mettlesome 
gentleman  "for  another  very  small  bit  of  steak." 
The  plate  paid  its  second  visit  precisely  as  it  had 
its  first ;  and  as  soon  as  the  fiery  gentleman  saw 
the  half -demolished  terrapin  again  under  his 
nose  he  seized  a  fork,  drove  it  into  the  largest 
slice  of  steak  in  the  dish,  dashed  it  into  Ned's 
plate,  rose  from  the  table,  and  left  the  room, 
cursing  Ned  from  the  very  inmost  chamber  of 
his  soul.  Every  person  at  the  table,  except  Ned, 
laughed  outright  at  the  little  man's  fury  ;  but 
Ned  did  not  even  smile ;  nay,  he  looked  for  all 
the  world  as  if  he  thought  the  laugh  was  at 
him. 

The  boarders  one  after  another  retired,  until 
Ned  and  the  landlady  were  left  alone  at  the 
table. 

"  Will  you  have  another  cup  of  tea  and  coffee, 


THE    CHARACTER    OP    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  43 

sir  ?"  said  she,  by  the  way  of  convincing  him 
that  he  ought  to  retire,  seeing  that  he  had  fin 
ished  his  supper. 

"No,  I  thank  you,  madam,"  returned  Ned. 

"  Will  you  have  a  glass  of  milk,  and  a  cup  of 
tea  or  coffee,  or  all  three  together  ?" 

"No,  ma'am,"  said  Ned.  "lam  not  blind, 
madam,"  continued  he,  "  to  the  effects  which 
my  unfortunate  eccentricities  have  produced 
upon  yourself  and  your  company ;  nor  have  I 
witnessed  them  without  those  feelings  which 
they  are  well  calculated  to  inspire  in  a  man  of 
ordinary  sensibilities.  I  am  aware,  too,  that  I 
am  prolonging  and  aggravating  your  uneasiness 
by  detaining  you  beyond  the  hour  which  de 
mands  your  presence  at  the  table  ;  but  I  could 
not  permit  you  to  retire  without  again  bespeak 
ing  your  indulgence  of  the  strange,  unnatural 
appetite  which  has  just  caused  you  so  much  as 
tonishment  and  mortification.  The  story  of  its 
beginning  might  be  interesting,  and  certainly 
would  be  instructing  to  you  if  you  are  a  mother  ; 
but  I  am  indisposed  at  this  time  to  obtrude  it 
upon  your  patience,  and  I  presume  you  are  still 
less  disposed  to  hear  it.  My  principal  object, 
however,  in  claiming  your  attention  for  a  mo 
ment  at  this  time  is  to  assure  you  that,  out  of 
respect  to  your  feelings,  I  will  surrender  the  en 
joyment  of  my  meals  for  the  few  days  that  I 
have  to  remain  in  Savannah,  and  conform  to  the 
customs  of  your  table.  The  sudden  change  of 
my  habits  will  expose  me  to  some  inconvenience, 
and  may,  perhaps,  affect  my  health  ;  but  I  will 


44  GEORGIA    SCENES 

willingly  incur  these  hazards  rather  than  renew 
your  mortification,  or  impose  upon  your  family 
the  trouble  of  giving  me  my  meals  at  my  room." 

The  good  lady,  whose  bitter  feelings  had  given 
place  to  the  kinder  emotion  of  pity  and  benevo 
lence  before  Ned  had  half  concluded  his  apology 
(for  it  was  delivered  in  a  tone  of  the  most  melt 
ing  eloquence),  caught  at  this  last  hint,  and  in 
sisted  upon  sending  his  meals  to  his  room.  Ned 
reluctantly  consented,  after  extorting  a  pledge 
from  her  that  she  would  assume  the  responsibili 
ties  of  the  trouble  that  he  was  about  to  give  the 
family. 

"  As  to  your  boarders,  madam,"  said  Ned,  in 
conclusion,  "I  have  no  apology  to  make  to  them. 
I  grant  them  the  privilege  of  eating  what  they 
please  and  as  they  please  ;  and,  so  far  as  they 
are  concerned,  I  shall  exercise  the  same  privi 
leges,  reckless  of  their  feelings  or  opinions  ;  and 
I  shall  take  it  as  a  singular  favor  if  you  will  say 
nothing  to  them  or  to  any  one  else  which  may 
lead  them  to  the  discovery  that  I  am  acquainted 
with  my  own  peculiarities." 

The  good  lady  promised  obedience  to  his 
wishes,  and  Ned,  requesting  to  be  conducted  to 
his  room,  retired. 

A  group  of  gentlemen  at  the  fireplace  had  sent 
many  significant  "hems"  and  smiles  to  Mrs. 
Blank  during  her  tete-d-tete  with  Ned  ;  and  as 
she  approached  them,  on  her  way  out  of  the 
room,  they  began  to  taunt  her  playfully  upon 
the  impression  which  she  seemed  to  have  made 
upon  the  remarkable  stranger. 


THE    CHARACTER   OP    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  45 

''Really/'  said  one,  "I  thought  the  impression 
was  on  the  other  side." 

"And,  in  truth,  so  it  was,"  said  Mrs.  B.  At 
this  moment  her  husband  stepped  in. 

"Til  tell  you  what  it  is,  Mr.  Blank/'  said  one 
of  the  company,  "  you'd  better  keep  a  sharp  look 
out  on  that  stranger  ;  our  landlady  is  wonder 
fully  taken  with  him." 

"I'll  be  bound,"  said  Mr.  B.,  "for  my  wife; 
the  less  like  anybody  else  in  the  world  he  is,  the 
better  will  she  like  him." 

"Well,  I  assure  you,"  said  Mrs.  B.,  "I  never 
had  my  feelings  so  deeply  interested  in  a  stranger 
in  my  life.  I'd  give  the  world  to  know  his  his 
tory." 

"Why,  then,"  rejoined  the  landlord,  "I  sup 
pose  he  has  been  quizzing  us  all  this  time." 

"No,"  said  she,  "he  is  incapable  of  quizzing. 
All  that  you  have  seen  of  him  is  unaffected,  and 
perfectly  natural  to  him." 

"Then,  really,"  continued  the  husband,  "he 
is  a  very  interesting  object,  and  I  congratulate 
you  upon  getting  so  early  into  his  confidence  ; 
but,  as  I  am  not  quite  as  much  captivated  with 
his  unaffected  graces  as  you  seem  to  be,  I  shall 
take  the  liberty,  in  charity  to  the  rest  of  my 
boarders,  of  requesting  him  to-morrow  to  seek 
other  lodgings." 

"  Oh,"  exclaimed  Mrs.  B.,  in  the  goodness  of 
her  heart,  and  with  a  countenance  evincive  of 
the  deepest  feeling,  "  I  would  not  have  you  do 
such  a  thing  for  the  world.  He's  only  going  to 
stay  a  few  days." 


46  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"  How  do  you  know  ?" 

"He  told  me  so,  and  do  let's  bear  with  him 
that  short  time.  He  sha'n't  trouble  you  or  the 
boarders  any  more." 

"Why,  Sarah,"  said  the  landlord,  "I  do  be 
lieve  you  are  out  of  your  senses  !" 

"  Gone  case  !"  said  one  boarder.  ' '  Terrible 
affair  !"  said  another.  "Bewitching  little  fel 
low,"  said  a  third.  "Come,  Mrs.  Blank,  tell  us 
all  he  said  to  you  !  We  young  men  wish  to  know 
how  to  please  the  ladies,  so  that  we  may  get 
wives  easily.  I'm  determined,  the  next  party  I 
go  to,  to  make  a  soup  of  everything  on  the  wait 
ers  and  eat  all  at  once.  I  shall  then  become  ir 
resistible  to  the  ladies." 

"  Get  alolig  with  your  nonsense,"  said  Mrs.  B., 
smiling,  as  she  left  the  room. 

At  eight  o'clock  I  retired  to  my  room,  which 
happened  (probably  from  the  circumstance  of 
our  reaching  the  hotel  within  a  few  minutes  of 
each  other)  to  be  adjoining  Ned's.  I  had  no 
sooner  entered  my  room  than  Ned  followed  me, 
where  we  interchanged  the  particulars  which 
make  up  the  foregoing  story.  He  now  expended 
freely  the  laughter  which  he  had  been  collecting 
during  the  evening.  He  stated  that  his  last  in 
terview  with  Mrs.  Blank  was  the  result  of  neces 
sity  ;  that  he  found  he  had  committed  himself 
in  making  up  and  disposing  of  his  odd  supper, 
for  that  he  should  have  to  eat  in  the  same  way 
during  his  whole  stay  in  Savannah  unless  lie- 
could  manage  to  get  his  meals  in  private  ;  and, 
though  he  was  willing  to  do  penance  for  one 


THE    CHARACTER   OP    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  47 

meal  in  order  to  purchase  the  amusement  he  had 
enjoyed,  he  had  no  idea  of  tormenting  himself 
three  or  four  days  for  the  same  purpose.  To  tell 
you  the  honest  truth,  said  he,  nothing  but  an 
appetite  whetted  by  fasting  and  travelling  could 
have  borne  me  through  the  table  scene.  As  it 
was,  my  stomach  several  times  threatened  to  ex 
pose  my  tricks  to  the  whole  company,  by  down 
right  open  rebellion.  I  feel  that  I  must  make  it 
some  atonement  for  the  liberty  I  have  taken  with 
it,  and  therefore  propose  that  we  go  out  and  take 
an  oyster  supper  before  we  retire  to  rest.  I  as 
sented.  We  set  out,  going  separately  until  we 
reached  the  street. 

We  were  received  by  the  oyster-vender  in  a 
small  shop  which  fronted  upon  the  street,  and 
were  conducted  through  it  to  a  back  door,  and 
thence,  by  a  flight  of  steps,  to  a  convenient  room 
on  the  second  floor  of  an  adjoining  building.  We 
had  been  seated  about  three  minutes  when  we 
heard  footsteps  on  the  stairs,  and  directly  caught 
this  sentence  from  the  ascending  stranger: 
"Aha,  Monsieur  Middletong  !  you  say  you  hab 
de  bes'  oystar  in  la  cittee !  Vel,  me  shall  soon 
see." 

The  sentence  was  hardly  uttered  before  the 
door  opened  and  in  stepped  a  gay,  smirky  little 
Frenchman.  He  made  us  a  low  bow,  and,  as 
soon  as  he  rose  from  his  obeisance,  Ned  rushed 
to  him  in  transports  of  joy,  seized  him  by  the 
hand,  and,  shaking  it  with  friendship's  warmest- 
grasp,  exclaimed,  "  How  do  you  do,  my  old 
friend  ?  I  had  no  idea  of  meeting  you  here ; 


48  GEORGIA    SCENES 

how  do  you  do,  Mr.  Squeezelfanter  ?  how  have 
you  been  this  long  time  ?" 

"Sair,"  said  the  Frenchman,  "me  tank  you 
ver'  much  to  lub  me  so  hard  ;  but  you  mistake  de 
gentleman  ;  my  name  is  not  de  Squeezilfaunter." 

"  Come,  come,  John,"  continued  Ned,  "quit 
your  old  tricks  before  strangers.  Mr.  Hall,  let 
me  introduce  you  to  my  particular  friend,  John 
Squeezelfanter,  from  Paris." 

"Perhaps,  sir,"  said  I,  not  knowing  well  what 
to  say  or  how  to  act  in  such  an  emergency— 
"perhaps  you  have  mistaken  the  gentleman." 

"Begar,  sair,"  said  monsieur,  "he  is  mistake 
eberyting  at  once.  My  name  is  not  Zliaun  ;  me 
play  no  treek ;  me  is  not  de  gentlemong  f ren' ; 
me  did  not  come  from  Paree,  but  from  Bor 
deaux  ;  and  me  did  not  suppose  dare  was  a  man 
in  all  France  dat  was  name  de  Squeezilfaun- 
ter." 

"  If  I  am  mistaken,"  said  Ned,  "  I  humbly  ask 
your  pardon ;  but,  really,  you  look  so  much  like 
my  old  friend  Jack,  and  talk  so  much  like  him, 
that  I  would  have  sworn  you  were  he." 

"Vel,  sair,"  said  monsieur,  looking  at  Ned  as 
though  he  might  be  an  acquaintance  after  all, 
"vel,  sair,  dis  time  you  tell  my  name  right ;  my 
name  is  Jacques* — Jacques  Sancric." 

"There,"  proceeded  Ned,  "I  knew  it  was  im 
possible  I  could  be  mistaken  ;  your  whole  family 
settled  on  Sandy  Creek;  I  knew  your  father  and 

*  This  name  in  French  is  pronounced  very  nearty  like 
"  Jack"  in  English. 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  49 

mother,  your  sisters  Patsy  and  Dilsy,  your  brother 
Ichabod,  your  aunt  Bridget,  your — '" 

"  Oh,  mon  Dieu,  mon  Dieu  I"  exclaimed  the 
Frenchman,  no  longer  able  to  contain  his  sur 
prise  ;  "  dat  is  von  "Mericane  familee.  Dare  vas 
not  one  French  familee  hab  all  dat  name  since 
dis  vorl7  vas  make." 

"Now  look  at  me,  good  Jack,"  said  Ned, 
"and  see  if  you  don't  recollect  your  old  friend 
Obadiah  Snoddleburg,  who  used  to  play  with 
you,  when  a  boy,  in  Sandy  Creek." 

"  Vel,  Monsieur  Snotborg,  me  look  at  you  ver' 
veil,  and,  begar,  me  neber  see  you  in  de  creek, 
nor  out  de  creek.  'Tis  ver'  surprise  you  not 
know  one  name  from  one  creek." 

"  Oh,  very  well,  sir,  very  well ;  I  forgot  where 
I  was  ;  I  understand  you  now,  perfectly.  You 
are  not  the  first  gentleman  I  have  met  with  in 
Savannah  who  knew  me  well  in  the  country  and 
forgot  me  in  town.  I  ask  your  pardon,  sir,  and 
hope  you'll  excuse  me." 

"Me  is  ver'  wilF  to  know  you  now,  sair;  but, 
begar,  me  will  not  tell  you  one  lie,  to  know  you 
twenty-five  and  tirty  years  ago." 

"It  makes  no  difference,  sir,"  said  Ned,  look 
ing  through tfully  and  chagrined.  "I  beg  leave, 
however,  before  we  close  our  acquaintance,  to 
correct  one  mistake  which  I  made.  I  said  you 
were  from  Paris ;  I  believe,  on  reflection,  I  was 
wrong ;  I  think  your  sister  Dilsy  told  me  you 
were  from  Bordeaux." 

"Foutre  de  sist'  Dils!     Here,  Monsieur  Mid- 
dletong  !     My  oystar  ready  ?" 
4 


50  GEORGIA    SCENES 

?'  Yes,  sir." 

"  Vel,  if  my  oystar  ready,  you  give  dem  to  my 
fren'  Monsieur  Snotborg ;  and  ask  him  to  be  so 
good  to  carry  dem  to  my  sist'  Dils,  and  mybrod- 
der  Ichbod  on  Sand  Creek."  So  saying,  he  van 
ished  like  lightning. 

The  next  morning,  at  breakfast,  I  occupied 
Ned's  seat.  Mrs.  Blank  had  no  sooner  taken 
her  place  than  she  ordered  a  servant  to  bring 
her  a  waiter,  upon  which  she  placed  a  cup  of 
tea  and  another  of  coffee  ;  then  ordering  three 
plates,  she  placed  them  on  it ;  sent  one  servant 
for  one  kind  of  bread,  and  another  for  another, 
and  so  on  through  all  the  varieties  that  were  on 
the  table,  from  which  she  made  selections  for  plate 
No.  1.  In  the  same  way  did  she  collect  meats 
for  plate  No.  2 ;  No.  3  she  left  blank.  She  had 
nearly  completed  her  operations,  when  her  hus 
band  came  to  know  why  every  servant  was  en 
gaged  and  no  gentleman  helped  to  anything, 
when  the  oddly  furnished  waiter  met  his  eye  and 
fully  explained  the  wonder. 

"  In  God's  name,  Sarah,"  said  he,  "  who  are 
you  mixing  up  those  messes  for  ?" 

"For  that  strange  gentleman  we  were  speak 
ing  of  last  night,"  was  the  reply. 

"  Why  doesn't  he  come  to  the  table  ?" 

"He  was  very  anxious  to  come,  but  I  would 
not  let  him." 

"You  would  not  let  him  ?     Why  not  ?" 

"  Because  I  did  not  wish  to  see  a  man  of  his 
delicate  sensibilities  ridiculed  and  insulted  at 
my  table." 


TIIE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  51 

"  Delicate  devilabilities  !  Then  why  didn't 
you  send  a  servant  to  collect  his  mixtures  ?'v 

"  Because  I  preferred  doing  it  myself  to  troub 
ling  the  boarders.  I  knew  that,  wherever  his 
plates  went,  the  gentlemen  would  be  making 
merry  over  them,  and  I  couldn't  bear  to  see  it." 

The  landlord  looked  at  her  for  a  moment  with 
commingled  astonishment,  doubt,  and  alarm ; 
and  then,  upon  the  breath  of  a  deep-drawn  sigh, 
proceeded  : 

"  Well,  d — n*  the  man  !  He  hasn't  been  in 
the  house  more  than  two  hours,  except  when  he 
was  asleep,  and  he  has  insulted  one  half  my 
boarders,  made  fools  of  the  other  half,  turned 
the  head  of  my  barkeeper,  crazed  all  my  servants, 
and  run  my  wife  right  stark,  staring,  raving 
mad ;  a  man  who  is  a  perfect  clown  in  his  man 
ners,  and  who,  I  have  no  doubt,  will  in  the  end 
prove  to  be  a  horse-thief." 

Much  occurred  between  the  landlord  and  his 
lady  in  relation  to  Ned  which  we  must,  of  neces 
sity,  omit.  Suffice  it  to  say  that  her  assiduities 
to  Ned,  her  unexplained  sympathies  for  him, 
her  often-repeated  desires  to  become  better  ac 
quainted  with  him,  conspiring  with  one  or  two 
short  interviews  which  her  husband  saw  between 
her  and  Ned  (and  which  consisted  of  nothing 

*  I  should  certainly  omit  such  expressions  as  this,  could 
I  do  so  with  historic  fidelity;  but  the  peculiarities  of  the 
times  of  which  I  am  writing  cannot  be  faithfully  repre 
sented  without  them.  In  recording  things  as  they  are, 
truth  requires  me  sometimes  to  put  profane  language  into 
the  mouths  of  my  characters. 


52  GEORGIA    SCENES 

more  than  expressions  of  regret  on  his  part  at 
the  trouble  he  was  giving  the  family,  and  assur 
ance  on  hers  that  it  was  no  trouble  at  all),  be 
gan  to  bring  upon  the  landlord  the  husband's 
worst  calamity.  This  she  soon  observed ;  and, 
considering  her  duty  to  her  husband  as  of  para 
mount  obligation,  she  gave  him  an  explanation 
that  was  entirely  satisfactory.  She  told  him 
that  Ned  was  a  man  of  refined  feelings  and 
highly  cultivated  mind,  but  that,  in  his  infancy, 
his  mother  had  forced  him  to  eat  different  kinds 
of  diet  together,  until  she  had  produced  in  him 
a  vitiated  and  unconquerable  appetite,  which  he 
was  now  constrained  to  indulge,  as  the  drunkard 
does  his,  or  be  miserable.  As  the  good  man  was 
prepared  to  believe  any  story  of  woman's  folly, 
he  was  satisfied. 

This  being  the  Sabbath,  at  the  usual  hour  Ned 
went  to  church,  and  selected  for  his  morning 
service  one  of  those  churches  in  which  the  pews 
are  free,  and  in  which  the  hymn  is  given  out, 
and  sung  by  the  congregation,  a  half  recitative. 

Ned  entered  the  church  in  as  fast  a  walk  as 
he  could  possibly  assume  ;  proceeded  about  half 
down  the  aisle,  and  popped  himself  down  in 
his  seat  as  quick  as  if  he  had  been  shot.  The 
more  thoughtless  of  the  congregation  began  to 
titter,  and  the  graver  peeped  up  slyly  but  sol 
emnly  at  him. 

The  pastor  rose,  and,  before  giving  out  the 
hymn,  observed  that  singing  was  a  part  of  the 
service  in  which  he  thought  the  whole  congrega 
tion  ought  to  join.  Thus  saying,  he  gave  out 


54  GEORGIA    SCENES 

the  first  lines  of  the  hymn.  As  soon  as  the  tune 
was  raised,  Ned  struck  in  with  one  of  the  loud 
est,  hoarsest,  and  most  discordant  voices  that 
ever  annoyed  a  solemn  assembly. 

"I  would  observe,"  said  the  preacher,  before 
giving  out  the  next  two  lines,  "that  there  are 
some  persons  who  have  not  the  gift  of  singing  ; 
such,  of  course,  are  not  expected  to  sing."  Ned 
took  the  hint  and  sang  no  more  ;  but  his  entrance 
into  church  and  his  entrance  into  the  hymn  had 
already  dispersed  the  solemnity  of  three-fifths  of 
the  congregation. 

As  soon  as  the  pastor  commenced  his  sermon, 
Ned  opened  his  eyes,  threw  back  his  head, 
dropped  his  under-jaw,  and  surrendered  himself 
to  the  most  intense  interest.  The  preacher  was 
an  indifferent  one  ;  and  by  as  much  as  he  became 
dull  and  insipid,  by  so  much  did  Ned  become 
absorbed  in  the  discourse.  And  yet  it  was  im 
possible  for  the  nicest  observer  to  detect  any 
thing  in  his  looks  or  manner  short  of  the  most 
solemn  devotion.  The  effect  which  his  con 
duct  had  upon  the  congregation,  and  their  sub 
sequent  remarks,  must  be  left  to  the  imagination 
of  the  reader.  I  give  but  one  remark:  "Bless 
that  good  man  who  came  in  the  church  so  quick," 
said  a  venerable  matron  as  she  left  the  church 
door,  "how  he  was  affected  by  the  sarment!" 

Ned  went  to  church  no  more  on  that  day. 
About  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  while  he 
was  standing  at  the  tavern  door,  a  funeral  pro 
cession  passed  by,  at  the  foot  of  which,  and 
singly,  walked  one  of  the  smallest  men  I  ever 


56  GEORGIA    SCENES 

saw.  As  soon  as  he  came  opposite  the  door, 
Ned  stepped  out  and  joined  him  with  great  so 
lemnity.  The  contrast  between  the  two  was 
ludicrously  striking,  and  the  little  man's  looks 
and  uneasiness  plainly  showed  that  he  felt  it. 
However,  he  soon  became  reconciled  to  it.  They 
proceeded  but  a  little  way  before  Ned  inquired 
of  his  companion  who  was  dead. 

"  Mr.  Noah  Bills,"  said  the  little  man. 

"Nan  ?"  said  Ned,  raising  his  hand  to  his  ear, 
in  token  of  deafness,  and  bending  his  head  to 
the  speaker. 

"Mr.  Noah  Bills/'  repeated  the  little  man, 
loud  enough  to  disturb  the  two  couple  imme 
diately  before  him. 

"Mrs.  Noel's  Bill!"  said  Ned,  with  mortifi 
cation  and  astonishment.  "Do  the  white  per 
sons  pay  such  respect  to  niggers  in  Savannah  ? 
JshaVt  do  it."  So  saying,  he  left  the  procession. 

The  little  man  was  at  first  considerably  net 
tled  ;  but,  upon  being  left  to  his  own  reflections, 
he  got  into  an  uncontrollable  fit  of  laughter,  as 
did  the  couple  immediately  in  advance  of  him, 
who  overheard  Ned's  remark.  The  procession 
now  exhibited  a  most  mortifying  spectacle  ;  the 
head  of  it  in  mourning  and  in  tears,,  and  the 
foot  of  it  convulsed  with  laughter. 
.  On  Monday  Ned  employed  himself  in  dispos 
ing  of  the  business  which  brought  him  to  Savan 
nah,  and  I  saw  but  little  of  him  ;  but  I  could 
not  step  into  the  street  without  hearing  of  him. 
All  talked  about  him,  and  hardly  any  two  agreed 
about  his  character. 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  57 

On  Tuesday  he  visited  the  market,  and  set  it 
all  in  astonishment  or  laughter.  He  wanted  to 
buy  something  of  everybody,  and  some  of  every 
thing  ;  but  could  not  agree  upon  the  terms  of  a 
trade,  because  he  always  wanted  his  articles  in 
such  portions  and  numbers  as  no  one  would  sell, 
or  upon  conditions  to  which  no  one  would  sub 
mit.  To  give  a  single  example  :  he  beset  an  old 
negro  woman  to  sell  him  the  half  of  a  living 
chicken. 

"Do,  my  good  mauma,  sell  it  to  me,"  said  he; 
"  my  wife  is  very  sick,  and  is  longing  for  chicken 
pie,  and  this  is  all  the  money  I  have"  (holding 
out  twelve  and  a  half  cents  in  silver),  "and  it's 
just  what  a  half-chicken  comes  to  at  your  own 
price." 

"Ki,  massa  !  how  gwine  cut  live  chicken  in 
two  ?" 

"  I  don't  want  you  to  cut  it  in  two  alive  ;  kill 
it,  clean  it,  and  then  divide  it." 

"  Name  o'  God  !  what  sort  o'  chance  got  to 
clean  chicken  in  de  market-house  ?  Whay  de 
water  for  scall  urn  and  wash  um  ?" 

"  Don't  scald  it  at  all ;  just  pick  it,  so." 

"Ech-ech!  Fedder  fly  all  ober  de  buckera- 
man  meat,  he  come  bang  me  fo'  true.  No, 
massa ;  I  mighty  sorry  for  your  wife,  but  I  no 
cutty  chicken  open." 

In  the  afternoon  Ned  entered  the  dining-room 
of  the  tavern,  and  who  should  he  find  there  but 
Monsieur  Sancric,  of  oyster-house  memory.  He 
and  the  tavern-keeper  were  alone.  With  the 
first  glimpse  of  Ned,  "Le  diable  !"  exclaimed  the 


58  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Frenchman,  "here  my  brodder  Ichbod  ' 
and  away  he  went. 

"  Mr.  Sancric  !"  said  the  landlord,,  calling  to 
him  as  if  to  tell  him  something  just  thought  of, 
and  following  him  out,  "what  did  you  say  that 
man's  name  is  ?" 

"He  name  Monsieur  Snotborg." 

"  Why,  that  can't  be  his  name,  for  it  begins 
with  a  B  or  an  R.  Where  is  he  from  ?" 

"From  Sand  Creek." 

"Where  did  you  know  him  ?" 

"Begar,  me  neber  did  know  him."  Here  Ned 
sauntered  in  sight  of  the  Frenchman,  and  he 
vanished. 

"Well,"  said  the  landlord,  as  he  returned,  "it 
does  seem  to  me  that  everybody  who  has  any 
thing  to  do  with  that  man  runs  crazy  forthwith." 

When  he  entered  the  dining-room  he  found 
Ned  deeply  engaged  reading  a  child's  primer, 
with  which  he  seemed  wonderfully  delighted. 
The  landlord  sat  for  a  moment,  smiled,  and  then 
hastily  left  the  room.  As  soon  as  he  disap 
peared,  Ned  laid  down  his  book,  and  took  his 
station  behind  some  cloaks  in  the  bar,  which  at 
the  moment  was  deserted.  He  had  just  reached 
his  place  when  the  landlord  returned  with  his 
lady. 

"  Oh,"  said  the  first,  "he's  gone  !  I  brought 
you  in  to  show  you  what  kind  of  books  your  man 
of  '  refined  feelings  and  highly  cultivated  mind ' 
delights  in.  But  he  has  left  his  book,  and  here 
it  is,  opened  at  the  place  where  he  left  oif ;  and 
do  let's  see  what's  in  it." 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  59 

They  examined,  and  found  that  he  had  been 
reading  the  interesting  poem  of  "  Little  Jack 
Homer." 

<f  Now/' continued  the  landlord,  "if  you'll  be 
lieve  me,  he  was  just  as  much  delighted  with 
that  story  as  you  or  I  would  be  with  the  best 
written  number  of  the  Spectator." 

"Well,  it's  very  strange,"  said  Mrs.  Blank; 
"  I  reckon  he  must  be  flighty,  for  no  man  could 
have  made  a  more  gentlemanly  apology  than  he 
did  to  me  for  his  peculiarities,  and  no  one  could 
have  urged  it  more  feelingly." 

"One  thing  is  very  certain,"  said  the  husband  ; 
"  if  he  be  not  flighty  himself,  he  has  a  wonderful 
knack  of  making  everybody  else  so.  Sancric  ran 
away  from  him  just  now  as  if  he  had  seen  the 
devil ;  called  him  by  one  name  when  he  left  the 
room,  by  another  at  the  door,  told  me  where  he 
came  from,  and  finally  swore  he  did  not  know 
him  at  all." 

Ned,  having  slipped  softly  from  the  bar  into 
the  entry  during  this  interview,  entered  the  din 
ing-room  as  if  from  the  street. 

"  I  am  happy,"  said  he,  smiling,  "  to  meet  you 
together  and  alone,  upon  the  eve  of  my  departure 
from  Savannah,  that  I  may  explain  to  you  my 
singular  conduct  and  ask  your  forgiveness  of  it. 
I  will  do  so  if  you  will  not  expose  my  true  char 
acter  until  I  shall  have  left  the  city." 

This  they  promised.  "  My  name,  then,"  con 
tinued  he,  "is  Edward  Brace,  of  Richmond 
County.  Humor  has  been  my  besetting  sin  from 
my  youth  up.  It  has  sunk  me  far  below  the  sta- 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


tion  to  which  my  native  gifts  entitled  me.  It 
has  robbed  me  of  the  respect  of  all  my  acquaint 
ances,  and,  what  is  much  more  to  be  regretted, 
the  esteem  of  some  of  my  best  and  most  indul 
gent  friends.  All  this  I  have  long  known  ;  and  I 
have  a  thousand  times  deplored,  and  as  often  re 
solved  to  conquer,  my  self-destroying  propensity. 
But  so  deeply  is  it  wrought  into  my  very  nature, 
so  completely  and  indissolubly  interwoven  is  it 
with  every  fibre  and  filament  of  my  being,  that 
I  have  found  it  impossible  for  me  to  subdue  it. 
Being  on  my  first  visit  to  Savannah,  unknowing 
and  unknown,  I  could  not  forego  the  opportunity 
which  it  furnished  of  gratifying  my  ungovern 
able  proclivity.  All  the  extravagances  which 
you  have  seen  have  been  in  subservience  to  it." 

He  then  explained  the  cause  of  his  troubling 
the  kind  lady  before  him  to  give  him  his  meals 
at  his  room,  and  the  strange  conduct  of  Monsieur 
Sancric,  at  which  they  both  laughed  heartily. 
He  referred  them  to  me  for  confirmation  of  what 
he  had  told  them.  Having  gone  thus  far,  con 
tinued  he,  "  I  must  sustain  my  character  until 
to-morrow,  when  I  shall  leave  Savannah." 

Having  now  two  more  to  enjoy  his  humor  with 
him  and  myself,  he  let  himself  loose  that  night 
among  the  boarders  with  all  his  strength,  and 
never  did  I  see  two  mortals  laugh  as  did  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Blank. 

Far  as  I  have  extended  this  sketch,  I  cannot 
close  without  exhibiting  Ned  in  one  new  scene 
in  which  accident  placed  him  before  he  left  Sa 
vannah. 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  61 

About  two  o'clock  on  the  morning  of  our  de 
parture  the  town  was  alarmed  by  the  cry  of  fire. 
Ned  got  up  before  me,  and,  taking  one  of  my 
boots  from  the  door  and  putting  one  of  his  in  its 
place,  he  marched  down  to  the  front  door  with 
odd  boots.  On  coming  out  and  finding  what  had 
been  done,  I  knew  that  Ned  could  not  have  left 
the  house,  for  it  was  impossible  for  him  to  wear 
my  boot.  I  was  about  descending  the  stairs 
when  he  called  to  me  from  the  front  door,  and 
said  the  servant  had  mixed  our  boots,  and  that 
he  had  brought  down  one  of  mine.  When  I 
reached  the  front  door  I  found  Ned  and  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Blank  there;  all  the  inmates  of  the  house 
having  left  it,  who  designed  to  leave  it,  but  Ned 
and  myself. 

"  Don't  go  and  leave  me,  Hall/'  said  he,  hold 
ing  my  boot  in  his  hand,  and  having  his  own  on 
his  leg. 

"How  can  I  leave  you,"  said  I,  "unless  you'll 
give  me  my  boot  ?"  This  he  did  not  seem  to  hear. 

"  Do  run,  gentlemen,"  said  Mrs.  Blank,  greatly 
alarmed.  "Mr.  Brace,  you've  got  Mr.  Hall's 
boot;  give  it  to  him." 

"In  a  minute,  madam,"  said  he,  seeming  to 
be  beside  himself.  A  second  after,  however,  all 
was  explained  to  me.  He  designed  to  have  my 
company  to  the  fire,  and  his  own  fun  before  he 
went. 

A  man  came  posting  along  in  great  alarm  and 
crying  "Fire  !"  loudly. 

"  Mister,  mister,"  said  Ned,  jumping  out  of  the 
house. 


62  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"Sir,"  said  the  man,  stopping  and  puffing 
awfully. 

"  Have  you  seen  Mr.  Peleg  Q.  C.  Stone  along 
where  you've  been  ?"  inquired  Ned,  with  anxious 
solicitude. 

"D— n  Mr.  Peleg  Q.  C.  Stone!"  said  the  stran 
ger.  "What  chance  have  I  of  seeing  anybody, 
hopping  up  at  two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and 
the  town  a-fire  !"  and  on  he  went. 

Thus  did  he  amuse  himself  writh  various  ques 
tions  and  remarks  to  four  or  five  passengers,  until 
even  Mrs.  Blank  forgot  for  a  while  that  the  town 
was  in  flames.  The  last  object  of  his  sport  was 
a  woman,  who  came  along  exclaiming,  "  Oh,  it's 
Mr.  Dalby's  house  !  I'm  sure  it  is  Mr.  Dalby's 
house  !"  Two  gentlemen  assured  her  that  the 
fire  was  far  beyond  Mr.  Dalby's  house  ;  but  still 
she  went  on  with  her  exclamations.  When  she 
had  passed  the  door  about  ten  steps,  Ned  per 
mitted  me  to  cover  my  frozen  foot  with  my  boot, 
and  we  moved  on  towards  the  fire.  We  soon  over 
took  the  woman  just  mentioned,  who  had  become 
somewhat  pacified.  As  Ned  came  alongside  of 
her,  without  seeming  to  notice  her,  he  observed, 
"Poor  Dalby,  I  see  his  house  is  gone." 

"I  said  so,"  she  screamed  out ;  "I  knew  it !" 
and  on  she  went,  screaming  ten  times  louder  than 
before. 

As  soon  as  we  reached  the  fire  a  gentleman  in 
military  dress  rode  up  and  ordered  Ned  into  the 
line  to  hand  buckets.  Ned  stepped  in,  and  the 
first  bucket  that  was  handed  to  him  he  raised 
very  deliberately  to  his  mouth  and  began  to 


THE    CHARACTER    OF    A    NATIVE    GEORGIAN  68 

drink.  In  a  few  seconds  all  on  Ned's  right  were 
overburdened  with  buckets  and  calling  loudly 
for  relief,,  while  those  on  his  left  were  unem 
ployed.  Terrible  were  the  cursing  and  clamor,, 
and  twenty  voices  at  once  ordered  Ned  out  of 
the  line.  Ned  stepped  out,  and  along  came  the 
man  on  horseback  and  ordered  him  in  again. 

"  Captain/'  said  Ned,  "  I  am  so  thirsty  that  I 
can  do  nothing  until  I  get  some  water,  and  they 
will  not  let  me  drink  in  the  line." 

"  Well,"  said  the  captain,  "  step  in,  and  I'll  see 
that  you  get  a  drink." 

Ned  stepped  in  again,  and  receiving  the  first 
bucket  began  to  raise  it  to  his  lips  very  slowly, 
when  some  one  hallooed  to  him  to  pass  on  the 
bucket,  and  he  brought  it  down  again  and  hand 
ed  it  on. 

"  Why  didn't  you  drink  ?"  said  the  captain. 

"Why?  Don't  you  see  they  won't  let  me?" 
said  Ned. 

"Don't  mind  what  they  say ;  drink,  and  then 
go  on  with  your  work." 

Ned  took  the  next  bucket,  and  commenced 
raising  it  as  before,  when  some  one  again  ordered 
him  to  pass  on  the  bucket. 

"There,"  said  Ned,  turning  to  the  captain, 
with  the  bucket  half  raised,  "you  hear  that  ?" 

"Why,  blast  your  eyes,"  said  the  captain, 
"what  do  you  stop  for?  Drink  on  and  have 
done  with  it." 

Ned  raised  the  bucket  to  his  lips  and  drank, 
or  pretended  to  drink,  until  a  horse  might  have 
been  satisfied. 


64  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"Ain't  you  done?"  said  the  captain,  general 
mutiny  and  complaint  beginning  to  prevail  in 
the  line. 

"  Why,  haVt  you  drank  enough  ?"  said  the 
captain,  becoming  extremely  impatient. 

"Most/7  said  Ned,  letting  out  a  long  breath 
and  still  holding  the  bucket  near  his  lips. 

"Zounds  and  blood  I"  cried  the  captain,  "clear 
yourself ;  you'll  drink  an  enginef ul  of  water  !" 

Ned  left  the  ranks  and  went  to  his  lodgings ; 
and  the  rising  sun  found  us  on  our  way  home 
ward. 

HALL. 


THE    FIGHT 

IN  the  younger  days  of  the  Republic  there 

lived  in  the  county  of two  men  who  were 

admitted  on  all  hands  to  be  the  very  best  men 
in  the  county,  which  in  the  Georgia  vocabulary 
means  they  could  flog  any  other  two  men  in  the 
county.  Each,  through  many  a  hard -fought 
battle,  had  acquired  the  mastery  of  his  own 
battalion  ;  but  they  lived  on  opposite  sides  of 
the  court  -  house  and  in  different  battalions, 
consequently  they  were  but  seldom  thrown  to 
gether.  When  they  met,  however,  they  were 
always  very  friendly  ;  indeed,  at  their  first  inter 
view  they  seemed  to  conceive  a  wonderful  at 
tachment  to  each  other,  which  rather  increased 
than  diminished  as  they  became  better  acquaint 
ed  ;  so  that,  but  for  the  circumstance  which  I 
am  about  to  mention,  the  question,  which  had 
been  a  thousand  times  asked,  "Which  is  the 
best  man,  Billy  Stallions  (Stallings)  or  Bob 
Durham  ?"  would  probably  never  have  been  an 
swered. 

Billy  ruled  the  upper  battalion  and  Bob  the 
lower.  The  former  measured  six  feet  and  an 
inch  in  his  stockings,  and,  without  a  single 
pound  of  cumbrous  flesh  about  him,  weighed  a 


66  GEORGIA    SCENES 

hundred  and  eighty.  The  latter  was  an  inch 
shorter  than  his  rival,  and  ten  pounds  lighter  ; 
but  he  was  much  the  more  active  of  the  two. 
In  running  and  jumping  he  had  but  few  equals 
in  the  county  ;  and  in  wrestling,  not  one.  In 
other  respects  they  were  nearly  equal.  Both 
were  admirable  specimens  of  human  nature  in 
its  finest  form.  Billy's  victories  had  generally 
been  achieved  by  the  tremendous  power  of  his 
blows,  one  of  which  had  often  proved  decisive  of 
his  battles  ;  Bob's  by  his  adroitness  in  bringing 
his  adversary  to  the  ground.  This  advantage 
he  had  never  failed  to  gain  at  the  onset,  and 
when  gained  he  never  failed  to  improve  it  to  the 
defeat  of  his  adversary.  These  points  of  differ 
ence  have  involved  the  reader  in  a  doubt  as  to 
the  probable  issue  of  a  contest  between  them. 
It  was  not  so,  however,  with  the  two  battalions. 
Neither  had  the  least  difficulty  in  determining 
the  point  by  the  most  natural  and  irresistible 
deductions  a  priori ;  and  though,  by  the  same 
course  of  reasoning,  they  arrived  at  directly 
opposite  conclusions,  neither  felt  its  confidence 
in  the  least  shaken  by  this  circumstance.  The 
upper  battalion  swore  "that  Billy  only  wanted 
one  lick  at  him  to  knock  his  heart,  liver,  and 
lights  out  of  him,  and  if  he  got  two  at  him 
he'd  knock  him  into  a  cocked  hat."  The  lower 
battalion  retorted  "  that  he  wouldn't  have  time 
to  double  his  fist  before  Bob  would  put  his  head 
where  his  feet  ought  to  be  ;  and  that,  by  the 
time  he  hit  the  ground,  the  meat  would  fly  oif 
his  face  so  quick  that  people  would  think  it  was 


THE    FIGHT  67 

shook  off  by  the  fall."  These  disputes  often  led 
to  the  argumentum  ad  liominem,  but  with  such 
equality  of  success  on  both  sides  as  to  leave  the 
main  question  just  where  they  found  it.  They 
usually  ended,  however,  in  the  common  way — 
with  a  bet ;  and  many  a  quart  of  old  Jamaica 
(whiskey  had  not  then  supplanted  rum)  was 
staked  upon  the  issue.  Still,  greatly  to  the  an 
noyance  of  the  curious,  Billy  and  Bob  continued 
to  be  good  friends. 

Now,  there  happened  to  reside  in  the  county 
just  alluded  to  a  little  fellow  by  the  name  of 
Eansy  Sniffle  :  a  sprout  of  Richmond,  who,  in  his 
earlier  days,  had  fed  copiously  upon  red  clay  and 
blackberries.  This  diet  had  given  to  Ransy  a 
complexion  that  a  corpse  would  have  disdained 
to  own,  and  an  abdominal  rotundity  that  was 
quite  unprepossessing.  Long  spells  of  the  fever 
and  ague,  too,  in  Ransy's  youth,  had  conspired 
with  clay  and  blackberries  to  throw  him  quite 
out  of  the  order  of  nature.  His  shoulders  were 
fleshless  and  elevated ;  his  head  large  and  flat ; 
his  neck  slim  and  translucent ;  and  his  arms, 
hands,  fingers,  and  feet  were  lengthened  out  of 
all  proportion  to  the  rest  of  his  frame.  His 
joints  were  large  and  his  limbs  small ;  and  as 
for  flesh,  he  could  not,  with  propriety,  be  said 
to  have  any.  Those  parts  which  nature  usually 
supplies  with  the  most  of  this  article — the  calves 
of  the  legs,  for  example — presented  in  him  the 
appearance  of  so  many  well-drawn  blisters.  His 
height  was  just  five  feet  nothing  ;  and  his  average 
weight  in  blackberry  season,  ninety-five.  I  have 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


been  thus  particular  in  describing  him,  for  the 
purpose  of  showing  what  a  great  matter  a  little 
fire  sometimes  kindleth.  There  was  nothing  on 
this  earth  which  delighted  Kansy  so  much  as  a 
fight.  He  never  seemed  fairly  alive  except  when 
he  was  witnessing,  fomenting,  or  talking  about  a 
fight.  Then,  indeed,  his  deep -sunken  gray  eye 


RANSY  SNIFFLE 

assumed  something  of  a  living  fire,  and  his  tongue 
acquired  a  volubility  that  bordered  upon  elo 
quence.  Eansy  had  been  kept  for  more  than  a 
year  in  the  most  torturing  suspense  as  to  the 
comparative  manhood  of  Billy  Stallings  and  Bob 
Durham.  He  had  resorted  to  all  his  usual  ex 
pedients  to  bring  them  in  collision,  and  had  en 
tirely  failed.  He  had  faithfully  reported  to  Bob 
all  that  had  been  said  by  the  people  in  the  upper 


THE   FIGHT  69 

battalion  "agin  him,"  and  "he  was  sure  Billy 
Stallings  started  it.  He  heard  Billy  say  himself 
to  Jim  Brown  that  he  could  whip  him,  or  any 
other  man  in  his  battalion";  and  this  he  told  to 
Bob,  adding,  "Dod  darn  his  soul,  if  he  was  a 
little  bigger,  if  he'd  let  any  man  put  upon  his 
battalion  in  such  a  way  !"  Bob  replied,  "If  he 
(Stallings)  thought  so,  he'd  better  come  and  try 
it."  This  Ransy  carried  to  Billy,  and  delivered 
it  with  a  spirit  becoming  his  own  dignity  and 
the  character  of  his  battalion,  and  with  a  color 
ing  well  calculated  to  give  it  effect.  These  and 
many  other  schemes  which  Ransy  laid  for  the 
gratification  of  his  curiosity  entirely  failed  of 
their  object.  Billy  and  Bob  continued  friends, 
and  Ransy  had  begun  to  lapse  into  the  most 
tantalizing  and  hopeless  despair,  when  a  circum 
stance  occurred  which  led  to  a  settlement  of  the 
long-disputed  question. 

It  is  said  that  a  hundred  game-cocks  will  live  in 
perfect  harmony  together  if  you  do  not  put  a  hen 
with  them  ;  and  so  it  would  have  been  with  Billy 
and  Bob  had  there  been  no  women  in  the  world. 
But  there  were  women  in  the  world,  and  from 
them  each  of  our  heroes  had  taken  to  himself 
a  wife.  The  good  ladies  were  no  strangers  to 
the  prowess  of  their  husbands,  and,  strange  as  it 
may  seem,  they  presumed  a  little  upon  it. 

The  two  battalions  had  met  at  the  court-house 
upon  a  regimental  parade.  The  two  champions 
were  there,  and  their  wives  had  accompanied 
them.  Neither  knew  the  other's  lady,  nor  were 
the  ladies  known  to  each  other.  The  exercises 


70  GEORGIA   SCENES 

of  the  day  were  just  over,  when  Mrs.  Stallings 
and  Mrs.  Durham  stepped  simultaneously  into 
the  store  of  Zephaniah  Atwater,  from  "down 
East." 

"  Have  you  any  Turkey  red  ?"  said  Mrs.  S. 

"  Have  you  any  curtain  calico  ?"  said  Mrs.  D. 
at  the  same  moment. 

"Yes,  ladies/'  said  Mr.  Atwater,  "I  have 
both." 

"Then  help  me  first,"  said  Mrs.  D.,  "for  I'm 
in  a  hurry." 

"Fm  in  as  great  a  hurry  as  she  is,"  said  Mrs. 
S.,  "and  I'll  thank  you  to  help  me  first." 

"  And,  pray,  who  are  you,  madam  ?"  continued 
the  other. 

"Your  betters,  madam,"  was  the  reply. 

At  this  moment  Billy  Stallings  stepped  in. 
"Come,"  said  he,  "Nancy,  let's  be  going;  it's 
getting  late." 

"  Fd  V  been  gone  half  an  hour  ago,"  she  re 
plied,  "if  it  hadn't  V  been  for  that  impudent 
hussy." 

"Who  do  you  call  an  impudent  hussy,  you 
nasty,  good-for-nothing,  snaggle-toothed  gaub  of 
fat,  you  ?"  returned  Mrs.  D. 

"Look  here,  woman,"  said  Billy,  "have  you 
got  a  husband  here  ?  If  you  have,  I'll  lick  him 
till  he  learns  to  teach  you  better  manners,  you 
sassy  heifer  you  !" 

At  this  moment  something  was  seen  to  rush 
out  of  the  store  as  if  ten  thousand  hornets  were 
stinging  it,  crying,  "Take  care — let  me  go — 
don't  hold  me — where's  Bob  Durham  ?"  It  was 


THE    FIGHT  71 

Ransy  Sniffle,  who  had  been  listening  in  breath 
less  delight  to  all  that  had  passed. 

"  Yonder's  Bob,,  setting  on  the  court-house 
steps,"  cried  one.  "  What's  the  matter  ?" 

"  Don't  talk  to  me  !"  said  Eansy.  "  Bob  Dur 
ham,  you'd  better  go  long  yonder  and  take  care 
of  your  wife.  They're  playing  h — 1  with  her 
there,  in  Zeph  Atwater's  store.  Dod  etarnally 
darn  my  soul,  if  any  man  was  to  talk  to  my  wife 
as  Bill  Stallions  is  talking  to  yours,  if  I  wouldn't 
drive  blue  blazes  through  him  in  less  than  no 
time  !" 

Bob  sprang  to  the  store  in  a  minute,  followed 
by  a  hundred  friends  ;  for  the  bully  of  a  county 
never  wants  friends. 

"Bill  Stallions,"  said  Bob,  as  he  entered, 
"what  have  you  been  saying  to  my  wife  ?" 

"  Is  that  your  wife  ?"  inquired  Billy,  obviously 
much  surprised  and  a  little  disconcerted. 

"Yes,  she  is  ;  and  no  man  shall  abuse  her,  I 
don't  care  Avho  he  is." 

"Well,"  rejoined  Billy,  "it  ain't  worth  while 
to  go  over  it ;  I've  said  enough  for  a  fight,  and 
if  you'll  step  out  we'll  settle  it  !" 

"Billy,"  said  Bob,  "are  you  for  a  fair  fight  ?" 

"  I  am,"  said  Billy.  "  I've  heard  much  of  your 
manhood,  and  I  believe  I'm  a  better  man  than 
you  are.  If  you  will  go  into  a  ring  with  me  we 
can  soon  settle  the  dispute." 

"Choose  your  friends,"  said  Bob  ;  "make  your 
ring,  and  I'll  be  in  with  mine  as  soon  as  you  will !" 

They  both  stepped  out,  and  began  to  strip  very 
deliberately,  each  battalion  gathering  round  its 


72  GEORGIA    SCENES 

champion,  except  Ransy,  who  kept  himself  busy 
in  a  most  honest  endeavor  to  hear  and  see  all  that 
transpired  in  both  groups  at  the  same  time.  He 
ran  from  one  to  the  other  in  quick  succession  ; 
peeped  here  and  listened  there  ;  talked  to  this 
one,  then  to  that  one,  and  then  to  himself ;  squat 
ted  under  one's  legs  and  another's  arms  ;  and,  in 
the  short  interval  between  stripping  and  stepping 
into  the  ring,  managed  to  get  himself  trod  on  by 
half  of  both  battalions.  But  Ransy  was  not  the 
only  one  interested  upon  this  occasion  ;  the  most 
intense  interest  prevailed  everywhere.  Many 
were  the  conjectures,  doubts,  oaths,  and  impre 
cations  uttered  while  the  parties  were  preparing 
for  the  combat.  All  the  knowing  ones  were  con 
sulted  as  to  the  issue,  and  they  all  agreed,  to  a 
man,  in  one  of  two  opinions  —  either  that  Bob 
would  flog  Billy,  or  Billy  would  flog  Bob.  We 
must  be  permitted,  however,  to  dwell  for  a  mo 
ment  upon  the  opinion  of  Squire  Thomas  Log- 
gins,  a  man  who,  it  was  said,  had  never  failed  to 
predict  the  issue  of  a  fight  in  all  his  life.  Indeed, 
so  unerring  had  he  always  proved  in  this  regard 
that  it  would  have  been  counted  the  most  ob 
stinate  infidelity  to  doubt  for  a  moment  after  he 
had  delivered  himself.  Squire  Loggins  was  a 
man  who  said  but  little,  but  that  little  was  al 
ways  delivered  with  the  most  imposing  solemnity 
of  look  and  cadence.  He  always  wore  the  aspect 
of  profound  thought,  and  you  could  not  look  at 
him  without  coming  to  the  conclusion  that  he 
was  elaborating  truth  from  its  most  intricate 
combinations. 


THE    FIGHT  73 

" Uncle  Tommy,"  said  Sam  Reynolds,  "you 
can  tell  us  all  about  it  if  you  will ;  how  will  the 
fight  go  ?" 

The  question  immediately  drew  an  anxious 
group  around  the  squire.  He  raised  his  teeth 
slowly  from  the  head  of  his  walking-cane,  on 
which  they  had  been  resting,  pressed  his  lips 
closely  and  thoughtfully  together,  threw  down 
his  eyebrows,  dropped  his  chin,  raised  his  eyes 
to  an  angle  of  twenty-three  degrees,  paused  about 
half  a  minute,  and  replied,  "Sammy,  watch  Rob 
ert  Durham  close  in  the  beginning  of  the  fight, 
take  care  of  William  Stallions  in  the  middle  of 
it,  and  see  who  has  the  wind  at  the  end."  As 
he  uttered  the  last  member  of  the  sentence  he 
looked  slyly  at  Bob's  friends  and  winked  very 
significantly  ;  whereupon  they  rushed,  with  one 
accord,  to  tell  Bob  what  Uncle  Tommy  had  said. 
As  they  retired,  the  squire  turned  to  Billy's 
friends  and  said,  with  a  smile,  (t  Them  boys 
think  I  mean  that  Bob  will  whip." 

Here  the  other  party  kindled  into  joy,  and 
hastened  to  inform  Billy  how  Bob's  friends  had 
deceived  themselves  as  to  Uncle  Tommy's  opin 
ion.  In  the  meantime  the  principals  and  seconds 
were  busily  employed  in  preparing  themselves  for 
the  combat.  The  plan  of  attack  and  defence, 
the  manner  of  improving  the  various  turns  of 
the  conflict,  "  the  best  mode  of  saving  wind,"  etc., 
etc.,  were  all  discussed  and  settled.  At  length 
Billy  announced  himself  ready,  and  his  crowd 
were  seen  moving  to  the  centre  of  the  Court 
house  Square,  he  and  his  five  seconds  in  the  rear. 


74  GEORGIA    SCENES 

At  the  same  time  Bob's  party  moved  to  the  same 
point,  and  in  the  same  order.  The  ring  was  now 
formed,  and  for  a  moment  the  silence  of  death 
reigned  through  both  battalions.  It  was  soon 
interrupted,  however,  by  the  cry  of  "  Clear  the 
way !"  from  Billy's  seconds,  when  the  ring  open 
ed  in  the  centre  of  the  upper  battalion  (for  the 
order  of  march  had  arranged  the  centre  of  the 
two  battalions  on  opposite  sides  of  the  circle), 
and  Billy  stepped  into  the  ring  from  the  east, 
followed  by  his  friends.  He  was  stripped  to  the 
trousers,  and  exhibited  an  arm,  breast,  and  shoul 
ders  of  the  most  tremendous  portent.  His  step 
was  firm,  daring,  and  martial ;  and  as  he  bore  his 
fine  form  a  little  in  advance  of  his  friends  an  in 
voluntary  burst  of  triumph  broke  from  his  side 
of  the  ring,  and  at  the  same  moment  an  uncon 
trollable  thrill  of  awe  ran  along  the  whole  curve 
of  the  lower  battalion. 

"Look  at  him  !"  was  heard  from  his  friends  ; 
"just  look  at  him!" 

"Ben,  how  much  you  ask  to  stand  before  that 
man  two  seconds  ?" 

"Pshaw,  don't  talk  about  it!  Just  thinkin' 
about  it  's  broke  three  o'  my  ribs  a'ready  \" 

"What's  Bob  Durham  going  to  do  when  Billy 
lets  that  arm  loose  upon  him  ?" 

"  God  bless  your  soul,  he'll  think  thunder  and 
lightning  a  mint-julep  to  it!" 

"Oh,  look  here,  men,  go  take  Bill  Stallions  out 
o'  that  ring,  and  bring  in  Phil  Johnson's  stud 
horse,  so  that  Durham  may  have  some  chance  !  I 
don't  want  to  see  the  man  killed  right  away." 


THE    FIGHT  75 

These  and  many  other  like  expressions,  in 
terspersed  thickly  with  oaths  of  the  most  mod 
ern  coinage.,  were  coming  from  all  points  of  the 
upper  battalion,  while  Bob  was  adjusting  the 
girth  of  his  pantaloons,  which  walking  had  dis 
covered  not  to  be  exactly  right.  It  was  just 
fixed  to  his  mind,  his  foes  becoming  a  little 
noisy,  and  his  friends  a  little  uneasy  at  his  de 
lay,  when  Billy  called  out,  with  a  smile  of  some 
meaning,  "Where's  the  bully  of  the  lower  bat 
talion  ?  Fm  getting  tired  of  waiting." 

"Here  he  is!"  said  Bob,  lighting  as  it  seemed 
from  the  clouds  into  the  ring,  for  he  had  act 
ually  bounded  clear  of  the  head  of  Ransy  Sniffle 
into  the  circle.  His  descent  was  quite  as  im 
posing  as  Billy's  entry,  and  excited  the  same 
feelings,  but  in  opposite  bosoms. 

Voices  of  exultation  now  rose  on  his  side. 

"  Where  did  he  come  from  ?" 

"Why/' said  one  of  his  seconds  (all  having 
just  entered),  "we  were  girting  him  up,  about 
a  hundred  yards  out  yonder,  when  he  heard 
Billy  ask  for  the  bully,  and  he  fetched  a  leap 
over  the  court-house  and  went  out  of  sight; 
but  I  told  them  to  come  on,  they'd  find  him 
here." 

Here  the  lower  battalion  burst  into  a  peal  of 
laughter,  mingled  with  a  look  of  admiration 
which  seemed  to  denote  their  entire  belief  of 
what  they  had  heard. 

"  Boys,  widen  the  ring,  so  as  to  give  him 
room  to  jump." 

"Oh,  my  little  flying  wild -cat,  hold  him  if 


76  GEORGIA    SCENES 

you  can  !  and,  when  you  get  him  fast,  hold 
lightning  next  \" 

"Ned,  what  do  you  think  he's  made  of  ?" 

"Steel  springs  and  chicken-hawk,  God  bless 
you  !" 

"  Gentlemen/7  said  one  of  Bob's  seconds,  "  I 
understand  it  is  to  be  a  fair  fight  —  catch  as 
catch  can,  rough  and  tumble  :  no  man  touch  till 
one  or  the  other  halloos." 

"  That's  the  rule,"  was  the  reply  from  the 
other  side. 

"  Are  you  ready  ?" 

"We  are  ready." 

"Then  blaze  away,  my  game-cocks  !" 

At  the  word,  Bob  dashed  at  his  antagonist  at 
full  speed,  and  Bill  squared  himself  to  receive 
him  with  one  of  his  most  fatal  blows.  Making 
his  calculation  from  Bob's  velocity  of  the  time 
when  he  would  come  within  striking  distance, 
he  let  drive  with  tremendous  force.  But  Bob's 
onset  was  obviously  planned  to  avoid  this  blow  ; 
for,  contrary  to  all  expectations,  he  stopped 
short  just  out  of  arm's  reach,  and  before  Billy 
could  recover  his  balance  Bob  had  him  "  all 
under-hold."  The  next  second,  sure  enough, 
"found  Billy's  head  where  his  feet  ought  to  be." 
How  it  was  done  no  one  could  tell ;  but,  as  if  by 
supernatural  power,  both  Billy's  feet  were  thrown 
full  half  his  own  height  in  the  air,  and  he  came 
down  with  a  force  that  seemed  to  shake  the 
earth.  As  he  struck  the  ground,  commingled 
shouts,  screams,  and  yells  burst  from  the  lower 
battalion,  loud  enough  to  be  heard  for  miles. 


THE    FIGHT  77 

"Hurrah,  my  little  hornet!"  "Save  him!" 
"Feed  him  I"  "Give  him  the  Durham  physic 
till  his  stomach  turns  !"  Billy  was  no  sooner 
down  than  Bob  was  on  him,  and  lending  him 
awful  blows  about  the  face  and  breast.  Billy 
made  two  efforts  to  rise  by  main  strength,,  but 
failed.  "  Lord  bless  you,  man,  don't  try  to 
get  up !  Lay  still  and  take  it !  You  Ueege  to 
have  it  I" 

Billy  now  turned  his  face  suddenly  to  the 
ground,  and  rose  upon  his  hands  and  knees. 
Bob  jerked  up  both  his  hands  and  threw  him  on 
his  face.  He  again  recovered  his  late  position,  of 
which  Bob  endeavored  to  deprive  him  as  before  ; 
but,  missing  one  arm,  he  failed,  and  Billy  rose. 
But  he  had  scarcely  resumed  his  feet  before  they 
flew  up  as  before,  and  he  came  again  to  the 
ground.  "  No  fight,  gentlemen  !"  cried  Bob's 
friends;  "the  man  can't  stand  up!  Bouncing 
feet  are  bad  things  to  fight  in."  His  fall,  how 
ever,  was  this  time  comparatively  light ;  for, 
having  thrown  his  right  arm  round  Bob's  neck, 
he  carried  his  head  down  with  him.  This  grasp, 
which  was  obstinately  maintained,  prevented  Bob 
from  getting  on  him,  and  they  lay  head  to  head, 
seeming,  for  a  time,  to  do  nothing.  Presently 
they  rose,  as  if  by  mutual  consent ;  and  as  they 
rose  a  shout  burst  from  both  battalions.  "  Oh, 
my  lark  !"  cried  the  east,  "has  he  foxed  you  ? 
Do  you  begin  to  feel  him  !  He's  only  beginning 
to  fight ;  he  ain't  got  warm  yet." 

"  Look  yonder  !"  cried  the  west.  "  Didn't  I  tell 
you  so  ?  He  hit  the  ground  so  hard  it  jarred  his 


78  GEORGIA    SCENES 

nose  off.  Now  ain't  he  a  pretty  man  as  he  stands  ? 
He  shall  have  my  sister  Sal,  just  for  his  pretty 
looks.  I  want  to  get  in  the  breed  of  them  sort 
o'  men,  to  drive  ugly  out  of  my  kinfolks." 

I  looked,  and  saw  that  Bob  had  entirely  lost 
his  left  ear  and  a  large  piece  from  his  left  cheek. 
His  right  eye  was  a  little  discolored,  and  the 
blood  flowed  profusely  from  his  wounds. 

Bill  presented  a  hideous  spectacle.  About  a 
third  of  his  nose,  at  the  lower  extremity,  was  bit 
off,  and  his  face  so  swelled  and  bruised  that  it 
was  difficult  to  discover  in  it  anything  of  the  hu 
man  visage,  much  more  the  fine  features  which 
he  carried  into  the  ring. 

They  were  up  only  long  enough  for  me  to 
make  the  foregoing  discoveries,  when  down  they 
went  again,  precisely  as  before.  They  no  sooner 
touched  the  ground  than  Bill  relinquished  his 
hold  upon  Bob's  neck.  In  this  he  seemed  to  all 
to  have  forfeited  the  only  advantage  which  put 
him  upon  an  equality  with  his  adversary.  But 
the  movement  was  soon  explained.  Bill  wanted 
this  arm  for  other  purposes  than  defence  ;  and  he 
had  made  arrangements  whereby  he  knew  that 
he  could  make  it  answer  these  purposes  ;  for 
when  they  rose  again  he  had  the  middle  finger 
of  Bob's  left  hand  in  his  mouth.  He  was  now 
secure  from  Bob's  annoying  trips  ;  and  he  began 
to  lend  his  adversary  tremendous  blows,  every 
one  of  which  was  hailed  by  a  shout  from  his 
friends:  "Bullets!"  "#bss-kicking  !"  "Thun 
der!"  "That'll  do  for  his  face;  noAv  feel  his 
short  ribs,  Billy  !" 


THE    FIGHT  79 

I  now  considered  the  contest  settled.  I  deem 
ed  it  impossible  for  any  human  being  to  with 
stand  for  five  seconds  the  loss  of  blood  which 
issued  from  Bob's  ear,  cheek,  nose,  and  finger, 
accompanied  with  such  blows  as  he  was  receiv 
ing.  Still  he  maintained  the  conflict,  and  gave 
blow  for  blow  with  considerable  effect.  But  the 
blows  of  each  became  slower  and  weaker  after 
the  first  three  or  four  ;  and  it  became  obvious 
that  Bill  wanted  the  room  which  BoVs  finger 
occupied  for  breathing.  He  would  therefore, 
probably,  in  a  short  time,  have  let  it  go,  had  not 
Bob  anticipated  his  politeness  by  jerking  away 
his  hand  and  making  him  a  present  of  the  finger. 
He  now  seized  Bill  again,  and  brought  him  to  his 
knees,  but  he  recovered.  He  again  brought  him 
to  his  knees,  and  he  again  recovered.  A  third 
effort,  however,  brought  him  down,  and  Bob  on 
top  of  him.  These  efforts  seemed  to  exhaust  the 
little  remaining  strength  of  both  ;  and  they  lay, 
Bill  undermost  and  Bob  across  his  breast,  mo 
tionless  and  panting  for  breath.  After  a  short 
pause  Bob  gathered  his  hand  full  of  dirt  and 
sand  and  was  in  the  act  of  grinding  it  in  his 
adversary's  eyes  when  Bill  cried,  "  Enough  I" 
Language  cannot  describe  the  scene  that  follow 
ed — the  shouts,  oaths,  frantic  gestures,  taunts, 
replies,  and  little  fights — and  therefore  I  shall 
not  attempt  it.  The  champions  were  borne  off  by 
their  seconds  and  washed  ;  when  many  a  bleed 
ing  wound  and  ugly  bruise  was  discovered  on 
each  which  no  eye  had  seen  before. 

Many  had  gathered  round  Bob,  and  were  in 


80  GEORGIA    SCENES 

various  ways  congratulating  and  applauding  him, 
when  a  voice  from  the  centre  of  the  circle  cried 
out,  "  Boys,  hush,  and  listen  to  me  \"  It  pro 
ceeded  from  Squire  Loggins,  who  had  made  his 
way  to  Bob's  side,  and  had  gathered  his  face  up 
into  one  of  its  most  nattering  and  intelligible 
expressions.  All  were  obedient  to  the  squire's 
command.  il  Gentlemen/'  continued  he,  with 
a  most  knowing  smile,  "is — Sammy — Eeynold— 
in — this — company — of — gentlemen  ?" 

"Yes,"  said  Sam,  "here  I  am." 

"Sammy,"  said  the  squire,  winking  to  the 
company  and  drawing  the  head  of  his  cane  to 
his  mouth  with  an  arch  smile  as  he  closed,  "  I — 
wish — you — to  tell — Cousin — Bobby — and — these 
— gentlemen  here  present — what — your — Uncle 
— Tommy — said — before — the — fight — began  ?" 

"Oh,  get  away,  Uncle  Tom,"  said  Sam,  smil 
ing  (the  squire  winked),  "you  don't  know  noth 
ing  about  fighting."  (The  squire  winked  again.) 
"All  you  know  about  it  is  how  it'll  begin,  how 
it'll  go  on,  how  it'll  end  ;  that's  all.  Cousin 
Bob,  when  you  going  to  fight  again,  just  go  to 
the  old  man,  and  let  him  tell  you  all  about  it. 
If  he  can't,  don't  ask  nobody  else  nothing  about 
it,  I  tell  you." 

The  squire's  foresight  was  complimented  in 
many  ways  by  the  by-standers  ;  and  he  retired, 
advising  "the  boys  to  be  at  peace,  as  fighting 
was  a  bad  business." 

Durham  and  Stallings  kept  their  beds  for 
several  weeks,  and  did  not  meet  again  for  two 
months.  When  they  met,  Billy  stepped  up  to 


THE    FIGHT  81 

Bob  and  offered  his  hand,  saying,  "  Bobby, 
you've  licked  me  a  fair  fight ;  but  you  wouldn't 
have  done  it  if  I  hadn't  been  in  the  wrong.  I 
oughtn't  to  have  treated  your  wife  as  I  did ;  and 
I  felt  so  through  the  whole  fight ;  and  it  sort  o' 
cowed  me." 

"  Well,  Billy,"  said  Bob,  "let's  be  friends. 
Once  in  the  fight,  when  you  had  my  finger  in 
your  mouth,  and  was  pealing  me  in  the  face  and 
breast,  I  was  going  to  halloo  ;  but  I  thought  of 
Petsy,  and  knew  the  house  would  be  too  hot  for 
me  if  I  got  whipped  when  fighting  for  her,  after 
always  whipping  when  I  fought  for  myself." 

"Now  that's  what  I  always  love  to  see,"  said 
a  by-stander.  "It's  true  I  brought  about  the 
fight,  but  I  wouldn't  have  done  it  if  it  hadn't  'a' 
been  on  account  of  Miss  (Mrs.)  Durham.  But 
clod  etarnally  darn  my  soul  if  I  ever  could  stand 
by  and  see  any  woman  put  upon,  much  less  Miss 
Durham  !  If  Bobby  hadn't  been  there  I'd  'a* 
took  it  up  myself,  be  darned  if  I  wouldn't,  even 
if  I'd  'a'  got  whipped  for  it!  But  we're  all  friends 
now."  The  reader  need  hardly  be  told  that  this 
was  Ransy  Sniffle. 

Thanks  to  the  Christian  religion,  to  schools, 
colleges,  and  benevolent  associations,  such  scenes 
of  barbarism  and  cruelty  as  that  which  I  have 
been  just  describing  are  now  of  rare  occurrence, 
though  they  may  still  be  occasionally  met  with 
in  some  of  the  new  counties.  Wherever  they 
prevail  they  are  a  disgrace  to  that  community. 
The  peace  -  officers  who  countenance  them  de 
serve  a  place  in  the  penitentiary. 

e  HALL. 


THE    SONG 

IT  is  not  to  avoid  the  malediction  of  Shake 
speare  upon  "the  man  that  hath  no  music  in 
himself,  nor  is  not  mov'd  with  concord  of  sweet 
sounds,"  that  I  profess  to  be  fond  of  music  ;  but 
because  I  am,  in  truth,  extravagantly  fond  of  it. 
But  I  am  not  fond  of  French  music  ;  and  as  for 
the  Italian,  I  think  that  any  one  who  will  dare 
to  inflict  it  upon  an  American  ear  ought  to  be 
sent  to  the  penitentiary  without  a  trial.  It  is 
true  that  some  of  the  simple  national  French 
airs  are  very  fine;  but  there  is  not  one  in  a 
thousand  Italian  tunes,  simple  or  compound, 
which  is  not  manslaughter.  The  German  com 
positions  are  decidedly  the  best  from  the  Con 
tinent  of  Europe  ;  but  even  these  are,  of  late, 
partaking  so  much  of  the  vices  of  France  and 
Italy  that  they  have  become  scarcely  sufferable. 
As  yet,  however,  they  may  be  safely  admitted 
into  a  land  of  liberty  and  sense.  Scotland  has  es 
caped  the  corruptions  which  have  crept  into  the 
empire  of  music,  and,  consequently,  her  music 
recommends  itself,  with  irresistible  charms,  to 
every  ear  which  is  not  vitiated  by  the  senseless 
rattle  of  the  Continent.  Ireland  is  a  little  more 
contaminated;  but  still  her  compositions  retain 


THE   SONG  83 

enough  of  their  primitive  simplicity  and  sweet 
ness  to  entitle  them  to  the  patronage  of  all  who 
would  cultivate  a  correct  taste  in  this  interest 
ing  department  of  the  fine  arts.  I  would  not 
be  understood  as  speaking  here  without  any  lim 
itations  or  restrictions  ;  but  I  do  maintain  that, 
with  some  few  exceptions,  all  of  the  soul  of  music 
which  is  now  left  in  the  world  is  to  be  found  in 
Scotland  or  Ireland. 

But  Germans,  Frenchmen,  and  Italians  are 
decidedly  the  best — that  is,  the  most  expert — per 
formers  in  the  world.  They  perform  all  over 
the  world,  and,  in  order  to  exhibit  themselves 
to  the  best  advantage,  they  select  the  most  dif 
ficult  and  complicated  pieces.  The  people  at 
large  presume  that  the  best  performers  must  be 
the  best  judges  of  music,  and  must  make  the 
best  selections ;  they  therefore  forego  the  trouble 
of  forming  an  opinion  of  their  own,  and  pin 
their  faith  upon  the  decisions,  or  rather  the 
practice,  of  the  amateurs.  It  was  somehow  in 
this  way,  I  presume,  that  the  fashionable  music  of 
the  day  first  obtained  currency.  Having  become 
prevalent,  it  has  become  tolerable  ;  just  as  has 
the  use  of  tobacco  or  ardent  spirits.  And,  while 
upon  this  head,  I  would  earnestly  recommend  to 
the  friends  of  reform  in  our  favored  country  to 
establish  an  "  Anti-mad-music  Society,"  in  or 
der  to  suppress,  if  possible,  the  cruelties  of  our 
modern  musical  entertainments. 

If  the  instrumental  music  of  France  and  Italy 
be  bad,  their  vocal  music  is,  if  possible,  a  thou 
sand  times  worse.  Neither  the  English  nor  the 


84  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Georgia  language  furnishes  me  with  a  term  ex 
pressive  of  the  horrors  of  a  French  or  Italian 
song  as  it  is  agonized  forth  by  one  of  their  pro 
fessed  singers.  The  law  should  make  it  justi 
fiable  homicide  in  any  man  to  kill  an  Italian  in 
the  very  act  of  inflicting  an  il  penseroso  upon  a 
refined  American  ear. 

And  yet,  with  all  the  other  European  abomina 
tions  which  have  crept  into  our  highly  favored 
country,  the  French  and  Italian  style  of  singing 
and  playing  has  made  its  way  hither ;  and  it  is 
not  uncommon  to  hear  our  boarding  -  school 
misses  piping  away,  not  merely  in  the  style,  but 
in  the  very  language,  of  these  nations.  This  I 
can  bear  very  well  if  there  happen  to  be  a  French 
man  or  an  Italian  present,  because  I  know  that 
he  suffers  more  from  the  ivords  than  I  do  from 
the  music ;  for  I  confess  that  upon  such  occa 
sions  I  feel  something  of  the  savage  malignity 
which  visits  the  sins  of  a  nation  upon  any  of  its 
citizens.  But  it  most  frequently  happens  that  I 
am  put  to  the  tortures  of  which  I  have  been 
speaking  without  this  mitigation.  It  was  thus 

with  me  a  few  evenings  ago  at  Mrs.  B 's 

party. 

Tea  had  been  disposed  of,  and  the  nonsensical 
chit-chat  of  such  occasions  had  begun  to  flag, 
when  I  invited  Miss  Mary  Williams  to  the  piano. 
She  rose  promptly  at  my  request,  without  any 
affected  airs,  and  with  no  other  apology  than 
that  "she  felt  some  diffidence  at  playing  in  the 
presence  of  Miss  Crump."  The  piano  was  an  ad 
mirable  one,  and  its  tones  were  exquisitely  fine. 


THE    SONG  85 

Mary  seated  herself  at  it,  and,  after  a  short  but 
beautiful  prelude,  she  commenced  one  of  Burns's 
plaintive  songs,  to  a  tune  which  was  new  to  me, 
but  which  was  obviously  from  the  poet's  own 
land,  and  by  one  who  felt  the  inspiration  of  his 
verse.  The  composer  and  the  poet  were  both 
honored  by  the  performer.  Mary's  voice  was  in 
imitably  fine.  Her  enunciation  was  clear  and 
distinct,  with  just  emphasis  enough  to  give  the 
verse  its  appropriate  expression  without  inter 
rupting  the  melody  of  the  music,  and  her  modu 
lations  were  perfect. 

She  had  closed,  and  was  in  the  act  of  rising, 
before  I  awoke  from  the  delightful  reverie  into 
which  she  had  lulled  me.  I  arrested  her,  how 
ever,  and  insisted  upon  her  proceeding ;  when 
she  gave  me  one  of  Allan  Ramsay's  best,  to  meas 
ure  equally  appropriate.  This  she  followed  with 
TannahilFs  "  Gloomy  Winter's  now  awa/'and  was 
again  retiring,  when  my  friend  Hall  observed, 
"See,  Miss  Mary,  you've  brought  a  tear  to  Mr. 
Baldwin's  eye,  and  you  must  not  cease  until  you 
chase  it  away  with  some  lively  air."  My  friend 
was  right.  The  touching  pathos  of  Mary's  voice, 
conspiring  with  a  train  of  reflections  which  the 
song  inspired,  had  really  brought  me  to  tears.  I 
thought  of  poor  TannahilFs  fate.  He  was  the 
victim  of  a  bookseller's  stupidity.  With  men  of 
taste  and  letters  his  fugitive  pieces,  particularly 
his  lyrics,  had  gained  him  a  well-deserved  repu 
tation  ;  but  he  was  not  exempt  from  the  common 
lot  of  authors.  He  was  attacked  by  the  ignorant 
and  the  invidious  ;  and,  with  the  hopeless  design 


86  GEORGIA    SCENES 

of  silencing  these,  he  prepared  a  volume  or  more 
of  his  poems  with  great  care,  and  sent  them  to 
a  bookseller  for  publication.  After  the  lapse  of 
several  weeks  they  were  returned  without  a  com 
pliment  or  an  offer  for  them.  The  mortifica 
tion  and  disappointment  were  too  severe  for  his 
reason.  It  deserted  him,  and  soon  after  he  was 
found  dead  in  a  tunnel  of  the  burn  which  had 
been  the  scene  of  one  of  his  earliest  songs.  Un 
fortunately,  in  his  madness  he  destroyed  his  fa 
vorite  works. 

Such  was  the  train  of  reflection  from  which 
Mary  was  kind  enough,  at  the  request  of  my 
friend,  to  relieve  me  by  a  lively  Irish  air.  Had 
it  not  been  admirably  selected,  I  could  hardly 
have  borne  the  transition.  But  there  was  enough 
of  softening  melody,  mingled  with  the  sprightli- 
ness  of  the  air,  to  lead  me  gently  to  a  gayer  mood, 
in  which  she  left  me. 

In  the  meantime  most  of  the  young  ladies  and 
gentlemen  had  formed  a  circle  round  Miss  Aure- 
lia  Emma  Theodosia  Augusta  Crump,  and  were 
earnestly  engaged  in  pressing  her  to  play.  One 
young  lady  even  went  so  far  as  to  drop  on  her 
knees  before  her,  and  in  this  posture  to  beseech 
"her  dear  Augusta  just  to  play  the  delightful 
overture  of  -  — ,"  something  that  sounded  to  me 
like  "Blaze  in  the  frets."  This  petition  was 
urged  with  such  a  melting  sweetness  of  voice, 
such  a  bewitching  leer  at  the  gentlemen,  and 
such  a  theatric  heave  of  the  bosom,  that  it  threw 
the  young  gentlemen  into  transports.  Hall  was 
rude  enough  to  whisper  in  mine  ear  "that  he 


THE    SONG  87 

thought  it  indelicate  to  expose  an  unmantled 
bosom  to  a  perpendicular  view  of  a  large  compa 
ny";  and  he  muttered  something  about  "repub 
lican  simplicity,"  I  knew  not  exactly  what.  But 
I  assured  him  the  fair  petitioner  was  so  over 
come  by  her  solicitude  for  the  overture  that  she 
thought  of  nothing  else,  and  was  wholly  uncon 
scious  that  there  was  a  gentleman  in  the  room. 
As  to  his  insinuation  about  "points  of  view,"  I 
convinced  him  by  an  easy  argument  that  it  was 
wholly  unfounded  ;  for  that  this  was  the  very 
point  of  view  in  which  an  exposed  neck  must 
always  be  seen  while  men  continue  taller  than 
women  ;  and  that,  as  the  young  lady  must  have 
been  apprised  of  this,  she  would  hardly  take  so 
much  trouble  for  nothing.  But  to  return. 

Miss  Crump  was  inexorable.  She  declared 
that  she  was  entirely  out  of  practice.  "  She 
scarcely  ever  touched  the  piano";  "Mamma 
was  always  scolding  her  for  giving  so  much  of 
her  time  to  French  and  Italian,  and  neglecting 
her  music  and  painting  ;  but  she  told  mamma 
the  other  day  that  it  really  was  so  irksome  to  her 
to  quit  Eacine  and  Dante  and  go  to  thrumming 
upon  the  piano  that,  but  for  the  obligations  of 
filial  obedience,  she  did  not  think  she  should 
ever  touch  it  again." 

Here  Mrs.  Crump  was  kind  enough,  by  the 
merest  accident  in  the  world,  to  interpose,  and 
to  relieve  the  company  from  further  anxiety. 

"Augusta,  my  dear,"  said  she,  "go  and  play 
a  tune  or  two  ;  the  company  will  excuse  your 
hoarseness." 


88  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Miss  Crump  rose  immediately  at  her  mother's 
bidding  and  moved  to  the  piano,  accompanied 
by  a  large  group  of  smiling  faces. 

"  Poor  child/'  said  Mrs.  Crump  as  she  went 
forward,  "she  is  frightened  to  death.  I  wish 
Augusta  could  overcome  her  diffidence/' 

Miss  Crump  was  educated  at  Philadelphia  ; 
she  had  been  taught  to  sing  by  Madame  Piggi- 
squeaki,  who  was  a  pupil  of  Ma'm'selle  Croki- 
froggietta,  who  had  sung  with  Madame  Catala- 
ni ;  and  she  had  taken  lessons  on  the  piano  from 
Signor  Buzzifussi,  who  had  played  with  Paga- 
nini. 

She  seated  herself  at  the  piano,  rocked  to  the 
right,  then  to  the  left,  leaned  forward,  then 
backward,  and  began.  She  placed  her  right 
hand  about  midway  the  keys,  and  her  left  about 
two  octaves  below  it.  She  now  put  off  to  the 
right  in  a  brisk  canter  up  the  treble  notes,  and 
the  left  after  it.  The  left  then  led  the  way 
back,  and  the  right  pursued  it  in  like  manner. 
The  right  turned,  and  repeated  its  first  move 
ment  ;  but  the  left  outran  it  this  time,  hopped 
over  it,  and  flung  it  entirely  off  the  track.  It 
came  in  again,  however,  behind  the  left  on  its 
return,  and  passed  it  in  the  same  style.  They 
now  became  highly  incensed  at  each  other,  and 
met  furiously  on  the  middle  ground.  Here  a 
most  awful  conflict  ensued  for  about  the  space 
of  ten  seconds,  when  the  right  whipped  off  all 
of  a  sudden,  as  I  thought,  fairly  vanquished. 
But  I  was  in  the  error  against  which  Jack  Ran 
dolph  cautions  us:  "It  had  only  fallen  back 


THE    SONG 


to  a  stronger  position."  It  mounted  upon  two 
black  keys,  and  commenced  the  note  of  a  rattle 
snake.  This  had  a  wonderful  effect  upon  the 
left,  and  placed  the  doctrine  of  "  snake-charm 
ing  "beyond  dispute.  The  left  rushed  furious 
ly  towards  it  repeatedly,  but  seemed  invariably 
panic-struck  when  it  came  within  six  keys  of  it, 
and  as  invariably  retired  with  a  tremendous 
roaring  down  the  bass  keys.  It  continued  its 
assaults,  sometimes  by  the  way  of  the  naturals, 
sometimes  by  the  way  of  the  sharps,  and  some 
times  by  a  zigzag  through  both  ;  but  all  its  at 
tempts  to  dislodge  the  right  from  its  stronghold 
proving  ineffectual,  it  came  close  up  to  its  ad 
versary  and  expired. 

Any  one,  or  rather  no  one,  can  imagine  what 
kind  of  noises  the  piano  gave  forth  during  the 
conflict.  Certain  it  is  no  one  can  describe 
them,  and,  therefore,  I  shall  not  attempt  it. 

The  battle  ended,  Miss  Augusta  moved  as 
though  she  would  have  arisen,  but  this  was 
protested  against  by  a  number  of  voices  at  once  : 
"One  song,  my  dear  Aurelia,"  said  Miss  Small ; 
"  you  must  sing  that  sweet  little  French  air  you 
used  to  sing  in  Philadelphia,  and  which  Madame 
Piggisqueaki  was  so  fond  of." 

Miss  Augusta  looked  pitifully  at  her  mamma, 
and  her  mamma  looked  "sing"  at  Miss  Augusta; 
accordingly,  she  squared  herself  for  a  song. 

She  brought  her  hands  to  the  campus  this 
time  in  fine  style,  and  they  seemed  now  to  be 
perfectly  reconciled  to  each  other.  They  com 
menced  a  kind  of  colloquy  ;  the  right  whisper- 


90  GEORGIA    SCENES 

ing  treble  very  softly,  and  the  left  responding 
bass  very  loudly.  The  conference  had  been  kept 
np  until  I  began  to  desire  a  change  of  the  sub 
ject,  when  my  ear  caught,  indistinctly,  some 
verv  curious  sounds,  which  appeared  to  proceed 
from  the  lips  of  Miss  Augusta  :  they  seemed  to 
be  compounded  of  a  dry  cough,  a  grunt,  a  hic 
cough,  and  a  whisper  ;  and  they  were  introduced, 
it  appeared  to  me,  as  interpreters  between  the 
right  and  left.  Things  progressed  in  this  way 
for  about  the  space  of  fifteen  seconds,  when  1 
happened  to  direct  my  attention  to  Mr.  Jenkins 
from  Philadelphia.  His  eyes  were  closed,  his 
head  rolled  gracefully  from  side  to  side  ;  a  beam 
of  heavenly  complacency  rested  upon  his  coun 
tenance  ;  and  his  whole  man  gave  irresistible 
demonstration  that  Miss  Crump's  music  made 
him  feel  good  all  over.  I  had  just  turned 
from  the  contemplation  of  Mr.  Jenkins's  trans 
ports,  to  see  whether  I  could  extract  from  the 
performance  anything  intelligible,  when  Miss 
Crump  made  a  fly-catching  grab  at  half  a  dozen 
keys  in  a  row,  and  at  the  same  instant  she 
fetched  a  long,  dunghill-cock  crow,  at  the  con 
clusion  of  which  she  grabbed  as  many  keys 
with  the  left.  This  came  over  Jenkins  like  a 
warm  bath,  and  over  me  like  a  rake  of  bamboo 
briers. 

My  nerves  had  not  recovered  from  this  shock 
before  Miss  Augusta  repeated  the  movement,  and 
accompanied  it  with  a  squall  of  a  pinched  cat. 
This  threw  me  into  an  ague  fit ;  but,  from  respect 
to  the  performer,  I  maintained  my  position.  She 


THE    SONG  91 

now  made  a  third  grasp  with  the  right,  boxed 
the  faces  of  six  keys  in  a  row  with  the  left,,  and 
at  the  same  time  raised  one  of  the  most  unearth 
ly  howls  that  ever  issued  from  the  throat  of  a  hu 
man  being.  This  seemed  the  signal  for  universal 
uproar  and  destruction.  She  now  threw  away 
all  reserve,  and  charged  the  piano  with  her  whole 
force.  She  boxed  it,  she  clawed  it,  she  raked  it, 
she  scraped  it.  Her  neck-vein  swelled,  her  chin 
flew  up,  her  face  flushed,  her  eye  glared,  her 
bosom  heaved  ;  she  screamed,  she  howled,  she 
yelled,  cackled,  and  was  in  the  act  of  dwelling 
upon  the  note  of  a  screech-owl,  when  I  took  the 
St.  Vitus's  dance  and  rushed  out  of  the  room. 
"Good  Lord/'  said  a  by-stander,  "if  this  be  her 
xinging,  what  must  her  crying  be  !"  As  I  reached 
the  door  I  heard  a  voice  exclaim,  "By  heavens  ! 
she's  the  most  enchanting  performer  I  ever  heard 
in  my  life  !"  I  turned  to  see  who  was  the  author 
of  this  ill-timed  compliment,  and  who  should  it 
be  but  Nick  Truck,  from  Lincoln,  who  seven 
years  before  was  dancing  "  Possum  up  the  Gum- 
tree"  in  the  chimney-corner  of  his  fathers  kitch 
en.  Nick  had  entered  the  counting-room  of  a 
merchant  in  Charleston  some  five  or  six  years 
before,  had  been  sent  out  as  supercargo  of 
a  vessel  to  Bordeaux,  and,  while  the  vessel  was 
delivering  one  cargo  and  taking  in  another, 
had  contracted  a  wonderful  relish  for  French 
music. 

As  for  myself,  1  went  home  in  convulsions, 
took  sixty  drops  of  laudanum,  and  fell  asleep. 
I  dreamed  that  I  was  in  a  beautiful  city,  the 


92  GEORGIA    SCENES 

streets  of  which  intersected  each  other  at  right 
angles  ;  that  the  birds  of  the  air  and  the  beasts 
of  the  forest  had  gathered  there  for  battle — the 
former  led  on  by  a  Frenchman,  the  latter  by  an 
Italian  ;  that  I  was  looking  on  their  movements 
towards  each  other,  when  I  heard  the  cry  of  "  Hec 
ate  is  coming  !"  I  turned  my  eye  to  the  north 
east,  and  saw  a  female  flying  through  the  air 
towards  the  city,  and  distinctly  recognized  in  her 
the  features  of  Miss  Crump.  I  took  the  alarm 
and  was  making  my  escape  when  she  gave  com 
mand  for  the  beasts  and  birds  to  fall  on  me. 
They  did  so,  and,  with  all  the  noises  of  the  ani 
mal  world,  were  in  the  act  of  tearing  me  to  pieces 
when  I  was  waked  by  the  stepping  of  Hall,  my 
room-mate,  into  bed. 

"Oh,  my  dear  sir,"  exclaimed  I,  "you  have 
waked  me  from  a  horrible  dream  !  What  o'clock 
is  it  ?" 

"  Ten  minutes  after  twelve,"  said  he. 

"And  where  have  you  been  to  this  late 
hour  ?" 

"I  have  just  returned  from  the  party." 

"And  what  kept  you  so  late  ?" 

"Why,  I  disliked  to  retire  while  Miss  Crump 
was  playing." 

"In  mercy's  name!"  said  I,  "is  she  playing 
yet  ?" 

"Yes,"  said  he  ;  "I  had  to  leave  her  playing 
at  last." 

"  And  where  was  Jenkins  ?" 

"He  was  there,  still  in  ecstasies,  and  urging 
her  to  play  on." 


THE    SONG  93 

"  And  where  was  Truck  ?" 

"He  was  asleep." 

"And  what  was  she  playing  ?" 

"An  Italian—" 

Here  I  swooned,  and  heard  no  more. 

BALDWIN. 


THE    TURNOUT 

IN"  the  good  old  days  of  fescues,  abisselfas,  and 
anpersants,*  terms  which  used  to  be  familiar  in 
this  country  during  the  Revolutionary  War,  and 
which  lingered  in  some  of  our  country  schools 
for  a  few  years  afterwards,  I  visited  my  friend 
Captain  Griffen,  who  resided  about  seven  miles 
to  the  eastward  of  Wrightsborough,  then  in  Rich 
mond,  but  now  in  Columbia,  County.  I  reached 
the  captain's  hospitable  dome  on  Easter,  and  was 
received  by  him  and  his  good  lady  with  a  Georgia 
welcome  of  1790.  It  was  warm  from  the  heart, 
and  taught  me  in  a  moment  that  the  obligations 
of  the  visit  were  upon  their  side,  not  mine.  Such 
receptions  were  not  peculiar  at  that  time  to 

*  The  fescue  was  a  sharpened  wire  or  other  instrument 
used  by  the  preceptor  to  point  out  the  letters  to  the  chil 
dren. 

Abisselfa  is  a  contraction  of  the  words  "a  by  itself,  a." 
It  was  usual,  when  either  of  the  vowels  constituted  a  syl 
lable  of  a  word,  to  pronounce  it,  and  denote  its  indepen 
dent  character  by  the  words  just  mentioned,  thus  :  "  a  by 
itself,  «-c-o-r-n  corn,  acorn,"  "e  by  itself,  e-v-i-1,  evil,"  etc. 

The  character  which  stands  for  the  word  "and"  (&) 
was  probably  pronounced  by  the  same  accompaniment, 
but  in  terms  borrowed  from  the  Latin  language,  thus  : 
"  &  per  se"  (by  itself)  &.  Hence  "  anpersant." 


THE    TURNOUT  95 

the  captain  and  bis  family  ;  they  were  common 
throughout  the  State.  Where  are  they  now  ?  and 
where  the  generous  hospitalities  which  invariably 
followed  them  ?  I  see  them  occasionally  at  the 
contented  farmer's  door  and  at  his  festive  board, 
but  when  they  shall  have  taken  leave  of  these 
Georgia  will  know  them  110  more. 

The  day  was  consumed  in  the  interchange  of 
news  between  the  captain  and  myself  (though,  I 
confess,  it  might  have  been  better  employed),  and 
the  night  found  us  seated  round  a  temporary  fire, 
which  the  captain's  sons  had  kindled  up  for  the 
purpose  of  dyeing  eggs.  It  was  a  common  custom 
of  those  days  with  boys  to  dye  and  peck  eggs  on 
Easter  Sunday  and  for  a  few  days  afterwards. 
They  were  colored  according  to  the  fancy  of  the 
dyer — some  yellow,  some  green,  some  purple,  and 
some  with  a  variety  of  colors  borrowed  from  a 
piece  of  calico.  They  Avere  not  nnfrequently 
beautified  with  a  taste  and  skill  which  would 
have  extorted  a  compliment  from  Ilezekiah  Niles 
if  he  had  seen  them  a  year  ago  in  the  hands  of 
the  "young  operatives "  in  some  of  the  Northern 
manufactories.  No  sooner  was  the  work  of  dying 
finished  than  our  "young  operatives"  sallied 
forth  to  stake  the  whole  proceeds  of  their  "do 
mestic  industry"  upon  a  peck.  Egg  was  struck 
against  egg,  point  to  point,  and  the  egg  that  was 
broken  was  given  up  as  lost  to  the  owner  of  the 
one  which  came  whole  from  the  shock. 

While  the  boys  were  busily  employed  in  the 
manner  just  mentioned,  the  captain's  youngest 
son,  George,  gave  us  an  anecdote  highly  descrip- 


96  GEORGIA    SCENES 

tive  of  the  Yankee  and  Georgia  character,  even 
in  their  buddings  and  at  this  early  date.  "What 
you  think,  pa,"  said  he,  "Zeph  Pettibone  went 
and  got  his  uncle  Zach  to  turn  him  a  wooden 
egg,  and  he  won  a  whole  hatful  o'  eggs  from  all 
us  boys  'fore  we  found  it  out ;  but  when  we 
found  it  out  maybe  John  Brown  didn't  smoke 
him  for  it,  and  took  away  all  his  eggs,  and  give 
'em  back  to  us  boys  ;  and  you  think  he  didn't  go 
then  and  git  a  guinea-egg,  and  win  most  as  many 
more,  and  John  Brown  would  o'  give  it  to  him 
agin  if  all  we  boys  hadn't  said  we  thought  it  was 
fair.  I  never  see  such  a  boy  as  that  Zepli  Petti- 
bone  in  all  my  life.  He  don't  mind  whipping  no 
more  'an  nothing  at  all,  if  he  can  win  eggs." 

This  anecdote,  however,  only  fell  in  by  acci 
dent,  for  there  was  an  all-absorbing  subject  which 
occupied  the  minds  of  the  boys  during  the  whole 
evening,  of  which  I  could  occasionally  catch  dis 
tant  hints  in  undertones  and  whispers,  but  of 
which  I  could  make  nothing,  until  they  were  af 
terwards  explained  by  the  captain  himself — such 
as,  "I'll  be  bound  Pete  Jones  and  Bill  Smith 
stretches  him";  "'By  Jockey,  soon  as  they  seize 
him,  you'll  see  me  down  upon  him  like  a  duck 
upon  a  June-bug";  "By  the  time  he  touches 
the  ground  he'll  think  he's  got  into  a  hornet's 
nest,"  etc. 

"  The  boys,"  said  the  captain,  as  they  retired, 
"are  going  to  turn  out  the  schoolmaster  to 
morrow,  and  you  can  perceive  they  think  of 
nothing  else.  We  must  go  over  to  the  school- 
house  and  witness  the  contest,  in  order  to  pre- 


THE    TURNOUT  97 

vent  injury  to  preceptor  or  pupils ;  for  though 
the  master  is  always  upon  such  occasions  glad 
to  be  turned  out,  and  only  struggles  long  enough 
to  present  his  patrons  a  fair  apology  for  giving 
the  children  a  holiday,,  which  he  desires  as  much 
as  they  do,  the  boys  always  conceive  a  holiday 
gained  by  a  "turnout"  as  the  sole  achievement 
of  their  valor  ;  and,  in  their  zeal  to  distinguish 
themselves  upon  such  memorable  occasions, 
they  sometimes  become  too  rough,  provoke  the 
master  to  wrath,  and  a  very  serious  conflict 
ensues.  To  prevent  these  consequences,  to  bear 
witness  that  the  master  was  forced  to  yield  be 
fore  he  would  withhold  a  day  of  his  promised 
labor  from  his  employers,  and  to  act  as  a  media 
tor  between  him  and  the  boys  in  settling  the  ar 
ticles  of  peace,  I  always  attend  ;  and  you  must 
accompany  me  to-morrow/'  I  cheerfully  prom 
ised  to  do  so. 

The  captain  and  I  rose  before  the  sun,  but  the 
boys  had  risen  and  were  off  to  the  school-house 
before  the  dawn.  After  an  early  breakfast,  hur 
ried  by  Mrs.  Gr.  for  our  accommodation,  my  host 
and  myself  took  up  our  line  of  march  towards 
the  school-house.  'We  reached  it  about  half  an 
hour  before  the  master  arrived,  but  not  before 
the  boys  had  completed  its  fortifications.  It 
was  a  simple  log-pen,  about  twenty  feet  square, 
with  a  doorway  cut  out  of  the  logs,  to  which 
was  fitted  a  rude  door  made  of  clapboards  and 
swung  on  wooden  hinges.  The  roof  was  covered 
with  clapboards  also,  and  retained  in  their  places 
by  heavy  logs  placed  on  them.  The  chimney 


98  GEORGIA    SCENES 

was  built  of  logs,  diminishing  in  size  from  the 
ground  to  the  top,  and  overspread  inside  and 
out  with  red  clay  mortar.  The  classic  hut  oc 
cupied  a  lovely  spot,  overshadowed  by  majestic 
hickories,  towering  poplars,  and  strong  -  armed 
oaks.  The  little  plain  on  which  it  stood  was 
terminated,  at  the  distance  of  about  fifty  paces 
from  its  door,  by  the  brow  of  a  hill,  which  de 
scended  rather  abruptly  to  a  noble  spring,  that 
gushed  joyously  forth  from  among  the  roots  of  a 
stately  beech  at  its  foot.  The  stream  from  this 
fountain  scarcely  burst  into  view  before  it  hid 
itself  beneath  the  dark  shade  of  a  field  of  cane, 
which  overspread  the  dale  through  which  it 
flowed,  and  marked  its  windings,  until  it  turned 
from  the  sight  among  vine-covered  hills,  at  a 
distance  far  beyond  that  to  which  the  eye  could 
have  traced  it  without  the  help  of  its  evergreen 
belt.  A  remark  of  the  captain's,  as  we  viewed 
the  lovely  country  around  us,  will  give  the 
reader  my  apology  for  the  minuteness  of  the 
foregoing  description.  "  These  lands/7  said  he, 
"will  never  wear  out.  Where  they  lie  level,  they 
will  be  as  good  fifty  years  hence  as  they  are  now/' 
Forty-two  years  afterwards  I  visited  the  spot  on 
which  he  stood  when  he  made  the  remark.  The 
sun  poured  his  whole  strength  upon  the  bald  hill 
which  once  supported  the  sequestered  school- 
house  ;  many  a  deep-washed  gully  met  at  a 
sickly  bog  where  gushed  the  limpid  fountain  ;  a 
dying  willow  rose  from  the  soil  which  nourished 
the  venerable  beech ;  flocks  wandered  among 
the  dwarf  pines,  and  cropped  a  scanty  meal  from 


THE    TURNOUT  99 

the  vale  where  the  rich  cane  bowed  and  rustled 
to  every  breeze,  and  all  around  was  barren, 
dreary,  and  cheerless.  But  to  return. 

As  1  before  remarked,  the  boys  had  strongly 
fortified  the  school-house,  of  which  they  had 
taken  possession.  The  door  was  barricaded  with 
logs,  which  I  should  have  supposed  would  have 
defied  the  combined  powers  of  the  whole  school. 
The  chimney,  too,  was  nearly  filled  with  logs  of 
goodly  size  ;  and  these  were  the  only  passways  to 
the  interior.  I  concluded,  if  a  "turnout"  was  all 
that  was  necessary  to  decide  the  contest  in  favor 
of  the  boys,  they  had  already  gained  the  victory. 
They  had,  however,  not  as  much  confidence  in 
their  outworks  as  I  had,  and,  therefore,  had 
armed  themselves  with  long  sticks  ;  not  for  the 
purpose  of  using  them  upon  the  master  if  the 
battle  should  come  to  close  quarters,  for  this 
was  considered  unlawful  warfare ;  but  for  the 
purpose  of  guarding  their  works  from  his  ap 
proaches,  which  it  was  considered  perfectly  law 
ful  to  protect  by  all  manner  of  jobs  and  punches 
through  the  cracks.  From  the  early  assembling 
of  the  girls,  it  was  very  obvious  that  they  had 
been  let  into  the  conspiracy,  though  they  took 
no  part  in  the  active  operations.  They  would, 
however,  occasionally  drop  a  word  of  encourage 
ment  to  the  boys,  such  as  "I  wouldn't  turn  out 
the  master  ;  but  if  I  did  turn  him  out,  I'd  die  be 
fore  I'd  give  up."  These  remarks  doubtless  had 
an  emboldening  effect  upon  "the  young  free- 
borns,"  as  Mrs.  Trollope  would  call  them  ;  for  I 
never  knew  the  Georgian  of  any  age  who  was  in- 


100  GEORGIA    SCENES 

different  to  the  smiles  and  praises  of  the  ladies 
— before  his  marriage. 

At  length  Mr.  Michael  St.  John,  the  school 
master,  made  his  appearance.  Though  some  of 
the  girls  had  met  him  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from 
the  school-house  and  told  him  all  that  had  hap 
pened,  he  gave  signs  of  sudden  astonishment 
and  indignation  when  he  advanced  to  the  door 
and  was  assailed  by  a  whole  platoon  of  sticks 
from  the  cracks.  "Why,  what  does  all  this 
mean  ?"  said  he,  as  he  approached  the  captain 
and  myself,  with  a  countenance  of  two  or  three 
varying  expressions. 

"  Why/'  said  the  captain,  "  the  boys  have  turn 
ed  you  out  because  you  have  refused  to  give  them 
an  Easter  holiday." 

"Oh,"  returned  Michael,  "that's  it,  is  it? 
Well,  I'll  see  whether  their  parents  are  to  pay  me 
for  letting  their  children  play  when  they  please." 
So  saying,  he  advanced  to  the  school-house  and 
demanded  in  a  lofty  tone  of  its  inmates  an  un 
conditional  surrender. 

"Well,  give  us  holiday  then,"  said  twenty  lit 
tle  urchins  within,  "and  we'll  let  you  in." 

"Open  the  door  of  the  academy"  -Michael 
would  allow  nobody  to  call  it  a  school-house — 
"  Open  the  door  of  the  academy  this  instant," 
said  Michael,  "  or  I'll  break  it  down." 

"  Break  it  down,"  said  Pete  Jones  and  Bill 
Smith,  "and  we'll  break  you  down." 

During  this  colloquy  I  took  a  peep  into  the 
fortress  to  see  how  the  garrison  was  affected  by 
the  parley.  The  little  ones  were  obviously  panic- 


THE   TURNOUT  101 

struck  at  the  first  words  of  command  ;  but  their 
fears  were  all  chased  away  ;b;7  the  bold,,  deter 
mined  reply  of  Pete  Jones  and  Bill  Smith/ and 
they  raised  a  whoop  of  defiance. 

Michael  now  walked  ro  and  the  academy  three 
times,  examining  all  its  weak  points  with  great 
care.  He  then  paused,  reflected  for  a  moment, 
and  wheeled  off  suddenly  towards  the  woods,  as 
though  a  bright  thought  had  just  struck  him. 
He  passed  twenty  things  which  I  supposed  he 
might  be  in  quest  of — such  as  huge  stones,  fence- 
rails,  portable  logs,  and  the  like  —  without  be 
stowing  the  least  attention  upon  them.  He 
went  to  one  old  log,  searched  it  thoroughly;  then 
to  another ;  then  to  a  hollow  stump,  peeped 
into  it  with  great  care ;  then  to  a  hollow  log, 
into  which  he  looked  with  equal  caution,  and 
so  on. 

"What  is  he  after  ?"  inquired  I. 

"Fm  sure  I  don't  know/'  said  the  captain, 
"but  the  boys  do.  Don't  you  notice  the  breath 
less  silence  which  prevails  in  the  school-house, 
and  the  intense  anxiety  with  which  they  are  eying 
him  through  the  cracks  ?" 

At  this  moment  Michael  had  reached  a  little 
excavation  at  the  root  of  a  dogwood,  and  was  in 
the  act  of  putting  his  hand  into  it  when  a  voice 
from  the  garrison  exclaimed,  with  most  touching 
pathos,  "  Lo'd  o'  messy,  he's  found  my  eggs  ! 
Boys,  let's  give  up  !" 

"I  won't  give  up/'  was  the  reply  from  many 
voices  at  once. 

"Rot  your  cowardly  skin,  Zeph  Pettibone,  you 


102  GEORGIA    SCENES 

wouldn't  give  a  wooden  egg  for  all  the  holidays 
in  the  world  !"*':  '°*\ 

If  these  replied  did 'not  reconcile  Zephaniah  to 
&is*ajipreheD4'efdlo8S^.t  at  least  silenced  his  com- 
plaihtsY  In  the  tnekntinie  Michael  was  employed 
in  relieving  Zeph's  storehouse  of  its  provisions  ; 
and,  truly,  its  contents  told  well  for  Zeph's  skill 
in  egg-pecking.  However,  Michael  took  out  the 
eggs  with  great  care,  and  brought  them  within  a 
few  paces  of  the  school-house,  and  laid  them 
down  with  equal  care  in  full  view  of  the  besieged. 
He  revisited  the  places  which  he  had  searched, 
and  to  which  he  seemed  to  have  been  led  by  in 
tuition  ;  for  from  nearly  all  of  them  did  he  draw 
eggs  in  greater  or  less  numbers.  These  he  treat 
ed  as  he  had  done  Zeph's,  keeping  each  pile  sep 
arate.  Having  arranged  the  eggs  in  double  files 
before  the  door,  he  marched  between  them  with 
an  air  of  triumph,  and  once  more  demanded  a 
surrender,  under  pain  of  an  entire  destruction 
of  the  garrison's  provisions. 

"  Break  'em  just  as  quick  as  you  please,"  said 
George  Grilfen ;  ' '  our  mothers  '11  give  us  a 
plenty  more,  won't  they,  pa?" 

"I  can  answer  for  yours,  my  son,"  said  the 
captain;  "she  would  rather  give  up  every  egg 
upon  the  farm  than  see  you  play  the  coward  or 
traitor  to  save  your  property." 

Michael,  finding  that  he  could  make  no  im 
pression  upon  the  fears  or  the  avarice  of  the 
boys,  determined  to  carry  their  fortifications  by 
storm.  Accordingly,  he  procured  a  heavy  fence- 
rail  and  commenced  the  assault  upon  the  door. 


g  m 


104  GEOKGIA    SCENES 

It  soon  came  to  pieces,  and  the  upper  logs  fell  out, 
leaving  a  space  of  about  three  feet  at  the  top. 
Michael  boldly  entered  the  breach,  when,  by  the 
articles  of  war,  sticks  were  thrown  aside  as  no 
longer  lawful  weapons.  He  was  resolutely  met 
on  the  half-demolished  rampart  by  Peter  Jones 
and  William  Smith,  supported  by  James  Griffon. 
These  were  the  three  largest  boys  in  the  school — 
the  first  about  sixteen  years  of  age,  the  second 
about  fifteen,  and  the  third  just  eleven.  Twice 
was  Michael  repulsed  by  these  young  champions  ; 
but  the  third  effort  carried  him  fairly  into  the 
fortress.  Hostilities  now  ceased  for  a  while,  and 
the  captain  and  I,  having  levelled  the  remain 
ing  logs  at  the  door,  followed  Michael  into  the 
house.  A  large  three -inch  plank  (if  it  deserve 
that  name,  for  it  was  wrought  from  the  half  of  a 
tree's  trunk  entirely  with  the  axe),  attached  to 
the  logs  by  means  of  wooden  pins,  served  the 
whole  school  for  a  writing-desk.  At  a  con 
venient  distance  below  it,  and  on  a  line  with  it, 
stretched  a  smooth  log,  resting  upon  the  logs  of 
the  house,  which  answered  for  the  writers'  seat. 
Michael  took  his  seat  upon  the  desk,  placed  his 
feet  on  the  seat,  and  was  sitting  very  composed 
ly,  when,  with  a  simultaneous  movement,  Pete 
and  Bill  seized  each  a  leg,  and  marched  off  with 
it  in  quick  time.  The  consequence  is  obvious  ; 
Michael's  head  first  took  the  desk,  then  the  seat, 
and  finally  the  ground  (for  the  house  was  not 
floored),  with  three  sonorous  thumps  of  most 
doleful  portent.  No  sooner  did  he  touch  the 
ground  than  he  was  completely  buried  with  boys. 


THE    TURNOUT  105 

The  three  elder  laid  themselves  across  his  head, 
neck,  and  breast,  the  rest  arranging  themselves 
ad  libitum.  Michael's  equanimity  was  consider 
ably  disturbed  by  the  first  thump,  became  restive 
with  the  second,  and  took  flight  with  the  third. 
His  first  effort  was  to  disengage  his  legs,  for 
without  them  he  could  not  rise,  and  to  lie  in 
his  present  position  was  extremely  inconvenient 
and  undignified.  Accordingly,  he  drew  up  his 
right,  and  kicked  at  random.  This  movement 
laid  out  about  six  in  various  directions  upon  the 
floor.  Two  rose  crying:  " Ding  his  old  red 
headed  skin/'  said  one  of  them,  "to  go  and  kick 
me  right  in  my  sore  belly,  where  I  fell  down  and 
raked  it,  running  after  that  fellow  that  cried 
'school-butter'!"* 

"  Drot  his  old  snaggle-tooth  picture,"  said  the 
other,  "to  go  and  hurt  my  sore  toe,  where  I 
knocked  the  nail  off  going  to  the  spring  to  fetch 

*  I  have  never  been  able  to  satisfy  myself  clearly  as  to 
the  literal  meaning  of  these  terms.  They  were  con 
sidered  an  unpardonable  insult  to  a  country  school,  and 
always  justified  an  attack  by  the  whole  fraternity  upon 
the  person  who  used  them  in  their  hearing.  I  have 
known  the  scholars  pursue  a  traveller  two  miles  to  be 
revenged  of  the  insult.  Probably  they  are  a  corruption 
of  "The  school's  better."  "  Better"  was  the  term  com 
monly  used  of  old  to  denote  a  superior,  as  it  sometimes  is 
in  our  day:  "Wait  till  your  betters  are  served,"  for  ex 
ample.  I  conjecture,  therefore,  the  expression  just  al 
luded  to  was  one  of  challenge,  contempt,  and  defiance, 
by  which  the  person  who  used  it  avowed  himself  the 
superior  in  all  respects  of  the  whole  school,  from  the  pre 
ceptor  down.  If  any  one  can  give  a  better  account  of  it, 
I  shall  be  pleased  to  receive  it. 


106  GEORGIA    SCENES 

a  gourd  of  warier  for  him,  and  not  for  myself 
n'other  !" 

"Hut!"  said  Captain  Griffen,  "young  Wash- 
ingtons  mind  these  trifles  !  At  him  again." 

The  name  of  Washington  cured  their  wounds 
and  dried  up  their  tears  in  an  instant,  and  they 
legged  him  de  novo.  The  left  leg  treated  six  more 
as  unceremoniously  as  the  right  had  those  just 
mentioned  ;  but  the  talismanic  name  had  just 
fallen  upon  their  ears  before  the  kick,  so  they 
were  invulnerable.  They  therefore  returned  to 
the  attack  without  loss  of  time.  The  struggle 
seemed  to  wax  hotter  and  hotter  for  a  short  time 
after  Michael  came  to  the  ground,  and  he  threw 
the  children  about  in  all  directions  and  postures, 
giving  some  of  them  thumps  which  would  have 
placed  the  ruffle-shirted  little  darlings  of  the  pres 
ent  day  under  the  discipline  of  paregoric  and 
opodeldoc  for  a  week  ;  but  these  hardy  sons  of 
the  forest  seemed  not  to  feel  them.  As  Michael's 
head  grew  easy,  his  limbs,  by  a  natural  sympathy, 
became  more  quiet,  and  he  offered  one  day's  hol 
iday  as  the  price.  The  boys  demanded  a  week ; 
but  here  the  captain  interposed,  and,  after  the 
common  but  often  unjust  custom  of  arbitrators, 
split  the  difference.  In  this  instance  the  terms 
were  equitable  enough,  and  were  immediately  ac 
ceded  to  by  both  parties.  Michael  rose  in  a  good 
humor,  and  the  boys  were,  of  course.  Loud  was 
their  talking  of  their  deeds  of  valor  as  they  re 
tired.  One  little  fellow  about  seven  years  old 
and  about  three  feet  and  a  half  high  jumped  up, 
cracked  his  feet  together,  and  exclaimed,  "  By 


THE    TURNOUT  107 

jingo,  Pete  Jones,  Bill  Smith,  and  me  can  hold 
any  tiinjin  that  ever  trod  Georgy  grit."  By-the- 
way,  the  name  8t.  John  was  always  pronounced 
" Sinjin"  by  the  common  people  of  that  day; 
and  so  it  must  have  been  by  Lord  Bolingbroke 
himself,  else  his  friend  Pope  would  never  have 
addressed  him  in  a  line  so  unmusical  as — 

"Awake,  my  St.  John,  leave  all  meaner  things." 

Nor  would  Swift,  the  friend  and  companion  of 
both,  have  written — 

"What  St.  John's  skill  in  state  affairs, 
What  Ormond's  valor,  Oxford's  cares. 
***** 
Where  folly,  pride,  and  faction  sway, 
Remote  from  St.  John,  Pope,  and  Gray." 

HALL. 


THE  "CHARMING   CREATURE"  AS   A  WIFE 

MY  nephew  George  Baldwin  was  but  ten  years 
younger  than  myself.  He  was  the  son  of  a  plain, 
practical,  sensible  farmer,,  who,  without  the  ad 
vantages  of  a  liberal  education,  had  enriched  his 
mind  by  study  and  observation  with  a  fund  of 
useful  knowledge  rarely  possessed  by  those  who 
move  in  his  sphere  of  life.  His  wife  was  one  of 
the  most  lovely  of  women.  She  was  pious,  but 
not  austere ;  cheerful,  but  not  light ;  generous, 
but  not  prodigal ;  economical,  but  not  close  ;  hos 
pitable,  but  not  extravagant.  In  native  powers 
of  mind  she  was  every  way  my  brother's  equal  ; 
in  acquirements  she  was  decidedly  his  superior. 
To  this  I  have  his  testimony  as  Avell  as  my  own  ; 
but  it  was  impossible  to  discover  in  her  conduct 
anything  going  to  show  that  she  coincided  with 
us  in  opinion.  To  have  heard  her  converse  you 
would  have  supposed  she  did  nothing  but  read  ; 
to  have  looked  through  the  departments  of  her 
household  you  would  have  supposed  she  never 
read.  Everything  which  lay  within  her  little 
province  bore  the  impress  of  her  hand  or  ac 
knowledged  her  supervision.  Order,  neatness, 
and  cleanliness  prevailed  everywhere.  All  pro 
visions  were  given  out  with  her  own  hands,  and 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE "   AS    A  WIFE  109 

she  could  tell  precisely  the  quantity  of  each  arti 
cle  that  it  would  require  to  serve  a  given  number 
of  persons,  without  stint  or  wasteful  profusion. 
In  the  statistics  of  domestic  economy  she  was 
perfectly  versed.  She  would  tell  you,  with  aston 
ishing  accuracy,  how  many  pounds  of  cured  ba 
con  you  might  expect  from  a  given  weight  of 
fresh  pork  ;  how  many  quarts  of  cream  a  given 
quantity  of  milk  would  yield  ;  how  much  butter 
so  much  cream  ;  how  much  of  each  article  it 
would  take  to  serve  so  many  persons  a  month  or 
a  year.  Supposing  no  change  in  the  family,  and 
she  would  tell  to  a  day  when  a  given  quantity  of 
provisions  of  any  kind  would  be  exhausted.  She 
reduced  to  certain  knowledge  everything  that 
could  be  ;  and  she  approximated  to  it  as  nearly 
as  possible  with  those  matters  that  could  not  be. 
And  yet  she  scolded  less  and  whipped  less  than 
any  mistress  of  a  family  I  ever  saw.  The  reason 
is  obvious.  Everything  under  her  care  went  on 
with  perfect  system.  To  each  servant  were  allot 
ted  his  or  her  respective  duties,  and  to  each  was 
assigned  the  time  in  which  those  duties  were  to 
be  performed.  During  this  time  she  suffered 
them  not  to  be  interrupted,  if  it  was  possible  to 
protect  them  from  interruption.  Her  children 
were  permitted  to  give  no  orders  to  servants  but 
through  her,  until  they  reached  the  age  at  which 
they  were  capable  of  regulating  their  orders  by 
her  rules.  She  laid  no  plans  to  detect  her  ser 
vants  in  theft,  but  she  took  great  pains  to  con 
vince  them  that  they  could  not  pilfer  without 
detection ;  and  this  did  she  without  betraying 


110  GEORGIA    SCENES 

any  suspicions  of  their  integrity.  Thus  she  would 
have  her  biscuits  uniformly  of  a  size,  and,  under 
the  form  of  instructions  to  her  cook,  she  would 
show  her  precisely  the  quantity  of  flour  which  it 
took  to  make  so  many  biscuits.  After  all  this, 
she  exposed  her  servants  to  as  few  temptations  as 
possible.  She  never  sent  them  to  the  larder  un 
attended,  if  she  could  avoid  it,  and  never  placed 
them  under  the  watch  of  children.  She  saw 
that  they  were  well  provided  with  everything 
they  needed,  and  she  indulged  them  in  recrea 
tions  when  she  could.  No  service  was  required 
of  them  on  the  Sabbath  further  than  to  spread 
the  table  and  to  attend  it  ;  a  service  which  was 
lightened  as  much  as  possible  by  having  the  pro 
visions  of  that  day  very  simple,  and  prepared  the 
day  before. 

Such,  but  half  described,  were  the  father  and 
mother  of  George  Baldwin.  He  was  their  only 
son  and  eldest  child  ;  but  he  had  two  sisters,  Mary 
and  Martha,  the  first  four  and  the  second  six  years 
younger  than  himself  —  a  son  next  to  George 
having  died  in  infancy.  The  two  eldest  children 
inherited  their  names  from  their  parents,  and  all 
of  them  grew  up  worthy  of  the  stock  from  which 
they  sprang. 

George,  having  completed  his  education  at 
Princeton,  where  he  was  graduated  with  great 
honor  to  himself,  returned  to  Georgia  and  com 
menced  the  study  of  the  law.  After  studying  a 
year  he  was  admitted  to  the  bar,  just  after  he 
had  completed  his  one-and-twentieth  year.  I 
have  been  told  by  gentlemen  who  belong  to  this 


THE    "CHARMING   CREATURE"    AS    A   WIPE  111 

profession  that  one  year  is  too  short  a  time  for 
preparation  for  the  intricacies  of  legal  lore  ;  and 
it  may  be  so,  but  I  never  knew  a  young  man 
acquit  himself  more  creditably  than  George  did 
in  his  maiden  speech. 

He  located  himself  in  the  city  of ,  seventy 

miles  from  his  father's  residence  ;  and,  after  the 
lapse  of  three  years,  he  counted  up  eight  hundred 
dollars  as  the  net  profits  of  his  last  year's  prac 
tice.  Reasonably  calculating  that  his  receipts 
would  annually  increase  for  several  years  to 
come,  having  no  expenses  to  encounter  except 
for  his  board  and  clothing  (for  his  father  had 
furnished  him  with  a  complete  library),  he  now 
thought  of  taking  to  himself  a  helpmate.  Hith 
erto  he  had  led  a  very  retired,  studious  life  ;  but 
now  he  began  to  court  the  society  of  ladies. 

About  this  time  Miss  Evelina  Caroline  Smith 
returned  to  the  city  from  Philadelphia,  where, 
after  an  absence  of  three  years,  she  had  com 
pleted  her  education.  She  was  the  only  child  of 
a  wealthy,  unlettered  merchant,  who,  rather  by 
good  luck  than  good  management,  had  amassed 
a  fortune  of  about  fifty  thousand  dollars.  Mr. 
Smith  was  one  of  those  men  who  conceived  that 
all  earthly  greatness,  and  consequently  all  earth 
ly  bliss,  concentred  in  wealth.  The  consequence 
was  inevitable.  To  the  poor  he  was  haughty, 
supercilious,  and  arrogant,  and,  not  unfrequent- 
ly,  wantonl}7  insolent ;  to  the  rich  he  was  friendly, 
kind,  or  obsequious,  as  their  purses  equalled  or 
overmeasured  his  own.  His  wife  was  even  be 
low  himself  in  moral  stature  ;  proud,  loquacious, 


112  GEORGIA   SCENES 

silly.  Evelina  was  endowed  by  nature  with  a 
good  mind,  and,  what  her  parents  esteemed  of 
infinitely  more  value,  she  was  beautiful  from  her 
infancy  to  the  time  when  I  introduced  her  to 
the  reader,  which  was  just  after  she  had  com 
pleted  her  seventeenth  year.  Evelina's  time,  be 
tween  her  sixth  and  fourteenth  year,  had  been 
chiefly  employed  in  learning  from  her  father 
and  mother  what  a  perfect  beauty  she  was,  and 
what  kind  of  gewgaws  exhibited  her  beauty  to  the 
greatest  advantage,  how  rich  she  would  be,  and 
"what  havoc  she  would  make  of  young  men's 
hearts  by-and-by."  In  these  instructive  lectures 
her  parents  sometimes  found  gratuitous  help 
from  silly  male  and  female  visitors,  who,  purely 
to  win  favor  from  the  parents,  would  expatiate 
on  the  perfection  of  "the  lovely,"  "charming," 
"  beautiful  little  creature  "  in  her  presence.  The 
consequence  was  that  pride  and  vanity  became,  at 
an  early  age,  the  leading  traits  of  the  child's  char 
acter,  and  admiration  and  flattery  the  only  food 
which  she  could  relish.  Her  parents  subjected 
themselves  to  the  loss  of  her  society  for  three 
years,  while  she  was  at  school  in  Philadelphia, 
from  no  better  motive  than  to  put  her  on  an 
equality  with  Mr.  B.'s  and  Mr.  C.'s  daughters  ; 
or,  rather,  to  imitate  the  examples  of  Messrs. 
B.  &  C.,  merchants  of  the  same  city,  who  were 
very  rich. 

While  she  was  in  Philadelphia  Evelina  Avas 
well  instructed.  She  was  taught  in  what  female 
loveliness  truly  consists,  the  qualities  which  de 
servedly  command  the  respect  of  the  wise  and 


THE    "CHAKMING    CREATURE"    AS    A   WIFE  113 

good,  and  the  deportment  which  insures  to  a  fe 
male  the  admiration  of  all.  But  Evelina's  mind 
had  received  a  bias  from  which  these  lessons  could 
not  relieve  it,  and  the  only  effect  of  them  upon 
her  was  to  make  her  an  accomplished  hypocrite, 
with  all  her  other  foibles.  She  improved  her  in 
structions  only  to  the  gratification  of  her  ruling 
passion.  In  music  she  made  some  proficiency, 
because  she  saw  in  it  a  ready  means  of  gaining 
admiration. 

George  Baldwin  had  formed  a  partial  acquaint 
ance  with  Mr.  Smith  before  the  return  of  his 
daughter,  but  he  rather  shunned  than  courted  a 
closer  intimacy.  Smith,  however,  had  intrusted 
George  with  some  professional  business,  found 
him  trustworthy,  and  thought  he  saw  in  him  a 
man  who,  at  no  very  distant  day,  was  to  become 
distinguished  for  both  wealth  and  talents  ;  and, 
upon  a  very  short  acquaintance,  he  took  occasion 
to  tell  him  "that  whoever  married  his  daughter 
should  receive  the  next  day  a  check  for  twenty 
thousand  dollars.  That'll  do,"  continued  he, 
"•  to  start  upon  ;  and  when  I  and  the  old  woman 
drop  off  she  will  get  thirty  more."  This  had 
an  effect  upon  George  directly  opposite  to  that 
which  it  was  designed  to  have. 

Miss  Smith  had  been  at  home  about  three 
weeks,  and  the  whole  town  had  sounded  the 
praises  of  her  beauty  and  accomplishments  ;  but 
George  had  not  seen  her,  though  Mr.  Smith 
had  in  the  meantime  given  him  several  notes 
to  collect,  with  each  of  which  he  "  wondered 
how  it  happened  that  two  so  much  alike  as  him- 


114  GEORGIA   SCENES 

self  and  George  had  never  been  more  intimate, 
and  hoped  he  would  come  over  in  a  sociable  way 
and  see  him  often/'  About  this  time,  however, 
George  received  a  special  invitation  to  a  large 
tea-party  from  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Smith,  which  he 
could  not  with  propriety  reject,  and  accordingly 
he  went.  He  was  received  at  the  door  by  Mr. 
Smith,  announced  upon  entering  the  drawing- 
room,  and  conducted  through  a  crowd  of  gen 
tlemen  to  Miss  Smith,  to  whom  lie  was  intro 
duced  with  peculiar  emphasis.  lie  made  his 
obeisance  and  retired ;  for  common  politeness 
required  him  to  bestow  his  attentions  upon  some 
of  the  many  ladies  in  the  room,  who  were  neg 
lected  by  the  gentlemen  in  their  rivalship  for  a 
smile  or  word  from  Miss  Evelina.  She  was  the 
admiration  of  all  the  gentlemen,  and,  with  the 
exception  of  two  or  three  youny  ladies,  who 
"thought  her  too  affected,7'  she  was  praised  by 
all  the  ladies.  In  short,  by  nearly  universal  tes 
timony  she  was  pronounced  "a  charming  creat 
ure." 

An  hour  had  elapsed  before  George  found  an 
opportunity  of  giving  her  those  attentions  which, 
as  a  guest  of  the  family,  courtesy  required  from 
him.  The  opportunity  was  at  length,  however, 
furnished  by  herself.  In  circling  round  the 
room  to  entertain  the  company,  she  reached 
George  just  as  the  seat  next  to  him  had  been 
vacated.  This  she  occupied,  and  a  conversation 
ensued,  with  every  word  of  which  she  gained 
upon  his  respect  and  esteem.  Instead  of  find 
ing  her  that  gay,  volatile,  vain  creature  whom 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A   WIFE  115 

he  expected  to  find  in  the  rich  and  beautiful 
daughter  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Smith,  he  found  her 
a  modest,  sensible,  unassuming  girl,  whose  views 
upon  all  subjects  coincided  precisely  with  his 
own. 

"  She  yielded  to  the  wishes  of  her  parents, 
from  a  sense  of  duty,  in  giving  and  attending 
parties  ;  but  she  always  left  them  under  the 
conviction  that  the  time  spent  at  them  was  worse 
than  wasted.  It  was  really  a  luxury  to  her  to 
retire  from  the  idle  chit-chat  of  them,  and  to 
spend  a  few  minutes  in  conversation  with  a  male 
or  female  friend  who  would  consider  it  no  dis 
respect  to  the  company  to  talk  rationally  upon 
such  occasions.  And  yet,  in  conducting  such 
conversations  at  such  times,  it  was  so  difficult  to 
avoid  the  appearance  of  pedantry,  and  to  keep 
it  from  running  into  something  too  stiff  or  too 
grave  for  a  social  circle,  that  she  really  was 
afraid  to  court  them."  As  to  books,  "she 
read  but  very  few  novels,  though  her  ignorance 
of  them  often  exposed  her  to  some  mortification  ; 
but  she  felt  that  her  ignorance  here  was  a  com 
pliment  to  her  taste  and  delicacy,  which  made 
ample  amends  for  the  mortifications  to  which  it 
forced  her  occasionally  to  submit.  With  Hannah 
More,  Mrs.  Chapone,  Bennett,  and  other  writ 
ers  of  the  same  class  she  was  very  familiar" 
(and  she  descanted  upon  the  peculiar  merits 
of  each);  "but,  after  all,  books  were  of  small 
consequence  to  a  lady  without  those  domestic 
virtues  which  enable  her  to  blend  superior  use 
fulness  with  superior  acquirements ;  and  if  learn- 


116  GEORGIA    SCENES 

ing  or  usefulness  must  be  forsaken.,  it  had  better 
be  the  first.  Of  music  she  was  extravagantly 
fond,  and  she  presumed  she  ever  would  be  ;  but 
she  confessed  she  had  no  taste  for  its  modern 
refinements.''' 

Thus  she  went  on  with  the  turns  of  the  con 
versation  and  as  she  caught  George's  views.  It 
is  true  she  would  occasionally  drop  a  remark 
which  did  not  harmonize  exactly  with  these 
dulcet  strains  ;  and  in  her  rambles  over  the 
world  of  science  she  would  sometimes  seem  at 
fault  where  George  thought  she  ought  to  have 
been  perfectly  at  home ;  but  he  found  a  thou 
sand  charitable  ways  of  accounting  for  all  this, 
not  one  of  which  led  to  the  idea  that  she  might 
have  learned  these  diamond  sentiments  by  rote 
from  the  lips  of  her  preceptress.  Consequently, 
they  came  with  resistless  force  upon  the  citadel 
of  George's  heart,  and  in  less  than  half  an  hour 
overpowered  it  completely. 

k<  Truly,"  thought  George,  "she  is  a  charm 
ing  creature  !  When  was  so  much  beauty  ever 
blended  with  such  unassuming  manners  and 
such  intellectual  endowments  !  How  wonderful 
that  the  daughter  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Smith  should 
possess  such  accomplishments  !  How  dull — 
with  all  her  filial  affection — how  dull  must  be 
her  life  under  the  parental  roof  !  Not  a  com 
panion,  not  a  sympathetic  feeling  there  !  How 
sweet  it  would  be  to  return  from  the  toils  of 
the  courts  to  a  bosom  friend  so  soft,  so  benevo 
lent,  so  intelligent." 

Thus  ran  George's  thoughts  as  soon  as  Miss 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"   AS    A   WIFE  117 

Smith  had  left  him  to  go  in  quest  of  new  con 
quests.  The  effects  of  her  short  interview  with 
him  soon  became  visible  to  every  eye.  His  con 
versation  lost  its  spirit,  was  interrupted  by 
moody  abstractions,  and  was  sillier  than  it  had 
ever  been.  George  had  a  fine  person,  and,  for 
the  first  time  in  his  life,  he  now  set  a  value  upon 
it.  To  exhibit  it  to  the  greatest  advantage,  he 
walked  the  room  under  various  pretences ;  and 
when  in  his  promenades  he  caught  the  eye  of 
Miss  Smith  resting  upon  him  he  assumed  a  more 
martial  or  theatric  step,  which  made  him  look 
ridiculous  at  the  time,  and  feel  so  immediately 
afterwards.  In  his  listless  journeyings  his  at 
tention  was  arrested  by  a  beautiful  cottage  scene 
at  the  foot  of  which  glittered,  in  golden  letters, 
"BY  EVELINA  CAROLINE  SMITH,  OF  — , 
GEORGIA." 

This  led  him  to  another,  and  another,  from  the 
same  pencil.  Upon  these  he  was  gazing  with  a 
look  and  attitude  the  most  complimentary  to  Miss 
Evelina  that  he  could  possibly  assume,  while  the 
following  remarks  were  going  the  rounds. 

"  Do  you  notice  George  Baldwin  ?" 

"Oh  yes;  he's  in  for  it;  dead,  sir;  good-bye 
to  bail  writs  and  sassiperaris !" 

"  Oh,  she's  only  put  an  attachment  on  him." 

"  Really,  Miss  Smith,  it  was  too  bad  to  serve 
George  Baldwin  so  cruelly  !" 

"Ah,  sir,  if  reports  are  true,  Mr.  Baldwin  is 
too  fond  of  his  books  to  think  of  any  lady,  much 
less  of  one  so  unworthy  of  his  attentions  as  I  am." 

George  heard  this,  nestled  a  little,  threw  back 


118  GEORGIA   SCENES 

his  shoulders,  placed  his  arms  akimbo,  and  looked 
at  the  picture. with  wonderful  independence. 

Then  Miss  Evelina  was  handed  to  the  piano, 
and  to  a  simple,  beautiful  air  she  sang  a  well- 
written  song,  the  burden  of  which  was  an  apology 
for  love  at  first  sight.  This  was  wanton  cruelty 
to  an  unresisting  captive.  To  do  her  justice, 
however,  her  performance  had  not  been  equalled 
during  the  evening. 

The  company  at  length  began  to  retire  ;  and, 
so  long  as  a  number  remained  sufficient  to  give 
him  an  apology  for  staying,  George  delayed  his 
departure.  The  last  group  of  ladies  and  gentle 
men  finally  rose,  and  George  commenced  a  fruit 
less  search  for  his  hat ;  fruitless,  because  he  look 
ed  for  it  where  he  knew  it  was  not  to  be  found. 
But  a  servant  was  more  successful,  and  brought 
it  to  him  just  as  he  was  giving  up  the  search  as 
hopeless,  and  commencing  a  conversation  with 
Miss  Smith  for  the  night. 

"  Why,  where  did  you  find  it  ?"  said  George, 
with  seeming  surprise  and  pleasure  at  the  dis 
covery. 

"  Out  da,  in  de  entry,  sir,  whay  all  de  gentle 
men  put  da  hats." 

"Oh,  I  ought  to  have  known  that.  Good-bye, 
Miss  Evelina  !"  said  George,  throwing  a  melting 
eloquence  into  the  first  word,  and  reaching  forth 
his  hand. 

"  Good-evening,  Mr.  Baldwin  !"  returned  she  ; 
"  I  hope  you  will  not  be  quite  so  great  a  stranger 
here  as  you  have  been.  Pa  has  often  wondered 
that  you  never  visit  him."  Here  she  relinquished 


THE  "CHARMING  CREATURE"  AS  A  WIFE     119 

his  hand  with  a  gentle  but  sensible  pressure, 
which  might  mean  two  or  three  things.  What 
ever  was  its  meaning,  it  ran  like  nitrous  oxide 
through  every  fibre  of  George's  composition,  and 
robbed  him  for  a  moment  of  his  last  ray  of  in 
tellect. 

"Believe  me,  Miss  Smith,"  said  he,  as  if  he 
were  opening  a  murder  case — "  believe  me,  there 
are  fascinations  about  this  hospitable  dome,  in 
the  delicate  touches  of  the  pencil  which  adorn  it, 
and  in  the  soft  breathings  of  the  piano,  awaked 
by  the  hand  which  I  have  just  relinquished,  which 
will  not  permit  me  to  delay,  as  heretofore,  those 
visits  which  professional  duty  requires  me  to 
make  to  your  kind  parent  (your  father)  a  single 
moment  beyond  the  time  that  his  claims  to  my 
respects  become  absolute.  Good-evening,  Miss 
Smith." 

"Did  ever  mortal  of  common-sense  talk  and 
act  so  much  like  an  arrant  fool  as  I  have  this 
evening  ?"  said  George,  as  the  veil  of  night  fell 
upon  the  visions  which  had  danced  before  his 
eyes  for  the  four  preceding  hours. 

Though  it  was  nearly  twelve  o'clock  at  night 
when  he  reached  his  office,  he  could  not  sleep 
until  he  laid  the  adventures  of  the  evening  before 
his  father  and  mother.  The  return  mail  brought 
him  a  letter  from  his  parents,  written  by  his 
mother's  hand,  which  we  regret  we  cannot  give 
a  place  in  this  narrative.  Suffice  it  to  say,  it  was 
kind  and  affectionate,  but  entirely  too  cold  for 
the  temperature  of  George's  feelings.  It  admit 
ted  the  intrinsic  excellence  of  Miss  Smith's  views 


120  GEORGIA    SCENES 

and  sentiments,  but  expressed  serious  apprehen 
sions  that  her  habits  of  life  would  prove  an  in 
superable  barrier  to  her  ever  putting  them  in  full 
practice.  "  We  all  admit,  my  dear  George/'  said 
the  amiable  writer,  "the  value  of  industry,  econ 
omy —  in  short,  of  all  the  domestic  and  social 
virtues  ;  but  how  small  the  number  who  practise 
them  !  Golden  sentiments  are  to  be  picked  up 
anywhere.  In  this  age  they  are  upon  the  lips  of 
everybody  ;  but  we  do  not  find  that  they  exert  as 
great  an  influence  upon  the  morals  of  society  as 
they  did  in  the  infancy  of  our  republic,  when 
they  were  less  talked  of.  For  ourselves,  we  con 
fess  we  prize  the  gentleman  or  lady  who  habitu 
ally  practises  one  Christian  virtue  much  higher 
than  we  do  the  one  who  barely  lectures  elo 
quently  upon  them  all.  But  we  are  not  so 
weak  or  so  uncharitable  as  to  suppose  that  none 
who  discourse  fluently  upon  them  can  possess 
them. 

*  *  *  #  *  # 

"  The  whole  moral  which  we  would  deduce 
from  the  foregoing  remarks  is  one  which  your 
own  observation  must  have  taught  you  a  thousand 
times  :  that  but  little  confidence  is  to  be  reposed 
in  fine  sentiments  which  do  not  come  recommend 
ed  by  the  life  and  conduct  of  the  person  who  re 
tails  them.  And  yet,  familiar  as  you  are  with 
this  truth,  you  certainly  have  more  command  over 
your  judgment  than  have  most  young  men  of 
your  age,  if  you  do  not  entirely  forget  it  the  mo 
ment  you  hear  such  sentiments  from  the  lips 
of  'a  lady  possessing  strong  personal  attractions.'' 


Tim  "CHARMING  CREATURE"  AS  A  WIFE       121 

There  is  a  charm  in  beauty  which  even  philos 
ophy  is  constrained  to  acknowledge,  and  which 
youth  instinctively  transfers  to  all  the  moral  qual 
ities  of  its  possessor. 

****** 

"When  you  come  to  know  the  elements  of 
which  connubial  happiness  is  composed,  you  will 
be  astonished  to  find  that,  with  few  exceptions, 
they  are  things  which  you  now  consider  the  veri 
est  trifles  imaginable.  It  is  a  happy  ordination 
of  Providence  that  it  should  be  so  ;  for  this 
brings  matrimonial  bliss  within  the  reach  of  all 
classes  of  persons.  *  *  *  Harmony  of  thought 
and  feeling  upon  the  little  daily  occurrences  of 
life,  congeniality  of  views  and  sentiments  between 
yourselves  and  your  connections  on  either  side, 
similarity  of  habits  and  pursuits  among  your  im 
mediate  relatives  and  friends,  if  not  essential  to 
nuptial  bliss,  are  certainly  its  chief  ingredients. 
****** 

"Having  pointed  you  to  the  sources  of  conju 
gal  felicity,  your  own  judgment  will  spare  my 
trembling  hand  the  painful  duty  of  pointing  you 
to  those  fountains  of  bitterness  and  woe  ;  but  I 
forget  that  I  am  representing  your  father  as  well 
as  myself." 

George  read  the  long  letter  from  which  the 
foregoing  extracts  are  taken  with  deep  interest 
and  with  some  alarm ;  but  he  was  not  in  a  situa 
tion  to  profit  by  his  parents'  counsels.  He  had 
visited  Miss  Smith  repeatedly  in  the  time  he  was 
waiting  to  hear  from  his  parents  ;  and  though 
he  had  discovered  many  little  foibles  in  her  char- 


122  GEORGIA    SCENES 

acter,  he  found  a  ready  apology  or  an  easy  reme 
dy  for  them  all. 

The  lapse  of  a  few  months  found  them  en 
gaged,  and  George  the  happiest  mortal  upon 
earth. 

"  And  now,  my  dear  Evelina/'  said  he,  as  soon 
as  they  had  interchanged  their  vows,  "I  go  to 
render  myself  worthy  of  the  honor  you  have  con 
ferred  upon  me.  My  studies,  which  love,  doubt, 
and  anxiety  have  too  long  interrupted,  shall  now 
be  renewed  with  redoubled  intensity.  My  Eve 
lina's  interest,  being  associated  with  all  my  labors, 
will  turn  them  to  pleasures  ;  my  honor  being 
hers,  I  shall  court  it  with  untiring  zeal.  She  will 
therefore  excuse  me  if  my  visits  are  not  repeated 
in  future  quite  as  often  as  they  have  been  here 
tofore." 

"  What,  already,  Mr.  Baldwin  !"  exclaimed  she, 
weeping  most  beautifully. 

"  Why,  no,  not  for  the  world,  if  my  dear  Eve 
lina  says  not !  But  I  thought  that — I  flattered 
myself — I  hoped — my  Evelina  would  find  a  suffi 
cient  apology  in  the  motive." 

The  little  mistake  was  rectified  in  the  course  of 
an  hour,  and  they  parted  more  in  raptures  with 
each  other  than  they  had  ever  been. 

George  continued  his  visits  as  before,  and  in 
the  meantime  his  business  began  to  suffer  from 
neglect,  of  which  his  clients  occasionally  remind 
ed  him,  with  all  the  frankness  which  one  exhibits 
at  seeing  a  love  affair  carried  on  with  too  much 
zeal  and  at  his  expense.  In  truth,  George's  heart 
had  more  than  once  entertained  a  wish  (for  his 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"   AS    A  WIFE  12-i 

lips  dare  not  utter  it)  that  his  charming  Eveli 
na's  affection  could  come  down  to  a  hundred  of 
Wedge  wood  when  the  circuit  commenced,,  and 
give  him  a  temporary  respite. 

The  evening  before  he  set  out  he  spent  with 
his  "charming  Evelina/'  of  course,  and  the  in 
terview  closed  with  a  most  melting  scene ;  but 
I  may  not  stop  to  describe  it.  Candor  con 
strains  me  to  say,  however,  that  George  got  over 
it  before  he  reached  his  office,  which  he  entered 
actually  whistling  a  merry  tune. 

He  was  at  the  second  court  of  the  circuit,  and 
had  been  from  home  nearly  a  fortnight,  when 
one  of  his  friends  addressed  him  with,  "I'll  tell 
you  what  it  is,  Baldwin:  you'd  better  go  home 
or  Dr.  Bibb  will  cut  you  out.  There  have  been 
two  or  three  parties  in  town  since  you  came 
away,  at  all  of  which  Miss  Smith  and  Bibb  were 
as  thick  as  two  pickpockets.  The  whole  town's 
talking  about  them.  I  heard  a  young  lady  say 
to  her,  she'd  tell  you  how  she  was  carrying  on 
with  Bibb  ;  and  she  declared,  upon  her  word 
and  honor  (looking  Tcillniferously  at  Bibb),  that 
she  only  knew  you  as  her  father's  collecting  at 
torney/' 

George  reddened  deeper  and  deeper  at  every 
word  of  this,  but  passed  it  oif  with  a  hearty, 
hectic  laugh. 

It  was  on  Thursday  afternoon  that  he  received 
this  intelligence,  and  it  met  him  forty  miles 
from  home,  and  twenty-five  from  the  next  court 
in  order.  Two  of  his  cases  were  yet  undisposed 
of.  Of  these  he  gave  hasty  notes  to  one  of  his 


124  GEORGIA   SCENES 

brethren,  in  order  to  guide  him  if  he  should  be 
forced  to  trial,  but  instructing  him  to  continue 
them  if  he  could.  Having  made  these  arrange 
ments,  Friday  afternoon,  at  five  o'clock,  found 
his  jaded  horse  at  his  office  door.  George  tarried 
here  no  longer  than  was  necessary  to  change  his 
apparel,  and  then  he  hastened  to  the  habitation 
of  his  "  charming  Evelina." 

He  was  received  at  the  door  by  a  servant,  who 
escorted  him  to  the  drawing-room,  and  who,  to 
heighten  Evelina's  joy  by  surprise,  instructed 
her  maid  to  tell  her  that  there  was  a  gentleman 
in  the  drawing-room  who  wished  to  see  her. 

Minute  after  minute  rolled  away,  and  she  did 
not  make  her  appearance.  After  he  had  been 
kept  in  suspense  for  nearly  a  quarter  of  an  hour, 
she  entered  the  room,  dressed  in  bridal  richness 
and  taste. 

"  Why,  is  it  you  ?"  said  she,  rushing  to  him 
in  transports  :  " I  thought  it  was  Dr.  Bibb." 

"And  who  is  Dr.  Bibb,  Evelina?"  said 
George. 

"He's  a  young  physician,  with  whom  I  had 
a  partial  acquaintance  in  Philadelphia,  and  who 
has  just  settled  himself  in  this  place.  I  want 
you  to  get  acquainted  with  him,  for  he  is  one 
of  the  most  interesting  young  gentlemen  I  ever 
knew  in  my  life," 

"No  doubt  I  should  be  much  pleased  with 
him ;  but  do  you  think  he  would  feel  himself 
much  honored  or  improved  by  an  acquaintance 
with  '  your  father's  collecting  attorney '  9" 

"Why  !     Is  it  possible  that  Rebecca  Freeman 


THE  "CHARMING  CREATURE"  AS  A  WIFE        125 

has  told  you  that  ?  I  never  will  speak  to  her 
again.  I  am  the  most  persecuted  being  upon 
earth.  I  can  say  nothing  nor  do  nothing,  no 
matter  how  innocent,,  which  some  one  does  not 
make  a  handle  of  to  injure  me." 

Here  Miss  Evelina  burst  into  tears,  as  usual ; 
but  there  being  a  little  passion  mingled  with  her 
tears  on  this  occasion,  her  weeping  was  not  quite 
as  interesting  as  it  had  been  before.  It  subdued 
George,  however,  and  paved  the  way  to  a  recon 
ciliation.  The  obnoxious  expression  was  ex 
plained — rather  awkwardly,  indeed,  but  satisfac 
torily — and  Miss  Freeman  was  acquitted  of  all 
blame. 

Matters  were  just  placed  in  this  posture  when 
a  servant  arrived  to  inform  George  "that  some 
thing  was  the  matter  with  his  horse,  and  Mr. 
Cox  (his  landlord)  thought  he  was  going  to 
die/' 

George  rose,  and  was  hastening  to  the  relief 
of  his  favorite  of  all  quadrupeds,  when  Miss 
Smith  burst  into  a  very  significant  but  affected 
laugh. 

"  Why,  what  is  it  amuses  you  so,  Evelina  ?" 
inquired  George,  with  some  surprise. 

"Oh,  nothing,"  said  she  ;  "  I  was  only  think 
ing  how  quick  Mr.  Baldwin  forgets  me  when  his 
horse  demands  his  attentions.  I  declare,  I'm 
right  jealous  of  my  rival." 

"  Go  back,  boy,  and  tell  your  master  I  can't 
come  just  now  ;  but  I'll  thank  him  to  do  what 
he  can  for  the  poor  animal." 

Mr.  Cox,  upon  receiving  this  intelligence,  and 


126  GEOHGIA    SCENES 

learning  the  business  which  engrossed  George's 
attention,  left  the  horse  to  take  care  of  himself ; 
and  he  died  just  before  George  returned  from 
Mr.  Smith's. 

These,,  and  a  thousand  little  annoyances  which 
we  may  not  enumerate,  urged  upon  George  the 
importance  of  hastening  the  nuptials  as  speedily 
as  possible. 

Accordingly,  by  all  the  dangers,  ills,  alarms, 
and  anxieties  which  attend  the  hours  of  engage 
ment,  he  pressed  her  to  name  the  happy  day 
within  the  coming  month  when  their  hearts  and 
their  destinies  should  be  inseparably  united. 

But  "she  could  not  think  of  getting  married 
for  two  years  yet  to  come  ;  then  one  year  at 
least.  At  all  events,  she  could  not  appoint  a 
day  until  she  consulted  her  dear  Morgiana  Cor 
nelia  Marsh,  of  Canaan,  Vermont.  Morgiana 
was  her  classmate,  and,  at  parting  in  Philadel 
phia,  they  had  interchanged  pledges  that  which 
ever  got  married  first  should  be  waited  upon  by 
the  other." 

In  vain  did  George  endeavor  to  persuade  her 
that  this  was  a  schoolgirl  pledge,  which  Morgi 
ana  had  already  forgotten,  and  which  she  never 
would  fulfil.  His  arguments  only  provoked  a 
reproof  of  his  unjust  suspicions  of  the  "Amer 
ican  fair." 

Finding  his  arguments  here  unavailing,  he 
then  entreated  his  ff  charming  Evelina"  to  write 
immediately  to  Miss  Marsh  to  know  when  it 
would  be  agreeable  to  her  to  fulfil  her  promise. 

Weeks  rolled  away  before  Miss  Smith  could 


THE  "CHARMING  CREATURE"  AS  A  WIFE        127 

he  prevailed  upon  even  to  write  the  all-important 
letter.  She  despatched  it  at  last,  however,  and 
George  began  to  entertain  hopes  that  a  few 
months  would  make  the  dear  Evelina  his  own. 

In  the  meantime  his  business  fell  in  arrears, 
and  his  clients  complained  loudly  against  him. 
He  was  incessantly  tortured  with  false  rumors 
of  his  coldness  and  indifference  towards  Miss 
Smith,  and  of  the  light  and  disrespectful  re 
marks  which  he  had  made  upon  her  ;  but  he 
was  much  more  tortured  by  her  unabated  thirst 
for  balls  and  parties  of  pleasure;  her  undimin- 
ished  love  of  general  admiration,  and  the  un 
concealed  encouragement  which  she  gave  to  the 
attentions  of  Dr.  Bibb.  The  effect  which  these 
things  had  upon  his  temper  was  visible  to  all  his 
friends.  He  became  fretful,  petulant,  impatient, 
and  melancholy.  Dr.  Bibb  proved,  in  truth,  to 
be  a  most  accomplished,  intelligent  gentleman  ; 
and  was  the  man  who,  above  all  others,  George 
would  have  selected  for  his  friend  and  compan 
ion,  had  not  the  imprudences  of  Evelina  trans 
formed  him  into  a  rival.  As  things  were, 
however,  his  accomplishments  only  embittered 
George's  feelings  towards  him,  provoked  from 
George  cruel,  misplaced,  and  unnatural  sarcasms, 
which  the  world  placed  to  the  account  of  jeal 
ousy,  and  in  which  George's  conscience  forced 
him  to  admit  that  the  world  did  him  nothing 
more  nor  less  than  sheer  justice. 

At  length  Miss  Morgiana's  letter  arrived.  It 
opened  with  expressions  of  deep  contrition  that 
the  writer  "should  have  got  married  without 


128  GEORGIA    SCENES 

giving  her  beloved  Evelina  an  opportunity  of 
fulfilling  her  promise  ;  but  really,  after  all,  she 
was  not  to  blame,  for  she  did  propose  to  write 
to  her  beloved  Evelina  to  come  on  to  Canaan, 
but  papa  and  Mr.  Huntington  (her  husband) 
would  not  hear  of  it ;  indeed,  they  both  got 
almost  vexed  that  she  should  think  of  such  a 
thing.  *  *  *  But  as  soon  as  my  beloved  Evelina 
gets  married  she  must  appoint  a  time  at  which 
we  can  meet  at  Philadelphia  with  our  husbands 
and  compare  notes.  *  *  *  I  have  a  thousand 
secrets  to  tell  you  about  married  life  ;  but  I  must 
reserve  them  till  we  meet.  A  thousand  kisses 
to  your  dear  George  for  me  ;  and  tell  him,  if  I 
were  not  a  married  woman  I  should  certainly 
fall  in  love  with  him,  from  your  description  of 
him/' 

"Well,  I  declare,"  said  Evelina,  as  she  folded 
up  the  letter,  "  I  could  not  have  believed  that 
Morgiana  would  have  served  me  so.  I  would 
have  died  before  I  would  have  treated  her  in  the 
same  way/7 

The  great  obstacle  being  now  removed,  the 
wedding  night  was  fixed  at  the  shortest  time 
that  it  could  be  to  allow  the  necessary  prepara 
tions,  which  was  just  three  months  ahead. 

Before  these  three  months  rolled  away,  George 
became  convinced  that  he  had  staked  his  earthly 
happiness  upon  the  forlorn  hope  of  reforming 
Miss  Smith's  errors  after  marriage  ;  but  his  sense 
of  honor  was  too  refined  to  permit  him  to  har 
bor  a  thought  of  breaking  the  engagement  ;  and, 
indeed,  so  completely  had  he  become  enamoured 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"   AS    A    WIFE  129 

of  her  that  any  perils  seemed  preferable  to  giv 
ing  her  up  forever. 

He  kept  his  parents  faithfully  advised  of  all 
the  incidents  of  his  love  and  courtship,  and 
every  letter  which  he  forwarded  went  like  a 
serpent  into  the  Eden  of  peace  over  which  they 
presided.  Their  letters  to  him  never  came  un- 
embalmed  in  a  mother's  tears,  and  were  never 
read  without  the  tender  response  which  a  moth 
er's  tears  ever  draw  from  the  eyes  of  a  truly  af 
fectionate  son. 

The  night  came,  and  George  and  Evelina  were 
married. 

A  round  of  bridal  parties  succeeded,  every  one 
of  which  served  only  to  heighten  George's  alarms 
and  to  depress  his  spirits.  He  could  not  dis 
cover  that  marriage  had  abated  in  the  smallest 
degree  his  wife's  love  of  general  admiration  and 
flattery.  The  delight  which  she  felt  at  the  at 
tentions  of  the  young  gentlemen  was  visible  to 
more  eyes  than  his,  as  was  plainly  evinced  by 
the  throngs  which  attended  her  wheresoever  she 
moved.  Occasionally  their  assiduities  assumed 
a  freedom  which  was  well  calculated  to  alarm 
and  to  inflame  one  whose  notions  of  married  life 
were  much  less  refined  than  those  which  George 
had  ever  entertained ;  but  there  was  an  apology 
for  them,  which  he  knew  he  would  be  forced  to 
admit,  flimsy  as  it  was  in  truth — namely,  "they 
were  only  those  special  attentions  which  were 
due  to  the  queen  of  a  bridal  party/'  Another 
consideration  forced  him  to  look  in  silence  upon 
those  liberties.  His  wife  had  taken  no  offence 


130  GEORGIA    SCENES 

at  them.  She  either  did  not  repel  them  at  all, 
or  she  repelled  them  in  such  a  good  -  humored 
way  that  she  encouraged  rather  than  prevented 
the  repetition  of  them.  For  him,  therefore,  to 
have  interposed  would  have  been  considered  an 
act  of  supererogation. 

To  the  great  delight  of  George,  the  parties 
ended,  and  the  young  couple  set  out  on  a  visit 
to  Lagrange,  the  residence  of  George's  parents. 
On  their  way  thither,  Evelina  was  secluded,  of 
course,  from  the  gaze  of  every  person  but  her 
husband  ;  and  her  attachment  now  became  as 
much  too  ardent  as  it  had  before  been  too  cold. 
If,  at  their  stages,  he  left  her  for  a  moment,  she 
was  piqued  at  his  coldness  or  distressed  at  his 
neglect.  If  he  engaged  in  a  conversation  with 
an  acquaintance  or  a  stranger  he  was  sure  to  be 
interrupted  by  his  wife's  waiting-maid,  Flora, 
with  "Miss  V'lina  say,  please  go  da,  sir";  and 
when  he  went  he  always  found  her  in  tears  or 
in  a  pet  at  having  been  neglected  so  long  by 
him,  "  when  he  knew  she  had  no  friend  or  com 
panion  to  entertain  her  but  himself." 

George  had  been  long  acquainted  with  the 
ladies  of  the  houses  at  which  they  stopped. 
They  all  esteemed  him,  and  were  all  anxious 
to  be  made  acquainted  with  his  wife  ;  but  she 
could  not  be  drawn  from  her  room,  from  the 
time  she  entered  a  house  until  she  rose  to  leave 
it.  All  her  meals  were  taken  in  her  room  ;  and 
George  was  rebuked  by  her  because  he  would 
not  follow  her  example.  It  was  in  vain  that  he 
reasoned  with  her  upon  the  impropriety  of  chang- 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A    WIFE  131 

ing  his  deportment  to  his  old  acquaintances  im 
mediately  after  his  marriage.  He  stated  to  her 
that  the  change  would  be  attributed  to  pride ; 
that  he  should  lose  a  number  of  humble_but 
valuable  acquaintances,  which,  to  a  professional 
gentleman,  is  no  small  loss.  But  "she  could 
not  understand  that  a  gentleman  is  at  liberty  to 
neglect  his  wife  for  'humble  but  valuable  ac 
quaintances.'  ' 

When  they  reached  Lagrange  they  received  as 
warm  a  welcome  from  George's  parents  as  par 
ents  laboring  under  their  apprehensions  could 
give  ;  but  Mary  and  Martha,  having  nothing  to 
mar  their  pleasures  (for  they  had  not  been  per 
mitted  to  know  the  qualifications  which  George's 
last  letters  had  annexed  to  his  first),  received 
her  with  all  the  delight  which  the  best  hearts 
could  feel  at  welcoming  to  the  family,  in  the 
character  of  a  sister,  the  beautiful,  amiable,  ac 
complished,  intelligent,  wealthy  Miss  Smith.  In 
anticipation  of  her  coming,  the  girls  had  brushed 
up  their  history,  philosophy,  geography,  astrono 
my,  and  botany  for  her  especial  entertainment, 
or.  rather,  that  they  might  appear  a  little  at 
home  when  their  new  sister  should  invite  them 
to  a  ramble  over  the  fields  of  science.  The  la 
bor  answered  not  its  purpose,  however  ;  Evelina 
would  neither  invite  nor  be  invited  to  any  such 
rambles. 

The  news  of  George's  arrival  at  Lagrange  with 
his  wife  brought  many  of  his  rustic  acquaintances 
to  visit  him.  To  many  of  them  George  was  as 
a  son  or  a  brother,  for  he  had  been  acquainted 


132  GEORGIA    SCENES 

with  them  from  his  earliest  years,  and  he  had  a 
thousand  times  visited  their  habitations  with  the 
freedom  with  which  he  entered  his  father's. 
They  met  him,  therefore,  with  unrestrained  fa 
miliarity,  and  treated  his  wife  as  a  part  of  him 
self.  George  had  endeavored  to  prepare  her  for 
the  plain,  blunt,  but  honest  familiarities  of  his 
early  friends.  He  had  assured  her  that,  how 
ever  rude  they  might  seem,  they  were  perfect 
ly  innocent — nay,  they  were  tokens  of  guileless 
friendship;  for  the  natural  disposition  of  plain 
unlettered  farmers  was  to  keep  aloof  from  "the 
quality,"  as  they  called  the  people  of  the  town, 
and  that  by  as  much  as  they  overcame  this  dis 
position,  by  so  much  did  they  mean  to  be  under 
stood  as  evincing  favor  ;  but  Evelina  profited 
but  little  by  his  lessons. 

The  first  visitor  was  old  Mr.  Dawson,  who  had 
dandled  George  on  his  knee  a  thousand  times, 
and  who,  next  to  his  father,  was  the  sincerest 
male  friend  that  George  had  living. 

"Well,  Georgy,"  said  the  old  man,  "and  you've 
got  married  ?" 

"  Yes,  Uncle  Sammy,  and  here's  my  wife.  What 
do  you  think  of  her  ?" 

"  Why,  she's  a  mighty  pretty  Greater  ;  but 
you'd  better  took  my  Nance.  She'd  'ave  made 
you  another  sort  of  wife  to  this  pretty  little  soft 
creater." 

"  I  don't  know,  sir, "said  Evelina,  a  little  fiery, 
"how  you  can  tell  what  sort  of  a  wife  a  person 
will  make  whom  you  never  saw.  And  I  presume 
Mr.  Baldwin  is  old  enough  to  choose  for  himself." 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A   WIPE  133 

"  Ah,  well,  now  I  knoio  he'd  better  'ave  took 
my  Nance/'  said  the  old  man,  with  a  dry  smile. 
"  Georgy,  my  son,  I'm  afraid  you've  got  yourself 
into  bad  business  ;  but  I  wish  you  much  happi 
ness,  my  boy.  Come,  Neighbor  Baldwin,  let's 
go  take  a  look  at  your  farm." 

"Oh  no,"  said  old  Mr.  Baldwin,  "we  will  not 
go  till  I  make  my  daughter  better  acquainted 
with  you.  She  is  unused  to  our  country  man 
ners,  and  therefore  does  not  understand  them. 
Evelina,  my  dear,  Mr.  Dawson  is  one  of  our  best 
and  kindest  neighbors,  and  you  and  he  must  not 
break  upon  your  first  acquaintance.  He  was 
only  joking  George  in  what  he  said,  and  had  no 
idea  that  you  would  take  it  seriously." 

"Well,  sir," said  Evelina,  "if  Mr.  Dawson  will 
say  that  he  did  not  intend  to  wound  my  feelings, 
Fm  willing  to  forgive  him." 

"  Oh,  God  love  your  pretty  little  soul  of  you," 
said  the  old  man,  "I  didn't  even  know  you  had 
any  feelings  ;  but  as  to  the  forgiving  part,  why, 
that's  neither  here  nor  there !"  Here  Evelina 
rose  indignantly  and  left  the  room. 

"  Well,  Georgy,  my  son,"  continued  the  old 
man,  "  I'm  sorry  your  wife's  so  touchy  ;  but  you 
mustn't  forget  old  Daddy  Dawson.  Come,  my 
boy,  to  our  house,  like  you  used  to,  when  you 
and  Sammy  and  Nancy  used  to  sit  round  the 
bowl  of  buttermilk  under  the  big  oak  that  cov 
ered  Mammy  Dawson's  dairy.  I  always  think  of 
poor  Sammy  when  I  see  you"  (brushing  a  tear 
from  his  eye  with  the  back  of  his  hand).  "I'm 
obliged  to  love  you,  you  young  dog  ;  and  I  want 


134 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


to  love  your  wife  too,  if  she'd  let  me  ;  but,  be 
that  as  it  may,  Sammy's  playmate  won't  forget 
Daddy  Dawson — will  he,  George  ?" 

George  could  only  say  "  Never  !"  with  a  filling 
eye,  and  the  old  men  set  out  for  the  fields. 

Most  of  the  neighbors  who  came  to  greet 
George  upon  his  return  to  Lagrange  shared  Mr. 


"ANOTHER   WOULD  'BUSS  HER*   BECAUSE    SHE   WAS 

GEORGE'S  WIFE" 


Dawson's  fate.  One  wanted  to  span  Evelina's 
waist,  for  he  declared  "  she  was  the  littlest 
creater  round  the  waist  he  ever  seed."  Another 
would  "  buss  her  because  she  was  George^s  wife, 
and  because  it  was  the  first  chance  he  ever  had 
in  all  his  life  to  buss  'the  quality."  A  third 
proposed  a  swap  of  wives  with  George,  and  all 


THE    "CHARMING   CREATURE"   AS    A   WIPE  135 

made  some  remark  too  blunt  for  Evelina's  re 
fined  ear.  Having  no  tact  for  turning  off  these 
things  playfully,  and  as  little  disposition  to  do 
so,  she  repelled  them  with  a  town  dignity  which 
soon  relieved  her  of  these  intrusions,  and  in  less 
than  a  week  stopped  the  visits  of  George's  first 
and  warmest  friends  to  his  father's  house. 

Her  habits,  views,  and  feelings  agreeing  in 
nothing  with  the  family  in  which  she  was  placed, 
Evelina  was  unhappy  herself,  and  made  all 
around  her  unhappy.  Her  irregular  hours  of 
retiring  and  rising,  her  dilatoriness  in  attend 
ing  her  meals,  her  continual  complaints  of  in 
disposition,  deranged  all  the  regulations  of  the 
family,  and  begot  such  confusion  in  the  house 
hold  that  even  the  elder  Mrs.  Baldwin  occa 
sionally  lost  her  equanimity;  so  that  when  Ev 
elina  announced,  a  week  before  the  appointed 
time,  that  she  must  return  home,  the  intelligence 
was  received  with  pleasure  rather  than  pain. 

Upon  their  return  home,  George  and  his  lady 
found  a  commodious  dwelling  handsomely  fur 
nished  for  their  reception.  Mr.  Smith  presented 
him  this  in  lieu  of  the  check  of  which  he  had 
spoken  before  the  marriage  of  his  daughter ;  and 
though  the  gift  did  not  redeem  the  promise  by 
114,000,  George  was  perfectly  satisfied.  Mrs. 
Smith  added  to  the  donation  her  own  cook  and 
carriage-driver.  Flora,  the  maid,  had  been  con 
sidered  Evelina's  from  her  infancy.  Nothing 
could  have  been  more  agreeable  to  George  than 
the  news  that  greeted  him  on  his  arrival,  that  he 
was  at  liberty  to  name  the  day  when  he  would 


136  GEORGIA    SCENES 

conduct  Evelina  to  his  own  house  ;  for  his  last 
hope  of  happiness  hung  upon  this  last  change  of 
life.  He  allowed  himself  but  two  days  after  his 
return  to  lay  in  his  store  of  provisions ;  and  on 
the  third,  at  four  in  the  afternoon,  he  led  his 
wife  to  their  mutual  home. 

"To  this  moment,  my  dear  Evelina,"  said 
George,  as  they  seated  themselves  in  their  own 
habitation — "to  this  moment  have  I  looked  for 
ward  for  many  months  with  the  liveliest  interest. 
I  have  often  figured  to  myself  the  happy  hours 
that  we  should  enjoy  under  the  common  roof,  and 
I  hope  the  hour  has  arrived  when  we  will  unite 
our  endeavors  to  realize  my  fond  anticipations. 
Let  us,  then,  upon  the  commencement  of  a  new 
life,  interchange  our  pledges  that  we  will  each 
exert  ourselves  to  promote  the  happiness  of  the 
other.  In  many  respects,  it  must  be  acknoAvl- 
edged  that  our  views  and  dispositions  are  differ 
ent  ;  but  they  will  soon  be  assimilated  by  identity 
of  interest,  community  of  toil,  and  a  frank  and 
affectionate  interchange  of  opinions,  if  we  will 
but  consent  to  submit  to  some  little  sacrifices  in 
the  beginning  to  attain  this  object.  Now  tell 
me,  candidly  and  fearlessly,  my  Evelina,  what 
would  you  have  me  be,  and  what  would  you 
have  me  do,  to  answer  your  largest  wishes  from 
your  husband  ?" 

"I  would  have  you,"  said  Evelina,  "think 
more  of  me  than  all  the  world  beside  ;  I  would 
have  you  the  first  lawyer  in  the  State  ;  I  would 
have  you  overcome  your  dislike  to  such  inno 
cent  amusements  as  tea-parties  and  balls ;  and 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE*'    AS    A    WIFE  137 

I  would  have  you  take  me  to  the  Springs,  or 
to  New  York  or  Philadelphia,  every  summer. 
Now  what  would  you  have  me  do  ?" 

"  I  would  have  you  rise  when  I  do  ;  regulate 
your  servants  with  system  ;  see  that  they  per 
form  their  duties  in  the  proper  way  and  the 
proper  time ;  let  all  provisions  go  through  your 
hands  ;  and  devote  your  spare  time  to  reading 
valuable  works,  painting,  music,  or  any  other 
improving  employment  or  innocent  recreation. 
Be  thus,  and  I  '  ivill  think  more  of  you  than  all 
the  world  beside7;  'I  will  be  the  first  lawyer  in 
the  State';  and  after  a  few  years,  'you  shall  visit 
the  North  or  the  Springs  every  summer/  if  you 
desire  it." 

"  Lord,  if  I  do  all  these  things  you  mention 
I  shall  have  no  time  for  reading,  music,  or 
painting  !" 

"  Yes  you  will.     My  mother — 

"  Oh,  for  the  Lord's  sake,  Mr.  Baldwin,  hush 
talking  about  your  mother  !  I'm  sick  and  tired 
of  hearing  you  talk  of  tfmy  mother'  this,  and 
'  my  mother '  that ;  and  when  I  went  to  your 
house  I  didn't  see  that  she  got  along  a  bit  bet 
ter  than  my  mother,  except  in  her  cooking  ;  and, 
that  was  only  because  your  mother  cooked  the 
meats  and  your  sisters  made  the  pastry.  I  don't 
see  the  use  of  having  servants  if  one  must  do 
everything  herself." 

"  My  sisters  make  the  pastry,  to  be  sure ;  be 
cause  mother  desires  that  they  should  learn  how 
to  do  these  things,  that  they  may  better  super 
intend  the  doing  of  them  when  they  get  mar- 


138  GEORGIA   SCENES 

ried,  and  because  she  thinks  such  things  should 
not  pass  through  the  hands  of  servants  when  it 
can  be  avoided ;  but  my  mother  never  cooks." 

"  She  does,  for  I  saw  her  lifting  off  a  pot  my 
self." 

"  She  does  not — " 

Here  the  entry  of  the  cook  stopped  a  contro 
versy  that  was  becoming  rather  warm  for  the  first 
evening  at  home. 

"  I  want  the  keys,  Miss  'V'lina,  to  get  out 
supper,"  said  the  cook. 

"  There  they  are,  Aunt*  Clary,"  said  Evelina  ; 
"  try  and  have  everything  very  nice." 

"  My  dear,  I  wouldn't  send  her  to  the  provi 
sions  unattended  ;  everything  depends  upon  your 
commencing  right — 

"  Hush  !"  said  Evelina,  with  some  agitation ; 
"  I  wouldn't  have  her  hear  you  for  the  world. 
She'd  be  very  angry  if  she  thought  we  suspected 
her  honesty.  Ma  always  gave  her  up  the  keys, 
and  she  says  she  never  detected  her  in  a  theft 
in  all  her  life." 

"Very  well,"  said  George,  "we'll  see." 

After  a  long  waiting,  the  first  supper  made  its 
appearance.  It  consisted  of  smoked  tea,  half- 
baked  biscuit,  butter,  and  sliced  venison. 

"  Why,"  said  Evelina,  as  she  sipped  her  first 
cup  of  tea,  "this  tea  seems  to  me  to  be  smoked. 
Here,  Flora,  throw  it  out  and  make  some  more. 

*"Aunt"  and  "mauma,"  or  "maum,"  its  abbrevia 
tion,  are  terms  of  respect  commonly  used  by  children  to 
aged  negroes.  The  first  generally  prevails  in  the  up- 
country,  and  the  second  on  the  seaboard. 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"   AS    A    WIFE  139 

Oh,  me  !  the  biscuit  ain't  done.  Aunt  Clary's 
made  quite  an  unfortunate  beginning.  But  I 
didn't  want  any  supper — do  you  ?" 

"  I  can  do  without  it,"  said  George,  coldly, 
"if  you  can." 

"  Well,  let's  not  eat  any,  and  that  will  be  the 
very  way  to  mortify  Aunt  Clary  without  making 
her  mad.  To-morrow  I'll  laugh  at  her  for  cheat 
ing  us  out  of  our  supper,  and  she  won't  do  so 
any  more.  The  old  creature  has  very  tender 
feelings." 

"  HI  starve  for  a  week  to  save  Clary's  feel 
ings/'  said  George,  "  if  you  will  only  quit  aunt- 
ing  her.  How  can  you  expect  her  to  treat  you 
or  your  orders  with  respect  when  you  treat  her 
as  your  superior  ?" 

"  Well,  really,  I  can't  see  any  great  harm  in 
treating  aged  people  with  respect,  even  if  their 
skins  are  black." 

"  I  wish  you  had  thought  of  that  when  you 
were  talking  to  old  Mr.  Dawson.  I  should  think 
he  was  entitled  to  as  much  respect  as  an  infernal 
black  wench  !" 

This  was  the  harshest  expression  that  had  ever 
escaped  George's  lips.  Evelina  could  not  stand 
it.  She  left  the  room,  threw  herself  on  a  bed, 
and  burst  into  tears. 

In  the  course  of  the  night  the  matter  was  ad 
justed. 

The  next  morning  George  rose  with  the  sun, 
and  he  tried  to  prevail  upon  his  wife  to  do  the 
same  ;  but  "  she  could  not  see  what  was  the  use 
of  her  getting  up  so  soon,  just  to  set  about  doing 


140  GEORGIA    SCENES 

nothing  ";  and,  to  silence  all  further  importuni 
ties  then  and  after  upon  that  score,  she  told  him 
flatly  she  never  would  consent  to  rise  at  that 
hour. 

At  half  after  eight  she  made  her  appearance, 
and  breakfast  came  in.  It  consisted  of  muddy 
coffee,  hard-boiled  eggs,  and  hard-burnt  biscuit. 

"Why,  what  has  got  into  Aunt  Clary,"  said 
Evelina,  "  that  she  cooks  so  badly  ?" 

"  Why,  we  mortified  her  so  much,  my  dear,  by 
eating  no  supper,"  said  George,  "that  we  have 
driven  her  to  the  opposite  extreme.  Let  us  now 
throw  the  breakfast  upon  her  hands,  except  the 
coffee,  and  perhaps  she'll  be  mortified  back  to  a 
medium." 

"That's  very  witty,  indeed,"  said  Evelina; 
"you  must  have  learned  it  from  the  amiable  and 
accomplished  Miss  Nancy  Dawson." 

This  was  an  allusion  which  George  could  not 
withstand,  and  he  reddened  to  scarlet. 

"Evelina,"  said  he,  "you  are  certainly  the 
strangest  being  that  I  ever  met  with  ;  you  are 
more  respectful  to  negroes  than  to  whites,  and 
to  everybody  else  than  to  your  husband." 

"Because,"  returned  she,  "negroes  treat  me 
with  more  respect  than  some  whites ;  and  every 
body  else  with  more  respect  than  my  husband." 

George  was  reluctant  to  commence  tightening 
the  reins  of  discipline  with  his  servants  for  the 
first  few  weeks  of  his  mastership ;  and  therefore 
he  bore  in  silence,  but  in  anger,  their  idleness, 
their  insolence,  and  their  disgusting  familiarities 
with  his  wife.  He  often  visited  the  kitchen,  un- 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A    WIFE  141 

observed,  of  nights,  and  almost  always  found  it 
thronged  with  gay  company,  revelling  in  all  the 
daintiest  of  his  closet,  smoke-house,  sideboard, 
and  pantry.  He  communicated  his  discoveries 
to  his  wife,  but  she  found  no  difficulty  in  ac 
counting  satisfactorily  for  all  that  he  had  seen. 
"  Clary's  husband  had  always  supplied  her  with 
everything  she  wanted.  Flora  had  a  hundred 
ways  of  getting  money ;  and  Billy  (the  carriage- 
driver)  was  always  receiving  little  presents  from 
her  and  others." 

At  the  end  of  three  weeks  Aunt  Clary  an 
nounced  that  the  barrel  of  flour  was  out. 

"  Now,"  said  George,  "  I  hope  you  are  satisfied 
that  it  is  upon  your  flour,  and  not  upon  her 
husband's,  that  Aunt  Clary  gives  her  entertain 
ments." 

"  Why,  law  me  !"  said  Evelina,  "  I  think  it  has 
lasted  wonderfully.  You  recollect  ma  and  pa 
have  been  here  "most  every  day." 

"  Had  they  boarded  with  us/'  said  George,  "  we 
could  not  have  consumed  a  barrel  of  flour  in  three 
weeks." 

In  quick  succession  came  the  news  that  the  tea, 
coffee,  and  sugar  were  out ;  all  of  which  Evelina 
thought  "had  lasted  wonderfully." 

It  would  be  useless  to  recount  the  daily  dif 
ferences  of  George  and  his  wife.  In  nothing 
could  they  agree ;  and  the  consequence  was 
that  at  the  end  of  six  weeks  they  had  come  to 
downright  quarrelling,  through  all  which  Evelina 
sought  and  received  the  sympathy  of  Miss  Flora 
and  Aunt  Clary. 


142  GEORGIA    SCENES 

About  this  time  the  Superior  Court  commenced 
its  session  in  the  city ;  and  a  hundred  like  favors, 
received  from  the  judge  and  the  bar,  imposed 
upon  George  the  absolute  necessity  of  giving  a 
dinner  to  his  brethren.  He  used  every  precau 
tion  to  pass  it  off  well.  He  gave  his  wife  four 
days'  notice  ;  he  provided  everything  himself,  of 
the  best  that  the  town  could  afford  ;  he  became 
all  courtesy  and  affection  to  his  wife,  and  all 
respect  and  cheerfulness  to  Aunt  Clary,  in  the 
interim.  He  promised  all  the  servants  a  hand 
some  present  each  if  they  would  acquit  them 
selves  well  upon  this  occasion,  and  charged  them 
all,  over  and  over,  to  remember  that  the  time 
between  two  and  half-past  three  was  all  that  the 
bar  could  allow  to  his  entertainment ;  and,  con 
sequently,  dinner  must  be  upon  the  table  precise 
ly  at  two. 

The  day  came  and  the  company  assembled. 
Evelina,  attired  like  a  queen,  received  them  in 
the  drawing-room,  and  all  were  delighted  with 
her.  All  were  cheerful,  talkative,  and  happy. 
Two  o'clock  came,  and  no  dinner ;  a  quarter  af 
ter,  and  no  dinner.  The  conversation  began  to 
flag  a  little.  Half -past  two  rolled  round,  and  no 
dinner.  Conversation  sank  to  temperate,  and 
George  rose  to  intemperate.  Three  -  quarters 
past  two  came,  but  no  dinner.  Conversation 
sank  to  freezing,  and  George  rose  to  fever  heat. 

At  this  interesting  moment,  while  he  was 
sauntering  every  way,  George  sauntered  near  his 
wife,  who  was  deeply  engaged  in  a  conversation 
with  his  brother  Paine,  a  grave,  intelligent  young 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A    WIFE  143 

man,  and  he  detected  her  in  the  act  of  repeating, 
verbatim  et  literatim,  the  pretty  sentences  which 
first  subdued  his  heart. 

"  Good  Lord  !"  muttered  George  to  himself  ; 
"Jenkinson,  in  the  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  with  his 
one  sentence  of  learning  revived  !" 

He  rushed  out  of  the  room  in  order  to  inquire 
what  delayed  dinner  ;  and  on  leaving  the  dining- 
room  was  met  at  the  door  by  Flora  with  two 
pale-blue,  dry,  boiled  fowls,  boiled  almost  to  dis 
memberment,  upon  a  dish  large  enough  to  con 
tain  a  goodly -sized  shote,  their  legs  sticking 
straight  out,  with  a  most  undignified  straddle, 
and  bowing  with  a  bewitching  grace  and  elastic 
ity  to  George  with  every  step  that  Flora  made. 

Behind  her  followed  Billy,  with  a  prodigious 
roast  turkey,  upon  a  dish  that  was  almost  con 
cealed  by  its  contents,  his  legs  extended  like  the 
fowls,  the  back  and  sides  burned  to  a  crisp,  and 
the  breast  raw.  The  old  gentleman  was  hand 
somely  adorned  with  a  large  black  twine  neck 
lace  ;  and  through  a  spacious  window  that,  by 
chance  or  design,  the  cook  had  left  open  the 
light  poured  into  his  vacant  cavity  gloriously. 

George  stood  petrified  at  the  sight ;  nor  did  he 
wake  from  his  stupor  of  amazement  until  he  was 
roused  by  a  burned  round  of  beef  and  a  raw  leg 
of  mutton  making  by  him  for  the  same  port  in 
which  the  fowls  and  turkey  had  been  moored. 

He  rushed  into  the  kitchen  in  a  fury.  "  You 
infernal  heifer  !"  said  he  to  Aunt  Clary  ;  "  what 
kind  of  cooking  is  this  you're  setting  before  my 
company  ?" 


144  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"  Eli — eh  !  Name  'o  God,  Mas'  George  ;  how 
anybody  gwine  cook  t/ing  good  when  you  hurry 
'em  so  ?" 

George  looked  for  something  to  throw  at  her 
head,  but  fortunately  found  nothing. 

He  returned  to  the  house,  and  found  his  wife 
entertaining  the  company  with  a  never-ending 
sonata  on  the  piano. 

Dinner  was  at  length  announced,  and  an  awful 
sight  it  was  when  full  spread.  George  made  as 
good  apologies  as  he  could,  but  his  wife  was  not 
in  the  least  disconcerted  ;  indeed,  she  seemed  to 
assume  an  air  of  self-complaisance  at  the  pro 
fusion  and  richness  which  crowned  her  board. 

The  gentlemen  ate  but  little,  owing,  as  they 
said,  to  their  having  all  eaten  a  very  hearty 
breakfast  that  morning.  George  followed  his 
guests  to  the  Court-house,  craved  a  continuance 
of  his  cases  for  the  evening  on  the  ground  of  in 
disposition,  and  it  was  granted,  with  an  unac 
countable  display  of  sympathy.  He  returned 
home  and  embarked  in  a  quarrel  with  his  wife, 
which  lasted  until  Evelina's  exhausted  nature 
sank  to  sleep  under  it,  at  three  the  next  morning. 

George's  whole  character  now  became  com 
pletely  revolutionized.  Universal  gloom  over 
spread  his  countenance.  He  lost  his  spirits,  his 
energy,  his  life,  his  temper,  his  everything  en 
nobling  ;  and  he  had  just  begun  to  surrender 
himself  to  the  bottle,  when  an  accident  occurred 
which  revived  his  hopes  of  happiness  with  his 
wife,  and  determined  him  to  make  one  more  ef 
fort  to  bring  her  into  his  views. 


THE    "CHARMING    CREATURE"    AS    A    WIFE  145 

Mr.  Smith,  by  an  unfortunate  investment  in 
cotton,  failed  ;  and,  after  a  bungling  attempt  to 
secrete  a  few  thousand  dollars  from  his  creditors 
(for  he  knew  George  too  well  to  claim  his  assist 
ance  in  such  a  matter),  he  was  left  without  a  dol 
lar  that  he  could  call  his  own.  Evelina  and  her 
parents  all  seemed  as  if  they  would  go  crazy  un 
der  the  misfortune  ;  and  George  now  assumed 
the  most  affectionate  deportment  to  his  wife  and 
the  most  soothing  demeanor  to  her  parents.  The 
parents  were  completely  won  to  him  ;  and  his 
wife,  for  once,  seemed  to  feel  towards  him  as  she 
should.  George  availed  himself  of  this  moment 
to  make  another  and  the  last  attempt  to  reform 
her  habits  and  sentiments. 

"  My  dear  Evelina,"  said  he,  "  we  have  noth 
ing  now  to  look  to  but  our  own  exertions  for  a 
support.  This,  and  indeed  affluence,  lies  within 
our  reach  if  we  will  but  seek  them  in  a  proper 
way.  You  have  only  to  use  industry  and  care 
within -doors,  and  I  without,  to  place  us,  in  a 
very  few  years,  above  the  frowns  of  fortune. 
AVe  have  only  to  consult  each  other's  happiness 
to  make  each  other  happy.  Come,  then,  my 
love,  forgetting  our  disgraceful  bickerings,  let 
us  now  commence  a  new  life.  Believe  me,  there 
is  110  being  on  this  earth  that  my  heart  can  love 
as  it  can  you,  if  you  will  but  claim  its  affections  ; 
and  you  know  how  to  command  them."  Thus, 
at  much  greater  length,  and  with  much  more 
tenderness,  did  George  address  her.  His  appeal 
had,  for  a  season,  its  desired  effect.  Evelina 

rose  with  him,  retired  with  him,  read  with  him. 
10 


146  GEORGIA    SCENES 

She  took  charge  of  the  keys,  dealt  out  the  stores 
with  her  own  hand,  visited  the  kitchen  ;  in  short, 
she  became  everything  George  could  wish  or  ex 
pect  from  one  of  her  inexperience.  Things  im 
mediately  wore  a  new  aspect.  George  became 
himself  again.  He  recommenced  his  studies 
with  redoubled  assiduity.  The  community  saw 
and  delighted  in  the  change,  and  the  bar  began 
to  tremble  at  his  giant  strides  in  his  profession. 
But,  alas  !  his  bliss  was  doomed  to  a  short  dura 
tion.  Though  Evelina  saw,  and  felt,  and  ac 
knowledged  the  advantages  and  blessings  of  her 
new  course  of  conduct,  she  had  to  preserve  it  by 
a  struggle  against  nature  ;  and,  at  the  end  of 
three  months,  nature  triumphed  over  resolution, 
and  she  relapsed  into  her  old  habits.  George 
now  surrendered  himself  to  drink  and  to  despair, 
and  died  the  drunkard's  death.  At  another  time 
I  may  perhaps  give  the  melancholy  account  of 
his  ruin  in  detail,  tracing  its  consequences  down 
to  the  moment  at  which  I  am  now  writing. 
Should  this  time  never  arrive,  let  the  fate  of  my 
poor  nephew  be  a  warning  to  mothers  against 
bringing  up  their  daughters  to  be  "charming 
creatures. " 

BALDWIN. 


THE  GANDER-PULLING 

IN  the  year  1798  I  resided  in  the  city  of  Au 
gusta,,  and,  upon  visiting  the  market-house  one 
morning  in  that  year,,  my  attention  was  called  to 
the  following  notice,  stuck  upon  one  of  the  pil 
lars  of  the  building  : 

"  advurtysement. 

"  Thos  woo  Avish  To  be  inform  heareof,  is 
heareof  notyfide  that  edwd.  Prator  will  giv  a 
gander-pullin,  jis  this  side  of  harisburg,  on  Sat- 
terday  of  thes  prcssents  munth  to  All  woo  mout 
wish  to  partak  tharof. 

"e  Prator,  thos  wishin  to 

purtak  will  cum  yearly,  as  the  pullin  will  begin 
soon.  c.  p." 

If  I  am  asked  why  "  jis  this  side  of  harisburg  " 
was  selected  for  the  promised  feat  instead  of  the 
city  of  Augusta,  I  answer  from  conjecture,  but 
with  some  confidence,  because  the  ground  chosen 
was  near  the  central  point  between  four  rival 
towns,  the  citizens  of  all  which  ''mout  wish  to 
partak  tharof";  namely,  Augusta,  Springfield, 
Harrisburg,  and  Campbellton.  Not  that  each 


148  GEORGIA    SCENES 

was  the  rival  of  all  the  others,  but  that  the  first 
and  the  last  were  competitors,  and  each  of  the 
others  backed  the  pretensions  of  its  nearest 
neighbor.  Harrisburg  sided  with  Campbellton, 
not  because  she  had  any  interest  in  seeing  the  busi 
ness  of  the  two  States  centre  upon  the  bank  of  the 
river,  nearly  opposite  to  her,  but  because,  like 
the  "Union  Democratic  Republican  Party  of 
Georgia,"  she  thought,  after  the  adoption  of  the 
Federal  Constitution,  that  the  several  towns  of 
the  confederacy  should  no  longer  be  "  separated" 
by  the  distinction  of  local  party  ;  but  that,  lay 
ing  down  all  former  prejudices  and  jealousies  as 
a  sacrifice  on  the  altar  of  their  country,  they 
should  become  united  in  a  single  body,  for  the 
maintenance  of  those  principles  which  they 
deemed  essential  to  the  public  welfare. 

Springfield,  on  the  other  hand,  espoused  the 
State  Rights  creed.  She  admitted  that,  under 
the  Federal  Compact,  she  ought  to  love  the  sis 
ter  States  very  much  ;  but  that,  under  the  Social 
Compact,  she  ought  to  love  her  own  State  a  little 
more  ;  and  she  thought  the  two  compacts  per 
fectly  reconcilable  to  each  other.  Instead  of  the 
towns  of  the  several  States  getting  into  single 
bodies  to  preserve  the  public  welfare,  her  doc 
trine  was,  that  they  should  be  kept  in  separate 
bodies  to  preserve  the  private  welfare.  She  ad 
mitted  frankly  that,  living,  as  she  always  had 
lived,  right  amid  gullies,  vapors,  fogs,  creeks, 
and  lagoons,  she  was  wholly  incapable  of  com 
prehending  that  expansive  kind  of  benevolence 
which  taught  her  to  love  people  whom  she  knew 


THE    GANDER-PULLING  149 

nothing  about  as  much  as  her  next-door  neigh 
bors  and  friends.  Until,  therefore,  she  should 
learn  it  from  the  practical  operation  of  the  Fed 
eral  Compact,  she  would  stick  to  the  old-fash 
ioned  Scotch  love,  which  she  understood  per 
fectly,  and  "go  in"  for  Augusta,  live  or  die,  hit 
or  miss,  right  or  wrong.  As  in  the  days  of  Mr. 
Jefferson  the  Springfield  doctrines  prevailed, 
Campbellton  was  literally  nullified;  insomuch 
that  ten  years  ago  there  was  not  a  house  left 
to  mark  the  spot  where  once  flourished  this 
active,  busy  little  village.  Those  who  are  curi 
ous  to  know  where  Springfield  stood  at  the  time 
of  which  I  am  speaking  have  only  to  take  their 
position  at  the  intersection  of  Broad  and  Mar- 
bury  streets,  in  the  city  of  Augusta,  and  they  will 
be  in  the  very  heart  of  old  Springfield.  Sixty 
steps  west  and  as  many  east  of  this  position 
will  measure  the  whole  length  of  the  Jefferso- 
nian  republican  village,  which  never  boasted  of 
more  than  four  dwelling-houses ;  and  Broad  Street 
measures  its  width,  if  we  exclude  kitchens  and 
stables.  And,  while  upon  this  subject,  since  it 
has  been  predicted  by  a  man  for  whose  opinions 
I  entertain  the  profoundest  respect*  (especially 
since  the  prediction)  that  my  writings  will  be 
read  with  increased  interest  a  hundred  years  to 
come,  and  as  I  can  see  no  good  reason,  if  this  be 
true,  why  they  should  not  be  read  a  thousand 
years  hence  with  more  interest,  I  will  take  the 
liberty  of  dropping  a  word  here  to  the  curious 

*  The  editor  of  the  Hickory  Nut. 


150  GEORGIA    SCENES 

reader  of  the  year  1933.  He  will  certainly  wish 
to  know  the  site  of  Harrisburg  (seeing  it  is 
doomed,  at  no  distant  period,  to  share  the  fate 
of  Springfield)  and  of  Campbellton. 

Supposing,  then,  that  if  the  great  fire  in  Au- 
gusta  on  the  3d  of  April,  1829,  did  not  destroy 
that  city  nothing  will,  I  select  this  as  a  per 
manent  ohject. 

In  1798,  Campbell  Street  was  the  western 
verge  of  Augusta,  a  limit  to  which  it  had  ad 
vanced  but  a  few  years  before,  from  Jackson 
Street.  Thence  to  Springfield  led  a  large  road, 
now  built  up  on  either  side,  and  forming  a  con 
tinuation  of  Broad  Street.  This  road  was  cut 
across  obliquely  by  a  deep  gully,  the  bed  of 
which  was  an  almost  impassable  bog,  which  en 
tered  the  road  about  one  hundred  yards  below 
Collock  Street  on  the  south,  and  left  it  about 
thirty  yards  below  Collock  Street  on  the  north 
side  of  now  Broad  Street.  It  was  called  Camp 
bell's  Gully,  from  the  name  of  the  gentleman 
through  whose  possessions  and  near  whose  dwell 
ing  it  wound  its  way  to  the  river.  Following  the 
direction  of  Broad  Street  from  Springfield  west 
ward,  1347  yards  will  bring  you  to  Harrisburg, 
which  had  nothing  to  boast  of  over  Springfield 
but  a  warehouse  for  the  storage  of  tobacco,  then 
the  staple  of  Georgia.  Continue  the  same  di 
rection  700  yards,  then  face  to  your  right  hand, 
and  follow  your  nose  directly  across  Savan 
nah  River,  and,  upon  ascending  the  opposite 
bank,  you  will  be  in  the  busiest  part  of  Camp 
bellton  in  1798.  Between  Harrisburg  and  Spring- 


THE    GANDER -PULLIN&  l5l 

field,  and  1143  yards  from  the  latter,  there  runs 
a  stream  which  may  be  perpetual.  At  the  time 
just  mentioned  it  flowed  between  banks  twelve 
or  fourteen  feet  high,  and  was  then  called,  as  it 
still  is,  "Hawk's  Gully."* 

Now  Mr.  Prator,  like  the  most  successful  poli 
tician  of  the  present  day,  was  on  all  sides  in  a 
doubtful  contest ;  and,  accordingly,  he  laid  off 
his  gander-pulling  ground  on  the  nearest  suita 
ble  unappropriated  spot  to  the  centre  point  be 
tween  Springfield  and  Harrisburg.  This  was  be 
tween  Harrisburg  and  Hawk's  Gully,  to  the  south 
of  the  road,  and  embraced  part  of  the  road,  but 
within  100  yards  of  Ilarrisburg. 

When  "  Satterday  of  thos  pressents  munth  " 
rolled  round,  I  determined  to  go  to  the  gander- 
pulling.  When  I  reached  the  spot,  a  considera 
ble  number  of  persons,  of  different  ages,  sexes, 
sizes,  and  complexions,  had  collected  from  the 
rival  towns  and  the  country  around.  But  few 
females  were  there,  however,  and  those  few  were 
from  the  lowest  walks  of  life. 

A  circular  path  of  about  forty  yards  diame 
ter  had  already  been  laid  out  ;  over  which,  from 
two  posts  about  ten  feet  apart,  stretched  a  rope, 
the  middle  of  which  was  directly  over  the  path. 
The  rope  hung  loosely,  so  as  to  allow  it,  with  the 
weight  of  a  gander  attached  to  it,  to  vibrate  in  an 
arc  of  four  or  five  feet  span,  and  so  as  to  bring 

*  It  took  its  name  from  an  old  man  by  the  name  of 
Hawk,  who  lived  in  a  log  hut  on  a  small  knoll  on  the 
eastern  side  of  the  gully  and  about  a  hundred  yards  south 
of  the  Harrisburg  road. 


152  GEORGIA    SCENES 

the  breast  of  the  gander  within  barely  easy  reach 
of  a  man  of  middle  stature  upon  a  horse  of  com 
mon  size. 

A  hat  was  now  handed  to  such  as  wished  to 
enter  the  list ;  and  they  threw  into  it  twenty- 
five  cents  each.  This  sum  was  the  victor's  prize. 

The  devoted  gander  was  now  produced  ;  and 
Mr.  Prator,  having  first  tied  his  feet  together 
with  a  strong  cord,  proceeded  to  the  neck-greas 
ing.  Abhorrent  as  it  may  be  to  all  who  respect 
the  tenderer  relations  of  life,  Mr*.  Prator  had 
actually  prepared  a  gourd  of  ^/oose-grease  for  this 
very  purpose.  For  myself,  when  I  saw  Ned  dip 
his  hands  into  the  grease,  and  commence  strok 
ing  down  the  feathers  from  breast  to  head,  my 
thoughts  took  a  melancholy  turn.  They  dwelt 
in  sadness  upon  the  many  conjugal  felicities 
which  had  probably  been  shared  between  the 
yreasess  and  the  greasee.  I  could  see  him  as  he 
stood  by  her  side,  through  many  a  chilly  day  and 
cheerless  night,  when  she  was  warming  into  life 
the  offspring  of  their  mutual  loves,  and  repelled, 
with  chivalrous  spirit,  every  invasion  of  the  con 
secrated  spot  which  she  had  selected  for  her  in 
cubation.  I  could  see  him  moving  with  patri 
archal  dignity  by  the  side  of  his  loved  one,  at  the 
head  of  a  smiling,  prattling  group — the  rich  re 
ward  of  their  mutual  care — to  the  luxuries  of  the 
meadow  or  to  the  recreations  of  the  pool.  And 
now,  alas  !  an  extract  from  the  smoking  sacrifice 
of  his  bosom  friend  was  desecrated  to  the  unholy 
purpose  of  making  his  neck  "a  fit  object"  for 
Cruelty  to  reach  "her  quick,  unerring  fingers 


THE    GANDER-PULLING  153 

at."  Ye  friends  of  the  sacred  tie  !  judge  what 
were  my  feelings  when,  in  the  midst  of  these  re 
flections,  the  voice  of  James  Prator  thundered 
on  mine  ear,  "Darn  his  old  dodging  soul !  Brother 
Ned,  grease  his  neck  till  a  fly  can't  light  on  it  I" 

Ned,  having  fulfilled  his  brother  Jim's  request 
as  well  as  he  could,  attached  the  victim  of  his 
cruelty  to  the  rope,  directly  over  the  path.  On 
each  side  of  the  gander  was  stationed  a  man, 
whose  office  it  was  to  lash  forward  any .  horse 
which  might  linger  there  for  a  moment  ;  for,  by 
the  rules  of  the  ring,  all  pulling  was  to  be  done 
at  a  brisk  canter. 

The  word  was  now  given  for  the  competitors 
to  mount  and  take  their  places  in  the  ring. 
Eight  appeared  :  tall  Zubley  Zin,  mounted  upon 
Sally  Spitfire  ;  Arch  (Mum,  mounted  on  Bull 
and  Ingons  (onions) ;  Nathan  Perdew,  on  Hell 
cat  ;  James  Dickson,  on  Nigger ;  David  Will 
iams,  on  Gridiron  ;  fat  John  Fulger,  on  Slouch  ; 
Gorham  Bostwick,  on  Gimlet ;  and  Turner  Ham 
mond,  on  'Possum. 

"  Come,  gentlemen,"  said  Commandant  Prator, 
"  fall  in.  All  of  you  git  behind  one  another,  sort 
o'  in  a  row." 

All  came  into  the  track  very  kindly  but  Sally 
Spitfire  and  Gridiron.  The  former,  as  soon  as 
she  saw  a  general  movement  of  horses,  took  it 
for  granted  there  was  mischief  brewing,  and,  be 
cause  she  could  not  tell  where  it  lay,  she  con 
cluded  it  lay  everywhere,  and  therefore  took 
fright  at  everything. 

Gridiron  was  a  grave  horse  ;  but  a  suspicious 


154  GEORGIA    SCENES 

eye  which  he  cast  to  the  right  and  left,  wherever 
he  moved,,  showed  that  "he  was  wide  awake," 
and  that  "nobody  better  not  go  fooling  with 
him/'  as  his  owner  sometimes  used  to  say.  He 
took  a  sober  but  rather  intense  view  of  things  ; 
insomuch  that,  in  his  contemplations,  he  passed 
over  the  track  three  times  before  he  could  be 
prevailed  upon  to  stop  in  it.  He  stopped  at 
last,  however ;  and  when  he  was  made  to  under 
stand  that  this  was  all  that  was  required  of  him 
for  the  present,  he  surrendered  his  suspicions  at 
once,  with  a  countenance  which  seemed  plainly 
to  say,  "  Oh,  if  this  is  all  you  want,  Fve  no  ob 
jection  to  it  !" 

It  was  long  before  Miss  Spitfire  could  be  pre 
vailed  upon  to  do  the  like. 

"  Get  another  horse,  Zube,"  said  one  ;  "  Sal 
will  never  do  for  a  gander-pullin'." 

"  I  won't,"  said  Zube.  "  If  she  won't  do,  Til 
make  her  do.  I  want  a  nag  that  goes  off  with  a 
spring ;  so  that,  when  I  get  a  hold,  she'll  cut  the 
neck  in  two  like  a  steel- trap." 

At  length  Sally  was  rather  flung  than  coaxed 
into  the  track,  directly  ahead  of  Gridiron. 

"Now,  gentlemen,"  said  the  master  of  the 
ceremonies,  "no  man's  to  make  a  grab  till  all's 
been  once  round ;  and  when  the  first  man  are 
got  round,  then  the  whole  twist  and  tucking  of 
you  grab  away  as  you  come  under — (Look  here, 
Jim  Fulger !  you  better  not  stand  too  close  to 
that  gander,  I  tell  you  !) — one  after  another. 
Now  blaze  away  !"  (the  command  for  an  onset  of 
every  kind  with  people  of  this  order). 


THE   GANDER  PULLING  155 

Off  they  went,  Miss  Sally  delighted  ;  for  she 
now  thought  the  whole  parade  would  end  in 
nothing  more  nor  less  than  her  favorite  amuse 
ment,  a  race.  But  Gridiron's  visage  pronounced 
this  the  most  nonsensical  business  that  ever  a 
horse  of  sense  was  engaged  in  since  the  world 
began. 

For  the  first  three  rounds  Zubley  was  wholly 
occupied  in  restraining  Sally  to  her  place  ;  but 
he  lost  nothing  by  this,  for  the  gander  had  es 
caped  unhurt.  On  completing  his  third  round, 
Zube  reached  forth  his  long  arm,  grabbed  the 
gander  by  the  neck  with  a  firmness  which  seem 
ed  likely  to  defy  goose-grease,  and  at  the  same 
instant  he  involuntarily  gave  Sally  a  sudden 
check.  She  raised  her  head,  which  before  had 
been  kept  nearly  touching  her  leader's  hocks, 
and  for  the  first  time  saw  the  gander  in  the  act 
of  descending  upon  her  ;  at  the  same  moment 
she  received  two  pealing  lashes  from  the  whip- 
pers.  The  way  she  now  broke  for  Springfield 
"  is  nothing  to  nobody.''  As  Zube  dashed  down 
the  road,  the  whole  circus  raised  a  whoop  after 
him.  This  started  about  twenty  dogs,  hounds, 
curs,  and  pointers — in  full  chase  of  him  (for  no 
one  moved  without  his  dog  in  those  days).  The 
dogs  alarmed  some  belled  cattle,  which  were 
grazing  on  Zube's  path,  just  as  he  reached  them; 
these  joined  him,  with  tails  up  and  a  tremendous 
rattling.  Just  beyond  these  went  three  tobacco- 
rollers,  at  distances  of  fifty  and  a  hundred  yards 
apart,  each  of  whom  gave  Zube  a  terrific  whoop, 
scream,  or  yell  as  he  passed. 


156  GEORGIA    SCENES 

He  went  in  and  out  of  Hawk's  Gully  like  a 
trap-ball,  and  was  in  Springfield  "  in  less  than  no 
time."  Here  he  was  encouraged  onward  by  a 
new  recruit  of  dogs  ;  but  they  gave  up  the  chase 
as  hopeless  before  they  cleared  the  village.  Just 
beyond  Springfield,  what  should  Sally  encoun 
ter  but  a  flock  of  geese — the  tribe  to  which  she 
owed  all  her  misfortunes.  She  stopped  sudden 
ly,  and  Zube  went  over  her  head  with  the  last 
acquired  velocity.  He  was  up  in  a  moment,  and 
the  activity  with  which  he  pursued  Sally  satisfied 
every  spectator  that  he  was  unhurt. 

Gridiron,  who  had  witnessed  Miss  Sally's 
treatment  with  astonishment  and  indignation, 
resolved  not  to  pass  between  the  posts  until  the 
whole  matter  should  be  explained  to  his  satisfac 
tion.  He  therefore  stopped  short,  and,  by  very 
intelligible  looks,  demanded  of  the  whippers 
whether,  if  he  passed  between  them,  he  was  to 
be  treated  as  Miss  Spitfire  had  been  ?  The 
whippers  gave  him  no  satisfaction,  and  his  rider 
signified,  by  reiterated  thumps  of  the  heel,  that 
he  should  go  through  whether  he  would  or  not. 
Of  these,  however,  Gridiron  seemed  to  know 
nothing.  In  the  midst  of  the  conference,  Grid 
iron's  eye  lit  upon  the  oscillating  gander,  and 
every  moment's  survey  of  it  begot  in  him  a  grow 
ing  interest,  as  his  slowly  rising  head,  suppress 
ed  breath,  and  projected  ears  plainly  evinced. 
After  a  short  examination,  he  heaved  a  sigh, 
and  looked  behind  him  to  see  if  the  way  was 
clear.  It  was  plain  that  his  mind  was  now  made 
up  ;  but,  to  satisfy  the  world  that  he  would  do 


THE    GANDER-PULLING  157 

nothing  rashly,  he  took  another  view,  and  then 
wheeled  and  went  for  Harrisburg  as  if  he  had 
set  in  for  a  year's  running.  Nobody  whooped 
at  Gridiron,  for  all  saw  that  his  running  was 
purely  the  result  of  philosophic  deduction.  The 
reader  will  not  suppose  all  this  consumed  half 
the  time  which  has  been  consumed  in  telling  it, 
though  it  might  have  been  so  without  interrupt 
ing  the  amusement ;  for  Miss  Spitfire's  flight 
had  completely  suspended  it  for  a  time. 

The  remaining  competitors  now  went  on  with 
the  sport.  A  few  rounds  showed  plainly  that 
Odum  or  Bostwick  would  be  the  victor  ;  but 
which,  no  one  could  tell.  Whenever  either  of 
them  came  round  the  gander's  neck  was  sure  of 
a  severe  wrench.  Many  a  half-pint  of  Jamaica 
was  staked  upon  them,  besides  other  things. 
The  poor  gander  withstood  many  a  strong  pull 
before  his  wailings  ceased.  At  length,  however, 
they  were  hushed  by  Odum.  Then  came  Bost 
wick,  and  broke  the  neck.  The  next  grasp  of 
Odum,  it  was  thought,  would  bear  away  the 
head  ;  but  it  did  not.  Then  Bostwick  was  sure 
of  it ;  but  he  missed  it.  Now  Odum  must  sure 
ly  have  it.  All  is  interest  and  animation;  the 
horses  sweep  round  with  redoubled  speed  ;  every 
eye  is  upon  Odum,  his  backers  smiling,  Bost- 
wick's  trembling.  To  the  rope  he  comes,  lifts 
his  hand,  when,  lo  !  fat  John  Fulger  had  borne 
it  away  the  second  before.  All  were  astonished, 
all  disappointed,  and  some  were  vexed  a  little  ; 
for  it  was  now  clear  that  "if  it  hadn't  V  been 
for  his  great,  fat,. greasy  paw/'  to  use  their  own 


158  GEORGIA    SCENES 

language,  "(Mum  would  have  gained  the  vic 
tory."  Others  cursed  "that  long-legged  Zube 
Zin,  who  was  so  high  he  didn't  know  when  his 
feet  were  cold,  for  bringing  such  a  nag  as  Sal 
Spitfire  to  a  gander-pullen  ;  for  if  he'd  V  been 
in  his  place  it  would  V  flung  Bostwick  right 
where  that  gourd  o'  hog's  lard  (Fulger)  was." 

Fulger's  conduct  was  little  calculated  to  rec 
oncile  them  to  their  disappointment. 

"Come  here,  Neddy  Prator,"  said  he,  with  a 
triumphant  smile  ;  "  let  your  uncle  Johnny  put 
his  potato-stealer  [hand]  into  that  hat  and  tickle 
the  chins  of  them  are  shiners  a  little  !  Oh, 

you  little  shining  sons  o'  b s  !  walk  into  your 

Mas'  Johnny's  pocket,  and  jingle  so  as  Arch 
Odum  and  Gory  Bostwick  may  hear  you  !  You 
hear  'em,  Gory  ?  Boys,  don't  pull  with  men  any 
more.  I've  jist  got  my  hand  in  ;  I  wish  I  had 
a  pondful  o'  ganders  here  now,  jist  to  show  how 
I  could  make  their  heads  fly.  Bet  all  I've  won, 
you  may  hang  three  upon  that  rope  and  I'll  set 
Slouch  at  full  speed,  and  take-  off  the  heads  of 
all  three  the  first  grab — two  with  my  hands  and 
one  with  my  teeth." 

Thus  he  went  on,  but  really  there  was  no 
boasting  in  all  this,  it  was  all  fun  ;  for  John 
knew,  and  all  were  convinced  that  he  knew,  that 
his  success  was  entirely  the  result  of  accident. 
John  was  really  "a  good-natured  fellow,"  and 
his  cavorting  had  an  effect  directly  opposite  to 
that  which  the  reader  would  suppose  it  had  ;  it 
reconciled  all  to  their  disappointment  save  one. 
I  except  little  Billy  Mixen,  of  Spirit  Creek,  who 


THE    GANDER  PULLING  159 

had  staked  the  net  proceeds  of  six  quarts  of 
huckleberries*  upon  (Mum,  which  he  had  been 
long  keeping  for  a  safe  bet.  He  could  not  be 
reconciled  until  he  fretted  himself  into  a  pretty 
little  piny-woods  fight,  in  which  he  got  whipped, 
and  then  he  went  home  perfectly  satisfied.  Ful- 
ger  spent  all  his  winnings  with  Prator  in  treats 
to  the  company,  made  most  of  them  drunk,  and 
thereby  produced  four  Georgia  rotations ;\  after 
which  all  parted  good  friends. 

*  I  give  them  their  Georgia  name.  I  should  hardly  be 
understood  if  I  called  them  whortleberries. 

\  I  borrowed  this  term  from  Jim  Inman  at  the  time. 
"  Why,  Jim,"  said  I  to  him,  just  as  he  rose  from  a  fight, 
"  what  have  you  been  doing  ?"  "Oh,"  said  he,  "  nothing 
but  taking  a  little  rotation  with  Bob  M'Manus." 

HALL. 


THE  BALL 

BEIXG  on  a  visit  to  the  city  of  -  -  about 
ten  years  ago,  my  old  friend  Jack  De  Bathle 
gave  me  an  invitation  to  a  ball,  of  which  he  was 
one  of  the  managers.  Jack  had  been  the  com 
panion  of  my  childhood,  my  boyhood,  and  my 
early  manhood ;  and  through  many  a  merry 
dance  had  we  hopped,  and  laughed,  and  tumbled 
down  together  in  the  morning  of  life.  Dancing 
was  really,  in  those  days,  a  merry-making  busi 
ness.  Except  the  minuet,  which  was  introduced 
only  to  teach  us  the  graces,  and  the  congo,  which 
was  only  to  chase  away  the  solemnities  of  the 
minuet,  it  was  all  a  jovial,  heart -stirring,  foot- 
stirring  amusement.  We  had  none  of  your 
mathematical  cotillons ;  none  of  your  immodest 
waltzes ;  none  of  your  detestable,  disgusting 
gallopades.  The  waltz  would  have  crimsoned 
the  cheek  of  every  young  lady  who  attended  a 
ball  in  my  day ;  and  had  the  gallopade  been 
commenced  in  the  ballroom,  it  would  have  been 
ended  in  the  street.  I  am  happy  to  say  that  the 
waltz  has  met  with  but  very  little  encourage 
ment  in  Georgia  as  yet ;  the  gallopade  with  none. 
Ye  fair  of  my  native  land  !  ye  daughters  of  a 
modest  race  !  blush  them  away  from  the  soil, 


THE    BALL  161 

which  your  mothers  honored  by  their  example 
and  consecrated  with  their  ashes  !  Born  to 
woman's  loftiest  destinies,  it  ill  becomes  yon  to 
stoop  from  your  high  estate  to  ape  the  indecen 
cies  of  Europe's  slaves.  It  is  yours  to  command, 
not  to  obey.  Let  vice  approach  you  in  what 
form  she  may — as  the  handmaid  of  wit  and  talents, 
the  mistress  of  courts,  or  the  queen  of  fashion — 
fail  not  to  meet  her  with  the  frown  of  indignant 
virtue  and  the  flush  of  offended  modesty.  There 
is  a  majesty  in  these  which  has  ever  command 
ed  her  homage.  There  is  a  loveliness  in  these 
which  will  ever  command  the  admiration  of  the 
world.  The  interest  which  I  feel  in  the  charac 
ter  of  the  fair  daugters  of  America  is  my  apology 
for  this  sober  digression. 

Though  De  Bathle  is  but  two  months  youuger 
than  I  am,  he  still  dances  occasionally;  and  to 
this  circumstance  in  part,  but  more  particularly 
to  the  circumstance  of  his  being  a  married  man, 
is  to  be  ascribed  his  appointment  of  manager — 
the  custom  now  being  to  have  one-third  or  one- 
half  the  managers  married  men.  This  would 
be  a  great  improvement  on  the  management  of 
balls  hi  olden  time  could  the  married  men  only 
manage  to  keep  out  of  the  card-room.  Would 
they  take  the  direction  of  the  amusement  into 
their  hands,  their  junior  colleagues  would  then 
have  an  opportunity  of  sharing  the  pleasures  of 
the  evening,  a  privilege  which  they  seldom  en 
joy  as  things  are  now  conducted.  However, 
married  men  are  not  appointed  with  the  expec 
tation  that  they  will  perform  the  duties  of  the 
11 


162  GEORGIA    SCENES 

office,  but  to  quiet  the  scruples  of  some  half- 
dozen  or  more  "charming  creatures"  who, 
though  they  never  fail  to  attend  a  ball,  will 
not  condescend  to  do  so  until  they  are  perfectly 
satisfied  it  is  to  be  conducted  with  the  utmost 
gravity,  dignity,  decorum,  and  propriety.  For 
these  assurances  they  look  first  to  "the  face  of 
the  paper"  (the  ball-ticket);  and  if  they  do  not 
find  on  it  a  goodly  number  of  responsible  names 
(such  as,  by  reasonable  presumption,  are  Avell 
broke  to  petticoat  government),  they  protest 
against  it,  tell  a  hundred  amiable  little  fibs  to 
conceal  the  cause  of  their  opposition,  torture 
two  or  three  beaux  half  to  death  with  suspense, 
and  finally  conclude  to  go  "just  to  keep  from  giv 
ing  offence.'7  But  if  the  endorsers  be  "potent, 
grave,  and  reverend  seigniors,"  schooled  as  afore 
said,  why,  then,  one  difficulty  is  at  least  removed; 
for  though  it  is  well  known  that  these  are  "en 
dorsers  without  recourse  in  the  first  instance," 
it  is  equally  well  known  that  they  may  be  ulti 
mately  made  liable  ;  for  if  the  juniors  fail  to 
fulfil  their  engagements  a  lady  has  nothing  to 
do  but  to  walk  into  the  card-room,  take  a  senior 
by  the  nape  of  the  neck,  lead  him  into  the  ball 
room,  present  her  ticket  Avith  his  name  upon  it 
in  the  presence  of  the  witnesses  there  assembled, 
and  she  is  sure  of  ample  satisfaction. 

When  De  Bathle  and  I  reached  the  ballroom, 
a  large  number  of  gentlemen  had  already  as 
sembled.  They  all  seemed  cheerful  and  hap 
py.  Some  walked  in  couples  up  and  down  the 
ballroom,  and  talked  with  great  volubility ;  but 


THE    BALL  163 

not  one  of  them  understood  a  word  that  himself 
or  his  companion  said. 

"  Ah,  sir,  how  do  you  know  that  ?" 

Because  the  speakers  showed  plainly  by  their 
looks  and  actions  that  their  thoughts  were  run 
ning  upon  their  own  personal  appearance,  and 
upon  the  figure  they  would  cut  before  the  ladies 
when  they  should  arrive,  and  not  upon  the  sub 
ject  of  the  discourse.  And,  furthermore,  their 
conversation  was  like  that  of  one  talking  in  his 
sleep  ;  without  order,  sense,  or  connection.  The 
hearer  always  made  the  speaker  repeat  in  sen 
tences  and  half -sentences,  often  interrupting 
him  with  "What  ?"  before  he  had  proceeded  three 
words  in  a  remark  ;  and  then  laughed  affected 
ly,  as  though  he  saw  in  the  senseless,  unfinished 
sentence  a  most  excellent  joke.  Then  would 
come  his  reply,  which  could  not  be  forced  into 
connection  with  a  word  that  he  had  heard ;  and 
in  the  course  of  which  he  was  treated  with  pre 
cisely  the  civility  which  he  had  received.  And 
yet  they  kept  up  the  conversation  with  lively  in 
terest  as  long  as  I  listened  to  them. 

Others  employed  themselves  in  commenting 
good-humoredly  upon  each  other's  dresses  and 
figure,  while  some  took  steps — awkwardly. 

In  the  meantime,  the  three  junior  managers 
met  and  agreed  upon  the  parts  which  they  were 
to  perform.  Herein  I  thought  they  were  unfort 
unate.  To  Mr.  Flirt,  a  bustling,  fidgety,  restless 
little  man,  about  five  feet  two  and  a  half  inches 
high,  was  assigned  the  comparatively  easy  task  of 
making  out  and  distributing  the  numbers.  Mr. 


164  GEORGIA    SCENES. 

Crouch,  a  good  -  humored,,  sensible,  but  rather 
unpolished  gentleman,  undertook  to  attend  the 
carriages,  and  to  transport  their  precious  treas 
ures  to  the  ballroom,  where  Mr.  Dupree  was  to 
receive  them,  and  see  to  their  safe-keeping  until 
the  dancing  commenced.  The  parts  of  the  mar 
ried  men,  up  to  the  opening  of  the  ball,  was  set 
tled  by  common  law.  They  were  to  keep  a  sharp 
lookout,  lend  a  helping  hand  in  case  of  emer 
gency,  drink  plenty  of  wine,  see  that  other  gen 
tlemen,  particularly  strangers,  did  the  same,  and, 
finally,  to  give  any  gentleman  who  might  have 
come  to  the  ball  encumbered  with  a  little  loose 
change  an  opportunity  of  relieving  himself. 

Things  were  thus  arranged,  Crouch  standing 
with  a  group  of  gentlemen,  of  which  I  was  one, 
in  the  entry  leading  to  the  ballroom,  when  Mr. 
Flirt  broke  upon  us,  as  if  the  whole  town  were  on 
fire,  and  all  the  *******  had  risen,  with  "  Good 
God,  Crouch  !  there's  Mrs.  Mushy's  carriage  at 
the  door,  full  of  ladies,  and  not  a  manager  there 
to  receive  them  !  Fll  swear  it  is  too  bad  !" 

"Horrible  !"  said  Crouch  ;  and  away  he  went. 

But  Mrs.  Mushy,  with  Miss  Feedle  and  Miss 
Deedle,  had  reached  the  foot  of  the  stairs  un 
attended  before  Crouch,  or  even  Flirt,  who  was 
considerable  in  advance  of  him,  met  them.  Mrs. 
Mushy,  who  was  a  lady  of  very  full  habit,  looked 
hufrishly  as  Flirt  took  her  hand,  and  Miss  Feedle 
and  Miss  Deedle  blushed  sarcastically.  Flirt  made 
a  hundred  apologies,  and  Crouch  looked  first  at 
Mrs.  Mushy,  then  at  Flirt,  and  tittered.  "  What 
a  lovely  figure  Mrs.  Mushy  is  !"  said  he,  as  he 


THE    BALL  165 

turned  off  from  delivering  his  charge  to  Du- 
pree. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Crouch/''  said  Flirt,  "  if  you  begin 
making  your  fun  of  the  ladies  already,  we'd  bet 
ter  break  up  the  ball  at  once.  By  Heaven,  it's 
a  shame  !" 

"  Upon  my  honor,  Mr.  Flirt,"  said  Crouch,  "  I 
think  she's  beautiful.  I  always  liked  a  light  and 
airy  figure,  particularly  for  a  ballroom." 

By  this  time  Dupree  had  joined  us.  Flirt  left 
us,  obviously  in  a  pet ;  but  we  hardly  missed  him 
before  back  he  rushed  from  the  ballroom,  ex 
claiming,  "  Why,  gracious  heavens,  Dupree  ! 
there  are  those  three  ladies  sitting  in  the  ball 
room  and  not  a  gentleman  in  the  room  to  enter 
tain  them  !  Do  go  and  introduce  some  of  the 
gentlemen  to  them,  if  you  please." 

"  Flugens  !"  said  Dupree,  "what  an  over 
sight  !"  and  off  he  went  for  entertainers.  After 
several  ineffectual  attempts  he  at  length  pre 
vailed  on  Mr.  Noozle  and  Mr.  Boozle  to  be  made 
acquainted  with  the  ladies. 

Mr.  N.  seated  himself  to  the  right  of  Miss  F., 
and  Mr.  B.  to  the  left  of  Miss  D.;  Mrs.  M.  oc 
cupying  a  seat  between  the  girls,  and  looking, 
for  all  the  world,  as  if  she  thought,  "Well,  this 
is  the  last  ball  I'll  ever  attend,  unless  it's  a  little 
better  managed."  But  the  young  ladies  looked 
like  a  May  morning  as  soon  as  the  gentlemen 
approached.  After  a  pause  of  two  minutes  : 

"  It's  a  very  pleasant  evening,"  said  Mr.  Noozle 
to  Miss  Feedle. 

"  Delightful,"  said  Miss  Feedle  to  Mr.  Noozle. 


166  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"It's  a  delightful  evening,"  said  Miss  Deedle 
to  Mr.  Boozle. 

"  Very  pleasant/'  said  Mr.  Boozle  to  Miss 
Deedle. 

"  I  thought  there  were  some  married  managers 
of  the  ball,"  said  Mrs.  Mushy,  emphatically. 
Here  ensued  a  long  pause. 

"  Are  you  fond  of  dancing  ?"  said  Mr.  Noozle. 

"Ah  !  what's  that  you  say,  Noozle,"  said 
Boozle — "  you  are  not  fond  of  dancing  ?  Come, 
come,  that'll  never  do.  You  tip  the  pigeon-wing 
too  well  for  that." 

"You  quite  misapprehend  me,  sir,"  returned 
Mr.  Noozle.  "  Mine  was  not  a  declaration  touch 
ing  in  the  remotest  degree  my  personal  predilec 
tions  or  antipathies,  but  a  simple  interrogatory  to 
Miss  Feedle.  No,  sir ;  though  I  cannot  lay  claim 
to  the  proficiency  of  Noverre  in  the  saltant  art, 
I  am,  nevertheless,  extravagantly  fond  of  danc 
ing  ;  too  much  so,  I  fear,  for  one  who  has  but  just 
commenced  the  viginti  lucubrationes  annorum,  as 
that  inimitable  and  fascinating  expositor  of  the 
elements  of  British  jurisprudence,  Sir  William 
Blackstone,  observes.  To  reach  these  high  at 
tainments  in  forensic — 

Here  the  young  gentlemen  were  forced  to  re 
sign  their  seats  to  a  number  of  ladies  who  now 
entered  the  ballroom. 

"  What  an  intelligent  young  gentleman  !"  said 
Miss  Feedle.  "  I  declare  I  must  set  my  cap  for 
him." 

"I  think  the  other  much  the  most  interesting 
of  the  two,"  said  Miss  Deedle.  "  He's  too  affect- 


THE    BALL  167 

ed,  and  too  fond  of  showing  off  his  learning. 
What  did  he  call  that  'inimitable  expositor"? 
Jinny  Cmshionis." 

The  seats  were  soon  filled  with  ladies  ;  almost 
all  of  whom  (except  Mrs.  Mushy)  entered  the 
room  in  the  same  style,  which  seemed  to  have 
been  strictly  copied  from  the  movement  of  the 
killdee.  They  took  their  seats  with  precisely  the 
motion  with  which  the  schoolgirls  in  my  younger 
days  used  to  make  "  cheeses,"  as  they  called  them, 
with  their  frocks. 

The  musicians  were  all  blacks,  but  neatly 
dressed.  The  band  consisted  of  three  perform 
ers  on  the  violin,  one  on  the  clarinet,  one  on  the 
tambourine,  and  one  on  the  triangle. 

The  ladies  ceased  coming,  and  nothing  seemed 
now  wanting  to  begin  the  amusement  but  the 
distribution  of  the  numbers  ;  but  Mr.  Flirt  was 
running  up  and  down  stairs  every  minute  after 
—no  one  knew  what  ;  and  with  great  anxiety- 
no  one  knew  why.  He  would  enter  the  room, 
look  the  ladies  all  over,  then  down  he  would  go ; 
then  return  and  go  through  the  same  evolutions. 
The  band  struck  up  a  spirit -stirring  tune,  in 
which  the  tambourine-player  distinguished  him 
self.  For  dignified  complacency  of  countenance, 
under  his  own  music,  he  rivalled  Mr.  Jenkins; 
and  he  performed  the  rattlesnake  note  with  his 
middle  finger  in  a  style  which  threw  Miss  Crump 
entirely  in  the  shade.  The  band  ceased,  and 
the  inquiry  became  general,  "Why  doesn't  the 
drawing  begin  ?"  but  Mr.  Flirt  still  kept  up  his 
anxious  movements. 


168  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"In  the  name  of  sense,  Flirt,,"  said  Crouch, 
impatiently,  as  the  little  man  was  taking  a  third 
survey  of  the  ladies,  "  what  are  you  bobbing  up 
and  down  stairs  for  ?  Why  don't  you  distribute 
the  tickets  ?" 

"Oh/7  said  Flirt,  "it's  early  yet.  Let's  wait 
for  Miss  Gilt  and  Miss  Rino.  I  know  they're 
coming,  for  Mr.  Posy  and  Mr.  Tulip  told  me  they 
saw  them  dressed,  and  their  carriages  at  the  door, 
an  hour  ago." 

"Blast  Miss  Gilt  and  Miss  Rino!"  returned 
Crouch.  "Is  the  whole  company  to  be  kept 
waiting  for  them  ?  Now,  sir,  if  the  tickets  are 
not  handed  round  in  three  minutes  I'll  announce 
to  the  company  that  Mr.  Flirt  will  permit  no 
dancing  until  Miss  Gilt  and  Miss  Rino  shall  think 
proper  to  honor  us  with  their  presence." 

"Oh,  zounds!"  said  Flirt,  "I'm  not  waiting 
for  them.  I  thought  it  was  too  early  to  begin 
the  drawing.  It's  quite  unfashionable  in  New 
York  to  commence  drawing  before  nine  o'clock." 
(Miss  R.'s  father  was  computed  at  a  cool  hundred 
and  fifty,  and  Miss  G.'s  at  a  round  hundred 
thousand.) 

In  a  few  minutes  the  tickets  were  distributed, 
and  Mr.  Flirt  proceeded  to  call,  "No.  1 — First 
Cotillon,"  with  most  imposing  majesty.  Then 
numbers  2,  3,  and  4  of  the  same  ;  then  No.  1  of 
the  second,  and  so  on. 

Five  sets  of  cotillons  could  occupy  the  floor  at 
a  time,  and  Flirt  had  just  called  No.  2  of  the 
fifth,  when  Miss  Rino  entered  the  room,  and  im 
mediately  afterwards  Miss  Gilt.  Flirt  had  put 


THE    BALL  169 

two  supernumerary  tickets  in  the  hat,  in  antici 
pation  of  their  coming  ;  and,  forgetting  every 
thing  else,  he  suspended  the  calling,  and  rushed 
to  deliver  them  as  soon  as  the  ladies  made  their 
appearance. 

lie  went  to  Miss  Rino  first — as  she  entered  first 
— but  she  was  obviously  piqued  at  seeing  the  sets 
on  the  floor  before  her  arrival.  She  refused  to 
take  a  number,  declaring  (very  sweetly)  that  she 
left  home  with  no  idea  of  dancing.  Flirt  insist 
ed,  earnestly  and  prettily,  upon  her  taking  a 
number  ;  but  she  hesitated,  looked  in  the  hat, 
then  looked  at  Flirt  bewitchingly,  and  declared 
she  did  not  wish  to  dance. 

In  the  meantime  Miss  Gilt  began  to  feel  her 
self  slighted,  and  she  said,  in  a  pretty,  audible 
tone,  "As  for  her  part,  she  would  like  very  well 
to  draw  a  number  if  she  could  be  permitted  to 
do  so."  Several  gentlemen  who  had  gathered 
around  her  hastened  to  Flirt  to  remind  him  of 
the  indignity  which  he  was  offering  to  Miss  Gilt ; 
but  before  they  reached  him  Miss  Rino  drew  No. 
3  of  the  fifth  cotillon  from  the  hat. 

Unfortunately,  Crouch's  patience  had  worn  out 
just  before  Miss  R.  made  up  her  mind  to  take 
a  ticket,  and  he  took  the  office  which  Flirt  had 
abdicated.  He  called  No.  3  twice,  but  the  call 
was  not  responded  to.  He  then  called  No.  4, 
when  Miss  Jones  appeared  and  took  her  place. 
He  next  called  No.  1  of  the  sixth  set,  when  a  lady 
appeared,  which  completed  the  cotillon.  The 
last  lady  had  but  just  taken  her  place  when  Miss 
Rino,  led  on  by  Mr.  Noozle,  advanced,  and  an- 


170  GEORGIA    SCENES 

nounced  that  hers  was  No.  3  of  the  fifth  set. 
Miss  Jones  was  instinctively  retiring  from  die 
august  presence  of  Miss  Kino  when  she  was  stop 
ped  by  Crouch  with  "  Keep  your  place,  Miss 
Jones  ;  I  think  you  are  entitled  to  it/' 

"  Isn't  this  No.  3  of  the  fifth  cotillon  ?"  said 
Miss  Rino,  holding  out  her  ticket  to  Mr.  Crouch. 

((  Yes,  miss/'  said  Crouch,  "but  I  think  it  has 
forfeited  its  place.  Indeed,  I  do  not  think  it  was 
even  drawn  when  Miss  Jones  took  her  place.'' 

This  drew  from  Miss  Rino  the  expression  of 
countenance  which  immediately  precedes  a 
sneeze. 

"Upon  every  principle  of  equity  and  justice," 
said  Mr.  Boozle,  "  Miss  Rino  is  entitled  to — 

"  Music  !"  said  Crouch. 

"Hands  round!"  said  the  fiddler;  and  the 
whole  band  struck  into  something  like  "The 
Dead  March." 

"  This  matter  shall  not  end  here,"  said  Noozle, 
as  he  led  Miss  Rino  back  to  her  seat. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Noozle," returned  Miss  Rino,  "don't 
think  anything  of  it  !  I  declare  I  had  not  the 
least  wish  in  the  world  to  dance.  Surely  you 
would  not  object  to  anything  the  polite  and  ac 
complished  Mr.  Crouch  would  do  !" 

Noozle  walked  the  floor  in  portentous  abstrac 
tion,  wiped  his  face  with  terrific  emphasis,  and 
knocked  his  hair  back  with  the  slap  belligerent. 

The  ladies  who  were  not  dancing  became 
alarmed  and  sedate  (Miss  Gilt  excepted);  the' 
gentlemen  collected  in  groups,  and  carried  on  an 
animated  conversation.  As  all  but  myself  who 


THE    BALL  171 

could  give  a  correct  version  of  the  affair  were 
engaged  in  the  dance,  the  Noozle  party  had 
gained  over  to  their  side  most  of  the  company 
present  before  the  dance  ended.  After  various 
inquiries,,  rumors,  and  corrections,  the  company 
generally  settled  down  upon  the  following  state 
ment,  as  confirmed  by  the  joint  testimony  of 
Kino,  Flirt,  and  Noozle  : 

"'Crouch  had  an  old  spite  against  Miss  Rino 
for  nothing  at  all  ;  began  cursing  and  abusing 
her  because  she  was  not  the  first  lady  in  the 
room  ;  refused  to  wait  two  minutes  for  her  ar 
rival  ;  as  soon  as  he  saw  her  enter  the  ballroom, 
usurped  Mr.  Flirt's  appointment,  and  com 
menced  calling  the  numbers  on  purpose  to  cut 
her  out.  She,  seeing  his  object,  snatched  up  a 
number  and  rushed  to  her  place  ;  but  it  was  oc 
cupied  by  Miss  Jones,  who,  seeing  the  superior 
ity  of  her  claims,  offered  to  give  way,  and  was 
actually  retiring  when  Crouch  seized  her  by  the 
arm,  jerked  her  back,  and  said,  '  Keep  your  place, 
miss  !  You're  entitled  to  it,  if  Miss  Rino  lias  got 
the  number  ;  and  you  shall  have  it/  And  when 
Mr.  Noozle  was  pleading  with  him  just  to  look  at 
Miss  Kino's  ticket,  he  just  turned  upon  his  heel 
and  called  for  the  music.''  This  was  all  reported 
to  Crouch,  as  confirmed  by  the  trio  before  men 
tioned.  He  pronounced  it  all  an  infamous  lie, 
from  beginning  to  end,  and  was  with  difficulty  re 
strained  from  going  immediately  after  Flirt,  to 
pick  him  up,  as  he  said,  and  wear  him  out  upon 
Noozle. 

As  soon  as  the  first  cotillon  ended,  the  Crouch 


172  GEORGIA   SCENES 

party  began  to  gain  ground  ;  but  not  without 
warm  words  between  several  gentlemen,  and  a 
general  depression  of  spirits  through  the  com 
pany. 

The  dancing  of  the  ladies  was,  with  few  excep 
tions,  much  after  the  same  fashion.  I  found  not 
the  least  difficulty  in  resolving  it  into  the  three 
motions  of  a  turkey-cock  strutting,  a  sparrow- 
hawk  lighting,  and  a  duck  walking.  Let  the 
reader  suppose  a  lady  beginning  a  strut  at  her 
own  place,  and  ending  it  (precisely  as  does  the 
turkey-cock)  three  feet  nearer  the  gentleman  op 
posite  her  ;  then  giving  three  sparrow-hawk  bobs, 
and  then  waddling  back  to  her  place  like  a  duck, 
and  he  will  have  a  pretty  correct  idea  of  their 
dancing.  Not  that  the  three  movements  were 
blended  at  every  turn  of  the  dance,  but  that  one 
or  more  of  the  three  answered  to  every  turn. 
The  strut  prevailed  most  in  balancing  ;  the  bobs, 
when  balanced  to  ;  and  the  waddle,  when  going 
round.  To  all  this  Mrs.  Mushy  was  an  excep 
tion.  When  she  danced,  every  particle  of  her 
danced,  in  spite  of  herself. 

There  was  as  little  variety  in  the  gentlemen's 
dancing  as  there  was  in  the  ladies'.  Any  one 
who  has  seen  a  gentleman  clean  mud  off  his 
shoes  on  a  door-mat  has  seen  nearly  all  of  it  ; 
the  principal  difference  being,  that  some  scraped 
with  a  pull  of  the  foot,  some  with  a  push,  and 
some  with  both. 

"I  suppose,"  said  I  to  a  gentleman,  "they 
take  no  steps  because  the  music  will  not  admit 
of  them  ?" 


THE    BALL  173 

"'Oh  no,"  said  he;  "it's  quite  ungenteel  jto 
take  steps."  I  thought  of  the  wag's  remarks 
about  Miss  Crump's  music  :  "  If  this  be  their 
dancing,"  thought  I,  "  what  must  their  mourn 
ing  be  ?" 

A  splendid  supper  was  prepared  at  twelve 
o'clock,  and  the  young  ladies  ate  almonds,  rai 
sins,  apples,  oranges,  jelly,  sillabub,  custard,  can 
dy,  sugar-plums,  kisses,  and  cake,  as  if  they  had 
been  owing  them  an  old  grudge.  But  the  mar 
ried  gentlemen  did  not  come  up  to  supper. 

"  And  how  did  the  quarrel  end  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  had  like  to  have  forgotten  the  denoue 
ment  of  the  quarrel !" 

A  correspondence  opened  the  next  morning 
between  the  parties,  in  which  Noozle  was  diffuse 
and  Crouch  laconic.  They  once  came  this  near 
an  amicable  adjustment  of  the  difference.  Noo- 
zle's  second  (for  the  fashion  is  for  the  principals 
to  get  into  quarrels  and  for  the  seconds  to  get 
them  out)  agreed  if  Crouch  would  strike  the 
word  "it"  out  of  one  of  his  letters,  his  friend 
would  be  perfectly  satisfied. 

Mr.  Crouch's  second  admitted  that  the  re 
moval  of  the  word  would  not  change  the  sense 
of  the  letter  the  least,  but  that  Mr.  Crouch,  hav 
ing  put  his  life  and  character  in  his  hands,  he 
felt  bound  to  protect  them  with  the  most  scru 
pulous  fidelity ;  he  could  not,  therefore,  consent  to 
expunge  the  objectionable  word  unless  the  chal 
lenge  were  withdrawn.  To  show,  however,  his  re 
luctance  to  the  shedding  of  blood,  and  to  acquit 
his  friend,  in  the  eyes  of  the  public,  of  all  blame, 


174  GEORGIA    SCENES 

he  would  take  it  upon  himself  to  say  that  if 
Mr.  Noozle  would  withdraw  his  objections  to 
the  "  t,"  Mr.  Crouch  should  expunge  the  "  i." 
This  proposition  was  rejected  ;  but,  in  return, 
it  was  submitted  that  if  Mr.  Crouch  would  ex 
punge  the  "  t,"  the  "i"  might  remain.  To 
which  it  was  replied  that  the  alteration  would 
convert  the  whole  sentence  into  nonsense  ;  mak 
ing  it  read  "  i  is,"  instead  of  "  it  is"  etc.  Here 
the  seconds  separated,  and  soon  after  the  princi 
pals  met ;  and  Crouch  shot  Noozle,  in  due  form 
and  according  to  the  latest  fashion,  through  the 
knees.  I  went  to  see  him  after  he  had  received 
his  wound,  and,  poor  fellow,  he  suffered  dread 
ful  tortures.  So  much,  said  I,  for  a  young  lady's 
lingering  from  a  ball  an  hour  too  long,  in  order 
to  make  herself  conspicuous. 

BALDWIN. 


THE  MOTHER  AND  HER  CHILD 

WHENCE  comes  the  gibberish  which  is  almost 
invariably  used  by  mothers  and  nurses  to  infants? 
Take,  for  example,  the  following,  which  will  an 
swer  the  twofold  purpose  of  illustrating  my  idea 
and  of  exhibiting  one  of  the  peculiarities  of  the 
age. 

A  few  days  ago  I  called  to  spend  an  hour  in 
the  afternoon  with  Mr.  Slang,  whose  wife  is  the 
mother  of  a  child  about  eight  months  old. 

While  I  was  there,  the  child  in  the  nurse's 
arms,  in  an  adjoining  room,,  began  to  cry. 

"You,  Rose,"  said  Mrs.  Slang,  "quiet  that 
child  !"  Rose  walked  with  it  and  sang  to  it, 
but  it  did  not  hush. 

"You,  Rose,  if  you  do  not  quiet  that  child,  I 
lay  I  make  you  !" 

"I  is  tried,  ma'am/'  said  Rose,  "an'  he 
wouldn't  get  hushed."  (Child  cries  louder.) 

"  Fetch  him  to  me,  you  good-for-nothing  hus 
sy  you  !  What's  the  matter  with  him  ?"  reaching 
out  her  arms  to  receive  him. 

"I  dun  know,  ma'am." 

"Xhei — nhun — nho — nha'am  !"  (mocking  and 
(jrinniny  at  Rose). 

As  Rose  delivered  the  child,  she  gave  visible 


176  GEORGIA    SCENES 

signs  of  dodging  just  as  the  child  left  her  arms  ; 
and,  that  she  might  not  be  disappointed,  Mrs. 
Slang  gave  her  a  box,  in  which  there  seemed  to- 
be  no  anger  mixed  at  all,  and  which  Eose  re 
ceived  as  a  matter  of  course,  without  even  chang 
ing  countenance  under  it. 

"Da  den  !"  said  Mrs.  Slang;  "come  elong  e 
muddy  [mother].  Did  nassy  Yosey  [Rose]  pague 
muddy  thweety  chilluns  ?"  [children] — pressing 
the  child  to  her  bosom,  and  rocking  it  backward 
and  forward  tenderly.  "Muddins  will  whippy 
ole  nassy  Yosey.  Ah  !  you  old  uggy  Yosey  !" 
(knocking  at  Rose  playfully}.  "Da  den,  muddy 
did  whippy  bad  Yosey."  (Child  continues  cry 
ing.} 

"  Why,  what  upon  earth  ails  the  child  ?  Rose, 
you've  hurt  this  child  somehow  or  other  !" 

"No,  ma'am,  'cla'  I  didn't ;  I  was  just  sitt'n 
down  dar  in  the  rock'n'-chair  "long  side  o'  Miss 
Nancy's  bureau,  an'  waVt  doin'  noth'n'  't  all  to 
him,  jis  playin'  wid  him,  and  he  jis  begin  to  cry 
heself,  when  nobody  wa'n't  doin7  nothin'  't  all  to 
him,  and  nobody  waVt  in  dar  nuther  'cept  jist  me 
and  him,  and  I  was — 

"  Nhing — nhing — nhing — and  I  expect  you  hit 
his  head  against  the  bureau." 

"Let  muddy  see  where  ole  bad  Yosey  knocky 
heady  'gin  de  bureaus.  Muddy  will  see,"  taking 
off  the  child's  cap,  and  finding  nothing.  ( Child 
cries  on.) 

"  Muddy's  baby  was  hongry.  Dat  was  what 
ails  muddy's  darling,  thweety  ones.  Was  cho 
hongry,  an'  nobody  would  givy  litty  darling  any 


THE    MOTHER  AND  HER    CHILD  177 

sings  't  all  for  eaty  ?"  (loosing  her  frock  bosom). 
"No,  nobody  would  gim  thweety  ones  any  sings 
fo'  eat 't  all."  (Offers  the  breast  to  the  child,  who 
rejects  it,  rolls  over,  kicks,  and  screams  'worse  than 
ever. ) 

"Hush  !  you  little  brat !  I  believe  it's  nothing 
in  the  world  but  crossness.  Hush  !"  (shaking  it), 
"  hush,  I  tell  you  !"  (Child  cries  to  the  KE  PLUS 

ULTRA.) 

<(  Why,  surely  a  pin  must  stick  the  child.  Yes, 
was  e  bad  pin  did  ticky  chilluns.  Let  muddy  see 
where  de  uggy  pin  did  ticky  dear  prettous  creter" 
(examining).  "Why  no,  it  isn't  a  pin  !  What 
can  be  the  matter  with  the  child  ?  It  must  have 
the  colic,  surely.  Rose,  go  bring  me  the  pare 
goric  off  the  mantelpiece.  Yes,  muddy's  baby 
did  hab  e  tolic.  Dat  was  what  did  ail  muddy's 
prettous  darly  baby"  (pressing  it  to  her  bosom, 
and  rocking  it;  child  cries  on). 

Rose  brought  the  paregoric,  handed  it,  dodged, 
and  got  her  expectations  realized  as  before. 

"  Now  go  bring  me  the  sugar,  and  some  water." 

Rose  brought  them,  and  delivered  both  without 
the  customary  reward ;  for  at  that  instant  the 
child,  being  laid  perfectly  still  on  the  lap,  hushed. 

The  paregoric  was  administered,  and  the  child 
received  it  with  only  a  whimper  now  and  then. 
As  soon  as  it  received  the  medicine,  the  mother 
raised  it  up  and  it  began  to  cry. 

"Why,  Lord  help  my  soul,  what's  the  matter 
with  the  child  ?  What  have  you  done  to  him, 
you  little  hussy  ?"  (rising  and  ivalking  towards 
Rose). 

12 


178  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"'Chi',  missis,  I  ein't  done  noth'n'  't  all ;  was 
jis  sittin'  down  da  by  Miss  Nancy's  bu— 

"You  lie,  you  slut"  (hitting  her  a  passing 
slap),  "I  know  you've  hurt  him!  Hush,  my 
baby"  (singing  the  Coquet],  "don't  you  cry,  your 
sweetheart  will  come  by'm'by ;  da  de  dum  dum 
dum  day,  da  de  dum  diddle  dum  dum  day." 
(Child  cries  on.) 

"  Lord  help  my  soul  and  body,  what  can  be  the 
matter  with  my  baby  ?"  (tears  coming  in  hen  own 
eyes).  "  Something's  the  matter  with  it,  I  know 
it  is"  (laying  the  child  on  her  lap,  and  feeling  its 
arms,  to  see  whether  it  flinched  at  the  touch  of  any 
particular  part).  But  the  child  cried  less  while 
she  was  feeling  it  than  before. 

"Yes,  dat  was  it;  wanted  litty  arms  yubb'd. 
Mud  vill  yub  its  sweet  little  arms."  (Child  be 
gins  again. ) 

"  What  upon  earth  can  make  my  baby  cry  so  !" 
rising  and  walking  to  the  window,  (titops  at  the 
window,  and  the  child  hushes.) 

"  Yes,  dat  was  it  :  did  want  to  look  out  'e  win- 
dys.  See  the  petty  chickens.  O-o-o-h  !  look  at 
the  beauty,  rooster  !  !  Yonder's  old  Aunt  Betty  ! 
See  old  Aunt  Betty,  pickin'  up  chips.  Yes,  ole 
Aunt  Betty,  pickin'  up  chip  fo'  bake  bicky  [bis 
cuit]  IV  good  chilluns.  Good  Aunt  Betty  fo' 
make  bicky  fo'  sweet  baby's  supper."  (Child 
begins  again.) 

"Hoo-o-o!  see  de  windy  I"  (knocking  on  the 
w indow.  Ch  ild  screams. ) 

"You,  Rose,  what  have  you  done  to  this  child  ? 
You  little  hussy  you,  if  you  don't  tell  me  how 


THE    MOTHER    AND    HER    CHILD  179 

you  hurt  him  I'll  whip  you  as  long  as  I  can  find 
you/' 

"  Missis,  I  'cla'  I  never  done  noth'n'  't  all  to 
him.  I  was  jis  sett'n'  down  da  by  Miss  Nancy's 
bu— " 

"If  you  say  '  Miss  Nancy's  bureau '  to  me  again 
Fll  stuff  Miss  Nancy's  bureau  down  your  throat, 
you  little  lying  slut !  I'm  just  as  sure  you've 
hurt  him  as  if  I'd  seen  you.  How  did  you  hurt 
him  ?" 

Here  Rose  was  reduced  to  a  non  plus;  for, 
upon  the  peril  of  having  a  bureau  stuffed  down 
her  throat,  she  dare  not  repeat  the  oft-told  tale, 
and  she  knew  no  other.  She  therefore  stood 
mute. 

"Julia,"  said  Mr.  Slang,  "bring  the  child  to 
me,  and  let  me  see  if  I  can  discover  the  cause  of 
his  crying." 

Mr.  Slang  took  the  child,  and  commenced  a 
careful  examination  of  it.  He  removed  its  cap, 
and  beginning  at  the  crown  of  its  head,  he  ex 
tended  the  search  slowly  and  cautiously  down 
ward,  accompanying  the  eye  with  the  touch  of 
the  finger.  He  had  not  proceeded  far  in  this 
way  before  he  discovered  in  the  right  ear  of  the 
child  a  small  feather,  the  cause,  of  course,  of  all 
its  wailing.  The  cause  removed,  the  child  soon 
changed  its  tears  to  smiles,  greatly  to  the  delight 
of  all,  and  to  none  more  than  to  Rose. 

BALDWIX. 


THE  DEBATING  SOCIETY 

THE  following  is  not  strictly  a  "  Georgia 
Scene"  ;  but  as  Georgians  were  the  chief  actors 
in  it,  it  may  perhaps  be  introduced  with  propri 
ety  in  these  sketches. 

About  three-and-twenty  years  ago,  at  the  cele 
brated  school  in  "W n,  was  formed  a  Debat 
ing  Society,  composed  of  young  gentlemen  be 
tween  the  ages  of  seventeen  and  twenty-two.  Of 
the  number  were  two,  who,  rather  from  uncom 
mon  volubility  than  from  any  superior  gifts  or 
acquirements  which  they  possessed  over  their 
associates,  were,  by  common  consent,  placed  at 
the  head  of  the  fraternity  —  at  least,  this  was 
true  of  one  of  them ;  the  other  certainly  had 
higher  claims  to  his  distinction.  He  was  a  man 
of  the  highest  order  of  intellect,  who,  though  he 
has  since  been  known  throughout  the  Union  as 
one  of  the  ablest  speakers  in  the  country,  seems 
to  me  to  have  added  but  little  to  his  powers  in 
debate  since  he  passed  his  twenty-second  year. 
The  name  of  the  first  was  Long  worth,  and 
M'Dermot  was  the  name  of  the  last.  They  were 
congenial  spirits,  warm  friends,  and  classmates 
at  the  time  of  which  I  am  speaking. 

It  was  a  rule  of  the  society  that  every  mem- 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  181 

ber  should  speak  upon  the  subjects  chosen  for 
discussion  or  pay  a  fine  ;  and  as  all  the  mem 
bers  valued  the  little  stock  of  change  with  which 
they  were  furnished  more  than  they  did  their 
reputation  for  oratory,  not  a  fine  had  been  im 
posed  for  a  breach  of  this  rule  from  the  organi 
zation  of  the  society  to  this  time. 

The  subjects  for  discussion  were  proposed  by 
the  members  and  selected  by  the  president, 
whose  prerogative  it  was  also  to  arrange  the 
speakers  on  either  side  at  his  pleasure ;  though, 
in  selecting  the  subjects,  he  was  influenced  not 
a  little  by  the  members,  who  gave  their  opinions 
freely  of  those  which  were  offered. 

It  was  just  as  the  time  was  approaching  when 
most  of  the  members  were  to  leave  the  society — 
some  for  college,  and  some  for  the  busy  scenes 
of  life — that  M'Dermot  went  to  share  his  class 
mate's  bed  for  a  night.  In  the  course  of  the 
evening's  conversation,  the  society  came  upon 
the  tapis.  "  Mac,"  said  Longworth,  "wouldn't 
we  have  rare  sport  if  we  could  impose  a  subject 
upon  the  society  which  has  no  sense  in  it,  and 
hear  the  members  speak  upon  it  ?" 

"Zounds  !"  said  M'Dermot,  "it  would  be  the 
finest  fun  in  the  world.  Let's  try  it,  at  all 
events  ;  we  can  lose  nothing  by  the  experiment." 

A  sheet  of  foolscap  was  immediately  divided  be 
tween  them,  and  they  industriously  commenced 
the  difficult  task  of  framing  sentences  which 
should  possess  the  form  of  a  debatable  question 
without  a  particle  of  the  substance.  After  an 
hour's  toil  they  at  length  exhibited  the  fruits  of 


182  GEORGIA    SCENES 

their  labor,  and,  after  some  reflection  and  much 
laughing,  they  selected  from  about  thirty  sub 
jects  proposed  the  following  as  most  likely  to  be 
received  by  the  society  : 

"WHETHER,  AT  PUBLIC  ELECTIONS,  SHOULD 
THE  VOTES  OF  FACTION  PREDOMINATE  BY  INTER 
NAL  SUGGESTIONS  OR  THE  BIAS  bF  JURISPRU 
DENCE  ?" 

Longworth  was  to  propose  it  to  the  society, 
and  M'Dermot  was  to  advocate  its  adoption.  As 
they  had  every  reason  to  suppose,  from  the  prac 
tice  of  the  past,  that  they  would  be  placed  at  the 
head  of  the  list  of  disputants,  and  on  opposite 
sides,  it  was  agreed  between  them,  in  case  the  ex 
periment  should  succeed,  that  they  would  write 
off  and  interchange  their  speeches,  in  order  that 
each  might  quote  literally  from  the  other,  and 
thus  seem,  at  least,  to  understand  each  other. 

The  day  at  length  came  for  the  triumph  or 
defeat  of  the  project ;  and  several  accidental  cir 
cumstances  conspired  to  crown  it  with  success. 
The  society  had  entirely  exhausted  their  subjects ; 
the  discussion  of  the  day  had  been  protracted  to 
an  unusual  length,  and  the  horns  of  the  several 
boarding-houses  began  to  sound  just  as  it  ended. 
It  was  at  this  auspicious  moment  that  Longworth 
rose  and  proposed  his  subject.  It  was  caught  at 
with  rapture  by  M'Dermot,  as  being  decidedly 
the  best  that  had  ever  been  submitted,  and  he 
wondered  that  none  of  the  members  had  never 
thought  of  it  before. 

It  was  no  sooner  proposed  than  several  mem 
bers  exclaimed  that  they  did  not  understand  it ; 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  183 

and  demanded  an  explanation  from  the  mover. 
Longworth  replied  that  there  was  no  time  then 
for  explanations,  but  that  either  himself  or  Mr. 
M'Dermot  would  explain  it  at  any  other  time. 

Upon  the  credit  of  the  maker  and  endorser,  the 
subject  was  accepted;  and,  under  pretence  of 
economizing  time  (but  really  to  avoid  a  repetition 
of  the  question),  Longworth  kindly  offered  to 
record  it  for  the  secretary.  This  labor  ended,  he 
announced  that  he  was  prepared  for  the  arrange 
ment  of  the  disputants. 

"Put  yourself,"  said  the  president,  "on  the 
affirmative,  and  Mr.  M'Dermot  on  the  negative." 

"  The  subject,"  said  Longworth,  "  cannot  well 
be  resolved  into  an  affirmative  and  negative.  It 
consists,  more  properly,  of  two  conflicting  affirm 
atives  ;  I  have  therefore  drawn  out  the  heads 
under  which  the  speakers  are  to  be  arranged 
thus : 

"  Internal  Suggestions.    Bias  of  Jurisprudence." 

"  Then  put  yourself  Internal  Suggestions,  Mr. 
M'Dermot  the  other  side;  Mr.  Craig  on  your 
side,  Mr.  Pentigall  the  other  side/'  and  so  on. 

M'Dermot  and  Longworth  now  determined 
that  they  would  not  be  seen  by  any  other  member 
of  the  society  during  the  succeeding  week,  except 
at  times  when  explanations  could  not  be  asked, 
or  when  they  were  too  busy  to  give  them.  Con 
sequently,  the  week  passed  away  without  any  ex 
planations  ;  and  the  members  were  summoned  to 
dispose  of  the  important  subject  with  no  other 


184  GEORGIA    SCENES 

lights  upon  it  than  those  which  they  could  collect 
from  its  terms.  When  they  assembled,  there  was 
manifest  alarm  on  the  countenances  of  all  but 
two  of  them. 

The  society  was  opened  in  due  form,  and  Mr. 
Longworth  was  called  on  to  open  the  debate,  lie 
rose,  and  proceeded  as  follows  : 

"Mr.  President, — The  subject  selected  for  this 
day's  discussion  is  one  of  vast  importance,  per 
vading  the  profound  depths  of  psychology,  and 
embracing  within  its  comprehensive  range  all 
that  is  interesting  in  morals,  government,  law, 
and  politics.  But,  sir,  I  shall  not  follow  it 
through  all  its  interesting  and  diversified  ramifi 
cations,  but  endeavor  to  deduce  from  it  those 
great  and  fundamental  principles  which  have 
direct  bearing  upon  the  antagonist  positions  of 
the  disputants  ;  confining  myself  more  immedi 
ately  to  its  pyschological  influence,  when  exerted, 
especially  upon  the  votes  of  faction :  for  here  is 
the  point  upon  which  the  question  mainly  turns. 
In  the  next  place,  I  shall  consider  the  effects  of 
those  *  suggestions '  emphatically  termed  '  inter 
nal'  when  applied  to  the  same  subject.  And,  in 
the  third  place,  I  shall  compare  these  effects  with 
'  the  bias  of  jurisprudence/  considered  as  the  only 
resort  in  times  of  popular  excitement ;  for  these 
are  supposed  to  exist  by  the  very  terms  of  the 
question. 

"The  first  head  of  this  arrangement,  and  in 
deed  the  whole  subject  of  dispute,  has  already 
been  disposed  of  by  this  society.  We  have  dis 
cussed  the  question,  '  Are  there  any  innate  max- 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  185 

ims  ?'  and  with  that  subject  and  this  there  is 
such  an  intimate  affinity  that  it  is  impossible  to 
disunite  them  without  prostrating  the  vital  ener 
gies  of  both,  and  introducing  the  wildest  disor 
der  and  confusion,  where,  by  the  very  nature  of 
things,  there  exist  the  most  harmonious  coinci 
dences  and  the  most  happy  and  euphonic  conge 
nialities.  Here,  then,  might  I  rest,  Mr.  President, 
upon  the  decision  of  this  society  with  perfect 
confidence.  But,  sir,  I  am  not  forced  to  rely 
upon  the  inseparable  affinities  of  the  two  ques 
tions  for  success  in  this  dispute,  obvious  as  they 
must  be  to  every  reflecting  mind.  All  history, 
ancient  and  modern,  furnishes  examples  cor 
roborative  of  the  views  which  I  have  taken  of 
this  deeply  interesting  subject.  By  what  means 
did  the  renowned  poets,  philosophers,  orators, 
and  statesmen  of  antiquity  gain  their  immortal 
ity  ?  Whence  did  Milton,  Shakespeare,  Newton, 
Locke,  Watts,  Paley,  Burke,  Chatham,  Pitt, 
Fox,  and  a  host  of  others  whom  I  might  name, 
pluck  their  never-fading  laurels  ?  I  answer  bold 
ly,  and  without  the  fear  of  contradiction,  that, 
though  they  all  reached  the  temple  of  Fame  by 
different  routes,  they  all  passed  through  the 
broad  vista  of  l  internal  suggestions.'  The  same 
may  be  said  of  Jefferson,  Madison,  and  many 
other  distinguished  personages  of  our  own  coun 
try. 

"  I  challenge  the  gentlemen  on  the  other  side 
to  produce  examples  like  these  in  support  of 
their  cause." 

Mr.   Longworth  pressed  these   profound  and 


186  GEORGIA    SCENES 

logical  views  to  a  length  to  which  our  limits  will 
not  permit  us  to  follow  him,  and  which  the  read 
er's  patience  would  hardly  bear  if  they  would. 
Perhaps,  however,  he  will  bear  with  us  while  AVC 
give  the  conclusion  of  Mr.  Longworth's  remarks, 
as  it  was  here  that  he  put  forth  all  his  strength  : 
"  Mr.  President, — Let  the  bias  of  jurispru 
dence  predominate,  and  how  is  it  possible  (con 
sidering  it  merely  as  extending  to  those  impulses 
which  may  with  propriety  be  termed  a  bias] — 
how  is  it  possible  for  a  government  to  exist 
whose  object  is  the  public  good  ?  The  marble- 
hearted  marauder  might  seize  the  throne  of  civil 
authority,  and  hurl  into  thraldom  the  votaries 
of  rational  liberty.  Virtue,  justice,  and  all  the 
nobler  principles  of  human  nature  would  wither 
away  under  the  pestilential  breath  of  political 
faction ;  and  an  unnerved  constitution  be  left 
to  the  sport  of  demagogue  and  parasite.  Crash 
after  crash  would  be  heard  in  quick  succession, 
as  the  strong  pillars  of  the  republic  give  way, 
and  Despotism  would  shout  in  hellish  triumph 
amid  the  crumbling  ruins.  Anarchy  would  wave 
her  bloody  sceptre  over  the  devoted  land,  and 
the  bloodhounds  of  civil  war  would  lap  the 
crimson  gore  of  our  most  worthy  citizens.  The 
shrieks  of  women  and  the  screams  of  children 
would  be  drowned  amid  the  clash  of  swords  and 
the  cannon's  peal  ;  and  Liberty,  mantling  her 
face  from  the  horrid  scene,  would  spread  her 
golden -tinted  pinions,  and  wing  her  flight  to 
some  far-distant  land,  never  again  to  revisit  our 
peaceful  shores.  In  vain  should  we  then  sigh 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  187 

for  the  beatific  reign  of  those  '  suggestions '  which 
I  am  proud  to  acknowledge  as  peculiarly  and  ex 
clusively  'internal/' 

Mr.  M'Dermot  rose  promptly  at  the  call  of 
the  president,  and  proceeded  as  follows  : 

"Mr.  President, — If  I  listened  unmoved  to  the 
very  labored  appeal  to  the  passions  which  has 
just  been  made,  it  was  not  because  I  am  insen 
sible  to  the  powers  of  eloquence,  but  because  I 
happen  to  be  blessed  with  the  small  measure  of 
sense  which  is  necessary  to  distinguish  true  elo 
quence  from  the  wild  ravings  of  an  unbridled 
imagination.  Grave  and  solemn  appeals,  when 
ill-timed  and  misplaced,  are  apt  to  excite  ridi 
cule  ;  hence  it  was  that  I  detected  myself  more 
than  once  in  open  laughter  during  the  most  pa 
thetic  parts  of  Mr.  Longworth's  argument,  if  so 
it  can  be  called.*  In  the  midst  of  'crashing 
pillars/  '  crumbling  ruins/  'shouting  Despotism/ 
'screaming  women/  and  'flying  Liberty/  the 
question  was  perpetually  recurring  to  me,  what 
has  all  this  to  do  with  the  subject  of  dispute  ?  I 
will  not  follow  the  example  of  that  gentleman. 
It  shall  be  my  endeavor  to  clear  away  the  mist 
which  he  has  thrown  around  the  subject,  and 
to  place  it  before  the  society  in  a  clear,  intelli 
gible  point  of  view  ;  for  I  must  say  that,  though 
his  speech  bears  strong  marks  of  the  pen  (sar 
castically),  it  has  but  few  marks  of  sober  reflec- 


*  This  was  extemporaneous,  and  well  conceived  ;  for 
Mr.  M 'Dermot  had  not  played  his  part  witli  becoming 
gravity. 


188  GEORGIA    SCENES 

tion.  Some  of  it,  I  confess,  is  very  intelligible 
and  very  plausible  ;  but  most  of  it,  I  boldly  as 
sert,  no  man  living  can  comprehend.  I  men 
tion  this  for  the  edification  of  that  gentleman 
(who  is  usually  clear  and  forcible),  to  teach  him 
that  he  is  most  successful  when  he  labors  least. 

"Mr.  President, — The  gentleman,  in  opening 
the  debate,  stated  that  the  question  was  one  of 
vast  importance,  pervading  the  profound  depths 
of  psychology,  and  embracing  within  its  ample 
range  the  whole  circle  of  arts  and  sciences.  And 
really,  sir,  he  has  verified  his  statement ;  for  he 
has  extended  it  over  the  whole  moral  and  phys 
ical  world.  But,  Mr.  President,  I  take  leave  to 
differ  from  the  gentleman  at  the  very  thresh 
old  of  his  remarks.  The  subject  is  one  which 
is  confined  within  very  narrow  limits.  It  ex 
tends  no  further  than  to  the  elective  franchise, 
and  is  not  even  commensurate  with  this  impor 
tant  privilege ;  for  it  stops  short  at  the  vote  of 
faction.  In  this  point  of  light  the  subject  comes 
within  the  grasp  of  the  most  common  intellect ; 
it  is  plain,  simple,  natural,  and  intelligible. 
Thus  viewing  it,  Mr.  President,  where  does  the 
gentleman  find  in  it,  or  in  all  nature  besides, 
the  original  of  the  dismal  picture  which  he  has 
presented  to  the  society  ?  It  loses  all  its  inter 
est,  and  becomes  supremely  ridiculous.  Having 
thus,  Mr.  President,  divested  the  subject  of  all 
obscurity,  having  reduced  it  to  those  few  ele 
ments  with  which  we  are  all  familiar,  I  proceed 
to  make  a  few  deductions  from  the  premises, 
which  seem  to  me  inevitable,  and  decisive  of  the 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  189 

question.  I  lay  it  down  as  a  self-evident  prop 
osition,  that  faction  in  all  its  forms  is  hideous  ; 
and  I  maintain,  with  equal  confidence,,  that  it 
never  has  been  nor  never  will  be  restrained  by 
those  suggestions  which  the  gentleman  '  em 
phatically  terms  internal.'  No,  sir,  nothing 
short  of  the  bias,  and  the  very  strong  bias  too, 
of  jurisprudence,  or  the  potent  energies  of  the 
sword,  can  restrain  it.  But,  sir,  I  shall  here, 
perhaps,  be  asked,  whether  there  is  not  a  very 
wide  difference  between  a  turbulent,  lawless  fac 
tion  and  the  vote  of  faction  ?  Most  unques 
tionably  there  is ;  and  to  this  distinction  I  shall 
presently  advert,  and  demonstrably  prove  that  it 
is  a  distinction  which  makes  altogether  in  our 
favor." 

Thus  did  Mr.  M'Dermot  continue  to  dissect 
and  expose  his  adversary's  argument,  in  the  most 
clear,  conclusive,  and  masterly  manner,  at  con 
siderable  length.  But  we  cannot  deal  more 
favorably  by  him  than  we  have  dealt  by  Mr. 
Longworth.  We  must  therefore  dismiss  him 
after  we  shall  have  given  the  reader  his  con 
cluding  remarks.  They  were  as  follows  : 

"  Let  us  now  suppose  Mr.  Longworth's  prin 
ciples  brought  to  the  test  of  experiment.  Let 
us  suppose  his  language  addressed  to  all  man 
kind.  '  We  close  the  temples  of  justice  as  use 
less  ;  we  burn  our  codes  of  laws  as  worthless  ; 
and  we  substitute  in  their  places  the  more  valu 
able  restraints  of  internal  suggestions.  Thieves, 
invade  not  your  neighbor's  property  ;  if  you  do, 
you  will  be  arraigned  before  the  august  tribunal 


190  GEORGIA    SCENES 

of  conscience.  Kobbers,  stay  your  lawless  hand, 
or  you  will  be  visited  with  the  tremendous  pen 
alties  of  psychology.  Murderers,  spare  the  blood 
of  your  fellow-creatures;  or  you  will  be  exposed 
to  the  excruciating  tortures  of  innate  maxims — 
when  it  shall  be  discovered  that  there  are  any.' 
Mr.  President,  could  there  be  a  broader  license  to 
crime  than  this  ?  Could  a  better  plan  be  devised 
for  dissolving  the  bands  of  civil  society  ?  It  re 
quires  not  the  gift  of  prophecy  to  foresee  the 
consequences  of  these  novel  and  monstrous  prin 
ciples.  The  strong  would  tyrannize  over  the 
weak ;  the  poor  would  plunder  the  rich ;  the 
servant  would  rise  above  the  master ;  the  drones 
of  society  would  fatten  upon  the  hard  earnings 
of  the  industrious.  Indeed,  sir,  industry  would 
soon  desert  the  land  ;  for  it  would  have  neither 
reward  nor  encouragement.  Commerce  would 
cease  ;  arts  and  sciences  would  languish ;  all  the 
sacred  relations  would  be  dissolved,  and  scenes 
of  havoc,  dissolution,  and  death  ensue,  such  as 
never  will  visit  it  until  mankind  learn  to  repose 
their  destinies  upon  '  those  suggestions  emphati 
cally  termed  internal.'  From  all  these  evils  there 
is  a  secure  retreat  behind  the  brazen  wall  of  the 
bias  of  jurisprudence." 

The  gentleman  who  was  next  called  on  to  en 
gage  in  the  debate  was  John  Craig,  a  gentleman 
of  good  hard  sense,  but  who  was  utterly  incom 
petent  to  say  a  word  upon  a  subject  which  lie 
did  not  understand.  He  proceeded  thus  : 

"  Mr.  President, — When  this  subject  was  pro 
posed,  I  candidly  confessed  I  did  not  understand 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  191 

it,  and  I  was  informed  by  Mr.  L-ongworth  and 
Mr.  M'Dermot  that  either  of  them  would  explain 
it  at  any  leisure  moment.  But,  sir,  they  seem  to 
have  taken  very  good  care,  from  that  time  to 
this,  to  have  no  leisure  moment.  I  have  in 
quired  of  both  of  them  repeatedly  for  an  expla 
nation  ;  but  they  were  always  too  busy  to  talk 
about  it.  "Well,  sir,  as  it  was  proposed  by  Mr. 
Longworth,  I  thought  he  would  certainly  explain 
it  in  his  speech  ;  but  I  understood  no  more  of 
his  speech  than  I  did  of  the  subject.  Well,  sir, 
I  thought  I  should  certainly  learn  something 
from  Mr.  M'Dermot,  especially  as  he  promised, 
at  the  commencement  of  his  speech,  to  clear 
away  the  mist  that  Mr.  Longworth  had  thrown 
about  the  subject,  and  to  place  it  in  a  clear,  in 
telligible  point  of  light.  But,  sir,  the  only  dif 
ference  between  his  speech  and  Mr.  Longworth's 
is,  that  it  was  not  quite  as  flighty  as  Mr.  Long- 
worth's.  I  couldn't  understand  head  nor  tail  of 
it.  At  one  time  they  seemed  to  argue  the  ques 
tion  as  if  it  were  this  :  '  Is  it  better  to  have  law 
or  no  law?'  At  another,  as  though  it  was, 
6  Should  faction  be  governed  by  law,  or  be  left  to 
their  own  consciences  ?'  But  most  of  the  time 
they  argued  it  as  if  it  were  just  what  it  seems  to 
be — a  sentence  without  sense  or  meaning.'  But, 
sir,  I  suppose  its  obscurity  is  owing  to  my  dul- 
ness  of  apprehension  ;  for  they  appeared  to  argue 
it  with  great  earnestness  and  feeling,  as  if  they 
understood  it. 

"I  shall  put  my  interpretation  upon  it,  Mr. 
President,  and  argue  it  accordingly. 


192  GEORGIA   SCENES 

"  '  WHETHER,,  AT  PUBLIC  ELECTIONS' — that  is, 
for  members  of  Congress,  members  of  the  Legis 
lature,  etc.  — '  SHOULD  THE  VOTES  of  faction  ' — I 

don't  know  what  'faction '  has  got  to  do  with  it, 
and  therefore  I  shall  throw  it  out — 'SHOULD 

THE  VOTES  PREDOMINATE  BY  INTERNAL  SUG 
GESTIONS  OR  THE  BIAS  ' — I  don't  know  what  the 
article  is  put  in  here  for.  It  seems  to  me  it  ought 
to  be,  be  BIASSED  by  '  jurisprudence '  or  law.  In 
short,  Mr.  President,  I  understand  the  question 
to  be,  should  a  man  vote  as  he  pleases,  or  should 
the  law  say  Jiow  he  should  vote  ?" 

Here  Mr.  Longworth  rose  and  observed  that 
though  Mr.  Craig  was  on  his  side,  he  felt  it  due 
to  their  adversaries  to  state  that  this  wasnnot  a 
true  exposition  of  the  subject.  This  exposition 
settled  the  question  at  once  on  his  side  ;  for  no 
body  would  for  a  moment  contend  that  the  law 
should  declare  how  men  should  vote.  Unless  it 
be  confined  to  the  vote  of  faction  and  the  bias  of 
jurisprudence,  it  was  no  subject  at  all.  To  all 
this  Mr.  M'Dermot  signified  his  unqualified  ap 
probation  ;  and  seemed  pleased  with  the  candor 
of  his  opponent. 

"Well,"  said  Mr.  Craig,  "I  thought  it  was  im 
possible  that  any  one  should  propose  such  a 
question  as  that  to  the  society  ;  but  will  Mr. 
Longworth  tell  us,  if  it  does  not  mean  that,  what 
does  it  mean  ?  for  I  don't  see  what  great  change 
is  made  in  it  by  his  explanation." 

Mr.  Longworth  replied  that  if  the  remarks 
which  he  had  just  made,  and  his  argument,  had 
not  fully  explained  the  subject  to  Mr.  Craig,  he 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  193 

feared.it  would  be  out  of  his  power  to  explain 
it. 

"  Then/7  said  Mr.  Craig,  "  I'll  pay  my  fine,  for 
I  don't  understand  a  word  of  it." 

The  next  one  summoned  to  the  debate  was 
Mr.  Pentigall.  Mr.  Pentigall  was  one  of  those 
who  would  never  acknowledge  his  ignorance  of 
anything  which  any  person  else  understood  ;  and 
that  Longworth  and  M'Dermot  were  both  mas 
ters  of  the  subject  was  clear,  both  from  their 
fluency  and  seriousness.  He  therefore  deter 
mined  to  understand  it  at  all  hazards.  Conse 
quently,  he  rose  at  the  president's  command  with 
considerable  self-confidence.  I  regret,  however, 
that  it  is  impossible  to  commit  Mr.  Pentigall's 
manner  to  paper,  without  which  his  remarks  lose 
nearly  all  their  interest.  He  was  a  tall,  hand 
some  man,  a  little  theatric  in  his  manner,  rapid 
in  his  delivery,  and  singular  in  his  pronunciation. 
He  gave  to  the  e  and  i  of  our  language  the  sound 
of  u  ;  at  least,  his  peculiar  intonations  of  voice 
seemed  to  give  them  that  sound  ;  and  his  rapidi 
ty  of  utterance  seemed  to  change  the  termina 
tion  " tion"  into  "ah."  With  all  his  peculiari 
ties,  however,  he  was  a  fine  fellow.  If  he  was 
ambitious,  he  was  not  invidious,  and  he  possessed 
an  amicable  disposition.  He  proceeded  as  fol 
lows  : 

"Mr.  President, —  This  internal  suggestion 
which  has  been  so  eloquently  discussed  by  Mr. 
Longworth,  and  the  bias  of  jurisprudence  which 
has  been  so  ably  advocated  by  Mr.  M'Dermot — 
hem  ! — Mr.  President,  in  order  to  fix  the  line  of 

13 


194  GEORGIA    SCENES 

demarcation  between — ah — the  internal  sugges 
tion  and  the  bias  of  jurisprudence — Mr.  Presi 
dent,  I  think,  sir,  that — ah — the  subject  must  be 
confined  to  the  vote  of  faction  and  the  bias  of 
jurisprudence/7 

Here  Mr.  Pentigall  clapped  his  right  hand  to 
his  forehead,  as  though  he  had  that  moment 
heard  some  overpowering  news  ;  and,  after  main 
taining  this  position  for  about  the  space  of  ten 
seconds,  he  slowly  withdrew  his  hand,  gave  his 
head  a  slight  inclination  to  the  right,  raised  his 
eyes  to  the  president  as  if  just  awakening  from 
a  trance,  and,  with  a  voice  of  the  most  hopeless 
despair,  concluded  with  "I  don't  understand  the 
subject,  Muster  Prusidunt." 

The  rest  of  the  members  on  both  sides  sub 
mitted  to  be  fined  rather  than  attempt  the  knotty 
subject ;  but,  by  common  consent,  the  penal  rule 
was  dispensed  with.  Nothing  now  remained  to 
close  the  exercises  but  the  decision  of  the  chair. 

The  president,  John  Nuble,  was  a  young  man 
not  unlike  Craig  in  his  turn  of  mind,  though  he 
possessed  an  intellect  a  little  more  sprightly  than 
Craig's.  His  decision  was  short. 

"Gentlemen/'  said  he,  "I  do  not  understand 
the  subject.  This,"  continued  he  (pulling  out 
his  knife,  and  pointing  to  the  silvered  or  cross 
side  of  it),  "is  'Internal  Suggestions.'  And 
this"  (pointing  to  the  other  or  pile  side)  "is 
'Bias  of  Jurisprudence/'  So  saying,  he  threw 
up  his  knife,  and  upon  its  fall  determined  that 
"Internal  Suggestions"  had  got  it,  and  ordered 
the  decision  to  be  registered  accordingly. 


THE    DEBATING    SOCIETY  195 

It  is  worthy  of  note  that,  in  their  zeal  to  ac 
complish  their  purpose,  Longworth  and  M'Der- 
mot  forgot  to  destroy  the  lists  of  subjects  from 
which  they  had  selected  the  one  so  often  men 
tioned  ;  and  one  of  these  lists,  containing  the 
subject  discussed,  with  a  number  more  like  it, 
was  picked  up  by  Mr.  Craig,  who  made  a  public 
exhibition  of  it,  threatening  to  arraign  the  con 
spirators  before  the  society  for  a  contempt.  But, 
as  the  parting  hour  was  at  hand,  he  overlooked 
it,  with  the  rest  of  the  brotherhood,  and  often 
laughed  heartily  at  the  trick. 

HALL. 


THE  MILITIA   COMPANY   DRILL* 

I  HAPPENED,  not  long  since,  to  be  present  at 
the  muster  of  a  captain's  company  in  a  remote 
part  of  one  of  the  counties  ;  and  as  no  general 
description  could  convey  an  accurate  idea  of  the 
achievements  of  that  day,  I  must  be  permitted 
to  go  a  little  into  detail,  as  well  as  my  recollec 
tion  will  serve  me. 

The  men  had  been  notified  to  meet  at  nine 
o'clock,  "armed  and  equipped  as  the  law  di 
rects"  ;  that  is  to  say,  with  a  gun  and  cartridge- 
box,  at  least,  but,  as  directed  by  the  law  of  the 
United  States,  "  with  a  good  firelock,  a  suffi 
cient  bayonet  and  belt,  and  a  pouch  with  a  box 
to  contain  no  less  than  twenty -four  sufficient 
cartridges  of  powder  and  ball." 

At  twelve,  about  one  -  third,  perhaps  one- 
half,  of  the  men  had  collected,  and  an  in 
spector's  return  of  the  number  present,  and  of 
their  arms,  would  have  stood  nearly  thus  :  1 
captain;  1  lieutenant;  ensign,  none;  fifers,  none; 

*  This  is  from  the  pen  of  a  friend,  who  has  kindly  per 
mitted  me  to  place  it  among  the  "  Georgia  Scenes."  It 
was  taken  from  the  life,  and  published  about  twenty 
years  ago. — The  Author, 


THE    MILITIA    COMPANY    DRILL  197 

privates  present,  24;  ditto  absent,  40  ;  guns,  14  ; 
gunlocks,  12  ;  ramrods,  10  ;  rifle  pouches,  3  ;  bay 
onets,  none  ;  belts,  none  ;  spare  flints,  none  ;  car 
tridges,  none  ;  horsewhips,  walking  -  canes,  and 
umbrellas,  10.  A  little  before  one,  the  captain, 
whom  I  shall  distinguish  by  the  name  of  Clod- 
pole,  gave  directions  for  forming  the  line  of 
parade.  In  obedience  to  this  order,  one  of  the 
sergeants,  whose  lungs  had  long  supplied  the 
place  of  a  drum  and  fife,  placed  himself  in  front 
of  the  house  and  began  to  bawl  with  great  vehe 
mence,  "All  Captain  Clodpole's  company  parade 
here  !  Come,  gentlemen,  parade  here  \"  says  he  ; 
"all  you  that  hasn't  got  guns,  fall  into  the  lower 
send."  He  might  have  bawled  till  this  time 
with  as  little  success  as  the  sirens  who  sang  to 
Ulysses,  had  he  not  changed  his  post  to  a  neigh 
boring  shade.  There  he  was  immediately  joined 
by  all  who  were  then  at  leisure ;  the  others  were 
at  that  time  engaged  as  parties  or  spectators  at  a 
game  of  fives,  and  could  not  just  then  attend. 
However,  in  less  than  half  an  hour  the  game 
was  finished,  and  the  captain  enabled  to  form  his 
company  and  proceed  in  the  duties  of  the  day. 

"Look  to  the  right  and  dress!" 

They  were  soon,  by  the  help  of  the  non-com 
missioned  officers,  placed  in  a  straight  line  ;  but, 
as  every  man  was  anxious  to  see  how  the  rest 
stood,  those  on  the  wings  pressed  forward  for 
that  purpose,  till  the  whole  line  assumed  nearly 
the  form  of  a  crescent. 

"  Why,  look  at  'em  !"  says  the  captain.  "  Why, 
gentlemen,  you  are  all  a-crooking  in  at  both 


198  GEORGIA    SCENES 

eends,  so  that  you  will  get  on  to  me  by-and-by  ! 
Come,  gentlemen,  dress,  dress  /" 

This  was  accordingly  done  ;  but,  impelled  by 
the  same  motives  as  before,  they  soon  resumed 
their  former  figure,  and  so  they  were  permitted 
to  remain. 

"Now,  gentlemen/7  says  the  captain,  "Fin 
going  to  carry  you  through  the  revolutions  of  the 
manual  exercise  ;  and  I  want  you  gentlemen,  if 
you  please,  to  pay  particular  attention  to  the 
word  of  command,  just  exactly  as  I  give  it  out 
to  you.  I  hope  you  will  have  a  little  patience, 
gentlemen,  if  you  please;  and  if  I  should  be  ago 
ing  wrong,  I  will  be  much  obliged  to  any  of  you, 
gentlemen,  to  put  me  right  again ;  for  I  mean  all 
for  the  best,  and  I  hope  you  will  excuse  me,  if 
you  please.  And  one  thing,  gentlemen,  I  cau 
tion  you  against  in  particular,  and  that  is  this  : 
not  to  make  any  mistakes,  if  you  can  possibly 
help  it ;  and  the  best  way  to  do  this  will  be  to  do 
all  the  motions  right  at  first ;  and  that  will  help 
us  to  get  along  so  much  the  faster ;  and  I  will 
try  to  have  it  over  as  soon  as  possible.  Come, 
boys,  come  to  a  shoulder. 

"  Poise,  foolb  !*. 

"  Cock,  foolJc  I    Very  handsomely  done. 

"Take,  aim! 

"  Ram  down,  cartridge  I  No  !  no  !  Fire  I  I 
recollect  now  that  firing  comes  next  after  taking 
aim,  according  to  Steuben  ;  but  with  your  per- 

*  A  contraction  and  corruption  of  "firelock."  Thus  : 
"  firelock,"  "flock,"  "  foolk." 


200  GEORGIA    SCENES 

mission,  gentlemen,  I'll  read  the  words  of  com 
mand  just  exactly  as  they  are  printed  in  the 
book,  and  then  I  shall  be  sure  to  be  right." 

"  Oh  yes ;  read  it,  captain,  read  it !"  exclaimed 
twenty  voices  at  once  ;  "  that  will  save  time/' 

"'Tention  the  whole!  Please  to  observe,  gen 
tlemen,  that  at  the  word  '  fire  !'  you  must  fire  ; 
that  is»  if  any  of  your  guns  are  loaden'd,  you  must 
not  shoot  in  y earnest,  but  only  make  pretence 
like  ;  and  you,  gentlemen,  fellow-soldiers,  who's 
armed  with  nothing  but  sticks,  riding-switches, 
and  corn-stalks,  needn't  go  through  the  firings, 
but  stand  as  you  are,  and  keep  yourselves  to 
yourselves. 

"  Half  cock,  foolJc  !     Very  well  done. 

"  S-li-e-t  (spelling) — sliet,pan!  That  too  would 
have  been  handsomely  done,  if  you  hadn't  han 
dled  ca'tridge  instead  of  shotting  pan  ;  but  I  sup 
pose  you  wasn't  noticing.  Now  'tention,  one  and 
all,  gentlemen,  and  do  that  motion  again. 

"Shet,  pan!  Very  good,  very  well  indeed; 
you  did  that  motion  equal  to  any  old  soldier ;  you 
improve  astonishingly. 

"Handle,  ca'tridge!  Pretty  well,  considering 
you  done  it  wrong  end  foremost,  as  if  you  took 
the  ca'tridge  out  of  your  mouth.,  and  bit  off  the 
twist  with  the  ca'tridge-box. 

"Draw,  rammer!  Those  who  have  110  ram 
mers  to  their  guns  need  not  draw,  but  only  make 
the  motion  ;  it  will  do  just  as  well,  and  save  a 
great  deal  of  time. 

"Return,  rammer!  Very  well  again.  But 
that  would  have  been  done,  I  think,  with  greater 


THE    MILITIA   COMPANY    DRILL  201 

expertness  if  you  had  performed  the  motion  with 
a  little  more  dexterity. 

"  8-h-o-u-l — shoulder,  foolk!  Very  handsome 
ly  done  indeed  !  Put  your  guns  on  the  other 
shoulder,  gentlemen. 

"  Order,  foolk!  Not  quite  so  well,  gentlemen; 
not  quite  altogether ;  but  perhaps  I  did  not 
speak  loud  enough  for  you  to  hear  me  all  at 
once.  Try  once  more,  if  you  please.  I  hope 
you  will  be  patient,  gentlemen  ;  we  will  soon  be 
through. 

"  Order,  foolk  !  Handsomely  done,  gentlemen  ! 
Very  handsomely  done  !  and  all  together,  too,  ex 
cept  that  one-half  of  you  were  a  leetle  too  soon, 
and  the  other  half  a  leetle  too  late. 

"In  laying  down  your  guns,  gentlemen,  take 
care  to  lay  the  locks  up  and  the  other  side  down. 

"'Tention  the  whole!  Ground,  foolk !  Very 
well. 

"Charge,  bayonet!" 

(Some  of  the  men) — "That  can't  be,  captain  ; 
pray,  look  again  ;  for  how  can  we  charge  bayonet 
without  our  guns  ?" 

(Captain] — "I  don't  know  as  to  that,  but  I 
know  I'm  right,  for  here  'tis  printed  in  the  book  ; 
c-h-a-r— yes,  charge,  bayonet,  that's  right,  that's 
the  word,  if  I  know  how  to  read.  Come,  gentle 
men,  do  pray  charge  bayonet !  Charge,  I  say  ! 
Why  don't  you  charge  ?  Do  you  think  it  ain't 
so  :  Do  you  think  I  have  lived  to  this  time  o' 
day  and  don't  know  what  charge  bayonet  is  ? 
Here,  come  here,  you  may  see  for  yourselves  ; 
it's  as  plain  as  the  nose  on  your  fa — stop — stay — 


202  GEORGIA    SCENES 

no — halt !  no  !  Faith,  I'm  wrong  !  I  turned 
over  two  leaves  at  once.  I  beg  your  pardon,  we 
will  not  stay  out  long ;  and  we'll  have  something 
to  drink  as  soon  as  we  have  done.  Come,  boys, 
get  off  the  stumps  and  logs,  and  take  up  your 
guns ;  we'll  soon  be  done  ;  excuse  me,  if  you 
please. 

"Fix,  bayonet ! 

"Advance,  arms!  Very  well  done;  turn  the 
stocks  of  your  guns  in  front,  gentlemen,  and 
that  will  bring  the  barrels  behind  ;  hold  them 
straight  up  and  down,  if  you  please  ;  let  go  with 
your  left,  and  take  hold  with  your  right  hand 
below  the  guard.  Steuben  says  the  gun  should 
be  held  p-e-r — -pertic'lar ;  yes,  you  must  always 
mind  and  hold  your  guns  very  pertic'lar.  Now, 
boys,  Mention  the  whole  ! 

"  Present,  arms !  Very  handsomely  done  ! 
only  hold  your  gun  over  t'other  knee — t'other 
hand  up — turn  your  hands  round  a  little,  and 
raise  them  up  higher — draw  t'other  foot  back — 
now  you  are  nearly  right — very  well  done. 

"  Gentlemen,  we  come  now  to  the  revolutions. 
Men,  you  have  all  got  into  a  sort  of  snarl,  as  I  may 
say ;  how  did  you  all  get  into  such  a  higglety- 
pigglety  ?" 

The  fact  was,  the  shade  had  moved  considera 
bly  to  the  eastward,  and  had  exposed  the  right 
wing  of  these  hardy  veterans  to  a  galling  fire  of 
the  sun.  Being  poorly  provided  with  umbrellas 
at  this  end  of  the  line,  they  found  it  convenient 
to  follow  the  shade ;  and  in  huddling  to  the  left 
for  this  purpose  they  changed  the  figure  of  their 


THE   MILITIA   COMPANY    DRILL  ^03 

line  from  that  of  a  crescent  to  one  which  more 
nearly  resembled  a  pair  of  pothooks. 

"  Come,  gentlemen,"  says  the  captain,  "  spread 
yourselves  out  again  into  a  straight  line,  and  let 
us  get  into  the  wheelings  and  other  matters  as 
soon  as  possible." 

But  this  was  strenuously  opposed  by  the  sol 
diers.  They  objected  to  going  into  the  revolu 
tions  at  all,  inasmuch  as  the  weather  was  ex 
tremely  hot,  and  they  had  already  been  kept  in 
the  field  upward  of  three  -  quarters  of  an  hour. 
They  reminded  the  captain  of  his  repeated  prom 
ise  to  be  as  short  as  he  possibly  could,  audit  was 
clear  he  could  dispense  with  all  this  wheeling  and 
flourishing  if  he  chose.  They  were  already  very 
thirsty,  and  if  he  would  not  dismiss  them  they 
declared  they  would  go  off  without  dismission 
and  get  something  to  drink,  and  he  might  fine 
them,  if  that  would  do  him  any  good  ;  they  were 
able  to  pay  their  fine,  but  would  not  go  without 
drink  to  please  anybody ;  and  they  swore  they 
would  never  vote  for  another  captain  who  wished 
to  be  so  unreasonably  strict. 

The  captain  behaved  with  great  spirit  upon  the 
occasion,  and  a  smart  colloquy  ensued;  when  at 
length,  becoming  exasperated  to  the  last  degree, 
he  roundly  asserted  that  no  soldier  ought  ever  to 
tliink  hard  of  the  orders  of  his  officer ;  and,  finally, 
he  went  so  far  as  to  say  that  he  did  not  think  any 
gentleman  on  that  ground  had  any  just  cause  to 
be  offended  with  him.  The  dispute  was  finally 
settled  by  the  captain  sending  for  some  grog  for 
their  present  accommodation,  and  agreeing  to 


204  GEORGIA    SCENES 

omit  reading  the  military  law,  and  the  perform 
ance  of  all  the  manoeuvres,  except  two  or  three 
such  easy  and  simple  ones  as  could  be  performed 
within  the  compass  of  the  shade.  After  they  had 
drunk  their  grog  and  had  "spread  themselves," 
they  were  divided  into  platoons. 

" '  Tention  the  whole  !     To  the  right  wheel !" 

Each  man  faced  to  the  right  about. 

"Why,  gentlemen,  I  did  not  mean  for  every 
man  to  stand  still  and  turn  himself  Mat'rally  right 
round  ;  but  when  I  told  you  to  wheel  to  the  right, 
I  intended  you  to  wheel  round  to  the  right,  as 
it  were.  Please  to  try  again,  gentlemen  ;  every 
right-hand  man  must  stand  fast,  and  only  the 
others  turn  round." 

In  the  previous  part  of  the  exercise  it  had,  for 
the  purpose  of  sizing,  been  necessary  to  denomi 
nate  every  second  person  a  "right-hand  man." 
A  very  natural  consequence  was  that,  on  the  pres 
ent  occasion,  these  right-hand  men  maintained 
their  position,  all  the  intermediate  ones  facing 
about  as  before. 

"  Why,  look  at  'em,  now  !"  exclaimed  the  cap 
tain,  in  extreme  vexation;  "I'll  be  d — d  if  you 
undersand  a  word  I  say  !  Excuse  me,  gentlemen, 
it  rayly  seems  as  if  you  could  not  come  at  it 
exactly.  In  wheeling  to  the  right,  the  right- 
hand  send  of  the  platoon  stands  fast,  and  the 
other  eend  comes  round  like  a  swingle-tree. 
Those  on  the  outside  must  march  faster  than 
those  on  the  inside.  You  certainly  must  under 
stand  me  now,  gentlemen;  and  please  to  try 
it  once  more." 


THE    MILITIA   COMPANY    DRILL  205 

In  this  they  were  a  little  more  successful. 

"'Tention  the  whole!  To  the  left— left,  no- 
right — that  is,  the  left — /  mean  the  right — left, 
wheel,  march  !" 

In  this  he  was  strictly  obeyed ;  some  Avheeling 
to  the  right,  some  to  the  left,  and  some  to  the 
right-left,  or  both  ways. 

"  Stop!  Halt !  Let  us  try  it  again  !  I  could 
not  just  then  tell  my  right-hand  from  my  left  ! 
You  must  excuse  me,  if  you  please ;  experience 
makes  perfect,  as  the  saying  is.  Long  as  I 
have  served,  I  find  something  new  to  learn  every 
day  ;  but  all's  one  for  that.  Now,  gentlemen,  do 
that  motion  once  more." 

By  the  help  of  a  non-commissioned  officer  in 
front  of  each  platoon,  they  wheeled  this  time 
with  considerable  regularity. 

"Now,  boys,  you  must  try  to  wheel  by  divi 
sions  ;  and  there  is  one  thing  in  particular  which 
I  have  to  request  of  you,  gentlemen,  and  that 
is,  not  to  make  any  blunder  in  your  wheeling. 
You  must  mind  and  keep  at  a  wheeling  distance, 
and  not  talk  in  the  ranks,  nor  get  out  of  fix 
again  ;  for  I  want  you  to  do  this  motion  well, 
and  not  to  make  any  blunder  now. 

1 ' '  Tention  the  ivliole!  By  divisions,  to  the  right 
wheel,  march!" 

In  doing  this  it  seemed  as  if  Bedlam  had  bro 
ken  loose  :  every  man  took  the  command.  Not 
so  fast  on  the  right !  Slow  now !  Haul  down 
those  umbrellas  !  Faster  on  the  left  !  Keep 
back  a  little  there  I  Don't  scrouge  so  !  Hold 
up  your  gun,  Sam !  Go  faster  there !  faster ! 


206  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Who  trod  on  my—?  D— n  your  huffs  !  Keep 
back  !  Stop  us,  captain,  do  stop  us  !  Go  fast 
er,  there  !  I've  lost  my  shoe  !  Get  up  again, 
Ned  !  Halt !  halt  !  halt  !  Stop,  gentlemen  ! 
stop  !  stop ! 

By  this  time  they  had  got  into  utter  and  in 
extricable  confusion,  and  so  I  left  them. 

TIMOTHY  CKABSHAW. 


THE  TURF 

"  COME,"  said  my  friend  Baldwin  to  me,  a  few 
months  ago,  "let  us  go  to  the  turf." 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  I  take  no  interest  in  its  amuse 
ments/' 

' '  Nor  do  I,"  rejoined  he  ;  "  but  I  visit  it  to  ac 
quire  a  knowledge  of  the  human  character  as  it 
exhibits  itself  in  the  various  scenes  of  life,  and 
with  the  hope  of  turning  the  knowledge  thus 
acquired  to  some  good  account.  I  am  the  more 
desirous  that  you  should  accompany  me,"  con 
tinued  he,  "  because,  as  one  pair  of  eyes  and 
ears  cannot  catch  all  that  passes  within  a  scene 
so  spacious,  I  shall  lose  many  instructing,  inter 
esting,  or  amusing  incidents  without  the  assist 
ance  of  a  friend,  and  therefore  I  wish  to  enlist 
your  services." 

"Well,"  said  I,  "with  this  view  I  will  accom 
pany  you." 

We  went ;  and  the  following  is  the  result  of 
our  joint  observations  : 

We  went  early,  when  as  yet  no  one  had  reached 
the  ground  but  those  who  occupied  the  booths 
for  the  purpose  of  traffic.  It  was  not  long,  how 
ever,  before  crowds  of  persons,  of  all  ages,  sexes, 
conditions,  and  complexions,  were  seen  moving 


208  GEORGIA    SCENES 

towards  the  booths ;  some  on  foot,  some  on 
horseback,  some  in  gigs,  some  in  carriages,  some 
in  carts,  and  some  in  wagons.  The  carriages 
(generally  filled  with  well-dressed  ladies)  ar 
ranged  themselves  about  thirty  or  forty  paces 
from  the  starting-point,  towards  the  centre  of 
the  turf.  Around  these  circled  many  young 
gentlemen,  each  riding  his  prettiest,  whipping, 
spurring,  and  curbing  his  horse  into  the  most 
engaging  antics,  and  giving  visible  token  that 
he  thought  every  eye  from  the  carriages  was  on 
him,  and  every  heart  overpowered  by  his  horse 
manship.  As  many  more  plied  between  the 
booths  and  carriages,  bearing  messages,  rumors, 
apples,  oranges,  raisins,  lemonade,  and  punch. 
"  But  surely  no  lady  drank  the  punch  !" 
"  Yes,  three  of  them  did  ;  and  if  I  know  what 
large  swallows  mean,  they  loved  it  too.  But 
they  didn't  drink  long.  The  ladies  ought  to  be 
informed,,  however,  that  a  countryman  passing 
them  observed,  *  The  way  them  women  love  punch 
is  nothing  to  nobody  !'  " 

The  gentlemen  generally  collected  about  the 
booths,  and  employed  themselves  in  loud  talking 
and  drinking.  Here  I  saw  Major  Close,  who  two 
hours  before  declared  he  had  not  enough  to  pay 
a  poor  woman  for  the  making  the  vest  he  had  on, 
treat  a  large  company  to  a  dollar  bowl  of  punch  ; 
and,  ten  minutes  after,  I  saw  the  same  man 
stake  fifty  dollars  on  the  race.  I  saw  another 
gentleman  do  the  same,  who,  four  days  before, 
permitted  his  endorser  to  lift  his  note  in  bank 
for  one  hundred  dollars,  which  note  the  endorser 


THE    TURF  209 

still  held.  But,  thought  I,  the  way  these  gen 
tlemen  treat  their  creditors  "is  nothing  to  no 
body."  One  thing  I  remarked  upon  this  occa 
sion,  which  should  not  be  passed  in  silence.  I 
saw  many  gentlemen  drink  sjjirits  upon  the  turf 
whom  I  never  saw  taste  it  anywhere  else  ;  some 
because  it  seemed  fashionable,  and  some  because 
they  would  bet  nothing  but  a  glass  of  toddy  or 
a  bowl  of  punch,  and,  having  bet  it,  they  must 
help  drink  it. 

I  had  been  employed  perhaps  three-quarters  of 
an  hour  in  making  observations  upon  the  scene 
which  was  before  me,  when  I  observed  a1  group 
of^negroes  and  boys  enter  one  of  the  gates  of  the 
turf,  following,  with  much  seeming  interest,  a 
horse  which  was  led  by  an  aged  black,  by  whose 
side  walked  a  little  negro  boy  about  thirteen 
years  of  age,  dressed  in  pink  throughout.  I  had 
no  doubt  but  that  the  horse  was  one  which  was 
entered  for  the  day's  running ;  and  as  I  was  de 
sirous  of  seeing  all  the  competitors  before  the 
race,  I  advanced  to  meet  him  apart  from  the 
crowd.  As  soon  as  I  approached  near  enough  to 
distinguish  the  features  of  the  old  negro  who  led 
the  animal,  I  discovered  that  he  was  a  gentleman 
who,  upon  that  day  at  least,  was  to  be  approached 
only  with  the  most  profound  respect.  His  step 
was  martial,  his  eye  looked  directly  forward,  and 
his  countenance  plainly  indicated  that  he  had 
many  deep  things  shut  up  in  his  brain,  which 
the  world  had  long  been  trying  to  pry  into  in 
vain.  I  concluded,  however,  that  I  might  vent 
ure  to  ask  him  a  question,  which  all  who  had 
u 


210  GEORGIA    SCENES 

read  the  morning's  Chronicle  could  have  an 
swered.  I  therefore  took  the  liberty  of  address 
ing  him,  as  soon  as  he  came  near  me,  with, 

"  Old  man,  what  horse  is  that  ?" 

The  question  seemed  to  come  like  a  thunder 
bolt  among  his  contemplations  ;  and,  without 
speaking  a  word,  he  bent  upon  me  a  look  which 
I  perfectly  understood  to  mean, 

"  Pray,  sir,  where  were  you  born  and  brought 
up  ?" 

Having  been  thus  foiled  by  the  old  man,  I  re 
solved  to  try  my  luck  with  the  rider  ;  according 
ly,  I  repeated  the  question  to  him.  lie  stopped, 
and  was  in  the  act,  as  I  thought,  of  answering, 
when  the  old  man  bawled  out  to  him,  in  an  an 
gry  tone  : 

"Come  along,  you  Bill ;  never  keep  behind  you' 
hoss  when  you  fuss  (first)  come  on  the  ground." 

Bill  obeyed  promptly,  and  took  his  position  by 
/as  majesty,  who  observed  to  him,  in  an  under 
tone,  as  he  came  alongside  : 

"  Never  tell  de  name  you7  hoss ;  it's  bad  luck." 

Bill's  confusion  plainly  showed  that  he  ought 
to  have  known  a  thing  so  obvious  from  his  in 
fancy.  I  was  as  much  disconcerted  as  Bill ;  but 
was  soon  relieved  by  a  pert  little  blackamoor, 
who,  rather  to  persuade  me  that  he  was  in  all  the 
secrets  of  the  turf  than  in  charity  to  me,  ad 
dressed  me  with, 

"  Master,  I'll  tell  you  what  hoss  dat  is." 

"  Well,  my  boy,"  said  I,  "  what  horse  is  it  ?" 

"  He  young  Butteram,  son  o'  oh  Butteram,  dat 
u sen  to  belong  to  Mr.  Swingletree." 


THE    TURF  211 

' '  And  do  you  know  all  the  horses  that  are  go 
ing  to  run  to-day  ?"  said  I. 

"La,  yes,  sir,"  said  he;  "I  know  ehery  one 
dat's  g\vine  to  run  ebery  day." 

I  concluded  I  would  take  advantage  of  the 
boy's  knowledge  ;  and  therefore  gave  him  twelve 
and  a  half  cents  to  stand  by  me  and  give  me  the 
names  of  the  racers  as  they  passed  ;  for  by  this 
time  they  were  all  on  the  ground  and  following 
the  direction  of  the  first. 

"This  one/'  said  my  mentor,  as  the  next  ap 
proached,  "name  Flory  Randle ;  she  b'long  to 
Mr.  Pet ;  but  I  don't  know  what  hoss  he  daddy, 
though. 

" This  one "  (as  the  next  came  up)  "name  Sir 
William  ;  he  come  all  de  way  from  Virginny,  and 
I  t'ink  dey  say  he  got  by  Virginny  too. 

"And  this"  (as  the  last  approached)  "name 
'Clipse ;  by  jokey,  he  look  to  me  like  he  could 
clip  it  too,  and  I  be  swinged  if  I  don't  go  my 
seb'n-pence  on  him  anyhow  !" 

Thus  I  learned  that  the  four  horses  which  were 
to  run  were  Bertrand,  Flora  Kandolph,  Sir  Will 
iam,  and  Eclipse.  At  this  moment  a  voice  from 
the  judges'  stand  cried,  "  Prepare  your  horses !" 
and  in  an  instant  the  grooms  were  engaged  in 
saddling  the  animals.  This  preliminary  was  soon 
disposed  of,  and  the  owners  proceeded  to  give 
the  riders  their  instructions. 

"Now,  Bob,"  said  Mr.  Pet,  "I  know  that  I 
have  the  heels  of  any  horse  on  the  turf,  but  I'm 
a  little  afraid  of  my  bottom ;  therefore,  save 
your  wind  as  much  as  possible.  Trail  the  lead- 


212  GEORGIA    SCENES 

ing  horse  upon  a  hard  rein,  about  half  a  distance 
behind,  until  you  come  to  the  last  half-mile,  and 
then  let  Flora  off  at  full  speed.  As  soon  as  you 
pass  the  leading  horse  about  a  length,  bear  your 
rein,  and  don't  come  in  more  than  a  length 
ahead." 

"  Sam,"  said  the  owner  of  Sir  William,  "you've 
got  none  to  fear  but  Bertrand,  and  you've  got  the 
bottom  of  him  ;  therefore  give  him  no  rest  from 
the  word  fgo  !'  unless  you  find  that  your  heels 
are  as  good  as  his  ;  and  if  so,  you  needn't  waste 
your  wind.  Feel  Bertrand  at  the  first  rise  of  the 
course  ;  if  he  stands  it  pretty  well,  try  how  you 
can  move  with  him  going  down  the  hill ;  and  if 
you  find  that  you  are  too  hard  for  him  either  at 
rises  or  falls,  pinch  him  hard  at  all  of  them  places ; 
and  when  you  come  to  the  last  half-mile  of  each 
heat,  run  his  heart,  liver,  lights,  and  soul -case 
out  of  him." 

"Ned,"  said  the  owner  of  Eclipse,  "you  are 
not  to  run  for  the  first  heat  at  all,  unless  you  find 
you  can  take  it  very  easy.  Let  Sir  William  take 
the  first  heat.  You  can  beat  the  others  when 
you  please,  and  William  can't  stand  a  push  for 
two  heats  ;  therefore,  just  play  alongside  of  him 
handsomely  for  the  first  three  miles,  and  at  the 
coming  in  just  drop  in  the  distance  pole.  The 
next  heat  take  the  track,  and  press  him  from  the 
start." 

"Bill,"  said  the  owner  of  Bertrand,  "do  you 
take  the  track  at  the  start,  and  keep  it,  and  run 
only  just  fast  enough  to  keep  it." 

Here  the  roll  of  the  drum  and  a  cry  from  the 


THE   TURF  213 

judges'  stand  put  the  horses  in  motion  for  the 
starting-point.  Over  this  point  I  now  observed 
suspended  from  a  pole  a  beautiful  blue  silk  purse, 
spangled  with  silver  and  embroidered  with  gold, 
on  both  sides  of  which  was  marked,  in  golden 
characters,  "$500  !!  !" 

It  would  require  a  volume  to  describe  the 
scene  which  now  ensued. 

"  Captain,  do  you  run  Bertrand  for  the  heat  ?" 

"I  do,  sir." 

"Five  hundred  dollars,  Bertrand  against  the 
field." 

"  Done,  sir." 

"  Major,  will  Eclipse  run  for  the  heat  ?" 

"No,  sir." 

"One  hundred  to  fifty  that  Flora  Randolph 
beats  Eclipse  the  first  heat  !" 

"  Done,  sir" — "Done,  sir" — "  Done,  sir." 

"  I  took  the  bet  first." 

"No,  sir,  I  took  it  first." 

"No  matter,  gentlemen,  I'll  go  you  all  fifty 
apiece." 

"It's  a  bet,  sir"— "It's  a  bet"— "A  bet,  sir." 

"  Here,  Uncle  Sam,  hold  dese  trups." 

"Now  mind  de  bet.  Bob,  he  bet  dat  Flory 
Handle  take  de  fus  heat.  I  bet  he  take  no  heat 
at  all." 

"  Yes,  dat  be  de  bet — you  hear  him,  Uncle 
Sam  ?" 

"  Tell  him  over  agin,  le'  me  listen." 

"  Well,  dis  him  :  if  Flory  take  de  fus  heat,  Bob 
win  ;  if  he  take  no  heat  at  all,  I  Avin." 

"  Berry  well,  I  got  him  now  fass  in  my  head." 


214  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"  Pa,  give  me  a  quarter  to  bet." 

"  What  horse  do  you  want  to  bet  upon,  my 
son  ?" 

"Eclipse." 

"  Oh  no — there's  a  quarter — bet  it  upon  Ber- 
trand." 

"Well,  Miss  Flora,  don't  you  wish  to  bet  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  I'll  bet  you  a  pair  of  gloves." 

"  Well,  what  horse  will  you  take  ?" 

"  Oh,  my  namesake,  of  course." 

"  It's  a  bet ;  you  take  Flora  against  the  field, 
of  course." 

"To  be  sure  I  do." 

Thus  it  went ;  men,  women,  and  children — 
whites  and  blacks — all  betting. 

Such  was  the  bustle,  confusion,  and  uproar 
among  the  men  that  I  could  hardly  see  or  hear 
anything  distinctly,  and  therefore  I  resolved  to 
take  my  position  among  the  carriages,  in  order 
to  observe  the  ladies  under  the  delights  of  the 
turf. 

The  signal  was  now  given,  and  off  went  the 
horses — Flora  ahead,  Bertrand  next,  Sir  William 
next,  and  Eclipse  in  the  rear. 

"  Only  look  at  that  rascal,"  said  Mr.  Pet,  as  he 
charged  by  us  at  full  speed ;  "  how  he  is  riding  ! 
Hold  her  in,  you  rascal,  or  I'll  give  you  five 
hundred  lashes  as  soon  as  you  'light !  Hold  her 
in,  I  tell  you,  you  abominable  puppy,  or  I'll  cut 
your  throat !"  Bob  did  his  best  to  restrain  her, 
for  he  bore  upon  the  rein  until  his  back  came 
nearly  in  contact  with  Flora's,  but  to  no  purpose. 
Ahead  she  would  go  for  the  first  two  miles. 


THE    TURF  215 

"Only  see,  mamma,"  said  Miss  Flora,  "how 
beautifully  Flora  runs  !  Ob,  that  dear  little 
rider"  (a  negro).,  "how  handsomely  be  carries 
himself !  I  knew  I  should  win  my  gloves." 

At  the  completion  of  the  second  mile  Flora 
became  more  manageable,  and  the  other  horses 
passed  her  in  their  order.  As  the  last  gained 
about  a  length  of  her,  "Now,"  said  Pet,  "keep 
her  at  that."  The  rider  straightened  himself  in 
the  saddle,  but  the  space  widened  perceptibly  be 
tween  him  and  Eclipse.  "Don't  bear  upon  the 
rein  so  hard,"  said  Pet.  "Let  her  play  easy." 
Bob  slackened  the  rein  ;  but  Flora  seemed  not  to 
improve  her  liberty.  "Look  how  you're  drop 
ping  behind,"  continued  Pet.  "Let  her  out,  I 
tell  you  !"  Bob  let  her  out,  but  she  would  not 
go  out.  "Let  her  out,  I  tell  you,  or  I  will  blow 
your  brains  out  !"  Here  Bob  gave  her  a  cut. 
"  You  infernal  rascal,  you,  don't  give  her  the 
whip  !  Bring  her  up  to  Eclipse."  Bob  gave  her 
the  lash  again  ;  but  Flora  obstinately  refused  to 
keep  company  with  Eclipse.  "  Very  well,  sir," 
said  Pet,  "  ride  your  own  way,  and  I'll  whip  mine 
when  you  get  home  ;  I  see  how  it  is."  Bob  seem 
ed  to  hear  only  the  first  member  of  the  sentence, 
and  he  gave  the  whip  without  mercy. 

"Why,  Pet,"  said  a  gentleman,  "what  is  the 
matter  with  Flora  to-day  ?" 

"What's  the  matter  with  her,  sir  ?  Don't  you 
see  that  I  can't  make  Bob  do  anything  I  tell  him  ? 
I'll  learn  him  how  to  take  a  bribe  in  future." 

As  Flora  received  the  twentieth  cut,  she  switch 
ed  her  tail.  "Ah!"  said  Mr.  Dimple,  "I  fear 


216  GEORGIA    SCENES 

you've  lost  your  gloves,  Miss  Flora  ;  see,  your 
favorite  switches  her  tail." 

"  Does  Flora  switch  her  tail  ?"  said  Miss  Flora. 
"  Mamma,  Mr.  Dimple  says  Flora  switches  her 
tail  !" 

"Does  Flora  switch  her  tail  ?"  said  Mrs.  Blue. 

"  Does  Flora  switch  her  tail  ?"  said  Miss  Emma. 
"  Oh,  what  a  pity  !" 

The  horses  preserved  their  order  through  the 
heat.  Flora  was  distanced  ;  but  her  rider  main 
tained  his  grace  and  dignity  to  the  last,  and  rode 
as  if  perfectly  satisfied  that  every  eye  was  upon 
him,  and  that  all  were  saying,  "  To  be  sure  Flora 
is  beaten,  but  her  rider  is  decidedly  the  best  on 
the  ground."  In  spite  of  his  cry  of  "Clear  the 
track  !"  however,  the  crowd  closed  in  between 
him  and  the  foremost  horses,  extinguished  his 
graces  from  general  view,  and  forced  him  to  come 
in  in  the  mere  character  of  a  spectator. 

Between  the  first  and  second  heats  I  saw  the 
owners  of  Sir  William  and  Eclipse  in  a  pleasing 
conversation,  but  I  did  not  hear  what  they  said. 

After  a  rest  of  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  the 
horses  were  again  brought  to  the  starting-point ; 
and,  at  the  tap  of  the  drum,  went  off  with  great 
velocity.  Bertrand  took  the  lead,  as  before,  and 
William  pursued  him  very  closely.  They  kept 
within  two  lengths  of  each  other  for  three  miles 
and  a  half,  when  William  locked  his  adversary, 
and  both  riders  commenced  giving  the  whip  and 
spur  without  mercy.  When  they  came  in,  it  was 
evident  to  my  eye  that  Bertrand's  rider  (for  I 
could  not  see  the  horses'  heads)  was  more  than 


THE  TURF  217 

his  width  ahead  of  William's  ;  but  the  judges 
decided  that  William  won  the  heat  by  two  inches 
and  a  quarter.  Eclipse  just  saved  his  distance. 
At  the  close  of  the  heat  the  two  former  exhibited 
a  pitiable  spectacle.  There  was  not  a  dry  hair 
upon  either  of  them,  and  the  blood  streamed 
from  the  flanks  and  sides  of  both. 

"  Mr.  Dimple,"  said  Miss  Emma,  "which  horse 
shall  I  bet  on  next  time  ?  Which  seems  the  most 
distressed  ?" 

"I  declare,  miss,"  said  Dimple,  "  I  don't  know ; 
they  both  seem  to  be  very  much  distressed,  but 
I  think  William  seems  to  be  in  rather  the  worst 
plight." 

Between  this  and  the  following  heat  two  little 
boys  engaged  in  a  fight,  and  not  less  than  fifty 
grown  men  gathered  around  them  to  witness  the 
conflict,  with  as  great  an  uproar  as  if  a  town  were 
on  fire.  This  fight  produced  two  more  between 
grown  persons,  one  of  whom  was  carried  from 
the  turf  with  a  fractured  skull,  as  it  was  thought, 
from  the  blow  of  a  stick.  But  none  of  the  ladies 
went  to  the  fights. 

Again  the  horses  were  brought  up  and  put  off. 
Bertrand  once  more  led  the  way,  and  Eclipse  fol 
lowed  close  at  his  heels  for  about  a  mile  and 
three-quarters,  when  William  ran  up  under  whip, 
nose  and  tail  to  Bertrand.  Eclipse  fell  some  dis 
tance  behind,  and  continued  so  for  a  mile  and  a 
half,  when  he  came  up  and  nearly  locked  Ber 
trand.  Thus  they  ran  three-fourths  of  the  re 
maining  distance.  On  the  last  stretch  they  came 
side  to  side,  and  so  continued  through.  On  this 


218  GEORGIA    SCENES 

heat  I  concurred  with  the  judges  that  it  was  a 
draw  race.  William  was  double-distanced. 

Bertrand  and  Eclipse  put  off  upon  the  fourth 
heat,  Bertrand  still  taking  the  lead  by  about 
half  his  length.  Eclipse  now  pushed  for  the 
track,  but  Bertrand  maintained  it.  For  two 
miles  did  the  riders  continue  so  close  together 
that  they  might  have  joined  hands.  They  had 
entered  upon  the  third  mile  in  this  way,  when, 
at  the  first  turn  of  the  course  from  the  judges' 
stand,  Eclipse  fell  and  killed  his  rider.  Ber 
trand,  being  now  left  without  a  competitor,  gal 
loped  slowly  round  to  the  goal,  where,  with 
great  pomp  and  ceremony,  the  pole  which  held 
the  purse  was  bent  down  to  his  rider,  who  dis 
lodged  it  and  bore  it  on  high,  backward  and  for 
ward,  in  front  of  the  booth,  to  the  sound  of 
drum,  fife,  and  violin. 

"I  declare, "  said  Mrs.  Blue,  as  her  carriage 
wheeled  off,  "  had  it  not  been  for  that  little  ac 
cident,  the  sport  would  have  been  delightful." 

I  left  the  turf  in  company  with  a  large  num 
ber  of  gentlemen,  all  of  whom  concurred  in  the 
opinion  that  they  had  never  witnessed  such 
sport  in  all  their  lives. 

"What  a  pity  it  is,"  said  General  Grubbs, 
"  that  this  amusement  is  not  more  encouraged  ! 

o 

We  never  shall  have  a  fine  breed  of  horses  until 
the  turf  is  more  patronized." 

I  returned  home,  and  had  been  seated  per 
haps  an  hour  when  Baldwin  entered.  "  Well," 
said  he,  "I  have  just  been  favored  with  a  sight 
of  the  contents  of  that  beautiful  purse  which 


THE    TURF  219 

Bertram!  won,,  and  what  do  you  think  it  con 
tained  ?" 

"Why,  five  hundred  dollars,,  certainly/'  re 
turned  I. 

"No/'  continued  he,  "it  contained  two  half- 
eagles,  sixteen  dollars  in  silver,  twelve  one-dollar 
bills,  and  a  subscription  paper,  which  the  owner 
offered  to  the  largest  subscriber  on  it  for  one 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars,  and  it  was  refused. 
It  is  but  right  to  observe,  however,  that  the  gen 
tleman  to  whom  the  offer  was  made  assured  the 
owner  that  it  was  as  good  as  gold." 

HALL. 


AN  INTERESTING  INTERVIEW 

I  HOPE  the  day  is  not  far  distant  when  drunk 
enness  will  be  unknown  in  our  highly  favored 
country.  The  moral  world  is  rising  in  its  strength 
against  the  all-destroying  vice,  and  though  the 
monster  still  struggles,  and  stings,  and  poisons 
with  deadly  effect  in  many  parts  of  our  wide 
spread  territory,  it  is  perceptibly  wounded  and 
weakened,  and  I  flatter  myself  if  I  should  live 
to  number  ten  years  more,  I  shall  see  it  driven 
entirely  from  the  higher  walks  of  life  at  least, 
if  not  from  all  grades  of  society.  For  the  honor 
of  my  contemporaries,,  I  would  register  none  of 
its  crimes  or  its  follies ;  but,  in  noticing  the  pe 
culiarities  of  the  age  in  which  I  live,  candor  con 
strains  me  to  give  this  vice  a  passing  notice. 
The  interview  which  I  am  about  to  present  to 
my  readers  exhibits  it  in  its  mildest  and  most 
harmless  forms. 

In  the  county  of  -  — ,  and  about  five  miles 
apart,  lived  old  Hardy  Slow  and  old  Tobias 
Swift.  They  were  both  industrious,  honest,  sen 
sible  farmers  when  sober,  but  they  never  visited 
their  county  town  without  getting  drunk,  and 
then  they  were — precisely  what  the  following 
narrative  makes  them. 


AN    INTERESTING    INTERVIEW  221 

They  both  happened  at  the  court-house  on  the 
same  day  when  I  last  saw  them  together  ;  the 
former  accompanied  by  his  wife,  and  the  latter 
by  his  youngest  son,  a  lad  about  thirteen.  To 
bias  was  just  clearly  on  the  wrong  side  of  the 
line  which  divides  drunk  from  sober,  but  Hardy 
was  "  royally  corned"  (but  not  falling)  when  they 
met,  about  an  hour  by  sun  in  the  afternoon,  near 
the  rack  at  which  both  their  horses  were  hitched. 

They  stopped  about  four  feet  apart,  and  looked 
each  other  full  in  the  face  for  about  half  a  min- 
nte,  during  all  which  time  Toby  sucked  his 
teeth,  winked,  and  made  signs  with  his  shoul 
ders  and  elbows  to  the  by-standers  that  he  knew 
Hardy  was  drunk,  and  was  going  to  quiz  him 
for  their  amusement.  In  the  meantime,  Hardy 
looked  at  Tobias  like  a  polite  man  dropping  to 
sleep,  in  spite  of  himself,  under  a  long,  dull 
story. 

At  length  Toby  broke  silence  : 

"How  goes  it, Uncle  Hardy  ?"  (winking  to  the 
company  and  shrugging  his  shoulders.} 

"Why,  Toby!  is  that  you  ?  Well — upon  my 
—why,  Toby!  Lord  —  help  —  my  —  soul  and  — 
Why,  Toby  !  what,  in,  the,  worP,  set,  you,  to, 
gitt'n,  drunk — this,  time  o'  day  ?  Swear,  poin'- 
blank,  you're  drunk  !  Why — you — must  be,  an 
old,  fool — to,  get,  drunk,  right,  before,  all  these, 
gentlemen — already,  Toby." 

"Well,  but,  now  you  see"  (winking),  "Uncle 
Hardy,  a  gill-cup  ain't  a  quart-pot,  nor  a  quart- 
pot  ain't  a  two-gallon  jug  ;  and  therefore  "  (wink 
ing  and  chuckling},  "Uncle  Hardy,  a  thing  is  a 


222 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


thing,  turn  it  which  way  you  will,  it  just  sticks 
at  what  it  was  before  you  give  it  first  ex— ex — 
ploit." 

"  Well,  the,  Lord,  help,  my-  Why,  Toby ! 
what,  is  the  reason,  you,  never,  will,  answer,  me 
this,  one  —  circumstance  —  and,  that,  is  —  I,  al 
ways,  find,  you,  drunk,  when,  I  come,  here  ?" 


HARDY   SLOW   AND   TOBIAS  SWIFT 

"  Well,  now,  but,  Uncle  Hardy,  you  always 
know  circumstances  alter  cases,  as  the  fellow 
said;  and  therefore,  if  one  circumstance  alters 
another  circumstance — how's  your  wife  and  chil 
dren  ?" 

"I,  swear,  poin'-blank,  I  shaVt  tell  you  — 
because,  you  r'ally,  is,  too  drunk,  to  know,  my 


AN    INTERESTING    INTERVIEW  223 

wife,  when,  you,  meet,  her,  in  the  street,  all, 
day,,  long,  and,  she'll,  tell,  you,  the,  very,  same, 
thing,  as,  all,  these,  gentlemen,  can — testimony." 

"  Well,  but  now  you  see,  Uncle  Hardy,  think 
ing's  one  thing  and  knowing's  another,  as  the 
fellow  said  ;  and  the  proof  o'  the  pudding's 
chawin'  the  bag,  as  the  fellow  said  ;  and  you 
see  —  toll  -  doll  -  diddle  -de  -  doll  -  doll  -  day  "  (sing 
ing  and  capering),  "you  think  I  can't  dance? 
Come,  Uncle  Hardy,  let's  dance." 

"  Why,  Toby  !  you— come— to  this  ?  /didn't 
make,  you,  drunk,  did  I?  You,  ain't,. took,  a 
drink,  with,  me,  this,  live,  long,  day — is  you  ?  I, 
say,  is  you,  Toby  ?" 

"No,  Uncle  Har— " 

"  Well,  then,  let's  go,  take  a  drink." 

"Well,  but  you  see,  Uncle  Hardy,  drinkin's 
drinkin' ;  but  that's  neither  here  nor  there,  as 
the  fellow  said. 

"  Come  "  (singing),  "all  ye  young  sparkers,  come,  listen 

to  me, 
And  I'll  sing  you  a  ditti  of  a  pretti  ladee." 

"  Why,  Toby  !  ha— ha— ha  !  Well,  I  r'ally,  did, 
think,  you,  was,  drunk,  but,  now  I  believe — blast 
the  flies  !  I  b'lieve,  they,  jest,  as  li'f  walk,  in  my, 
mouth,  as,  in,  my  nose."  (Then  looking  with  eyes 
half  closed  at  Toby  for  several  minutes),  "Why, 
Toby,  you,  spit  'bacco-spit,  all  over,  your  jacket 
— and,  that's  jist,  the  very,  way,  you,  got,  in  your 
-fix." 

At  this  moment  Mrs.  Slow  came  up,  and,  im 
mediately  after,  Swift's  son,  William. 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


"Come,"  said  the  good  lady,  ''old  man,  let's 
go  home  ;  it's  getting  late,  and  there's  a  cloud 
rising  ;  we'll  get  wet." 

"  Why,  Nancy  !  what  in  the  woiT  has  got  into 
yon  !  Is  yon  drunk,  too  ?  Well,  'pon,  my  word, 
and  honor,  I,  b'lieve,  everybody,  in  this  town,  is, 
got  drunk  to-day.  Why,  Nancy  !  I  never,  did, 
see,  you,  in,  that  fix,  before,  in,  all,  my,  live, 
long,  born,  days." 

"  Well,  never  mind,"  said  she  ;  "  come,  let's 
go  home.  Don't  you  see  the  rain  coming  up  ?" 

"  Well,  will,  it  rain,  upon,  my,  cornfield,  or  my 
cotton-patch  ?  Say,  Nancy,  which  one,  will  it, 
rain  on  ?  But,  Lord,  help,  my,  soul,  you  are,  too 
drunk,  to  tell  me,  any,  thing,  about  it.  Don't 
my  corn  want  rain,  Nancy  ?  Now,  jist,  tell  me, 
that  ?" 

"Yes  ;  but  let's  go  home." 

"  Then,  why,  upon,  the  face,  of  the  earth,  won't 
you,  let  it,  rain,  then  ?  I,  rather,  it,  should  rain, 
than  not." 

"  Come,  old  man,"  said  several  by-standers, 
touched  with  sympathy  for  the  good  lady,  "  come, 
get  on  your  horse  and  go  home,  and  we  will  help 
you." 

"  Oh  yes,  Uncle  Hardy,"  said  Tobias,  affecting 
to  throw  all  humor  aside  and  to  become  very 
sober  all  at  once,  "  go  home  with  the  old  woman. 
Come,  gentlemen,  let's  help  'em  on  their  horses 
—they're  groggy — mighty  groggy.  Come,  old 
man,  I'll  help  you"  (staggering  to  Hardy). 

"  Jist  look  at  daddy  now  !"  said  Billy  ;  "  he's 
going  to  help  Mr.  Swift,  and  he's  drunk  as  Mr. 


AN    INTERESTING    INTERVIEW  225 

Swift  is.  Oh,  daddy,  come,  let's  go  home,  or 
we'll  get  'mazin'  wet  I" 

Toby  stooped  down  to  help  Hardy  on  his  horse 
(before  the  horse  was  taken  from  the  rack),  and, 
throwing  his  arm  round  Hardy's  legs,  he  fell  back 
ward,  and  so  did  Hardy. 

"Why — Lord,  bless,  my  soul/'  said  Hardy,  "I 
b'lieve,  I'm  drunk,  too.  'What,  upon  the,  face, 
of  the  earth,  has  got,  into,  all,  of  us,  this  day  ?" 

"Why,  Uncle  Hardy,"  said  Toby,  "you"  pull 
us  both  down  together  !" 

"  The  old  man's  mighty  groggy,"  said  Toby  to 
me  in  a  half-whisper  and  with  an  arch  wink  and 
smile  as  he  rose  up  (I  happening  to  be  next  to 
him  at  the  moment).  "S'pose  we  help  him  up 
and  get  him  off.  The  old  woman's  in  for  it  too," 
continued  he,  winking,  nodding,  and  shrugging 
up  his  shoulders  very  significantly. 

"  Oh  no,"  said  I,  "the  old  woman  is  perfectly 
sober  ;  and  I  never  heard  of  her  tasting  a  drop 
in  all  my  life." 

"Oh,"  said  Toby,  assuming  the  gravity  of  a 
parson,  "  loves  it  mightily,  mightily  !  Monstrous 
woman  for  drinking  !  at  least,  that's  my  opin 
ion.  Monstrous  fine  woman  though  !  monstrous 
fine !" 

"  Oh,  daddy,  for  the  Lord's  sake,  let's  go 
home  ;  only  see  what  a  rain  is  coming  !"  said 
Billy. 

"  Daddy  '11  go  presently,  my  son." 

"  Well,  here's  your  horse  ;  git  up,  and  let's  go. 
Mammy  '11  be  sure  to  be  sendin'  for  us." 

"  Don't  mind  him,"  said  Toby,  winking  to  me ; 

15 


226  GEORGIA    SCEJSES 

"he's  nothing  but  a  boy  ;  I  wouldn't  take  no 
notice  of  what  he  said.  He  wants  me  "  (winking 
and  smiling}  "  to  go  home  with  him  ;  now  you 
listen." 

"Well,  come,"  said  I  to  Uncle  Toby,  "get  on 
yonr  horse  and  go  home  ;  a  very  heavy  rain  is 
coming  up." 

"  HI  go  presently  ;  but  you  just  listen  to  Bill," 
said  he  to  me,  winking  and  smiling. 

"  Oh,  daddy,  for  the  Lord's  sake  let's  go 
home  !" 

Toby  smiled  archly  at  me,  and  winked. 

"  Daddy,  are  you  going  home  or  not  ?  Jist 
look  at  the  rain  cominV 

Toby  smiled  and  winked. 

"  Well,  I  do  think  a  drunken  man  is  the  big 
gest  fool  in  the  country,"  said  Bill,  "  I  don't 
care  who  he  is." 

"  Bill !"  said  the  old  man,  very  sternly,  "  '  hon 
or  thy  father  and  mother/  that — that  the  wom 
an's  seed  may  bruise  the  serpent's  head." 

"  Well,  daddy,  tell  me  if  you  won't  go  home  ! 
You  see  it's  going  to  rain  powerful.  If  you 
won't  go,  may  I  go  ?" 

"Bill !  '  Leave  not  thy  father  who  begat  thee  j 
for  thou  art  my  beloved  son,  Esau,  in  whom  I 
am  well  pleased/'' 

"Why,  daddy,  it's  dropping  rain  now." 

Here  Bill  was  relieved  from  his  anxiety  by  the 
appearance  of  Aaron,  a  trusty  servant,  whom 
Mrs.  Slow  had  despatched  for  his  master,  to 
whose  care  Bill  committed  him,  and  was  soon 
out  of  sight. 


AN    INTERESTING    INTERVIEW  227 

Aaron's  custom  had  long  been  to  pick  up  his 
master  without  ceremony,-put  him  on  his  horse, 
and  bear  him  away.  So  used  to  this  dealing  had 
Toby  been  that,  when  he  saw  Aaron,  he  surren 
dered  at  discretion,  and  was  soon  on  the  road. 
But  as  the  rain  descended  in  torrents  before 
even  Bill  could  have  proceeded  half  a  mile,  the 
whole  of  them  must  have  been  drenched  to  the 
skin. 

As  to  Hardy,  whom  in  the  proper  order  we 
ought  to  have  disposed  of  first,  he  was  put  on 
his  horse  by  main  force,  and  was  led  off  by  his 
wife,  to  whom  he  was  muttering,  as  far  as  I 
could  hear  him,  "  Why,  Nancy  !  how,  did,  you, 
get,  in,  such  a  fix  ?  You'll,  fall,  off,  your, 
horse,  sure,  as  you're  born,  and  I'll  have  to  put 
you  up  again."  As  they  were  constrained  to  go 
on  a  walk,  they  too  must  have  got  wringing  wet, 
though  they  had  a  quarter  of  an  hour  the  start 
of  Toby. 

HALL. 


THE    FOX-HUNT 

I  HAD  often  read  of  the  fox-chase  and  its  soul- 
enlivening  pleasures  before  I  was  permitted  to 
enjoy  them,  and,  had  my  reading  upon  this  head 
been  confined  to  Somerville's  Chase  alone,  I 
should  have  been  inspired  with  an  irrepressible 
curiosity  to  experience  its  thrilling  enjoyments. 
Listen  how  he  sanctifies  the  sport,  and  mingles 
with  it  all  that  is  gay  and  spirit-stirring  : 

"But  yet,  alas  !  the  wily  fox  remain'd 
A  subtle,  pilfering  foe,  prowling  around 
In  midnight  shades,  and  wakeful  to  destroy. 
In  the  full  fold,  the  poor  defenceless  lamb, 
Seized  by  his  guileful  arts,  with  sweet  warm  blood 
Supplies  a  rich  repast.     The  mournful  ewe, 
Her  dearest  treasure  lost  through  the  dim  night, 
Wanders  perplex'd,  and  darkling  bleats  in  vain, 
While  in  th'  adjacent  bush  poor  Philomel 
(Herself  a  parent  once,  till  wanton  churls 
Despoil'd  her  nest)  joins  in  her  loud  laments, 
With  sweeter  notes  and  more  melodious  woe. 

For  these  nocturnal  thieves,  huntsmen  prepare 
The  sharpest  vengeance.     Oh  !  how  glorious  'tis 
To  right  th'  oppress'd,  and  bring  the  felon  vile 
To  just  disgrace  !     Ere  yet  the  morning  peep, 
Or  stars  retire  from  the  first  blush  of  day, 
With  thy  far-echoing  voice  alarm  thy  pack 
And  rouse  Nthy  bold  compeers.     Then  to  the  copse, 
Thick  with  entangled  grass  and  prickly  furze, 


THE  FOX-HUNT  229 

With  silence  lead  thy  many-color'd  hounds, 

In  all  their  beauty's  pride.     See  !  how  they  range 

Dispersed,  how  busily  this  way  and  that 

They  cross,  examining  with  curious  nose 

Each  likely  haunt.     Hark  !  on  the  drag  I  hear 

Their  doubtful  notes,  preluding  to  the  cry 

More  nobly  full,  and  swell'd  with  every  mouth. 

******* 
Heavens  !  what  melodious  strains  !  how  beat  our  hearts 
Big  with  tumultuous  joy  !  the  loaded  gales 
Breathe  harmony;  and  as  the  tempest  drives 
From  wood  to  wood,  through  every  dark  recess, 
The  forest  thunders  and  the  mountains  shake 

******* 

He  breaks  away. 

Shrill  horns  proclaim  his  flight.     Each  straggling  hound 
Strains  o'er  the  lawn  to  reach  the  distant  pack  : 
'Tis  triumph  all  and  joy.     Now,  my  brave  youths, 
Now  give  a  loose  to  the  clean,  generous  steed; 
Flourish  the  whip,  nor  spare  the  galling  spur; 
But  in  the  madness  of  delight  forget 
Your  fears.     For  o'er  the  rocky  hills  we  range, 
And  dangerous  our  course  ;  but  in  the  brave 
True  courage  never  fails.     In  vain  the  stream 
In  foamfng  eddies  whirls  ;    in  vain  the  ditch 
Wide-gaping  threatens  death.     The  craggy  steep, 
Where  the  poor  dizzy  shepherd  crawls  with  care, 
And  clings  to  every  twig,  gives  us  no  pain  ; 
But  down  we  sweep,  as  stoops  the  falcon  bold 
To  pounce  his  prey."    *    *    * 

Filled  with  such  ideas  as  these  lines  are  cal 
culated  to  inspire  (and  long  as  is  the  extract,  it 
does  but  half  justice  to  the  poet,  whatever  we 
may  think  of  his  subject),  it  was  with  kindling 
enthusiasm  that  I  met  the  question  from  my  old 
friend  Dause  on  a  clear,  chill  December  even 
ing. 


230  GEORGIA   SCENES 

"Will  yon  not  join  us  in  a  fox-chase  to-mor 
row  ?" 

"That  I  will,"  replied  I,  "  with  pleasure." 

"Have  you  ever  been  in  a  fox-chase?"  con 
tinued  he. 

"Never/7  said  I;  "but  I  have  no  doubt  but 
that  I  should  be  delighted  with  it." 

"  Oh,  it's  the  finest  sport  in  the  world,  with  a 
full  pack  !  and  we  shall  have  a  splendid  pack  to 
morrow.  Major  Crocket  is  coming  in  with  his 
hounds,  and  George  Hurt  is  to  bring  in  his,  and 
all  unite  with  Captain  Reid's  here  ;  and  we  shall 
have  a  pack  of  twenty-two  or  three.  We  shall 
have  glorious  sport ;  you  must  not  fail  to  join 
us." 

"No  fear  of  that/'  said  I;  "I  shall  be  among 
the  first  on  the  ground." 

I  went  home  (no  matter  where),  and  hastened 
to  bed  at  an  earlier  hour  than  usual,  that  I  might 
be  the  surer  to  rise  betimes  in  the  morning. 
But  so  bright  was  the  anticipation  of  the  com 
ing  joys  that  it  was  long  before  I  could  compose 
myself  to  sleep ;  and  when  I  did,  it  was  rather 
the  semi-sleep  of  vigilance  than  the  sound  sleep 
of  rest.  It  was  sufficient,  however,  to  beguile 
the  intervening  hours ;  and  they  seemed  but 
few  before  the  long-drawn  notes  of  Crocket's 
horn  roused  me  from  my  slumbers.  I  sprang 
from  my  bed,  and,  without  waiting  to  throw 
over  me  a  stitch  of  clothing  (though  the  weather 
was  extremely  cold),  I  seized  my  ram's -horn, 
hoisted  a  window,  and  blew  a  blast  which,  if  it 
had  had  fair  play,  would  have  waked  every 


THE    FOX-HUNT  231 

hound  within  five  miles  round.  But  it  had  not 
fair  play ;  for,  partly  from  hurry,  and  partly 
from  my  indisposition  to  thrust  my  exposed 
body  into  the  open  air,  I  just  gave  the  mouth  of 
my  horn  projection  enough  to  throw  half  its  voice 
out  and  half  inside  the  house.  The  first  half 
did  no  great  things ;  but  the  last  half  did  won 
ders.  Bursting  upon  the  unsuspecting  family  at 
that  still  hour,  it  created  a  sensation  which  no 
one  can  understand  who  was  not  at  the  falling 
of  the  walls  of  Jericho.  The  house  trembled, 
the  glasses  rattled,  the  women  started,  and  the 
children  screamed. 

"  What's  that  ?"  exclaimed  the  mistress  of  the 
household. 

"Mr.  Hall  is  going  a  fox-hunting,"  said  her 
husband. 

"Well,  I  wish  he'd  blow  for  his  foxes  out  of 
the  house.  I  can't  see  what  any  man  of  common- 
sense  wants  to  be  gitting  up  this  time  of  night 
for,  in  such  cold  weather,  just  to  hear  dogs  run 
a  fox." 

It  struck  me  there  was  a  good  deal  of  sound 
philosophy  in  the  good  lady's  remarks  ;  but  she 
was  a  woman,  and  she  had  never  read  Somer- 
ville. 

I  dressed  myself,  walked  out,  waked  my  ser 
vant,  and  ordered  my  horse.  Truly  it  was  a 
lovely  morning  for  the  season  of  the  year  ;  De 
cember  never  ushered  in  one  more  lovely.  Like 
a  sheet  of  snow  the  frost  overspread  the  earth. 
Not  a  breath  was  stirring.  The  coming  hunts 
man  had  sounded  his  horn  upon  a  distant  hill, 


232  GEORGIA    SCENES 

and  its  unrepeated  notes  had  died  away.  A 
cloudless  sky  overspread  the  earth,  as  rich  in 
beauty  as  ever  won  the  gaze  of  mortal.  Upon 
the  western  verge,  in  all  his  martial  glory,  stood 
Orion,  his  burnished  epaulets  and  spangled  sash 
with  unusual  brightness  glowing.  Capella  glit 
tered  brighter  still,  and  Castor,  Procyon,  and 
Arcturus  rivalled  her  in  lustre.  But  Sirius 
reigned  the  monarch  of  the  starry  host ;  and 
countless  myriads  of  lesser  lights  glowed,  and 
sparkled,  and  twinkled  o'er  all  the  wide-spread 
canopy. 

"Oh  !"  exclaimed  I,  "how  rich,  how  beauti 
ful,  how  glorious  the  firmament  !  See  !  yonder 
is  Bootes  in  the  chase!  His  Chara  and  Asterion 
drive  on  the  lusty  Bear  !  Who  shall  condemn 
the  chase,  when  its  pleasures  are  written  in 
characters  of  deathless  fire  upon  the  face  of  the 
heavens  ?" 

I  was  lost  in  admiration  of  the  splendors  which 
surrounded  me,  when  another  sound  of  the  ma 
jor's  horn  informed  me  that  he  was  upon  the 
confines  of  the  village  ;  and  at  the  same  instant 
my  servant  announced  that  my  horse  was  in 
waiting.  As  I  approached  him  for  the  purpose 
of  mounting, 

"  Master/'  said  he,  "  you  gwine  fox-huntin'  on 
da  hoss  ?" 

"Yes/'  said  I,  promptly  :   "  why  ?" 

"Eh-eh,"  rejoined  he,  with  a  titter. 

"  Why,  what  is  it  amuses  you  so,  Isaac  ?" 

"  B'ess  de  Lord  !  Smooth-tooth  waVt  never 
made  for  fox-huntin',  I  know.  He  too  lazy,  b'ess 


THE    POX-HUNT  2dd 

de  Lord.  Time  de  houir  give  one  squall,  dey 
done  leif  Smooth -tooth  clean  outen  sight  an' 
hearinV 

"  Oh,  I  presume  not,  Isaac/'  said  I.  "I  shall 
not  attempt  to  keep  up  with  the  hounds.  I  shall 
just  keep  in  full  hearing  of  them  by  cutting 
across  and  heading  them." 

<<rEh-eh  !  Fox  run  twice  round  a  field  'fore 
Smooth-tooth  cut  across  him,  I  know  :  b'ess  de 
Lord  !" 

One  Avould  suppose  that  Isaac's  hint  would 
have  reminded  me  to  take  a  whip  or  spur,  or 
both,  along  with  me  ;  but  it  did  not. 

Crocket's  horn  was  answered  by  several  from 
the  neighboring  hills  ;  and,  before  I  had  proceed 
ed  the  eighth  of  a  mile  towards  the  point  of 
rendezvous,  a  loud  chorus  of  horns  and  beagles 
announced  that  all  were  assembled  but  myself. 
I  raised  my  ram's-horn  and  blew  a  more  propi 
tious  blast  than  my  first,  in  token  that  I  was  on 
my  way.  My  horse,  as  the  reader  has  perhaps 
conjectured  from  the  colloquy  just  repeated, 
was  not  Somerville's  "  clean,  generous  steed"; 
but  he  was  a  horse  of  uncommon  gravity  and  cir 
cumspection.  I  gave  him  the  name  of  Smooth- 
tooth  simply  because,  when  he  became  my  prop 
erty,  the  faces  of  his  teeth  were  generally  worn 
smooth.  Though  he  was  kind  and  accomodat- 
ing  enough  in  all  matters  of  business,  he  had  an 
utter  aversion  to  everything  like  levity,  and  to 
all  rambles  which  seemed  to  have  no  definite  ob 
ject.  Age  had  done  much,  doubtless,  in  sober 
ing  Smooth-tooth's  temper  ;  but  infirmity  had 


234  GEORGIA    SCENES 

conspired  with  age  to  produce  this  effect,  for 
he  was  most  lamentably  deaf  ;  so  that  the  com 
mon  remark  of  our  State  in  relation  to  aged 
horses,  "he  has  heard  it  thunder  too  often/' 
would  by  no  means  have  applied  to  Smooth- 
tooth  ;  for,  to  my  certain  knowledge,  he  had  not 
heard  it  thunder  for  five  years  at  least. 

I  bent  my  course  towards  the  village,  and  as 
Smooth-tooth  was  wholly  unconscious  of  the  up 
roar  there,  he  set  out,  as  usual,  upon  a  gentle 
pace.  By  a  diligent  application  of  heels,  I  sig 
nified  to  him  that  I  looked  for  something  more 
sprightly  upon  this  occasion.  Smooth -tooth 
took  the  hint,  and  mended  his  pace;  but  I  in 
formed  him,  as  before,  that  this  would  not  do. 
He  then  paced  brisker  still ;  but  this  did  not 
abate  my  rigor.  He  then  paced  to  the  top  of 
his  speed,  and  finding  me  still  unsatisfied,  he 
struck,  most  reluctantly,  into  a  lazy  canter. 
This  reduced  my  beats  from  triple  to  common 
time,  but  did  not  bring  them  to  a  full  pause.  At 
the  end  of  five  long,  awkward,  reluctant  lopes, 
Smooth-tooth  stopped  with  a  demi- semiquaver 
rest,  and  wheeled  at  the  same  instant  to  go  home, 
in  utter  disgust ;  for  he  seemed  now  to  have  satis 
fied  himself  that  I  had  taken  leave  of  my  senses, 
and  that  it  was  high  time  for  him  to  "throw  him 
self  upon  his  reserved  rights."  As  I  always  enter 
tained  a  high  respect  for  these,  I  accommodated 
myself  to  his  views,  after  having  discovered  that 
he  was  not  to  deforced  out  of  them.  There  was, 
however,  some  policy  mixed  with  my  clemency  ; 
for,  slowly  as  Smooth-tooth  moved  in  his  master 


THE    FOX-HUNT  235 

effort,  he  waked  up  an  artificial  breeze,  which 
seemed  to  search  the  very  cavities  of  my  bones, 
and  which  already  produced  some  unacknowl 
edged  yearnings  for  the  comfortable  bed  which  I 
had  deserted. 

When  I  reached  the  village  I  found  all  the 
huntsmen  collected  ;  and  after  a  little  delay,  oc 
casioned  by  a  dog-fight,  or,  rather,  a  fight  of  one 
dog  against  all  the  rest  (for  hounds,  like  the  wily 
politicians  of  the  present  day,  all  jump  on  the 
undermost),  we  moved  forward  to  the  hunting- 
ground.  This  lay  three  miles  from  the  village  ; 
and,  could  anything  have  enlivened  the  jaunt, 
my  company  would,  for  it  consisted  of  a  merry 
group  of  every  variety  of  disposition.  But  a 
freezing  man  cannot  be  lively,  and,  consequently, 
I  was  not. 

Our  pack  consisted  of  eighteen  or  twenty 
hounds  ;  but  there  were  but  two  of  them  which 
could  be  relied  on  with  confidence  —  George 
Hurt's  Louder  and  Captain  Reid's  Rome.  With 
these  I  was  well  acquainted,  having  often  been 
with  them  in  the  deer  and  rabbit  hunt.  Could 
I  say,  like  Horace,  "  exigi  monumentum  cere  pe- 
rennius,"  they  should  be  immortalized  ;  for  bet 
ter  dogs  never  mingled  in  the  chase.  They  knew 
perfectly  well,  from  the  hour  of  the  hunt  and  the 
equipments  of  the  huntsmen,  the  game  of  which 
they  were  in  pursuit ;  and  no  other  would  they 
notice. 

Captain  Reid's  Music  was  said  to  be  remarka 
bly  "cold,"  but  her  veracity  was  questionable. 
Her  ambition  never  aimed  at  anything  higher 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


than  finding  the  trade  for  fleeter-footed  hounds. 
When  the  game  was  up,  she  soon  "  knocked  out/' 
and  went  in  quest  of  cold  trails  ;  why  or  where 
fore  no  one  could  tell,  unless  it  was  that  she  had 
the  common  fault  of  those  who  possess  peculiar 
accomplishments.  Her  habit  was  to  get  a  trail, 
and,  if  she  could  not  lead  off  on  it  readily,  to 
"open"  by  the  half-hour  upon  so  much  of  it  as 
lay  within  the  compass  of  three  rods  square. 

We  had  proceeded  about  two  miles  on  our 
way,  when,  in  a  washed  field  to  our  right,  Music 
opened. 

"What  dog's  that?"  inquired  several  voices 
at  once. 

"It's  Music,"  said  the  captain.  "She's  the 
coldest  hound  in  the  pack." 

The  majority  were  for  moving  on,  regardless 
of  Music's  cry  ;  but,  in  courtesy  to  the  captain, 
who  had  more  confidence  in  her  than  the  rest  of 
us,  we  agreed  "to  wait  on  her  a  little." 

"  Speak  to  him,  Music  !"  said  the  captain. 

Music  opened  again. 

"Try  for  him,  Music!" 

Music  opened  again. 

"Let's  go  to  her,"  said  the  captain  ;  "there's 
not  much  confidence  to  be  placed  in  her,  but  it 
may  be  a  fox." 

We  went,  and  as  soon  as  Music  saw  us  she 
seemed  highly  delighted  at  our  attentions,  ran 
into  a  little  gully,  put  her  nose  to  the  ground, 
seemed  in  doubt,  rooted  in  the  dirt  a  little  way ; 
then  raised  her  head,  paused  a  second,  and  trot 
ted  round  a  circle  of  ten  yards'  circumference, 


THE    FOX-HUNT  237 

opening  all  the  time  as  if  the  whole  horizon  were 
lined  with  foxes — that  is,  as  though  there  were 
an  abundance  of  foxes  about,  but  they  were  a 
long  way  off. 

"  Try  for  him  again,  Music  !"  said  the  captain. 
Music  fidgeted  about  with  great  animation,  shook 
her  tail  spiritedly,  and,  after  taking  a  sweep  of 
sixty  feet,  returned  to  the  gully  and  did  as  before. 

"  I'm  afraid  it's  too  cold/'  said  the  captain. 

"  Oh  no,"  said  Colonel  Peyton,  waggishly, 
"let's  wait  on  her.  'Bundance  o'  foxes  in  that 
gully  ;  only  give  Music  time,  and  she'll  fill  it  full 
o'  dead  foxes  before  sunrise." 

"I  reckon,"  said  Stewart  Andrews,  in  a  long, 
drawling,  dry  way,  "that  Music  has  got  upon  a 
'  Miss  Mary  Ann '  that  went  along  there  last 
winter." 

The  reader  must  here  be  informed  that  when 
I  went  into  the  neighborhood  of  which  I  have 
been  speaking  the  common  appellation  of  the 
rabbit  was  "  Molly  Cotton-tail,"  as  it  still  is  else 
where  in  Georgia ;  but  as  I  thought  this  inele 
gant,  if  not  vulgar,  I  prevailed  upon  my  fellow- 
huntsmen  to  exchange  it  for  a  more  classic  term, 
which  would  preserve  the  sense,  without  offend 
ing  the  most  squeamish  delicacy.  At  my  sugges 
tion,  therefore,  it  was  called  the  "Mary  Cotton 
tail,"  and  afterwards,  by  further  refinement, 
"Miss  Mary  Ann  Cotton-tail."  But  to  return. 

We  were  just  about  taking  leave  of  Music, 
when  a  young,  awkward,  overgrown  hound  trot 
ted  up  to  her  assistance.  He  arrived  just  as  Mu 
sic  had  paid  a  third  visit  to  the  track  in  the 


238  GEORGIA    SCENES 

gully,,  and  as  soon  as  she  left  it  he  put  his  nose 
to  the  spot,  snuffed  a  little,  and  then  raised  one 
foot,  and  with  it  kindly  scratched  out  the  tan 
talizing  track.  While  I  sat  "waiting  upon" 
Miss  Music  my  freezing  limbs  forced  me  into 
this  train  of  reflection  :  "  How  could  I  have  so 
far  taken  leave  of  my  senses  as  to  promise  myself 
any  pleasure  from  such  a  jaunt  as  this  !  It  is  ex 
tremely  doubtful  whether  we  shall  start  a  fox  ; 
and  if  we  should,  what  are  the  cries  of  twenty 
hounds  to  three  or  four  hours' exposure,  without 
even  an  overcoat,  upon  such  a  piercing  morning 
as  this  ?  And  wherein  will  the  cry  differ  from 
that  of  the  same  pack  in  pursuit  of  a  rabbit  on  a 
fine,  sunny  day  ?  And  why  seek  amusement  in 
the  torture  of  a  poor,  unoffending  animal  ?  In 
this  country,  at  least,  I  never  heard  of  a  single 
loss  from  a  farm-yard  which  could  be  fairly  traced 
to  the  fox  ;  not  even  of  a  goose,  much  less  of  a 
lamb.  My  rest  broken,  my  health  jeoparded,  and 
my  immediate  suffering  excruciating  !  Folly  ! 
madness  in  the  extreme  I" 

We  had  not  proceeded  far  before  groups  of 
from  two  to  five  hounds  could  be  heard  in  all 
directions  in  pursuit  of  Miss  Mary  Anns. 
Hitherto  my  hopes  had  been  buoyed  up  by  the 
number  of  hounds  ;  for  I  naturally  concluded 
that  our  chances  of  success  increased  with  their 
number  ;  but  now  I  plainly  saw  that  our  only 
hope  was  upon  Rome  and  Louder,  for  all  the 
others  had  resigned  themselves  unreservedly  to 
Mary  Anns. 

We  were  moving  on  upon  a  skirt  of  woods,  en- 


THE    FOX-HUNT  239 

tirely  surrounded  by  fields,  when,  from  the  op 
posite  side  of  it  the  well  -  known  voice  of  the 
deep  -  mouthed  Louder  fell  joyously  upon  our 
ears.  "  Hark  !"  cried  all  of  us  at  once.  In  an 
instant  the  clear,  shrill  note  of  Rome  confirmed 
his  companion's  report ;  for  they  always  hunted 
together,  and  each  obeyed  the  call  of  the  other 
in  a  moment.  Then  both  together,  then  alter 
nately  in  quick  succession,  they  repeated  their  as 
surances.  In  an  instant  all  the  various  groups 
of  hounds  of  which  we  were  speaking  were 
hushed,  and  from  every  direction  they  could  be 
seen  dashing  to  the  two  favorites.  Such  is  the 
force  of  truth  even  with  dumb  brutes. 

A  loud  scream  of  exultation  and  encourage 
ment  broke  involuntarily  from  all  the  huntsmen 
(not  excepting  myself),  and  each  dashed  for  the 
hounds  as  the  impulse  of  the  moment  urged  him 
on.  Some  skirted  the  forest  in  one  way,  some  in 
another;  but  Crocket  plunged  directly  through 
it  at  half-speed — how,  Heaven  only  knows!  but  I 
had  hardly  missed  him  before  I  heard  him  en 
couraging  the  dogs  in  his  presence.  I  took  a 
moment  for  reflection,  which,  of  course,  I  was 
permitted  to  enjoy  alone.  My  conclusion  was, 
that  if  Crocket  could  gallop  through  the  wood 
with  safety,  I  certainly  could  pace  through  it  with 
out  injury;  and  as  this  was  much  the  nearest  way, 
I  determined  to  attempt  it.  My  resolves  were 
no  sooner  formed  than  they  were  communicated 
to  Smooth-tooth,  who  entered  the  wood  with  his 
accustomed  prudence  and  circumspection. 

The  first  streaks  of  day  had  now  appeared ; 


240  GEORGIA    SCENES 

but  they  were  entirely  useless  to  me  after  I  had 
entered  the  forest.  I  had  proceeded  about  sixty 
paces,  when  a  limb  of  some  kind  (I  know  not 
what)  fetched  me  a  wipe  across  the  face  that  set 
the  principles  of  philosophy  at  defiance  ;  for  it 
was  certainly  four  times  as  severe  as  Smooth- 
tooth's  momentum  would  have  justified  upon 
any  known  law  of  projectiles ;  at  least  it  seemed 
so  to  me  ;  for  it  came  like  a  flash  of  lightning 
over  the  icing  of  my  face,  giving  me,  for  the 
first  time  in  my  life,  a  sensible  idea  of  the 
Georgia  expression  "feeling  streaked";  for  my 
face  actually  felt  as  though  it  were  covered  with 
streaks  of  fire  and  streaks  of  ice. 

Twenty  paces  more  had  like  to  have  wound  up 
my  hunt  with  the  felon's  death  ;  for  as  I  was 
moving  on  with  all  due  caution  and  sobriety,  a 
little,  supple,  infrangible  grape-vine,  attached 
to  two  slim,  elastic  saplings,  between  which  I 
passed,  threw  one  of  its  festoons  gracefully 
around  my  neck,  and  politely  informed  me  that 
I  must  stop  or  be  hanged.  I  communicated  this 
intelligence  to  Smooth-tooth  without  loss  of 
time  ;  and  as  stopping  was  his  delight,  he,  of 
course,  obeyed  the  mandate  as  quickly  as  he 
could.  Prompt  as  was  his  obedience,  it  was 
too  slow  for  the  petulant  little  grape-vine  ;  for, 
though  it  consented  to  spare  my  life,  it  dis 
missed  me  with  most  ungentlemanly  rudeness. 
It  just  took  my  profile  from  my  neck  upward, 
passing  over  all  the  turns  and  angles  of  my  face 
with  a  rigor  that  Socrates  himself  could  not 
have  borne  with  patience.  It  returned  from  its 


242  GEORGIA  SCENES 

delineation  like  a  bowstring,  sending  my  hat 
aloft,,  I  know  not  how  high  ;  but,  judging  from 
the  time  which  intervened  between  its  depart 
ure  from  my  head  and  its  report  on  the  ground, 
I  should  say  nearly  to  the  height  of  the  wedded 
saplings.  Never  but  once  before  had  I  such  a 
lively  sense  of  the  value  of  a  hat  in  cold  weather 
as  I  now  had.  The  chills  ran  from  my  head  to 
my  toes  like  ague-fits  ;  and  these  I  had  to  bear 
for  the  space  of  a  minute  or  two  before  I  could 
feel  out  my  hat.  At  last  I  recovered  it  and 
remounted.  "  How  was  it  possible,"  exclaimed 
I,  "  for  Crocket  to  get  through  this  wood  at  half- 
speed  !  It  must  be  true  that  'fortuna  f civet 
fortibus,'  and  Fll  e'en  risk  a  little  upon  the 
strength  of  the  maxim."  Switches  were  con 
venient,  as  my  misfortunes  have  proved  ;  and, 
having  supplied  myself  with  one,  I  drew  my 
hat  over  my  eyes,  brought  my  head  down  close 
to  Smooth  -  tooth's  withers,  hugged  him  tight 
with  my  legs,  and  put  whip  to  him  manfully. 
Smooth-tooth  now  felt  his  dignity  assailed,  and 
he  put  off  at  a  respectable  fox-hunting  gait. 
This  soon  brought  me  to  the  edge  of  the  old 
field,  with  no  other  accident  than  a  smart  blow 
from  a  sapling  upon  my  right  knee,  which, 
though  it  nearly  unhorsed  me,  did  me  no  serious 
injury. 

Here  I  found  all  my  companions  reassembled. 
While  the  drag  lay  within  the  frost-covered  field, 
the  dogs  carried  it  briskly  ;  but,  as  soon  as  it  en 
tered  the  wood,  they  were  at  fault.  In  this  situa 
tion  they  were  when  I  joined  the  huntsmen.  It 


THE    FOX-HUNT  243 

was  long  before  we  had  any  encouragement  to  hope 
that  they  would  ever  take  it  beyond  the  margin 
of  the  field  ;  occasionally,  however,  and  at  pain 
ful  intervals,  the  two  favorites  would  bid  us  not 
to  despair.  Crocket  and  three  or  four  of  the 
party  remained  with  and  encouraged  the  hounds  ; 
while  Andrews,  Harden,  and  myself  adjourned 
to  a  narrow  lane  to  enjoy  the  comforts  of  the 
risen  sun.  The  sluggish  trail  allowed  us  an 
hour's  basking,  which  so  far  relaxed  my  rigid 
members  as  to  prepare  me  for  enjoying  Marden's 
amusing  stories  and  Stewart's  dry  humor.  While 
we  were  thus  engaged,  and  after  we  had  relin 
quished  all  hope  of  a  chase,  for  that  morning  at 
least,  the  notes  of  the  two  favorites  became  more 
and  more  frequent.  Soon  a  third  and  fourth 
voice  joined  them,  and  the  chorus  swelled  and 
varied  with  every  second,  until  eight  in  the 
morning,  when  the  whole  pack  broke  in  full  cry. 
Reynard  was  up,  and  twenty  foes  in  hot  pursuit. 
How  or  why  I  am  unable  to  tell,  but  truth 
constrains  me  to  say  that  for  some  moments  I 
was  enraptured  with  the  sport.  The  fox  ob 
liqued  towards  us,  and  entered  a  field  of  which 
our  position  commanded  a  full  view.  He  must 
have  left  his  covert  with  reluctance,  for  he  was 
not  more  than  a  hundred  paces  ahead  of  the 
hounds  when  he  entered  the  field.  First  of  the 
pack,  and  side  by  side,  the  heroes  of  the  clamor 
ous  band  rose  the  fence.  Then  followed,  in 
thick  array,  the  whole  troop  ;  and  close  on  their 
rear,  Crocket  burst  through  the  copse  wood  and 
charged  the  fence  without  a  pause.  Around  me, 


244  GEORGIA    SCENES 

in  every  direction  I  could  see  the  huntsmen 
sweeping  to  the  choir  ;  and  as,  emerging  from 
the  forests  or  gaining  the  heights  around,  they 
caught  the  first  glimpse  of  the  gallant  pack 
they  raised  a  shout  which  none  but  the  over 
charged  heart  can  give  and  none  but  the  life 
less  heart  receive  unmoved.  I  was  soon  desert 
ed  as  before ;  but,  partly  from  the  inspiration 
of  my  recent  experiment,  I  plied  Smooth-tooth 
with  the  whip  most  astonishingly,  and  put  off  in 
pursuit  of  the  hounds  in  handsome  style,  via  the 
lane,  which  happened  to  have  exactly  the  curva 
ture  which  I  desired. 

The  fox  had  hardly  left  the  field  through  which 
my  eye  followed  him  before,  all  of  a  sudden,  the 
voice  of  every  hound  hushed.  They  were  com 
pletely  at  fault ;  and  thus  I  found  them  when  I 
once  more  joined  my  company.  They  "  knocked 
out,"  as  the  saying  is,  near  to  the  corner  of 
Squire  Snibby's  field,  which  lay  contiguous  to 
the  first  which  they  entered.  Dogs  and  men 
here  toiled  assiduously  to  take  the  trail  away, 
but  in  vain.  At  length  Crocket  suspected  Rey 
nard  of  a  trick  ;  he  conjectured  that  the  cun 
ning  rogue  had  ascended  the  squire's  fence,  and 
followed  it  some  distance  before  he  alighted. 
And  so  it  proved  to  be ;  for,  taking  some  of  the 
dogs  with  him  along  the  fence  side,  Crocket  in 
troduced  them  again  to  the  trail,  at  the  distance 
of  full  three  hundred  yards  from  the  point  at 
which  they  lost  it.  The  cry  was  now  renewed 
Avith  all  its  former  spirit.  The  fox,  huntsmen, 
and  hounds  took  to  the  right ;  but,  as  fields  lay 


THE    FOX-HUNT  245 

in  that  direction,  I  concluded  that  he  would 
soon  turn  and  follow  the  belt  of  woodland  in  the 
opposite  direction  ;  I  therefore  took  to  the  left 
by  a  pretty  little  path  which  might  possibly  have 
exerted  some  influence  upon  my  determination. 
I  had  not  proceeded  far  before  I  encountered  a 
large  log  lying  directly  across  my  path.  Here  I 
resolved  to  experiment  a  little,  unobserved,  upon 
Smooth-tooth's  agility.  "  If,"  said  I,  "  he  clears 
that  log  in  handsome  style,  Fll  charge  the  first 
(low)  fence  that  intercepts  my  pursuit."  Ac 
cordingly,  I  put  whip  and  heels  to  Smooth-tooth, 
who  neared  it  elegantly,  but  as  soon  as  he  came 
within  jumping  distance  he  stopped,  with  a  sud 
denness  and  self-composure  which  plainly  signi 
fied  that  he  expected  me  to  let  it  down  for  him. 
The  consequence  was  that  I  was  very  near  being 
laid  across  the  log  for  my  pains.  I  now  became 
testy,  and  resolved  that,  as  he  would  not  "  run 
and  jump"  it,  he  should  " stand  and  jump"  it. 
I  therefore  brought  him  up  to  it,  and  commenced 
the  old  discipline.  After  proposing  to  go  round 
it  either  way  without  my  approbation,  he  at 
length  raised  his  fore  feet  and  threw  them  lazily 
over  the  log,  coming  down  upon  them  as  the 
white  bear  does  in  breaking  ice,  and  stopped 
right  astride  of  the  log.  I  was  now  prompted 
by  curiosity  to  see,  if  left  to  himself,  whether 
he  would  stand  there  or  go  on,  and,  strange  as  it 
may  seem,  his  own  free-will  led  him  to  neither 
alternative ;  for  he  was  in  the  very  act  of  draw 
ing  his  fore  feet  back  with  a  kind  of  fall-down 
motion  when  I  gave  him  the  whip  and  forced 


246  GEORGIA    SCENES 

him  to  drag,  rather  than  lift,  his  hind  feet 
over. 

This  feat  performed,  I  moved  on  about  two 
hundred  yards,  when,  as  I  had  anticipated,  I 
heard  the  hounds  coming  directly  towards  me. 
I  stopped,  and  in  a  minute's  time  Eeynard 
crossed  the  path  within  thirty  steps  of  me.  Then 
came  the  dogs  in  the  order  in  which  they  en 
tered  the  field,  and  hard  upon  them  came  Crocket 
upon  his  foaming  steed. 

"  Did  you  see  him  ?"  exclaimed  he,  finding 
me  near  the  trail. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "distinctly." 

"  How  was  his  tail  ?" 

"  I  didn't  notice  particularly,  but  sticking  to 
him,  I  believe." 

"  Oh,  nonsense  !"  said  Crocket ;  "  was  his 
brush  up  or  down  ?" 

"  Neither,"  said  I ;  "  he  brushed  right  across." 

Here  the  major  uttered  something  harsh,  and 
dashed  on.  I  afterwards  learned  that  experi 
enced  fox-hunters  know  the  extent  of  his  ex 
haustion  from  the  manner  in  which  he  carries 
his  tail. 

Having  reasoned  out  the  fox's  movements  this 
time  successfully,  I  concluded  I  could  do  the 
like  again  ;  I  therefore  reasoned  that  after  ram 
bling  about  a  short  time  he  would  seek  the 
neighborhood  of  his  burrow.  Accordingly,  I 
paced  back  (going  round  the  log  this  time)  to 
a  position  where  I  might  intercept  him.  Here 
I  remained  about  an  hour,  without  hearing  man, 
horse,  or  dog,  and  then  I  paced  home,  where  I 


THE   FOX-HUNT  247 

arrived  at  eleven  o'clock,  perfectly  satisfied  with 
fox-hunting. 

When  my  companions  returned,  they  reported 
that  five  miles  from  where  I  was  waiting  for  the 
fox,  and  seven  from  the  village,  at  about  two 
o'clock  P.M.,  right  in  the  big  road,  near  Rich- 
land  Creek,  the  dogs  "knocked  out/'  and  could 
never  be  knocked  in  again. 

But  they  brought  home  a  rich  fund  of  anec 
dote  from  the  chase,  which  served  to  enliven 
many  an  idle  hour  afterwards  ;  I  reserved  mine 
to  the  present  moment,  to  enliven  the  family 
fireside  on  these  cold  winter  evenings. 

HALL. 


THE  WAXWORKS 

1^  the  city  of resided  once  a  band  of  gay 

spirits,  who,  though  they  differed  from  each  oth 
er  in  some  respects,  were  all  alike  in  this,  that 
they  were  fond  of  fun. 

Billy  Grossly  was  an  odd  compound  of  grave 
and  humorous.  He  seldom  projected  a  scheme 
of  amusement,  but  never  failed  to  take  part  in  it 
when  it  was  set  on  foot  by  others.  'Why,  it  was 
not  easy  to  tell ;  for,  if  he  enjoyed  the  most  amus 
ing  pastime  at  all,  his  enjoyment  was  all  inward, 
for  he  rarely  laughed  or  gave  any  other  visible 
sign  of  lively  pleasure. 

Jack  Clomes  seemed  to  have  been  made  for 
fun.  It  was  his  meat  and  his  drink  ;  he  could 
no  more  live  without  it  than  he  could  live  with 
out  his  ordinary  diet.  Withal,  Jack  had  a  won 
derful  talent  for  manufacturing  food  for  his 
prevailing  appetite.  Indeed,  his  fault  was  that 
he  never  could  be  got  to  perform  his  part  in  a 
humorous  exhibition,  which  required  concert 
with  others,  without  digressing  from  the  main 
plot  whenever  he  discovered  a  fair  opportunity 
of  picking  up  a  delicate  morsel  of  fun  precisely 
suited  to  his  own  palate. 

James  M'Lass  was  fond  of  a  harmless  frolic, 


THE   WAXWORKS  249 

and  whenever  he  engaged  in  it,  if  by  preconcert, 
he  always  made  it  a  point  of  honor  to  perform 
his  part  in  strict  obedience  to  the  original  de 
sign. 

These  three,  with  six  or  eight  others,  whose 
dispositions  it  is  not  necessary  to  mention,  vis 
ited  the  village  of  -  -  in  order  to  attend  the 
races  which  were  in  progress  in  the  vicinity  of 
that  place. 

Towards  the  close  of  the  races,  it  was  discov 
ered  that  the  joint  funds  of  the  whole  frater 
nity  were  not  sufficient  to  discharge  the  tavern- 
bills  of  any  two  of  them.  What  was  to  be  done 
in  this  emergency  ?  To  have  borrowed  would 
have  been  extremely  mortifying,  and  perhaps  a 
little  inconvenient ;  to  have  gone  away  without 
paying  their  tavern-bills  would  have  been  con 
trary  to  the  first  principles  of  Georgia  honor. 
They  were  soon  relieved  from  their  dilemma  by 
the  ingenuity  of  domes. 

During  the  races  a  "Down-Easter"  had  been 
exhibiting  wax  figures  in  the  village;  and,  con 
cluding  that  the  profits  of  his  business  would 
end  with  the  sports  of  the  turf,  he  had  begun 
to  pack  up  his  portables  for  removal  to  a  more 
eligible  station. 

Clomes  now  proposed  that  his  company  should 
take  the  places  and  parts  of  the  retiring  figures — 
or,  to  use  his  own  expression,  "  should  play  wax 
works" — until  they  made  enough  to  pay  their 
bills.  A  single  night,  it  was  thought,  would 
suffice  for  this  purpose. 

The  plan  was  no  sooner  proposed  than  it  was 


250  GEORGIA    SCENES 

embraced  by  all.  The  room  and  its  furniture 
were  engaged  for  the  evening  ;  the  parts  were 
cast  without  difficulty ;  and  each  went  industri 
ously  to  work  to  fit  himself  for  the  part  he  was 
to  perform. 

Billy  Grossly,  having  the  advantage  of  all  the 
rest  in  height  and  abdominal  rotundity,  was  by 
common  consent  chosen  as  a  proper  represent 
ative  of  Daniel  Lambert,  the  prodigious  Eng 
lishman  who  weighed,  if  I  remember  rightly, 
upward  of  six  hundred  pounds.  The  reader 
need  hardly  be  told  that,  with  all  his  advan 
tages,  Billy  required  the  aid  of  at  least  eight 
pillows,  with  some  extra  chinking,  as  we  say  in 
Georgia,  to  give  him  a  bulk  corresponding  with 
this  enormous  weight ;  nor  need  he  be  told  that 
divers  of  the  most  decent  bags  which  the  village 
afforded,  with  a  small  sheet,  Avere  put  in  requisi 
tion,  to  contain  him  and  his  adjuncts. 

Freedom  Lazenby  was  the  only  one  of  the  com 
pany  who  could,  with  any  propriety,  personify 
the  Sleeping  Beauty  ;  and  of  course  this  part 
was  assigned  to  him.  Freedom's  figure  was  quite 
too  gross  for  the  beau-ideal  of  female  symmetry, 
and  his  face,  though  fine  for  a  man,  had  rather 
too  much  compass  to  represent  nature's  finest 
touches  of  female  beauty.  However,  it  was  soon 
perceived  that  a  counterpane  would  hide  the 
defects  of  the  first,  and  a  deep-frilled  cap  would 
reduce  the  last  to  passable  effeminacy.  But  there 
were  two  other  difficulties  which  were  not  so 
easily  removed.  It  is  well  known  that  the  inter 
est  of  the  Sleeping  Beauty  is  much  enlivened  by 


THE    WAXWORKS  251 

an  exposed  bosom,  by  which  reposes  a  lovely  in 
fant.  Even  Clomes's  ingenuity  could  not  supply 
these.  A  living  child  would  not  answer ;  for, 
whether  taken  to  the  arms  of  the  Beauty  asleep 
or  awake,  it  would  be  certain  to  give  signs  of  life 
before  the  exhibition  ended ;  and  there  was  not 
even  a  tolerable  manufacturer  of  bosoms  in  the 
whole  village.  There  was  no  alternative  ;  the 
interest  of  the  spectators  must  yield  to  the  neces 
sities  of  the  performers  ;  it  was  therefore  deter 
mined  that  the  Beauty's  bosom  should  share  the 
fate  of  her  person,  and  be  covered  ;  that  an  in 
fant  should  be  manufactured  in  the  best  possible 
style  out  of  rags ;  and  that  the  paint-brush  should 
supply  the  place  of  wax  for  the  face.  As  there 
were  no  Raphaels,  Titians,  Wests,  or  Debuffes 
in  the  village,  the  little  innocent  did  not  come 
from  the  hands  of  the  artist  with  the  most  per 
fect  face  imaginable  ;  but  it  was  the  best  that 
could  be  given  to  it,  and  if  it  wanted  interest, 
that  was  not  the  fault  of  the  company. 

To  James  M'Lass  was  assigned  the  part  of 
Miss  Eliza  Failes,  the  unfortunate  girl  who  was 
murdered  by  her  unnatural  lover,  Jason  Fair 
banks  ;  and  Clomes  took  the  part  of  the  mur 
derer. 

It  was  proposed  to  represent  Miss  Failes  at  the 
moment  when  the  blood  was  streaming  from  the 
lacerated  throat ;  but  Jemmy  refused  to  personify 
her  in  that  condition,  and  therefore  they  had  to 
place  him  in  another  part  of  the  tragedy.  That 
was  selected  in  which  Fairbanks  has  his  victim 
by  the  hair  with  the  left  hand,  the  knife  upraised 


252  GEORGIA    SCENES 

in  the  right,  in  the  act  of  commencing  his  work 
of  butchery. 

The  other  figures,  being  merely  distinguished 
personages,  were  easily  represented. 

From  some  cause  unknown,  perhaps  to  invite 
visitors,  or  merely  because,  perhaps,  it  was  a  mat 
ter  that  lay  fully  within  the  range  of  the  com 
pany^  art,  they  resolved  to  exhibit  a  corpse  in  the 
antechamber  gratis ;  and  Pleasant  Halgroce,  a 
jolly  son  of  Bacchus,  kindly  offered  to  play  this 
part.  Every  child  knows  that  a  plate  of  burning 
spirits,  with  a  little  salt  thrown  into  it,  will  throw 
over  the  features  of  a  living  person  all  the  pale 
ness  and  ghastliness  of  death.  This  was  the  only 
device  used  to  convert  Pleasant's  smirky  red  face 
into  that  of  a  corpse. 

All  matters  being  now  arranged,  and  the  per 
formers  having  practised  their  parts  in  their  new 
characters  until  they  ceased  to  be  ridiculous,  they 
all  took  their  places  after  an  early  supper. 

Before  the  doors  were  opened  to  the  principal 
exhibition,  a  little  incident  occurred  in  the  ante 
chamber  which  suddenly  closed  the  entertain 
ment  in  this  quarter,  and  had  a  material  bearing 
upon  that  in  the  other. 

Pleasant  Halgroce  had  taken  his  position,  and 
was  playing  a  corpse  to  the  life,  or,  rather,  to  the 
death;  a  number  of  persons  gathered  round  him 
with  becoming  solemnity,  when  a  dumb  man, 
who  was  devotedly  attached  to  him,  joined  the 
group.  As  soon  as  his  eyes  fell  upon  the  pros 
trate  body  of  Pleasant,  he  burst  into  the  most 
piteous  and  unaffected  wailing.  Nothing  could 


THE    WAXWORKS  253 

restrain  him  from  embracing  his  departed  friend. 
He  approached  him,  and  was  in  the  act  of  bending 
over  him,  to  give  him  affection's  fondest  adieu, 
when  a  pretty  stiff  breeze  from  Pleasant's  lips, 
strengthened  by  previous  suppression,  charged 
with  the  fumes  of  about  half  a  pint  of  brandy, 
saluted  the  face  of  the  mourner.  The  transition 
from  grief  to  joy  was  instantaneous  with  the  poor 
mute.  He  rose  in  transports  ;  pointed  to  Pleas- 
ant's  face,  then  to  his  own,  touched  his  nose,  gave 
it  a  significant  curl,  snuffed  gently,  and  then 
clapping  both  hands  to  his  stomach,  he  com 
menced  inhaling  and  respiring  with  all  the  tone 
and  emphasis  of  a  pair  of  blacksmith's  bellows. 
Pleasant,  now  perceiving  that  exposure  was  in 
evitable,  rose,  and  rushed  upon  the  dumb  man 
with  the  fury  of  a  tiger.  This  sudden  resuscita 
tion  of  Pleasant  to  life  in  its  most  healthful  ac 
tion  was  as  alarming  to  the  mute  as  his  breathing 
had  been  joyous  ;  and  he  fled,  with  Pleasant  at 
his  heels,  as  though  all  the  tenants  of  the  church 
yard  had  risen  upon  him  at  once. 

Pleasant  had  only  to  resume  his  dress,  and 
appear  in  a  natural  light,  to  pass  unknown  by  all 
but  the  initiated  ;  for,  aside  from  burning  brandy, 
he  was  no  more  like  a  corpse  than  a  rose  is  like  a 

lily- 
Pleasant,  being  now  out  of  employment,  deter 
mined  to  take  upon  himself  the  part  of  historian 
to  the  wax  figures. 

The  door  leading  to  the  figures  was  no  sooner 
opened  than  several  persons  entered  and  viewed 
them  with  apparent  satisfaction.  The  spectators 


254  GEORGIA   SCENES 

had  increased  to  the  number  of  eight  or  ten,  when 
a  raw-boned,  awkward,  gawky  son  of  the  forest 
named  Rory  Brushwood  made  his  appearance, 
paid  his  money,  and  entered.  Pleasant,  of  course, 
undertook  to  enrich  his  mind  with  historic  lore, 
while  he  feasted  his  eye  upon  the  wonders  of  art. 

"  This,"  said  Pleasant,  leading  Rory  up  to  the 
Sleeping  Beauty,  "is  the  Sleeping  Beauty  ;  she's 
given  up  on  all  hands  to  be  the  prettiest  creature 
in  the  universal  world.  Now  what  would  you 
give,  my  old  Snort,  to  have  as  pretty  a  wife  and 
as  pretty  a  baby  as  that  ?" 

"Humph  !"  said  Rory,  "I  don't  think  she's  so 
d — d  pretty  as  she  mout  be;  and  as  for  the  baby, 
it  looks  like  a  screech-owl  in  petticoats." 

"  Monstrous  pretty  !  monstrous  pretty  !"  con 
tinued  Pleasant.  "But  come  here'' — hurrying 
Rory  off,  lest  his  remarks  should  wake  the  Sleep 
ing  Beauty — "  come  here,  and  I'll  show  you  some 
thing  that'll  make  your  hair  rise  like  a  fighting 
cat's." 

"  There !"  continued  he,  pointing  to  Billy 
Grossly,  "just  take  a  squint  at  that  fellow,  will 
you  :  that's  Daniel  Lambert ;  he  was  born  in 
Nocatchey,  and  was  raised  upon  nothing  but 
grass-nuts  and  sweet-potatoes,  and  just  see  what 
he's  come  to  !  He  weighs  nine  hundred  and 
fifty,  dead  weight." 

"  He's  a  whaler  !"  said  Rory  ;  "  but  his  face  is 
mighty  little  for  his  belly  and  legs." 

"Oh,"  said  Pleasant,  "that's  owing  to  the 
grass-nuts  and  potatoes  ;  you  know  they  always 
puff  up  the  lower  parts  mightily." 


256  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Nobody  but  Billy  could  have  withstood  this 
lecture  upon  himself  without  a  smile ;  but  he 
passed  it  off  admirably. 

The  critical  time  was  now  at  hand.  Pleasant 
and  Kory  advanced  in  front  of  Miss  Failes  and 
Mr.  Fairbanks,  where  they  found  another  visitor 
viewing  the  interesting  couple.  Pleasant  deem 
ed  it  unadvisable  to  continue  his  lectures  in  the 
presence  of  Olomes  ;  and,  had  Clomes  himself 
been  equally  prudent,  things  might  all  have 
ended  well ;  but  he  was  not. 

While  the  three  gentlemen  just  named  were 
gazing  on  the  figures  before  them,,  Jack  took  it 
into  his  head  to  try  a  little  experiment  upon  Miss 
Failes's  muscles,  through  the  sensibilities  of  her 
head ;  accordingly,  he  tightened  his  grip  suddenly 
upon  her  hair.  This  brought  from  her  a  slight 
wince ;  but  Jack  did  not  perceive  it.  Encouraged 
by  her  philosophy,  he  made  a  second  pull  with  all 
the  strength  that  lay  in  the  muscles  and  sinews 
of  his  left  hand. 

This  brought  a  palpable  grin  from  Miss  Failes ; 
and,  what  was  worse,  in  the  zeal  of  his  experi 
ments  upon  Jim's  stoicism,  Jack  overacted  his 
own  part  a  little. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  Rory,  in  a  tone  of  awful 
dignity  and  self-satisfaction  as  he  turned  grave 
ly  to  the  by-standers — "gentlemen,  it's  flesh  and 
blood." 

"  There,"  said  Pleasant,  "  that  just  proves 
what  I've  said — that  these  are  the  best  waxworks 
that  ever  was  showed  in  all  these  parts.  It's  most 
impossible  to  tell  'em  from  live  folks." 


THE    WAXWORKS  257 

"Gentlemen,"  repeated  Rory,  with  the  same 
unruffled  composure,  ''it's  flesh  and  blood.  If 
I  didn't  see  that  fellow  wink,  and  that  woman 
squinch  her  face,  then  hell's  a  dancing-room." 

"No  matter  for  that,"  said  Pleasant,  "they're 
no  thin'  but  wax,  for  all  that ;  and,  if  you  don't 
b'lieve  me,  just  feel  that  fellow's  cheek." 

Rory  raised  his  finger  slowly,  as  if  actually 
doubting  the  evidence  of  his  senses,  and  was 
just  in  the  act  of  touching  Jack's  cheek,  when 
Jack  snapped  at  his  finger  like  a  shark,  and 
can ght  it  between  his  teeth  with  a  force  most 
unreasonable  for  fun. 

The  shock  was  so  unexpected  and  severe  that 
it  completely  unmanned  Rory  for  the  instant, 
and  he  sank  powerless  upon  the  floor.  He  soon 
rose,  however,  and  rose  with  Miss  Failes's  chair, 
which  happened  to  be  vacant  just  at  this  moment ; 
and  then  (to  use  an  expression  of  one  of  the 
characters),  "if  ever  you  saw  waxworks  cut  dirt, 
they  cut  it  then." 

Mr.  Fairbanks  was  the  first  to  make  his  escape, 
but  not  without  being  nearly  overtaken  by  the 
chair.  Miss  Failes  followed  next ;  then  General 
Washington  and  other  distinguished  personages, 
whose  attitudes  prepared  them  for  running.  The 
Sleeping  Beauty,  being  a  little  encumbered  with 
bedclothes,  was  rather  slow  in  retiring;  she  was 
enough  in  a  hurry,  however,  to  leave  her  little 
infant  in  the  middle  of  the  floor  to  Rory's  care, 
who,  discovering  its  true  character  just  as  Daniel 
Lambert  was  removing  his  feathers  to  another 
apartment,  let  him  have  the  baby,  with  all  his 

17 


258  GEORGIA    SCENES 

force,  between  the  shoulders.  As  this  was  only 
rags  against  pillows,  Daniel  escaped  as  free  from 
injury  as  the  rest  of  them. 

Eory  now  became  clamorous  for  his  money ; 
but  the  doorkeeper  was  not  to  be  found — and, 
indeed,  claimed  and  kept  for  his  services  all  that 
was  made,  leaving  the  performers  to  settle  their 
bills  as  they  could. 

HALL. 


A  SAGE   CONVERSATION 

I  LOVE  the  aged  matrons  of  our  land.  As  a 
class,  they  are  the  most  pious,  the  most  benevo 
lent,  the  most  useful,  and  the  most  harmless  of 
the  human  family.  Their  life  is  a  life  of  good 
offices.  At  home  they  are  patterns  of  industry, 
care,  economy,  and  hospitality ;  abroad,  they  are 
ministers  of  comfort,  peace,  and  consolation. 
Where  affliction  is,  there  are  they  to  mitigate  its 
pangs  ;  where  sorrow  is,  there  are  they  to  assuage 
its  pains.  Nor  night  nor  day,  nor  summer's 
heat  nor  winter's  cold,  nor  angry  elements,  can 
deter  them  from  scenes  of  suffering  and  distress. 
They  are  the  first  at  the  fevered  couch,  and  the 
last  to  leave  it.  They  hold  the  first  and  last  cup 
to  the  parched  lip.  They  bind  the  aching  head, 
close  the  dying  eye,  and  linger  in  the  death- 
stricken  habitation  to  pour  the  last  drop  of  con 
solation  into  the  afflicted  bosoms  of  the  bereaved. 
I  cannot,  therefore,  ridicule  them  myself,  nor 
bear  to  hear  them  ridiculed  in  my  presence. 
And  yet  I  am  often  amused  at  their  conversations ; 
and  have  amused  them  with  a  rehearsal  of  their 
own  conversations,  taken  down  by  me  when  they 
little  dreamed  that  I  was  listening  to  them.  Per 
haps  my  reverence  for  their  character,  conspir- 


260  GEORGIA    SCENES 

ing  with  a  native  propensity  to  extract  amusement 
from  all  that  passes  under  my  observation,  has 
accustomed  me  to  pay  a  uniformly  strict  atten 
tion  to  all  they  say  in  my  presence. 

This  much  in  extraordinary  courtesy  to  those 
who  cannot  distinguish  between  a  simple  narra 
tive  of  an  amusing  interview  and  ridicule  of  the 
parties  to  it.  Indeed,  I  do  not  know  that  the 
conversation  which  I  am  about  to  record  will  be 
considered  amusing  by  any  of  my  readers.  Cer 
tainly  the  amusement  of  the  readers  of  my  own 
times  is  not  the  leading  object  of  it,  or  of  any 
of  the  Georgia  Scenes,  forlorn  as  may  be  the 
hope  that  their  main  object  will  ever  be  an 
swered. 

When  I  seated  myself  to  the  sheet  now  before 
me  my  intention  was  merely  to  detail  a  con 
versation  between  three  ladies  which  I  heard 
many  years  since,  confining  myself  to  only  so 
much  of  it  as  sprang  from  the  ladies'  own 
thoughts,  unawakened  by  the  suggestions  of 
others  ;  but  as  the  manner  of  its  introduction 
will  perhaps  interest  some  of  my  readers,  I  will 
give  it. 

I  was  travelling  with  my  old  friend  Ned 
Brace  when  we  stopped,  at  the  dusk  of  the 
evening,  at  a  house  on  the  roadside  for  the  night. 
Here  we  found  three  nice,  tidy,  aged  matrons, 
the  youngest  of  whom  could  not  have  been 
under  sixty;  one  of  them,  of  course,  was  the 
lady  of  the  house,  whose  husband,  old  as  he 
was,  had  gone  from  home  upon  a  land-explor 
ing  expedition.  She  received  us  hospitably, 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  261 

had  onr  horses  well  attended  to,  and  soon  pre 
pared  for  us  a  comfortable  supper.  While  these 
things  were  doing,  Ned  and  I  engaged  the  oth 
er  two  in  conversation,  in  the  course  of  which 
Ned  deported  himself  with  becoming  serious 
ness.  The  kind  lady  of  the  house  occasionally 
joined  us,  and  became  permanently  one  of  the 
party  from  the  time  the  first  dish  was  placed  on 
the  table.  At  the  usual  hour  we  were  sum 
moned  to  supper  ;  and,  as  soon  as  we  were  seat 
ed,  Ned,  unsolicited,  and  most  unexpectedly  to 
me,  said  grace.  I  knew  full  well  that  this  was 
a  prelude  to  some  trick — I  could  not  conjecture 
what.  His  explanation  (except  so  much  as  I 
discovered  myself)  was,  that  he  knew  that  one 
of  us  would  be  asked  to  say  grace,  and  he 
thought  he  might  as  well  save  the  good  ladies 
the  trouble  of  asking.  The  matter,  was,  how 
ever,  more  fully  explained  just  before  the  mo 
ment  of  our  retiring  to  bed  arrived.  To  this 
moment  the  conversation  went  round  between 
the  good  ladies  and  ourselves  with  mutual  in 
terest  to  all.  It  was  much  enlivened  by  Ned, 
who  was  capable,  as  the  reader  has  been  here 
tofore  informed,  of  making  himself  extremely 
agreeable  in  all  company,  and  who  upon  this 
occasion  was  upon  his  very  best  behavior.  It 
was  immediately  after  I  had  looked  at  my  watch, 
in  token  of  my  disposition  to  retire  for  the  night, 
that  the  conversation  turned  upon  marriages, 
happy  and  unhappy,  strange,  unequal,  runaways, 
etc.  Ned  rose  in  the  midst  of  it,  and  asked  the 
landlady  where  we  should  sleep.  She  pointed  to 


262  GEORGIA    SCENES 

an  open  shed-room  adjoining  the  room  in  which 
we  were  sitting,  and  separated  from  it  by  a  log 
partition,  between  the  spaces  of  which  might  be 
seen  all  that  passed  in  the  dining-room,  and  so 
close  to  the  fireplace  of  this  apartment  that  a 
loud  whisper  might  be  easily  heard  from  one  to 
the  other. 

"The  strangest  match/'  said  Ned,  resuming 
the  conversation  with  a  parson's  gravity,  "  that 
ever  I  heard  of  was  that  of  George  Scott  and 
David  Snow,  two  most  excellent  men,  who  be 
came  so  much  attached  to  each  other  that  they 
actually  got  married— 

"  The  lackaday  I"  exclaimed  one  of  the  ladies. 

' '  And  was  it  really  a  fact  ?"  inquired  another. 

"Oh  yes,  ma'am,"  continued  Ned  ;  "I  knew 
them  very  well,  and  often  went  to  their  house  ; 
and  no  people  could  have  lived  happier  or  man 
aged  better  than  they  did.  And  they  raised  a 
lovely  parcel  of  children  ;  as  fine  a  set  as  I  ever 
saw,  except  their  youngest  son,  Billy;  he  was 
a  little  wild,  but,  upon  the  whole,  a  right  clever 
boy  himself.  Come,  friend  Baldwin,  we're  sit 
ting  up  too  late  for  travellers."  So  saying,  Ned 
moved  to  the  shed-room,  and  I  followed  him. 

The  ladies  were  left  in  silent  amazement ;  and 
Ned,  suspecting,  doubtless,  that  they  were  listen 
ing  for  a  laugh  from  our  chamber  as  we  entered 
it,  continued  the  subject  with  unabated  grav 
ity,  thus:  "You  knew  those  two  men,  didn't 
you  ?" 

"  Where  did  they  live  ?"  inquired  I,  not  a 
little  disposed  to  humor  him. 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  263 

"  Why,  they  lived  down  there  on  Cedar  Creek, 
close  by  Jacob  Denman's.  Oh,  I'll  tell  you  who 
their  daughter  Nancy  married  ;  she  married 
John  Clarke.  You  knew  him  very  well." 

"Oh  yes,"  said  I,  "I  knew  John  Clarke  very 
well.  His  wife  was  a  most  excellent  woman." 

"Well,  the  boys  were  just  as  clever,  for  boys, 
as  she  was  for  a  girl,  except  Bill ;  and  I  never 
heard  anything  very  bad  of  him,  unless  it  was 
his  laughing  in  church  ;  that  put  me  more  out 
of  conceit  of  him  than  anything  I  ever  knew  of 
him.  Now,  Baldwin,  when  I  go  to  bed,  I  go  to 
bed  to  sleep,  and  not  to  talk;  and,  therefore, 
from  the  time  my  head  touches  the  pillow,  there 
must  be  no  more  talking.  Besides,  we  must 
take  an  early  start  to-morrow,  and  Fm  tired." 
So  saying,  he  hopped  into  his  bed,  and  I  obeyed 
his  injunctions. 

Before  I  followed  his  example,  I  could  not  re 
sist  the  temptation  of  casting  an  eye  through  the 
cracks  of  the  partition,  to  see  the  effect  of  Ned's 
wonderful  story  upon  the  kind  ladies.  Mrs. 
Barney  (it  is  time  to  give  their  names)  was 
sitting  in  a  thoughtful  posture,  her  left  hand 
supporting  her  chin,  and  her  knee  supporting 
her  left  elbow.  Her  countenance  was  that  of 
one  who  suffers  from  a  slight  toothache.  Mrs. 
Shad  leaned  forward,  resting  her  forearm  on  her 
knees,  and  looking  into  the  fire  as  if  she  saw 
groups  of  children  playing  in  it.  Mrs.  Reed,  the 
landlady,  who  was  the  fattest  of  the  three,  was 
thinking  and  laughing  alternately  at  short  inter 
vals.  From  my  bed  it  required  but  a  slight 


264  GEORGIA    SCENES 

change  of  position  to  see  any  one  of  the  group  at 
pleasure. 

I  was  110  sooner  composed  011  my  pillow  than 
the  old  ladies  drew  their  chairs  close  together, 
and  began  the  following  colloquy  in  a  low  under 
tone,,  which  rose  as  it  progressed  : 

Mrs.  Barney.  Didn't  that  man  say  them  was 
two  men  that  got  married  to  one  another  ? 

Mrs.  Shad.  It  seemed  to  me  so. 

Mrs.  Reed.  Why,  to  be  sure  he  did.  I  know 
he  said  so  ;  for  he  said  what  their  names  was. 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  in  the  name  o'  sense,  what 
did  the  man  mean  by  saying  they  raised  a  fine 
parcel  of  children  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Why,  bless  your  heart  and  soul, 
honey  !  that's  what  I've  been  thinkin'  about. 
It  seems  mighty  curious  to  me,  somehow  or  oth 
er.  I  can't  study  it  out,  nohow. 

Mrs.  8.  The  man  must  be  jokin',  certainly. 

Mrs.  R.  No,  he  wasn't  jokin';  for  I  looked 
at  him  and  he  was  just  as  much  in  yearnest  as 
anybody  I  ever  seed ;  and,  besides,  no  Christian 
man  would  tell  such  a  story  in  that  solemn  way. 
And  didn't  you  hear  that  other  man  say  he  knew 
their  da'ter  Nancy  ? 

Mrs.  S.  But,  la  messy  !  Mis'  Keed,  it  can't 
be  so.  It  doesn't  stand  to  reason.  Don't  you 
know  it  don't  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  I  wouldn't  think  so;  but  it's 
hard  for  me  somehow  to  dispute  a  Christian 
man's  word. 

Mrs.  B.  I've  been  thinking  the  thing  all  over 
in  my  mind,  and  I  reckon — now  I  don't  say  it  is 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  265 

so,  for  I  don't  know  nothing  at  all  about  it — bnt 
1  reckon  that  one  of  them  men  was  a  woman 
dressed  in  men's  clothes  ;  for  Fve  often  hearn 
o'  women  doin'  them  things,  and  following  their 
true-love  to  the  wars,  and  bein'  a  waitin'-boy  to 
'em,  and  all  sich. 

Mrs.  S.  Well,  maybe  it's  somehow  in  that 
way  ;  but,  la  me  !  'twould  'a'  been  obliged  to 
been  found  out.  Don't  you  know  it  would  ? 
Only  think  how  many  children  she  had.  Now 
it  stands  to  reason  that  at  some  time  or  other  it 
must  have  been  found  out. 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  I'm  an  old  woman  anyhow, 
and  I  reckon  the  good  man  won't  mind  what  an 
old  woman  says  to  him  ;  so,  btess  the  Lord,  if  I 
live  to  see  the  morning,  I'll  ask  him  about  it. 

I  knew  that  Ned  was  surpassed  by  no  man 
living  in  extricating  himself  from  difficulties  ; 
but  how  he  was  to  escape  from  this,  with  even 
tolerable  credit  to  himself,  I  could  not  devise. 

The  ladies  here  took  leave  of  Ned's  marvel 
lous  story,  drew  themselves  closely  round  the 
fire.,  lighted  their  pipes,  and  proceeded  as  fol 
lows  : 

Mrs.  B.  Jist  before  me  and  my  old  man  was 
married  there  was  a  gal  named  Nancy  Mount- 
castle  (puff,  puff),  and  she  was  a  mighty  likely 
gal  (puff)  ;  I  know'd  her  mighty  well ;  she  dress 
ed  herself  up  in  men's  clothes  (puff,  puff),  and 
followed  Jemmy  Darden  from  P'ankatank,  in 
^KiKG  AND  QUEEN  (puff),  clean  up  to  LOUDON. 

Mrs.  S.  (puff,  puff,  puff,  puff,  puff).  And  did 
he  marry  her  ? 


266  GEORGIA    SCENES 

Mrs.  B.  (sighing  deeply).  No  ;  Jemmy  didn't 
marry  her ;  pity  he  hadn't,  poor  thing. 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  I  know'd  a  gal  on  Tar  River 
done  the  same  thing  (puff,  puff,  puff).  She  fol 
lowed  Moses  Rusher  'way  down  somewhere  in  the 
South  State  (puff,  puff). 

Mrs.  S.  (puff,  puff,  puff,  puff).  And  what  did 
he  do  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Ah  !  (puff,  puff).  Lord  bless  your 
soul,  honey,  I  can't  tell  you  what  he  did.  Bad 
enough. 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  now,  it  seems  to  me— I  don't 
know  much  about  it — but  it  seems  to  me,  men 
don't  like  to  marry  gals  that  take  on  that  way. 
It  looks  like  it  puts  'em  out  of  concait  of  'em. 

Mrs.  8.  I  know'd  one  man  that  married  a  wom 
an  that  followed  him  from  Oar'lina  to  this  State  ; 
but  she  didn't  dress  herself  in  men's  clothes.  You 
both  know  'em.  You  know  Simpson  Trotty's 
sister  and  Rachael's  son  Reuben.  'Twas  him  and 
his  wife. 

Mrs.  R.  and  Mrs.  B.  Oh  yes,  I  know  'em  mighty 
well. 

Mrs.  S.  Well,  it  was  his  wife  ;  she  followed  him 
out  to  this  State. 

Mrs.  B.  I  know'd  'em  all  mighty  well.  Her 
da'ter  Lucy  was  the  littlest  teeny  bit  of  a  thing 
when  it  was  born  I  ever  did  see.  But  they  tell 
me  that  when  I  was  born — now  I  don't  know  any 
thing  about  it  myself,  but  the  old  folks  used  to 
tell  me  that  when  I  was  born  they  put  me  in  a 
quart  mug,  and  mouglit  V  covered  me  up  in  it. 

Mrs.  S.  The  lackaday  ! 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  267 

Mrs.  R.  What  ailment  did  Lucy  die  of,  Mis' 
Barney  ? 

Mrs.  B.  Why,  first  she  took  the  ager  and  fever, 
and  took  a  Abundance  o'  doctor's  means  for  that. 
And  then  she  got  a  powerful  bad  cough,  and  it 
kept  gittin'  worse  and  worse,  till  at  last  it  turned 
into  a  consumption,  and  she  jist  nat'ly  wasted 
away,  till  she  was  nothing  but  skin  and  bone,  and 
she  died  ;  but,  poor  creature,  she  died  mighty 
happy  ;  and  I  think  in  my  heart  she  made  the 
prettiest  corpse,  considering  of  anybody  I  'most 
ever  seed. 

Mrs.  R.  and  Mrs.  S.  Emph  !  (solemnly). 

Mrs.  R.  What  did  the  doctors  give  her  for  the 
fever  and  ager  ? 

Mrs.  B.  Oh,  they  gin'  her  a  'bundance  o' truck ; 
I  don't  know  what  all ;  and  none  of  'em  holp  her 
at  all.  But  at  last  she  got  over  it,  somehow  or 
other.  If  they'd  have  just  gin'  her  a  sweat  o'  bit 
ter  yerbs,  jist  as  the  spell  was  comin'  on,  it  would 
have  cured  her  right  away. 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  I  reckon  sheep-saffron  the  onli- 
est  thing  in  nater  for  the  ager. 

Mrs.  B.  I've  always  hearn  it  was  wonderful  in 
hives  and  measly  ailments. 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  it's  just  as  good  for  an  ager  ;  it's 
a  powerful  sweat.  Mrs.  Clarkson  told  me  that 
her  cousin  Betsy's  Aunt  Sally's  Nancy  was  cured 
sound  and  well  by  it  of  a  hard  shakin'  ager. 

Mrs.  8.  Why,  you  don't  tell  me  so  ! 

Mrs.  R.  Oh,  bless  your  heart,  honey,  it's  every 
word  true  ;  for  she  told  me  so  with  her  own 
mouth. 


GEORGIA    SCENES 


Mrs.  8.  A  hard,  hard  shakin'  ager  ? 

Mrs.  R.   Oh  yes,  honey,  it's  the  truth. 

Mrs.  8.  Well,  I'm  told  that  if  you'll  wrap  the 
inside  skin  of  an  egg  round  your  little  finger, 
and  go  three  days  reg'lar  to  a  young  persimmon, 
and  tie  a  string  round  it,  and  every  day  tie  three 
knots  in  it,  and  then  not  go  agin  for  three  days, 
that  the  ager  will  leave  you. 

Mrs.  B.  I've  often  hearn  o'  that,  but  I  don't 
know  about  it.  Some  people  don't  believe  in  it. 

Mrs.  8.  Well,  Davy  Cooper's  wife  told  me 
she  didn't  believe  in  it ;  but  she  tried  it,  and  it 
cured  her  sound  and  well. 

Mrs.  R.  I've  hearn  of  many  folks  bein'  cured 
in  that  way.  And  what  did  they  do  for  Lucy's 
cough,  Mis'  Barney  ? 

Mrs.  B.  Oh,  dear  me,  they  gin'  her  a  powerful 
chance  o'  truck  !  I  reckon,  first  and  last,  she 
took  at  least  a  pint  o'  lodimy. 

Mrs.  S.  and  Mrs.  R.   The  law  ! 

Mrs.  8.  Why,  that  ought  to  have  killed  her, 
if  nothing  else!  If  they'd  jist  gin'  her  a  little 
cumfry  and  elecampane,  stewed  in  honey,  or 
sugar,  or  molasses,  with  a  little  lump  o'  mutton 
suet  or  butter  in  it,  it  would  have  cured  her  in 
two  days,  sound  and  well. 

Mrs.  B.  I've  always  counted  cumfry  and  ale- 
campane  the  lead  of  all  yerbs  for  colds. 

Mrs.  8.  Horehound  and  sugar's  'mazin'  good. 

Mrs.  B.  Mighty  good,  mighty  good. 

Mrs.  R.  Powerful  good.  I  take  mightily  to  a 
sweat  of  sage-tea  in  desperate  bad  colds. 

Mrs.  8.  And  so  do  I,  Mis'  Eeed.     Indeed,  I 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION 


have  a  great  leanin'  to  sweats  of  verbs,  in  all  ail 
ments  sich  as  colds,  and  rheumaty  pains,  and 
pleurisies,  and  sich  ;  they're  wonderful  good. 
Old  Brother  Smith  came  to  my  house  from 
Bethany  meeting  in  a  mighty  bad  way  with 
a  cold  and  cough,  and  his  throat  and  nose  all 
stopped  up ;  seemed  like  it  would  'most  take 
his  breath  away ;  and  it  was  dead  o'  winter,  and 
I  had  nothin'  but  dried  yerbs,  sich  as  camomile, 
sage,  pennyr'yal,  catmint,  horehound,  and  sich  ; 
so  I  put  a  hot  rock  to  his  feet,  and  made  him  a 
large  bowl  o'  catmint  tea,  and  I  reckon  he  drank 
'most  two  quarts  of  it  through  the  night ;  and  it 
put  him  in  a  mighty  fine  sweat,  and  loosened  all 
thephleem,  and  opened  all  his  head  ;  and  the  next 
morning,  says  he  to  me,  says  he,  Sister  Shad — 
you  know  he's  a  mighty  kind-spoken  man,  and 
always  was  so  'fore  he  joined  society ;  and  the 
old  man  likes  a  joke  yet  right  well,  the  old  man 
does  ;  but  he's  a  mighty  good  man,  and  I  think 
he  prays  with  greater  libity  than  'most  any  one 
of  his  age  I  'most  ever  seed ;  don't  you  think  he 
does,  Mis'  Keed  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Powerful. 

Mrs.  B.  Who  did  he  marry  ? 

Mrs.  S.  Why,  he  married — stop,  I'll  tell  you 
directly.  Why,  what  does  make  my  old  head 
forget  so  ? 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  it  seems  to  me  I  don't  remem 
ber  like  I  used  to.  Didn't  he  marry  a  Rams- 
bottom  ? 

Mrs.  R.  No.  Stay,  I'll  tell  you  who  he  married 
presently.  Oh,  stay  !  why,  I'll  tell  you  who  he 


270  GEORGIA   SCENES 

married  !  He  married  old  daddy  Johnny  Hooer's 
da'ter  Mournin*. 

Mrs.  S.  Why,  la !  messy  on  me,  so  he  did  ! 

Mrs.  B.  Why,  did  he  marry  a  Hooer  ? 

Mrs.  8.  Why,  to  be  sure  he  did.  You  knew 
Mournin*. 

Mrs.  B.  Oh,  mighty  well ;  but  I'd  forgot  that 
Brother  Smith  married  her.  I  really  thought  he 
married  a  Ramsbottom. 

Mrs.  R.  Oh  no,  bless  your  soul,  honey,  he 
married  Mournin' ! 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  the  law  me,  Fm  clear  beat ! 

Mrs.  S.  Oh,  it's  so,  you  may  be  sure  it  is. 

Mrs.  B.  Emph,  emph,  emph,  emph!  And 
Brother  Smith  married  Mournin'  Hooer !  Well, 
I'm  clear  put  out  !  Seems  to  me  I'm  gittin' 
mighty  forgetful,  somehow. 

Mrs.  S.  Oh  yes,  he  married  Mournin',  and  I 
saw  her  when  she  joined  society. 

Mrs.  B.  Why,  you  don't  tell  me  so  ! 

Mrs.  S.  Oh,  it's  the  truth.  She  didn't  join  till 
after  she  was  married,  and  the  church  took  on 
mightily  about  his  marrying  one  out  of  society. 
But  after  she  joined  they  all  got  satisfied. 

Mrs.  R.  Why,  la  me  !  the  seven  stars  is  'way 
over  here ! 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  let's  light  our  pipes  and  take  a 
short  smoke  and  go  to  bed.  How  did  you  come 
on  raisin'  chickens  this  year,  Mis'  Shad  ? 

Mrs.  S.  La  messy,  honey  !  I  have  had  mighty 
bad  luck.  I  had  the  prettiest  pa'cel  you  'most 
ever  seed  till  the  varment  took  to  killin'  'em. 

Mrs.  R.  and  Mrs.  B.  The  varment ! ! 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  271 

Mrs.  S.  Oh,  dear,  yes.  The  hawk  catched  a 
powerful  sight  of  them ;  and  then  the  varment 
took  to  "em,  and  nat'ly  took  'em  fore  and  aft, 
bodily,  till  they  left  'most  none  at  all  hardly. 
Sucky  counted  'em  up  t'other  day,  and  there 
warn't  but  thirty-nine,  she  said,  countin'  in  the 
old  speckle  hen's  chickens  that  jist  come  off  of 
her  nest. 

Mrs.  R.  and  Mrs.  B.  Humph-h-h-h  ! 

Mrs.  R.  Well,  I've  had  bad  luck,  too.  Billy's 
hound-dogs  broke  up  'most  all  my  nests. 

Mrs.  B.  Well,  so  they  did  me,  Mis'  Reed.  I 
always  did  despise  a  hound-dog  upon  the  face 
of  yea'th. 

Mrs.  R.  Oh,  they're  the  bawlinest,  squallin- 
est,  thievishest  things  ever  was  about  one  ;  but 
Billy  will  have  'em,  and  I  think  in  my  soul  his 
old  Troup's  the  beat  of  all  creators  I  ever  seed 
in  all  my  born  days  a-suckin'  o'  hen's  eggs. 
He's  clean  'most  broke  me  up  entirely. 

Mrs.  S.  The  lackaday  ! 

Mrs.  R.  And  them  that  was  hatched  out, 
some  took  to  takin'  the  gaps,  and  some  the  pip, 
and  one  ailment  or  other,  till  they  'most  all 
died. 

Mrs.  S.  Well,  I  reckon  there  must  be  some- 
thin'  in  the  season  this  year  that  ain't  good  for 
fowls  ;  for  Larkin  Goodman's  brother  Jirnme's 
wife's  aunt  Penny  told  me  she  lost  'most  all  her 
fowls  with  different  sorts  of  ailments,  the  like 
of  which  she  never  seed  before.  They'd  jist  go 
'long  lookiu'  right  well,  and  tilt  right  over  back 
ward  (Mrs.  B.  The  law  !)  and  die  right  away 


272  GEORGIA    SCENES 

(Mrs.  R.  Did  you  ever  !),  with  a  sort  o'  some- 
thin7  like  the  blind  staggers. 

Mrs.  B.  and  Mrs.  R.   Messy  on  me  ! 

Mrs.  B.  I  reckon  they  must  have  eat  some- 
thin7  didn't  agree  with  them. 

Mrs.  8.  No,  they  didn't,  for  she  fed  'em  every 
mornin'  with  her  own  hand. 

Mrs.  B.  "Well,  it's  mighty  curious  ! 

A  short  pause  ensued,  which  was  broken  by 
Mrs.  Barney  with,  "And  Brother  Smith  married 
Mournin'  Hooer  !"  It  came  like  an  opiate  upon 
my  senses,  and  I  dropped  asleep. 

The  next  morning,  when  we  rose  from  our 
beds,  we  found  the  good  ladies  sitting  round 
the  fire  just  as  I  left  them,  for  they  rose  long 
before  us. 

Mrs.  Barney  was  just  in  the  act  of  ejaculating, 
"And  Brother  Smith  married  Mournin'— -"when 
she  was  interrupted  by  our  entry  into  the  dining- 
room.  We  were  hardly  seated  before  Mrs.  Reed 
began  to  verify  her  promise.  "Mr.  -  — ,"  said 
she  to  Ned,  "  didn't  you  say  last  night  that  them 
was  two  men  that  got  married  to  one  another  ?" 

"  Yes,  madam,"  said  Ned. 

"  And  didn't  you  say  they  raised  a  fine  pa'cel 
of  children  ?" 

"  Yes,  madam,  except  Billy.  I  said,  you  know, 
that  he  was  a  little  wild." 

"  Well,  yes ;  I  know  you  said  Billy  wasn't  as 
clever  as  the  rest  of  them.  But  we  old  women 
were  talking  about  it  last  night  after  you  went 
out,  and  none  of  us  could  make  it  out  how  they 
could  have  children ;  and  I  said,  I  reckoned  you 


A    SAGE    CONVERSATION  273 

wouldn't  mind  an  old  woman's  chat,  and,  there 
fore,  that  I  would  ask  you  how  it  could  be.  I 
suppose  you  won't  mind  telling  an  old  woman 
how  it  was  ?" 

"  Certainly  not,  madam.  They  were  both  wid 
owers  before  they  fell  in  love  with  each  other 
and  got  married." 

"  The  lackaday  !  I  wonder  none  of  us  thought 
o'  that.  And  they  had  children  before  they  got 
married  ?" 

"  Yes,  madam  ;  they  had  none  afterwards  that 
I  heard  of." 

We  were  here  informed  that  our  horses  were 
in  waiting,  and  we  bade  the  good  ladies  farewell. 

HALL. 


THE   SHOOTING  MATCH 

SHOOTIKG-MATCHES  are  probably  nearly  coeval 
with  the  colonization  of  Georgia.  They  are  still 
common  throughout  the  Southern  States,,  though 
they  are  not  as  common  as  they  were  twenty- 
five  or  thirty  years  ago.  Chance  led  me  to  one 
about  a  year  ago.  I  was  travelling  in  one  of  the 
northeastern  counties,  when  I  overtook  a  swarthy, 
bright-eyed,  smerky  little  fellow,  riding  a  small 
pony  and  bearing  on  his  shoulder  a  long,  heavy 
rifle,  which,  judging  from  its  looks,  I  should  say 
had  done  service  in  Morgan's  corps. 

"Good -morning,  sir!"  said  I,  reining  up  my 
horse  as  I  came  beside  him. 

"  How  goes  it,  stranger  ?"  said  he,  with  a 
tone  of  independence  and  self-confidence  that 
awakened  my  curiosity  to  know  a  little  of  his 
character. 

"  Going  driving  ?"  inquired  I. 

"Not  exactly/'  replied  he,  surveying  my  horse 
with  a  quizzical  smile.  "  I  haven't  been  a-driv- 
ing  ~by  myself  for  a  year  or  two ;  and  my  nose  has 
got  so  bad  lately  I  can't  carry  a  cold  trail  with 
out  hounds  to  help  me." 

Alone,  and  without  hounds  as  he  was,  the 
question  was  rather  a  silly  one ;  but  it  answered 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  275 

the  purpose  for  which  it  was  put,  which  was  only 
to  draw  him  into  conversation,  and  I  proceeded 
to  make  as  decent  a  retreat  as  I  could. 

"I  didn't  know/'  said  I,  "  but  that  you  were 
going  to  meet  the  huntsmen,  or  going  to  your 
stand." 

"Ah,  sure  enough,"  rejoined  he,  "that  mout 
be  a  bee,  as  the  old  woman  said  when  she  killed 
a  wasp.  It  seems  to  me  I  ought  to  know  you." 

"  Well,  if  you  ought.,  why  don't  you  ?" 

"  What  mout  your  name  be  ?" 

"  It  might  be  anything,"  said  I,  with  borrowed 
wit,  for  I  knew  my  man,  and  knew  what  kind  of 
conversation  would  please  him  most. 

"  Well,  what  is  it,  then  ?" 

"  It  is  Hall,"  said  I ;  "  but  you  know  it  might 
as  well  have  been  anything  else." 

"Pretty  digging!"  said  he.  "I  find  you're 
not  the  fool  I  took  you  to  be  ;  so  here's  to  a 
better  acquaintance  with  you  !" 

"With  all  my  heart,"  returned  I;  "but  you 
must  be  as  clever  as  I've  been,  and  give  me  your 
name." 

"To  be  sure  I  will,  my  old  coon;  take  it — 
take  it,  and  welcome.  Anything  else  about  me 
you'd  like  to  have  ?" 

"No,"  said  I,  "there's  nothing  else  about  you 
worth  having." 

"  Oh  yes,  there  is,  stranger !  Do  you  see 
this  ?"  holding  up  his  ponderous  rifle  with  an 
ease  that  astonished  me.  "If  you  will  go  with 
me  to  the  shooting-match,  and  see  me  knock  out 
the  bull's-eye  with  her  a  few  times,  you'll  agree 


276  GEORGIA    SCENES 

the  old  Soap-stick's  worth  something  when  Billy 
Curlew  puts  his  shoulder  to  her." 

This  short  sentence  was  replete  with  informa 
tion  to  me.  It  taught  me  that  my  companion 
was  Billy  Curlew  ;  that  he  was  going  to  a  shoot 
ing-match  ;  that  he  called  his  rifle  the  Soap- 
stick,  and  that  he  was  very  confident  of  winning 
beef  with  her  ;  or,  which  is  nearly  but  not  quite 
the  same  thing,  driving  the  cross  ivith  her. 

"Well/7  said  I,  "if  the  shooting-match  is  not 
too  far  out  of  my  way,  Fll  go  to  it  with  pleasure." 

"Unless  your  way  lies  through  the  woods 
from  here/7  said  Billy,  "  it  711  not  be  much  out 
of  your  way;  for  it's  only  a  mile  ahead  of  us, 
and  there  is  no  other  road  for  you  to  take  till 
you  get  there ;  and  as  that  thing  you're  riding 
in  a'n't  well  suited  to  fast  travelling  among 
brushy  knobs,  I  reckon  you  won't  lose  much  by 
going  by.  I  reckon  you  hardly  ever  was  at  a 
shooting-match,  stranger,  from  the  cut  of  your 
coat  ?" 

"Oh  yes/7  returned  I,  "many  a  time.  I  won 
beef  at  one  when  I  was  hardly  old  enough  to 
hold  a  shot-gun  offhand.77 

"  Children  don't  go  to  shooting-matches  about 
here/'  said  he,  with  a  smile  of  incredulity.  "  I 
never  heard  of  but  one  that  did,  and  he  was  a 
little  swinge  cat.  He  was  born  a-shooting,  and 
killed  squirrels  before  he  was  weaned.77 

"  Nor  did  /  ever  hear  of  but  one,"  replied  I, 
"and  that  one  was  myself." 

"And  where  did  you  win  beef  so  young, 
stranger  ?" 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  277 

"  At  Berry  Adams's." 

"  Why,  stop,  stranger,  let  me  look  at  you 
good  !  Is  your  name  Lyman  Hall  ?" 

"  The  very  same,"  said  I. 

"  Well,  dang  my  buttons,  if  you  a'n't  the  very 
boy  my  daddy  used  to  tell  me  about.  I  was  too 
young  to  recollect  you  myself ;  but  Fve  heard 
daddy  talk  about  you  many  a  time.  I  believe 
mammy's  got  a  neck  -  handkerchief  now  that 
daddy  won  on  your  shooting  at  Collen  Reid's 
store  when  you  were  hardly  knee-high.  Come 
along,  Lyman,  and  I'll  go  my  death  upon  you  at 
the  shooting-match,  with  the  old  Soap-stick  at 
your  shoulder  I" 

"Ah,  Billy,"  said  I,  "the  old  Soap-stick  will 
do  much  better  at  your  own  shoulder.  It  was 
my  mother's  notion  that  sent  me  to  the  shoot 
ing  -  match  at  Berry  Adams's  ;  and,  to  tell  the 
honest  truth,  it  was  altogether  a  chance  shot 
that  made  me  win  beef ;  but  that  wasn't  gener 
ally  known,  and  'most  everybody  believed  that  I 
was  carried  there  on  account  of  my  skill  in  shoot 
ing  ;  and  my  fame  was  spread  far  and  wide,  I 
well  remember.  I  remember  too,  perfectly  well, 
your  father's  bet  on  me  at  the  store.  He  was  at 
the  shooting-match,  and  nothing  could  make  him 
believe  but  that  I  was  a  great  shot  with  a  rifle 
as  well  as  a  shot-gun.  Bet  he  would  on  me,  in 
spite  of  all  I  could  say,  though  I  assured  him 
that  I  had  never  shot  a  rifle  in  my  life.  It  so 
happened,  too,  that  there  were  but  two  bullets, 
or,  rather,  a  bullet  and  a  half ;  and  so  confident 
was  your  father  in  my  skill  that  he  made  me 


278  GEORGIA    SCENES 

shoot  the  half -bullet ;  and,,  strange  to  tell,  by 
another  chance  shot  Fd  like  to  have  drove  the 
cross  and  won  his  bet." 

"  Now  I  know  you're  the  very  chap,  for  I  heard 
daddy  tell  that  very  thing  about  the  half-bullet. 
Don't  say  anything  about  it,  Lyman,  and  darn 
my  old  shoes  if  I  don't  tare  the  lint  oil  the  boys 
with  you  at  the  shooting-match  !  They'll  never 
'spect  such  a  looking  man  as  you  are  of  know 
ing  anything  about  a  rifle.  I'll  risk  your  chance 
shots.'' 

I  soon  discovered  that  the  father  had  eaten 
sour  grapes,  and  the  son's  teeth  were  on  edge  ; 
for  Billy  was  just  as  incorrigibly  obstinate  in  his 
belief  of  my  dexterity  with  a  rifle  as  his  father 
had  been  before  him. 

We  soon  reached  the  place  appointed  for  the 
shooting-match.  It  went  by  the  name  of  Sims's 
Cross  Koads,  because  here  two  roads  intersected 
each  other  ;  and  because,  from  the  time  that  the 
first  had  been  laid  out,  Archibald  Sims  had  re 
sided  there.  Archibald  had  been  a  justice  of  the 
peace  in  his  day  (and  where  is  the  man  of  his 
age  in  Georgia  whc  has  not  ?) ;  consequently,  he 
was  called  Squire  Sims.  It  is  the  custom  in 
this  State,  when  a  man  has  once  acquired  a  title, 
civil  or  military,  to  force  it  upon  him  as  long  as 
he  lives  ;  hence  the  countless  number  of  titled 
personages  who  are  introduced  in  these  sketches. 

We  stopped  at  the  squire's  door.  Billy  hasti 
ly  dismounted,  gave  me  the  shake  of  the  hand 
which  he  had  been  reluctantly  reserving  for  a 
mile  back,  and,  leading  me  up  to  the  squire, 


THE    SHOOTING -MATCH  279 

thus  introduced  me :  "  Uncle  Archy,  this  is 
Lyman  Hall  ;  and  for  all  you  see  him  in  these 
fine  clothes,  he's  a  swinge  cat ;  a  dam  sight  clev 
erer  fellow  than  he  looks  to  be.  Wait  till  you 
see  him  lift  the  old  Soap-stick  and  draw  a  bead 
upon  the  bull's-eye.  You  gwine  to  see  fun  here 
to-day.  Don't  say  nothing  about  it." 

"Well,  Mr.  Swinge -cat/'  said  the  squire, 
"here's  to  a  better  acquaintance  with  you," 
offering  me  his  hand. 

"  How  goes  it,  Uncle  Archy  ?"  said  I,  taking 
his  hand  warmly  (for  I  am  always  free  and  easy 
with  those  who  are  so  with  me  ;  and  in  this 
course  I  rarely  fail  to  please).  "  How's  the  old 
woman  ?" 

"Egad,"  said  the  squire,  chuckling,  "there 
you're  too  hard  for  me ;  for  she  died  two-and- 
twenty  years  ago,  and  I  haven't  heard  a  word 
from  her  since." 

"What !  and  you  never  married  again  ?" 

"  Never,  as  God's  my  judge  !"  (A  solemn  as 
severation,  truly,  upon  so  light  a  subject.) 

"  Well,  that's  not  my  fault." 

"  No,  nor  it's  not  mine  wither,"  said  the  squire. 

Here  we  were  interrupted  by  the  cry  of  another 
Ransy  Sniffle  :  "  Hello,  here  !  All  you  as  wish 
to  put  in  for  the  shoot'n'-match,  come  on  here  ! 
for  the  putt'n'  in's  riddy  to  begin." 

About  sixty  persons,  including  mere  spectators, 
had  collected,  the  most  of  whom  were  more  or 
less  obedient  to  the  call  of  Mealy  Whitecotton — 
for  that  was  the  name  of  the  self -constituted 
commander-in-chief.  Some  hastened  and  some 


280  GEORGIA    SCENES 

loitered,  as  they  desired  to  be  first  or  last  on  the 
list ;  for  they  shoot  in  the  order  in  which  their 
names  are  entered. 

The  beef  was  not  present,  nor  is  it  ever  upon 
such  occasions ;  but  several  of  the  company  had 
seen  it,  who  all  concurred  in  the  opinion  that  it 
was  a  good  beef,  and  well  worth  the  price  that 
was  set  upon  it — eleven  dollars.  A  general  in 
quiry  ran  round,  in  order  to  form  some  opinion 
as  to  the  number  of  shots  that  would  be  taken ; 
for,  of  course,  the  price  of  a  shot  is  cheapened  in 
proportion  to  the  increase  of  that  number.  It 
was  soon  ascertained  that  not  more  than  twenty 
persons  would  take  chances ;  but  these  twenty 
agreed  to  take  the  number  of  shots  at  twenty- 
five  cents  each. 

The  competitors  now  began  to  give  in  their 
names  ;  some  for  one,  some  for  two,  three,  and  a 
few  for  as  many  as  four  shots. 

Billy  Curlew  hung  back  to  the  last ;  and  when 
the  list  was  offered  him,  five  shots  remained  un 
disposed  of. 

"  How  many  shots  left  ?"  inquired  Billy. 

"  Five,"  was  the  reply. 

"  Well,  I  take  'em  all.  Put  down  four  shots  to 
me,  and  one  to  Lyman  Hall,  paid  for  by  William 
Curlew/7 

I  was  thunderstruck;  not  at  his  proposition 
to  pay  for  my  shot,  because  I  knew  that  Billy 
meant  it  as  a  token  of  friendship,  and  he  would 
have  been  hurt  if  I  had  refused  to  let  him  do  me 
this  favor  j  but  at  the  unexpected  announcement 
of  my  name  as  a  competitor  for  beef,  at  least  one 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  281 

hundred  miles  from  the  place  of  my  residence. 
I  was  prepared  for  a  challenge  from  Billy  to  some 
of  his  neighbors  for  a  private  match  upon  me  ; 
but  not  for  this. 

I  therefore  protested  against  his  putting  in  for 
me,  and  urged  every  reason  to  dissuade  him  from 
it  that  I  could,  without  wounding  his  feelings. 

"  Put  it  down  !"  said  Billy,  with  the  authority 
of  an  emperor,  and  with  a  look  that  spoke  volumes 
intelligible  to  every  by-stander.  "  Reckon  I  don't 
know  what  I'm  about  ?"  Then  wheeling  off, 
and  muttering  in  an  under,  self-confident  tone, 
"Dang  old  Roper/7  continued  he,  "if  he  don't 
knock  that  cross  to  the  north  corner  of  creation 
and  back  again  before  a  cat  can  lick  her  foot  !" 

Had  I  been  king  of  the  cat  tribe  they  could 
not  have  regarded  me  with  more  curious  atten 
tion  than  did  the  whole  company  from  this 
moment.  Every  inch  of  me  was  examined  with 
the  nicest  scrutiny ;  and  some  plainly  expressed 
by  their  looks  that  they  never  would  have  taken 
me  for  such  a  bite.  I  saw  no  alternative  but 
to  throw  myself  upon  a  third  chance  shot;  for 
though,  by  the  rules  of  the  sport,  I  would  have 
been  allowed  to  shoot  by  proxy,  by  all  the  rules 
of  good-breeding  I  was  bound  to  shoot  in  person. 
It  would  have  been  unpardonable  to  disappoint 
the  expectations  which  had  been  raised  on  me. 
Unfortunately,  too,  for  me,  the  match  differed  in 
one  respect  from  those  which  I  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  attending  in  my  younger  days.  In  olden 
time  the  contest  was  carried  on  chiefly  with  shot 
guns,  a  generic  term  which,  in  those  days,  em- 


282  GEORGIA    SCENES 

braced  three  descriptions  of  firearms — Indian- 
traders  (a  long,  cheap,  but  sometimes  excellent 
kind  of  gun  that  Mother  Britain  used  to  send 
hither  for  traffic  with  the  Indians),  the  large  mus 
ket,  and  the  shot -gun;  properly  so-called  rifles 
were,  however,  always  permitted  to  compete  with 
them,  under  equitable  restrictions.  These  were, 
that  they  should  be  fired  offhand,  while  the  shot 
guns  were  allowed  a  rest,  the  distance  being 
equal ;  or  that  the  distance  should  be  one  hun 
dred  yards  for  a  rifle  to  sixty  for  the  shot-gun, 
the  mode  of  firing  being  equal. 

But  this  was  a  match  of  rifles  exclusively ;  and 
these  are  by  far  the  most  common  at  this  time. 

Most  of  the  competitors  fire  at  the  same  target, 
which  is  usually  a  board  from  nine  inches  to  a 
foot  wide,  charred  on  one  side  as  black  as  it  can 
be  made  by  fire,  without  impairing  materially  the 
uniformity  of  its  surface  ;  on  the  darkened  side 
of  which  is  pegged  a  square  piece  of  white  paper, 
which  is  larger  or  smaller  according  to  the  dis 
tance  at  which  it  is  to  be  placed  from  the  marks 
men.  This  is  almost  invariably  sixty  yards,  and 
for  it  the  paper  is  reduced  to  about  two  and  a 
half  inches  square.  Out  of  the  centre  of  it  is  cut 
a  rhombus  of  about  the  width  of  an  inch,  meas 
ured  diagonally  ;  this  is  the  bull's-eye  or  diamond, 
as  the  marksmen  choose  to  call  it ;  in  the  centre 
of  this  is  the  cross.  But  every  man  is  permitted 
to  fix  his  target  to  his  own  taste  ;  and,  according 
ly,  some  remove  one-fourth  of  the  paper,  cutting 
from  the  centre  of  the  square  to  the  two  lower 
corners,  so  as  to  leave  a  large  angle  opening  from 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  283 

the  centre  downward,  while  others  reduce  the 
angle  more  or  less  ;  but  it  is  rarely  the  case  that 
all  are  not  satisfied  with  one  of  these  figures. 

The  beef  is  divided  into  five  prizes,  or,  as  they 
are  commonly  termed,  five  quarters — the  hide  and 
tallow  counting  as  one.  For  several  years  after 
the  Revolutionary  War  a.  sixth  was  added — the 
lead  which  was  shot  in  the  match.  This  was  the 
prize  of  the  sixth  best  shot ;  and  it  used  to  be 
carefully  extracted  from  the  board  or  tree  in 
which  it  was  lodged,  and  afterwards  remoulded. 
But  this  grew  out  of  the  exigency  of  the  times, 
and  has,  I  believe,  been  long  since  abandoned 
everywhere. 

The  three  master  shots  and  rivals  were  Moses 
Firmby,  Larkin  Spivey,  and  Billy  Curlew  ;  to 
whom  was  added,  upon  this  occasion,  by  com 
mon  consent  and  with  awful  forebodings,  your 
humble  servant. 

The  target  was  fixed  at  an  elevation  of  about 
three  feet  from  the  ground  ;  and  the  judges  (Cap 
tain  Turner  and  Squire  Porter)  took  their  stands 
by  it,  joined  by  about  half  the  spectators. 

The  first  name  on  the  catalogue  was  Mealy 
Whitecotton.  Mealy  stepped  out,  rifle  in  hand, 
and  toed  the  mark.  His  rifle  was  about  three 
inches  longer  than  himself,  and  near  enough  his 
own  thickness  to  make  the  remark  of  Darby 
Chislom,  as  he  stepped  out,  tolerably  appropri 
ate :  "Here  comes  the  corn-stock  and  the  suck 
er  !"  said  Darby. 

"Kiss  my  foot !"  said  Mealy.  "The  way  I'll 
creep  into  that  bull's-eye's  a  fact." 


284  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"You'd  better  creep  into  your  hind  sight," 
said  Darby.  Mealy  raised  and  fired. 

(f  A  pretty  good  shot,  Mealy  I"  said  one. 

"  Yes,  a  blamed  good  shot  \"  said  a  second. 

"Well  done,  Meal  I"  said  a  third. 

I  was  rejoiced  when  one  of  the  company  in 
quired,  "  Where  is  it  ?"  for  I  could  hardly  believe 
they  were  founding  these  remarks  upon  the  evi 
dence  of  their  senses. 

"  Just  on  the  right-hand  side  of  the  bull's-eye," 
was  the  reply. 

I  looked  with  all  the  power  of  my  eyes,  but  was 
unable  to  discover  the  least  change  in'  the  sur 
face  of  the  paper.  Their  report,  however,  was 
true  ;  so  much  keener  is  the  vision  of  a  practised 
than  an  unpractised  eye. 

The  next  in  order  was  Hiram  Baugh.  Hiram 
was  like  some  race-horses  which  I  have  seen  ;  he 
was  too  good  not  to  contend  for  every  prize,  and 
too  good  for  nothing  ever  to  win  one. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  as  he  came  to  the  mark, 
"I  don't  say  that  I'll  win  beef,  but  if  my  piece 
don't  blow  I'll  eat  the  paper,  or  be  mighty  apt  to 
do  it,  if  you'll  b'lieve  my  racket.  My  powder  are 
not  good  powder,  gentlemen ;  I  bought  it  thum 
[from]  Zeb  Daggett,  and  gin  him  three-quar 
ters  of  a  dollar  a  pound  for  it ;  but  it  are  not 
what  I  call  good  powder,  gentlemen  ;  but  if  old 
Buck-killer  burns  it  clear,  the  boy  you  call  Hiram 
Baugh  eats  paper,  or  comes  mighty  near  it." 

"  Well,  blaze  away,"  said  Mealy,  "and  be  d — d 
to  you,  and  Zeb  Daggett,  and  your  powder,  and 
Buck -killer,  and  your  powder-horn  and  shot- 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  285 

pouch  to  boot !  How  long  yon  gwine  stand  thar 
talking  'fore  you  shoot  ?" 

"Never  mind,"  said  Hiram,  "I  can  talk  a 
little  and  shoot  a  little  too ;  but  that's  nothin'. 
Here  goes  !" 

Hiram  assumed  the  figure  of  a  note  of  interroga 
tion,  took  a  long  sight,  and  fired. 

"I've  eat  paper,"  said  he,  at  the  crack  of  the 
gun,  without  looking,  or  seeming  to  look,  towards 
the  target.  "  Buck-killer  made  a  clear  racket. 
Where  am  I,  gentlemen  ?" 

"You're  just  between  Mealy  and  the  dia 
mond,"  was  the  reply. 

"  I  said  I'd  eat  paper,  and  I've  done  it ;  haven't 
I,  gentlemen  ?" 

"  And  s'pose  you  have !"  said  Mealy ;  "  what  do 
that  'mount  to  ?  You'll  not  win  beef,  and  never 
did." 

"  Be  that  as  it  mout  be,  I've  beat  Meal  'Cotton 
mighty  easy  ;  and  the  boy  you  call  Hiram  Baugh 
are  able  to  do  it." 

"  And  what  do  that  'mount  to  ?  Who  the  devil 
a'n't  able  to  beat  Meal  'Cotton  ?  I  don't  make 
no  pretence  of  bein'  nothin'  great,  nohow  ;  but 
you  always  makes  out  as  if  you  were  gwine  to 
keep  'em  makin'  crosses  for  you  constant,  and 
then  do  nothin'  but  '  eat  paper  '  at  last ;  and  that's 
a  long  way  from  eatin'  beef,  'cordin'  to  Meal  'Cot 
ton's  notions,  as  you  call  him." 

Simon  Stow  was  now  called  on. 

" Oh,  Lord  !" exclaimed  two  or  three  ;  "now  we 
have  it.  It'll  take  him  as  long  to  shoot  as  it  would 
take  Squire  Dobbins  to  run  round  a  track  o'  land." 


286  GEORGIA    SCENES 

"Good-bye,  boys/'  said  Bob  Martin. 

"  Where  are  you  going,  Bob  ?" 

"  Going  to  gather  in  my  crop ;  I'll  be  back 
agin,  though,  by  the  time  Sime  Stow  shoots." 

Simon  was  used  to  all  this,  and  therefore  it 
did  not  disconcert  him  in  the  least.  He  went  off 
and  brought  his  own  target,  and  set  it  up  with 
his  own  hand. 

He  then  wiped  out  his  rifle  ;  rubbed  the  pan 
with  his  hat ;  drew  a  piece  of  tow  through  the 
touchhole  with  his  wiper ;  filled  his  charger  with 
great  care ;  poured  the  powder  into  the  rifle  with 
equal  caution;  shoved  in  with  his  finger  the  two 
or  three  vagrant  grains  that  lodged  round  the 
mouth  of  his  piece;  took  out  a  handful  of  bul 
lets,  looked  them  all  over  carefully,  selected  one 
without  flaw  or  wrinkle;  drew  out  his  patching, 
found  the  most  even  part  of  it ;  sprung  open  the 
grease-box  in  the  breech  of  his  rifle ;  took  up  just 
so  much  grease,  distributed  it  with  great  equal 
ity  over  the  chosen  part  of  his  patching ;  laid  it 
over  the  muzzle  of  his  rifle,  grease  side  down; 
placed  his  ball  upon  it,  pressed  it  a  little;  then 
took  it  up  and  turned  the  neck  a  little  more  per 
pendicularly  downward,  placed  his  knife-handle 
on  it,  just  buried  it  in  the  mouth  of  the  rifle; 
cut  off  the  redundant  patching  just  above  the 
bullet,  looked  at  it,  and  shook  his  head,  in  token 
that  he  had  cut  off  too  much  or  too  little — no  one 
knew  which — sent  down  the  ball ;  measured  the 
contents  of  his  gun  with  his  first  and  second  fin 
gers  on  the  protruding  part  of  the  ramrod;  shook 
his  head  again,  to  signify  there  was  too  much  or 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  387 

too  little  powder  ;  primed  carefully ;  placed  an 
arched  piece  of  tin  over  the  hind  sight  to  shade 
it ;  took  his  place  ;  got  a  friend  to  hold  his  hat 
over  the  the  fore  sight  to  shade  it ;  took  a  very 
long  sight,  fired,  and  didn't  even  eat  the  paper. 

"My  piece  was  badly  loadned,"  said  Simon, 
when  he  learned  the  place  of  his  ball. 

"  Oh,  you  didn't  take  time,"  said  Mealy.  "No 
man  can  shoot  that's  in  such  a  hurry  as  you  is. 
I'd  hardly  got  to  sleep  'fore  I  heard  the  crack  o' 
the  gun." 

The  next  was  Moses  Firmby.  He  was  a  tall, 
slim  man,  of  rather  sallow  complexion  ;  and  it  is 
a  singular  fact  that  though  probably  no  part  of 
the  world  is  more  healthy  than  the  mountainous 
parts  of  Georgia,  the  mountaineers  have  not  gen 
erally  robust  frames  or  fine  complexions  ;  they 
are,  however,  almost  inexhaustible  by  toil.* 

Moses  kept  us  not  long  in  suspense.  His  rifle 
was  already  charged,  and  he  fixed  it  upon  the 
target  with  a  steadiness  of  nerve  and  aim  that 
was  astonishing  to  me  and  alarming  to  all  the 
rest.  A  few  seconds,  and  the  report  of  his  rifle 
broke  the  deathlike  silence  which  prevailed. 

"  No  great  harm  done  yet,"  said  Spivey,  mani 
festly  relieved  from  anxiety  by  an  event  which 
seemed  to  me  better  calculated  to  produce  de 
spair.  Firmby's  ball  had  cut  out  the  lower  angle 
of  the  diamond,  directly  on  a  right  line  with  the 
cross. 

Three  or  four  followed  him  without  bettering 
his  shot ;  all  of  whom,  however,  with  one  excep 
tion,  "eat  the  paper." 


288  GEOKGIA   SCENES 

It  now  came  to  Spivey's  turn.  There  was 
nothing  remarkable  in  his  person  or  manner. 
He  took  his  place,  lowered  his  rifle  slowly  from 
a  perpendicular  until  it  came  on  a  line  with  the 
mark,  held  it  there  like  a  vise  for  a  moment,  and 
fired. 

"  Pretty  sevigrous,  but  nothing  killing  yet," 
said  Billy  Curlew,  as  he  learned  the  place  of 
Spivey's  ball. 

Spivey's  ball  had  just  broken  the  upper  angle 
of  the  diamond,  beating  Firmby  about  half  its 
width. 

A  few  more  shots,  in  which  there  was  nothing 
remarkable,  brought  us  to  Billy  Curlew.  Billy 
stepped  out  with  much  confidence,  and  brought 
the  Soap-stick  to  an  order,  while  he  deliberately 
rolled  up  his  shirt  -  sleeves.  Had  I  judged  of 
Billy's  chance  of  success  from  the  looks  of  his 
gun,  I  should  have  said  it  was  hopeless.  The 
stock  of  Soap-stick  seemed  to  have  been  made 
with  a  case-knife,  and  had  it  been,  the  tool  would 
have  been  but  a  poor  apology  for  its  clumsy  ap 
pearance.  An  auger-hole  in  the  breech  served 
for  a  grease-box ;  a  cotton  string  assisted  a  single 
screw  in  holding  on  the  lock ;  and  the  thimbles 
were  made,  one  of  brass,  one  of  iron,  and  one 
of  tin. 

"Where's  Lark  Spivey's  bullet?"  called  out 
Billy  to  the  judges,  as  he  finished  rolling  up  his 
sleeves. 

"About  three-quarters  of  an  inch  from  the 
cross,"  was  the  reply. 

"  Well,  clear  the  way  I  the  Soap-stick's  com- 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  289 

ing,  and  she'll  be  along  in  there  among  'em  pres 
ently." 

Billy  now  planted  himself  astraddle,  like  an 
inverted  V ;  shot  forward  his  left  hip,  drew  his 
body  back  to  an  angle  of  about  forty-five  degrees 
with  the  plane  of  the  horizon,  brought  his  cheek 
down  close  to  the  breech  of  old  Soap-stick,  and 
fixed  her  upon  the  mark  with  untrembling  hand. 
His  sight  was  long,  and  the  swelling  muscles  of 
his  left  arm  led  me  to  believe  that  he  was  lessen 
ing  his  chance  of  success  with  every  half-second 
that  he  kept  it  burdened  Avith  his  ponderous 
rifle  ;  but  it  neither  flagged  nor  wavered  until 
Soap-stick  made  her  report. 

"  Where  am  I  ?"  said  Billy,  as  the  smoke  rose 
from  before  his  eye. 

"  You've  jist  touched  the  cross  on  the  lower 
side,"  was  the  reply  of  one  of  the  judges. 

"  I  was  afraid  I  was  drawing  my  bead  a  leetle 
too  fine,"  said  Billy.  "  Now,  Lyman,  you  see 
what  the  Soap-stick  can  do.  Take  her,  and 
show  the  boys  how  you  used  to  do  when  you 
was  a  baby." 

I  begged  to  reserve  my  shot  to  the  last ;  plead 
ing,  rather  sophistically,  that  it  was,  in  point  of 
fact,  one  of  Billy's  shots.  My  plea  was  rather 
indulged  than  sustained,  and  the  marksmen  who 
had  taken  more  than  one  shot  commenced  the 
second  round.  This  round  was  a  manifest  im 
provement  upon  the  first.  The  cross  was  driven 
three  times — once  by  Spivey,  once  by  Firmby, 
and  once  by  no  less  a  personage  than  Mealy 
Whitecotton,  whom  chance  seemed  to  favor  for 

19 


290  GEORGIA   SCENES 

this  time,  merely  that  he  might  retaliate  upon 
Hiram  Baugh  :  and  the  bull's-eye  was  disfigured 
out  of  all  shape. 

The  third  and  fourth  rounds  were  shot.  Billy 
discharged  his  last  shot,  which  left  the  rights  of 
parties  thus :  Billy  Curlew  first  and  fourth  choice, 
Spivey  second,  Firrnby  third,  and  Whitecotton 
fifth.  Some  of  my  readers  may  perhaps  be  curi 
ous  to  learn  how  a  distinction  comes  to  be  made 
between  several,  all  of  whom  drive  the  cross. 
The  distinction  is  perfectly  natural  and  equita 
ble.  Threads  are  stretched  from  the  uneffaced 
parts  of  the  once  intersecting  lines,  by  means  of 
which  the  original  position  of  the  cross  is  pre 
cisely  ascertained.  Each  bullet-hole  being  nice 
ly  pegged  up  as  it  is  made,  it  is  easy  to  ascertain 
its  circumference.  To  this  I  believe  they  usu 
ally,  if  not  invariably,  measure,  where  none  of 
the  balls  touch  the  cross  ;  but  if  the  cross  be 
driven,  they  measure  from  it  to  the  centre  of 
the  bullet -hole.  To  make  a  draw -shot,  there 
fore,  between  two  who  drive  the  cross,  it  is  nec 
essary  that  the  centre  of  both  balls  should  pass 
directly  through  the  cross  —  a  thing  that  very 
rarely  happens. 

The  Bite  alone  remained  to  shoot.  Billy  wiped 
out  his  rifle  carefully,  loaded  her  to  the  top  of 
his  skill,  ar.d  handed  her  to  me.  "Now,"  said 
he,  "Lyman,  draw  a  fine  bead,  but  not  too  fine ; 
for  Soap-stick  bears  up  her  ball  well.  Take  care, 
and  don't  touch  the  trigger  until  you've  got 
your  bead,  for  she's  spring -trigger'd,  and  goes 
mighty  easy ;  but  you  hold  her  to  the  place  you 


THE   SHOOTING -MATCH  291 

want  her,  and  if  she  don't  go  there,  dang  old 
Roper." 

I  took  hold  of  Soap-stick,  and  lapsed  imme 
diately  into  the  most  hopeless  despair.  I  am 
sure  I  never  handled  as  heavy  a  gun  in  all  my 
life.  "Why,  Billy/'  said  I,  "you  little  mortal, 
you  !  what  do  you  use  such  a  gun  as  this  for  ?" 

"  Look  at  the  bull's-eye  yonder  !"  said  he. 

"True,"  said  I,  "but  /can't  shoot  her;  it  is 
impossible." 

"Go  'long,  you  old  coon  !"  said  Billy;  "I  see 
what  you're  at,"  intimating  that  all  this  was 
merely  to  make  the  coming  shot  the  more  re 
markable.  "  Daddy's  little  boy  don't  shoot 
anything  but  the  old  Soap-stick  here  to-day,  I 
know." 

The  judges,  I  knew,  were  becoming  impatient, 
and,  withal,  my  situation  was  growing  more  em 
barrassing  every  second ;  so  I  e'en  resolved  to  try 
the  Soap-stick  without  further  parley. 

I  stepped  out,  and  the  most  intense  interest 
was  excited  all  around  me,  and  it  flashed  like 
electricity  around  the  target,  as  I  judged  from 
the  anxious  gaze  of  all  in  that  direction. 

Policy  dictated  that  I  should  fire  with  a  fall 
ing  rifle,  and  I  adopted  this  mode,  determining 
to  fire  as  soon  as  the  sights  came  on  a  line  with 
the  diamond,  bead  or  no  bead.  Accordingly,  I 
commenced  lowering  old  Soap -stick;  but,  in 
spite  of  all  my  muscular  powers,  she  was  strict 
ly  obedient  to  the  laws  of  gravitation,  and  came 
down  with  a  uniformly  accelerated  velocity. 
Before  I  could  arrest  her  downward  flight  she 


292  GEORGIA    SCENES 

had  not  only  passed  the  target,  but  was  making 
rapid  encroachments  on  my  own  toes. 

"Why,  he's  the  weakest  man  in  the  arms  I 
ever  seed,"  said  one,  in  a  half-whisper. 

"It's  only  his  fun/'  said  Billy;  "I  know 
him." 

"It  may  be  fun,"  said  the  other,  "but  it 
looks  mightily  like  yearnest  to  a  man  up  a 
tree." 

I  now,  of  course,  determined  to  reverse  the 
mode  of  firing,  and  put  forth  all  my  physical 
energies  to  raise  Soap-stick  to  the  mark.  The 
effort  silenced  Billy,  and  gave  tongue  to  all  his 
companions.  I  had  just  strength  enough  to 
master  Soap -stick's  obstinate  proclivity,  and, 
consequently,  my  nerves  began  to  exhibit  palpa 
ble  signs  of  distress  with  her  first  imperceptible 
movement  upward,  A  trembling  commenced  in 
my  arms,  increased,  and  extended  rapidly  to  my 
body  and  lower  extremities  ;  so  that,  by  the  time 
that  I  had  brought  Soap-stick  up  to  the  mark 
I  was  shaking  from  head  to  foot,  exactly  like  a 
man  under  the  continued  action  of  a  strong  gal 
vanic  battery.  In  the  meantime  my  friends 
gave  vent  to  their  feelings  freely. 

"I  swear  poin'-blank,"  said  one,  "that  man 
can't  shoot." 

"  He  used  to  shoot  well,"  said  another  ;  "  but 
can't  now,  nor  never  could." 

"  You  better  git  away  from  'bout  that  mark  !" 
bawled  a  third,  "  for  I'll  be  dod  darned  if  Broad 
cloth  don't  give  some  of  you  the  dry  gripes  if 
you  stand  too  close  thare." 


THE    SHOOTING -MATCH  293 

"The  stranger's  got  the  peedoddles,"  *  said  a 
fourth,  with  humorous  gravity. 

"  If  he  had  bullets  enough  in  his  gun  he'd 
shoot  a  ring  round  the  bull's-eye  big  as  a  spin 
ning-wheel,"  said  a  fifth. 

As  soon  as  I  found  that  Soap-stick  was  high 
enough  (for  I  made  no  further  use  of  the  sights 
than  to  ascertain  this  fact),  I  pulled  trigger,  and 
off  she  went.  I  have  always  found  that  the 
most  creditable  way  of  relieving  myself  of  deri 
sion  was  to  heighten  it  myself  as  much  as  possible. 
It  is  a  good  plan  in  all  circles,  but  by  far  the 
best  which  can  be  adopted  among  the  plain, 
rough  farmers  of  the  country.  Accordingly,  I 
brought  old  Soap-stick  to  an  order  with  an  air 
of  triumph,  tipped  Billy  a  wink,  and  observed, 
"Now,  Billy,  's  your  time  to  make  your  fortune. 
Bet  'em  two  to  one  that  I've  knocked  out  the 
cross." 

"No,  I'll  be  dod  blamed  if  I  do,"  said  Billy; 
"but  I'll  bet  you  two  to  one  you  ha'n't  hit  the 
plank." 

"Ah,  Billy,"  said  I,  "I  was  joking  about 
betting,  for  I  never  bet ;  nor  would  I  have  you 
to  bet :  indeed,  I  do  not  feel  exactly  right  in 
shooting  for  beef,  for  it  is  a  species  of  gaming 

*  This  word  was  entirely  new  to  me  ;  but  like  most,  if 
not  all,  words  in  use  among  the  common  people,  it  is 
doubtless  a  legitimate  English  word,  or,  rather,  a  com 
pound  of  two  words,  the  last  a  little  corrupted,  and  was 
very  aptly  applied  in  this  instance.  It  is  a  compound 
of  "pee,"  to  peep  with  one  eye,  and  " daddle,"  to  totter 
or  wabble. 


294  GEORGIA    SCENES 

at  last ;  but  Fll  say  this  much,  if  that  cross  isn't 
knocked  out  I'll  never  shoot  for  beef  again  as 
long  as  I  live." 

"By  dod,"  said  Mealy  Whitecotton,  "you'll 
lose  no  great  things  at  that !" 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  I  reckon  I  know  a  little  about 
wabbling.  Is  it  possible,  Billy,  a  man  who 
shoots  as  well  as  you  do  never  practised  shoot 
ing  with  the  double  wabble  ?  It's  the  greatest 
take  in  in  the  world  when  you  learn  to  drive  the 
cross  with  it.  Another  sort  for  getting  bets 
upon,  to  the  drop-sight,  with  a  single  wabble  ! 
And  the  Soap-stick's  the  very  yarn  for  it." 

"  Tell  you  what,  stranger,"  said  one,  "  you're 
too  hard  for  us  all  here.  We  never  Jiearn  o' 
that  sort  o'  shoot'n'  in  these  parts." 

"Well,"  returned  I,  "you've  seen  it  now,  and 
I'm  the  boy  that  can  do  it." 

The  judges  were  now  approaching  with  the 
target,  and  a  singular  combination  of  circum 
stances  had  kept  all  my  party  in  utter  ignorance 
of  the  result  of  my  shot.  Those  about  the  target 
had  been  prepared  by  Billy  Curlew  for  a  great 
shot  from  me  ;  their  expectations  had  received 
assurance  from  the  courtesy  which  had  been  ex 
tended  to  me  ;  and  nothing  had  happened  to 
disappoint  them  but  the  single  caution  to  them 
against  the  "dry  gripes,"  which  was  as  likely  to 
have  been  given  in  irony  as  in  earnest ;  for  my 
agonies  under  the  weight  of  the  Soap-stick  were 
either  imperceptible  to  them  at  the  distance  of 
sixty  yards,  or,  being  visible,  were  taken  as  the 
nourishes  of  an  expert  who  wished  to  "astonish 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  295 

the  natives."  The  other  party  did  not  think 
the  direction  of  my  ball  worth  the  trouble  of  a 
question  ;  or  if  they  did,  my  airs  and  harangue 
had  put  the  thought  to  flight  before  it  was  de 
livered.  Consequently,  they  were  all  transfixed 
with  astonishment  when  the  judges  presented 
the  target  to  them  and  gravely  observed,  "  It's 
only  second  best,  after  all  the  fuss." 

"  Second  best !"  exclaimed  I,  with  uncontrol 
lable  transports. 

The  whole  of  my  party  rushed  to  the  target 
to  have  the  evidence  of  their  senses  before  they 
would  believe  the  report ;  but  most  marvellous 
fortune  decreed  that  it  should  be  true.  Their 
incredulity  and  astonishment  were  most  fortu 
nate  for  me ;  for  they  blinded  my  hearers  to  the 
real  feelings  with  which  the  exclamation  was  ut 
tered,  and  allowed  me  sufficient  time. to  prepare 
myself  for  making  the  best  use  of  what  I  had 
said  before  with  a  very  diiferent  object. 

"Second  best!"  reiterated  I,  with  an  air  of 
despondency,  as  the  company  turned  from  the 
target  to  me.  "  Second  best  only  ?  Here,  Billy, 
my  son,  take  the  old  Soap-stick  ;  she's  a  good 
piece,  but  I'm  getting  too  old  and  dim-sighted  to 
shoot  a  rifle,  especially  with  the  drop-sight  and 
double  wabbles." 

"  Why,  good  Lord  almighty  !"  said  Billy,  with 
a  look  that  baffles  all  description,  "  a'n't  you  driv 
the  cross  ?" 

"  Oh,  driv  the  cross  !"  rejoined  I,  carelessly. 
"  What's  that  ?  Just  look  where  my  ball  is  !  I 
do  believe  in  my  soul  its  centre  is  a  full  quarter 


296  GEORGIA    SCENES 

of  an  inch  from  the  cross.  I  wanted  to  lay  the 
centre  of  the  bullet  upon  the  cross,  just  as  if 
you'd  put  it  there  with  your  fingers." 

Several  received  this  palaver  with  a  contempt 
uous  but  very  appropriate  curl  of  the  nose;  and 
Mealy  Whitecotton  offered  to  bet  a  half -pint 
"  that  I  couldn't  do  the  like  again  with  no  sort  of 
wabbles,  he  didn't  care  what."  But  I  had  already 
fortified  myself  on  this  quarter  by  my  morality. 
A  decided  majority,  however,  were  clearly  of 
opinion  that  I  was  serious;  and  they  regarded 
me  as  one  of  the  wonders  of  the  world.  Billy  in 
creased  the  majority  by  now  coming  out  fully  with 
my  history,  as  he  had  received  it  from  his  father; 
to  which  I  listened  with  quite  as  much  astonish 
ment  as  any  other  one  of  his  hearers.  He  begged 
me  to  go  home  with  him  for  the  night,  or,  as  he 
expressed  it,  "  to  go  home  with  him  and  swap  lies 
that  night,  and  it  shouldn't  cost  me  a  cent";  the 
true  reading  of  which  is,  that  if  I  would  go  home 
with  him,  and  give  him  the  pleasure  of  an  even 
ing's  chat  about  old  times,  his  house  should  be  as 
free  to  me  as  my  own.  But  I  could  not  accept 
his  hospitality  without  retracing  five  or  six  miles 
of  the  road  which  I  had  already  passed,  and  there 
fore  I  declined  it. 

"Well,  if  you  won't  go,  what  must  I  tell  the 
old  woman  for  you  ?  for  she'll  be  mighty  glad 
to  hear  from  the  boy  that  won  the  silk  handker 
chief  for  her,  and  I  expect  she'll  lick  me  for  not 
bringing  you  home  with  me." 

"Tell  her,"  said  I,  "that  I  send  her  a  quar 
ter  of  beef,  which  I  won,  as  I  did  the  handker- 


THE    SHOOTING-MATCH  297 

chief,  by  nothing  in  the  world  but  mere  good 
luck/' 

"  Hold  your  jaw,  Lyman  I"  said  Billy  ;  "  I  aVt 
a  gwine  to  tell  the  old  woman  any  such  lies ;  for 
she's  a  rael  regular  built  Meth'dist." 

As  I  turned  to  depart  — "  Stop  a  minute, 
stranger !"  said  one  ;  then,  lowering  his  voice  to 
a  confidential  but  distinctly  audible  tone,  "  What 
you  offering  for  ?"  continued  he.  I  assured  him 
I  was  not  a  candidate  for  anything;  that  I  had  ac 
cidentally  fallen  in  with  Billy  Curlew,  who  begged 
me  to  come  with  him  to  the  shooting  -  match, 
and,  as  it  lay  right  on  my  road,  I  had  stopped. 
"Oh,"  said  he,  with  a  conciliatory  nod,  "if 
you're  up  for  anything,  you  needn't  be  mealy- 
mouthed  about  it  'fore  us  boys  ;  for  we'll  all  go 
in  for  you  here  up  to  the  handle." 

"  Yes,"  said  Billy,  "  dang  old  Roper  if  we  don't 
go  our  death  for  you,  no  matter  who  offers  !  If 
ever  you  corne  out  for  anything,  Lyman,  jist  let 
the  boys  of  Upper  Ilogthief  know  it,  and  they'll 
go  for  you  to  the  hilt,  against  creation,  tit  or 
no  tit,  that's  the  tatur." 

I  thanked  them  kindly,  but  repeated  my  assur 
ances.  The  reader  will  not  suppose  that  the  dis 
trict  took  its  name  from  the  character  of  the  in 
habitants.  In  almost  every  county  in  the  State 
there  is  some  spot  or  district  which  bears  a 
contemptuous  appellation,  usually  derived  from 
local  rivalships,  or  from  a  single  accidental  cir 
cumstance.  HALL. 

THE   END 


BY  JOHN  KENDRICK  BANGS 


THE  PURSUIT  OF  THE  HOUSE-BOAT.  Being  Some  Further 
Account  of  the  Doings  of  the  Associated  Shades,  under 
the  Leadership  of  Sherlock  Holmes,  Esq.  Illustrated  by 
PETER  NEWELL.  16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25. 

A  HOUSE-BOAT  ON  THE  STYX.  Being  Some  Account  of 
the  Divers  Doings  of  the  Associated  Shades.  Illus 
trated.  16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25. 

Well  worth  reading.  ...  It  is  full  of  genuine  crisp  humor,  It  is  the 
host  work  of  length  Mr.  Bangs  has  yet  done,  and  he  is  to  be  congratu 
lated.  — y.  Y.  Mail  and  Express. 

THE  BICYCLERS,  and  Three  Other  Farces.  Illustrated. 
16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  §1  25. 

The  farces  are  crowded  with  comic  situations,  brilliant  repartee,  and 
wholesome  fun. — Brooklyn  Standard- Union. 

MR.  BONAPARTE  OF  CORSICA.  Illustrated  by  H.  W. 
McViCKAR.  16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25*. 

Mr.  Bangs  is  probably  the  generator  of  more  hearty,  healthful,  purely 
good-humored  laughs  thnn  any  other' half- dozen  men  of  our  country 
to  dny. — Interior,  Chicago. 

THE  IDIOT.    Illustrated.   16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  00. 

'•The  Idiot"  continues  to  be  as  amusing  and  as  triumphantly  bright 
in  the  volume  called  after  his  mime  as  in  'Coffee  and  Repartee." — 
Evangelist,  X.  Y. 

THE  WATER  GHOST,  and  Others.  Illustrated.  16mo, 
Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25, 

The  funny  side  of  the  ghost  genre  is  brought  out  with  originality,  and 
considering  the  morbidity  that  surrounds  the  subject,  it  is  a  wholesome 
thing  to  offer  the  public  a  series  of  tales  letting  in  the  sunlight  of  laughter. 
— Hartford  Courant. 

THREE  WEEKS  IN  POLITICS.  Illustrated.  32mo,  Cloth, 
Ornamental,  50  cents. 

COFFEE  AND  REPARTEE.  Illustrated.  32mo,  Cloth, 
Ornamental,  50  cents. 


PUBLISHED  UY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK 

g=-  The  above  works  ore  for  sale,  by  all  booksellers,  or  will  be  sent  by  the 
publishers  by  mail,  postage  prepaid,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


BY  BRANDER   MATTHEWS 


ASPECTS  OF  FICTION,  and  Other  Ventures  in  Criticism. 
Post  8vo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  Uncut  Edges  and  Gilt 
Top,  $1  50. 

Mr.  Matthevvs's  present  book  is  the  most  valuable  and  entertaining  that 
he  has  yet  produced. — Saturday  Evening  Gazette,  Boston. 

TALES  OF  FANTASY  AND  FACT.  With  an  Illustration  hy 
A.  B.  FROST.  Post  8vo.  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25. 

A  delightful  volume  of  sketch-stories.  .  .  .  These  stories  are  exquisite  in 
form  and  fancy.  The  interest  of  the  tales  is  of  a  bright  and  sparkling 
order,  and  the  humor  is  subtle  and  engaging,— Philadelphia  Bulletin. 

His  FATHER'S  SON.    A  Novel  of  New  York.    Illustrated 
by  T.  DE   THULSTRUP.     Post  8vo,  Cloth,  Ornamental, 
$1  50. 
We  can  hardly  doubt  this  to  be  Prof.  Matthews's  greatest  book. — Zion's 

Herald,  Boston. 

VIGNETTES  OF  MANHATTAN.     Illustrated  by  W.  T.  SMED- 
LEY,     Post  8vo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  50. 
From  the  collection  a  vivid  picture  may  be  drawn  of  the  great  city  — 

A'.  Y.  Evening  Post 

THE  STORY  OF  A  STORY,  and  Other  Stories.  Illustrated. 
16mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  25. 

STUDIES  OF  THE  STAGE.  With  Portrait.  16mo,  Cloth, 
Ornamental,  $1  00. 

AMERICANISMS  AND  BRITICISMS,  with  Other  Essays  on 
Other  Isms.  With  Portrait.  16mo,  Cloth,  Ornament 
al,  $1  00. 

THE  ROYAL  MARINE.  An  Idyl  of  Narragansett  Pier. 
Illustrated.  32mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  $1  00. 

THIS  PICTURE  AND  THAT.  A  Comedy.  Illustrated. 
32mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  50  cents. 

THE  DECISION  OF  THE  COURT.  A  Comedy.  Illustrated. 
32mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  50  cents. 

IN  THE  VESTIBULE  LIMITED.  A  Story.  Illustrated. 
12mo,  Cloth,  Ornamental,  50  cents. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK 

fW  The  above  works  are  for  sale  by  all  booksellers,  or  will  be  sent  by  tht 
publishers  by  mail,  postage  prepaid,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


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BERKELEY  LIBRARIES 


